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March 28, 2008

IF EVER A CITY DESERVED A COLONOSCOPY CERTIFICATE

...that city is Edmonton.

(Thanks to Keli Minick)

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Makes sense I guess. It's cold as Hell (wait that doesn't seem to make any sense. Oh well) in Edmonton, and we all know fat hardens when it gets cold.

**note to self: finish reading AFTER work, start after 'seat belt'**

In Raleigh NC they're way ahead of them -- unless the council changes their minds, it's still being argued back and forth...

They've got robots to handle that now, don't they?

It's nice that they have videos.

I wonder who's happy job it is to watch the monitors in the sewer system...and how they keep their lunches down!

The city recommends people dump their grease into a container and store it in the fridge to harden, until they have enough to put a wick in to make a candle.

Or you could dump it on your dog's dinner.

Or you could use it help you get into your wet suit.

Or you could dunk the gerbil in it before you...

...put it in it's exercise ball?

I'm sure a few sticks of TNT fiber would solve everything.

Wench - is that what the kids are calling it these days?

yeah, that's the ticket Wench, the old 'exercise ball'.

Yes, but just make sure it doesn't "roll down the stairs" or "get eaten by the dog".

The story is a metaphor (what's a meta for?)
{sorry, old joke) for most of the population today. Eating fatty stuff, clogging the arteries, then unclogging them with assorted medical devices.

*uses duct tape to tape fingers*


Soooo many other uses for the grease...but I must run along now...ta tas!

Yes, Siouxie uses grease for those two, too.

Is "blobs" a scientific term?

Annie, only scented oil for the ta tas. El told me.

Gretzky shoots...OHHHHH!!!! Shot denied due to sewage pipe blockage.

Sounds like a sewage line bypass or two might be in order.

Edmonton sucks! Fat apparently

I was blocked, yes blocked from the blog for about 2 hours, although I could go to any other web site, and when I discussed this with my Cox SWAT guy who was here earlier today 'fixing' things, he said, "Well, maybe Dave Barry just doesn't like you!"

The nerve.

Anyhoo, I'm back now and it doesn't seem like I missed much. No blog bar tonight?

I think there was a mass blockage, El. The intertubes must have been temporarily routed through Edmonton.

No new posts from the last hour or so...so I think you're right, MTBlue. Here - shrimp cocktail for all, and your choice of liquid refreshments. Never did this before - ooops, here's the little napkins.

soooo - how's your day goin'?
*pours myself another*

Mmmmm, nice, horseradishy cocktail sauce! Thanks, Sandy. My day is winding down with a large Manhattan, following a very weird performance that I just saw at a local college theatre. I think the acting company, director and writer beat me to the Manhattans, but I'm not complaining.

Good Lord what was that all about Meanie? What were they attempting to perform?

It's the Bookbinder brand cocktail sauce from Sam's - can't beat it.
*pours myself another screwdriver*
*remembering I used to LOVE Manhattans*
hmmm - we're just blocks from the local college theater, and never think to take advantage of it.

It was an examination on how personal monetary choices are made. After giving each audience member 5 singles, the audience would choose from one of eight short vignettes, acted out in pantomime with sound and dialogue heard through headphones, dealing with some kind of monetary issue or choice. There were six intervals for watching one of the vignettes, and they each "cost" a dollar or two. It was done in a sort of laboratory setting, and there were a couple of song and dance numbers thrown in, for "free", between the vignettes. These seemed to all be part of a parody on the fact that the audience had chosen to spend their time and money watching this performance.

Edmonton, oh Edmonton
I still see your sewers cloggin’
I still watch the fat start blobbin’
How much grease has run through pipes in Edmonton?

Edmonton, oh Edmonton
I can see your basements floodin’
You don’t want to let that crud in
It won’t be fun to clean up Edmonton

I can see fat getting cold; it hardens
Then gets stuck; backs up sewer lines
So, Canucks, think--next time you dine,
Put your grease away when you’re done

Edmonton, oh Edmonton
I am so afraid you’re dying
Because I've watched you buying Crisco by the ton
In Edmonton, in Edmonton

OK, this is a long shot as I don't the song too well, and I'm on my second large Manhattan, and I'm resisting the impulse to say it's "Oh Tannenbaum" because I know it isn't ... but, is that based on "Galveston", JD?

*hicSNORK*

oh ducky - I just can't flap enough for you. flap flap flap for your talent.

LOL Ducky that was great!!

pssssst, there's a test on the next thread --->

No cheating!!

Correctamundo, Meanie. Have another Manhattan, on me!

Thanks, SandyE. You're too kind.
*Enjoys breeze created by Sandy's flaps*

*Er, fails the test for finding the test.....*

Thanks, Siouxie! (Psst, what thread? What test?)

If it's a sobriety test, I'm just gonna turn my paper in .....

*Slinks in®*

I can't find the test either. I guess I flunk.

Um...they posted it and then removed it. I'm not crazy!! Honest!!

Hi, Cat! I really like your "slinkin'."

I hate to sing and run, but I must flap off for awhile. Might be back a little later. 'Bye for now!

What up peeps? Are we moving to a new thread sometime soon?

Sioux - repost here? Let's see what happens.

(I've never seen a sudden yank of a post that made it through. I blame Edmonton.)

Hi, Ducky! And I love your singin'!

Anybody else getting booted out of the website a lot today? Like, shut down the browser and try again booted?

Meanie, I think Dave or judi were just trying to see if the blog was still broken. It just said.. Test. It's gone now. Someone else posted before me, can't remember who now.

Not quite that bad for me, Cat. I was out for awhile and trying to see what was going on here on my BlogBerry, and noticing that the comments were very few and far between. But I wasn't trying to post anything until I got home, when it worked fine (except for me seeing double).

Blog isn't broken, apparently. Bloggers, maybe .....

I didn't even know there was a problem. I only came online right after Ducky posted her song. Then I saw the next thread.

IT WAS THERE!!!

*checks her wine*

ok..I've only had ONE glass.

I've been broken for years which might explain why I didn't notice anything. Still, it's better to be broken than live through this.

Blue, not broken, just plain broke. *sigh*

And JUST when I was thinking we hadn't had a ManiLink in a while.

Doc! Tsk, tsk. I finally get back in and you send me THERE?

I believe you, Siouxie. I've seen posts appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. Two blinks, maybe.

They don't call judi the Stealth Blogette for nuthin'.

Hiya, Diva!!

I can only guess there was an actual problem, Siouxie. I was out for awhile, and when I came back it seemed like an unusually long time had passed for there to have been no more comments posted. El made reference to a problem (above), also.

If it's the Apocalypse, I'd just like to know. There's no hope for me, so I just want as much advance notice as I can get.

*SMACKS* Rick!! good thing I have quick reflexes and stopped it before it did any permanent brain damage.

*Uses all remaining powers of discretion to avoid remarking on brain damage*

If it's the Apocalypse, there's nowhere I would rather be than right here on the bl...

Oh, that's just pathetic.

Who's tending bar tonight? Teenager is having a sleepover and Dance Dance Revolution is
m a k i n g

m e

t h i r s t y . . .

I'm up for blogbar duty.

*Picks self off of floor*

Woooo, SlinkyCat! Sounds like a fun night at your house. :D A darned good night for drinking, IMO.

Obviously, correct orders are not a certainty at this point....

Hm, Blue. I don't believe I've ever been served by you before! I'll take a Kahlua and cream, Sir.

One Corona and lime for Diva, right away!

Agreed. One appletini for me, Meanie. Or anything, really.

Well, not anything.

(Diva, see what you started when you told me about LOLcats?)

Cat, I will FIRMLY accept that blame!! :D I will not touch that bat urine Coors, either.

Mmmmm....LIME!! *blissful sigh* OK. This is better than the K&C tonight.

Since I'd been having problems with my puter earlier in the day, I thought it was just me and had convinced Cox SWAT guy of this. And we ran tests and did all sorts of stuff that I now know we didn't need to. Ninety minutes of my life I'll never get back.

In other news, they're playing Hide The Salami on the History Channel. Really.

I think I need something stronger than an appletini, even though they're yummy.

JD on the rocks, please.

I opened the bar above a couple hours ago, for the first time for me, with shrimp cocktail, etc., during the "blackout" - gawd, I wonder how many of us got pregnant in the last two hours - not me.

*Looks around for apples*

Er, will a Clementini be OK, Cat?

Well, before I have legal bodies acting against me, I'll just pour some of this JD over these here rocks and slide it on down to Eleanor, a favored client of mine.

I'm almost certain that I'm not pregnant, but then again, I'm not at all certain that I'm aware of what's happening around me .....

Lime, you say, Diva? Here you go. Just lending a hand, Meanie.

Hi, Sandy -- yes, you did, and I can't believe I missed. the. shrimp. mmmpurrrrmmmm

Eleanor, I can't help it. "Cox SWAT" sounds like something from Siouxie's favorite catalog. 'Splain, please?

(Meanie --if that's made with Clementine tangerines, YES!)

LOLCat! I love that picture. :D

Darnit - I meant to post a CoxSWAT comment ^ up there, but forgot!

Cat, assistance is an insult to my natural capabilities wholeheartedly (and desparately) welcomed at this point.

And, clementine-wise, you're quite correct. Coming right up (if I can manage it)!

I'm having champagne and celebrating. The academic review panel accepted my master's thesis today. I am now officially done!!!

I'll take a beer Sandy and if nobody is watching Memphis destroy Michigan St. maybe we could put this in the DVD player just for grins.

Beautiful rocks, Blue, thanks. :)

Cat, my cable company is Cox. When you get to be such a PITA to their regular tech support people, they turn you over to their SWAT team. Yes, that's really what they call it. It's pretty cool actually, except for one of them sort of stalking me. But I digress. You don't call a regular number with a menu, you have cell phone numbers. You don't make an appointment with some 2 or 4 hour window. I called about 9 this morning and someone was here at 11a.m.

They've rewired my entire house, twice, because I have internet, TV and phone, they update everything, and they don't charge because they feel bad that you were previously jerked around by regular tech support.
So it's pretty cool. :)

Congratulations, Al!!!! WTG!!!

El has a Cox problem. heh! ;-)

WOOHOO!!!! Way ta go Al! I haven't a clue as to what comes next for you but big time congrats from Texas. Now fix everything since you're so smart. ;)

Thanks, I'm very happy, hence the champagne.

*Ices up a serious congratulatory beverage of choice for the Man From The Arctic*

Name it, sir - I could probably come moderately close. Alternatively, I could refresh your champagne glasses with the right stuff.

Good goin'!

Well folks, I'm off to bed. Ya'll have a great evening and sweet dreams. Buenas Noches.

Congrats, Arctic! Your post wasn't there when i posted. WTG! I remember when I found out that I passed the bar what an exhilarating feeling it was, and I'm sure this is similiar - you're done!

Arctic Al, congratulations!!! Three cheers for our brainy blogger!

El, I kind of thought it was something like that. Sounds like a decent deal. Except for the stalking.

In this day and age, with caller ID and cell phones, etc., "capturing" someone's "real" call-back number is like finding the Holy Grail. I just went through that with my (former) human resources department yesterday. Once I got the real name and the real phone number of a real person with a real brain on the other end, I ain't lettin' it go.

Nite, Siouxie. Careful with those vinyl bedsheets, k? ;-)

Al, that is FANTABULOUS NEWS!!!!!

*pops cork on a fresh bottle, sprays Al down* =^D

*Has nitecap in Siouxie's honor*

YeahHic!

Al, I don't know how many years elapsed between your undergraduate degree and your master's, but if it hasn't been too many, then I am sorry to tell you that you're really not "done".

See, about five to ten years after it's all over, you'll wake up at 4AM in a sweat, sincerely convinced that you are back in school, somehow have accidentally blown off the entire semester's coursework and lectures for a required class, and TODAY is the FINAL EXAM for which you are ALREADY 35 minutes LATE and must RUN to the OTHER side of campus and throw yourself on the mercy of the professor.

Oh, and when you get there, you realize you are naked.

(Then, once you change the bedsheets, you are DONE!)

Al! WOO-HOO FOR YOU! Massive congratulations on your masters!

Cat, you been in my head?

Doc Rick, I haven't seen the Smokey movies since they came out in theaters, back in 197cough-cough-cough.

That was a great clip. I loved the part where Burt grins at the camera and takes off again.

It's been fun!


*zips out*

Well Cat first undergrad degree was in 1978 (yes I'm old). Second undergrad degree was in 2005. Then I started the Masters program and will graduate in June of 2008. In my dream I'm naked, but everyone else is too and the exam is a practical demonstration of naked twister, so it's still a pretty good dream...

You too, Ducky? I know at least two other people who have had that dream!!

Within the limits of my grasp at this point, Cat, you're saying that Al may be done in the physical sense, but not in the pyschic sense?

Cat, TV master control operators have that same dream. Somebody tells us to go to a commercial break and the equipment goes kablooey. I've lived that nightmare and it ain't fun.

Yes, Cat. I've even dreamed that there was some kind of mistake and my HIGH SCHOOL contacts me to let me know I never graduated, and if I want to graduate, I have to come back to San Antonio and attend classes at the school, in person even, to get my diploma.

*Shudders*

Sometimes we need to remember from whence we came Cat. The grin is the signature to the scene. Back when Burt was Burt. *heads over to the old fogey section of the blog bar*

Meanie, you got it! Al, simul nekkid dreamin'. Early graduation present.

(My own situation had a "gap" of sorts. I transferred took haitus gathered life experience dropped out as an undergrad back in 1981 and didn't start a long new 6-year night school path to my BS until 1987. So I had "the dream" a couple of times in my life -- good times.)

LOL, Doc and Ducky. Not too stressed out, were we?

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