FLORIDIAN OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to DavCat)

Comments

[Texgal]

First coleslaw wrestling, now nude alligator encounters! You guys sure know how to have a good time.

[Epic Anderson]

"Sir, what are you doing? Again."

"Proving Darwin right! This is bigger than all of us!"

"That's really not the best..."

*CHOMP*

"..."

"Should we..."

"No. It's bigger than all of us."

[Texgal]

Um, thanks for making the dumb sh!t that my fellow Texans frequently do seem not quite so bad!!!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

At the bottom was a link to Mr. Apgar's previous naked encounter with a gator and the police.

He looks like Sam Elliott gone (even more) to seed.

[slyeyes]

So much for the Apgar test.

[slyeyes]

*snork @ Epic*

[CJrun]

This would not be a problem if 'gators were in season.

[Jeff Meyerson]

sly, I thought of that too. Mr. Apgar was not aptly named - his first name should have been Deficient.

[Elon Weintraub]

sly, admit it. He has the "appearance" and "grimace" pretty well nailed.

[CJrun]

It's nice to hear from former Governor Skink again, but where's his showercap?

[somewhat obscure]

[Marilyn]

I don't get it. He was bitten by a snake, so he was looking for an alligator?

[Wench Lizzy]

I'm sure it made sense to him at the time.

[crossgirl]

third time's the charm, stay tuned for the next installment.

[slyeyes]

CJ, not so obsure. And Skink would have fed Mr. Apgar to the alligators long ago.

[Texgal]

Non-Skink tip off -- the eyes matched each other.

Very true, sly.

[Siouxie]

Good morning!! I hate DST! One less hour of beautimous sleep.

Soooooooo another proud day in Florida. Darwin's just waiting for this dude.

[Siouxie]

No mention if alcohol was involved??

[jug]

He wasn't drinking Siouxie. Some Russians in a tank had stolen his vodka

[SW]

Revenge is a dish best served cold and shriveled.

[Siouxie]

Off for brunch with the bffs...have a great afternoon everyone!

[SW]

Enjoy brunch, sxi. Try the peas.

[Texgal]

*Sends Sioux a vat of caliente caffe cubano*

Hope that helps!

[Annie Where-but-here]

*swipes caffe cubano*
Is it Saturday yet? And why can't I feel my tongue?
Never mind. It was worth it.
Whatever it was.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Does anyone know how to unwater an artificial plant?

[insomniac]

vibrass?

[Annie Where-but-here]

insom - sorry. I'm not that kind of girl.

[diverdowndoc]

*snork* at everyone, and an honorable mention "ewwww" at SW.

Annie- towels?

[jug]

*consulting the Bachelor's Book of Home Remedies and Other Arcane Advice*
Annie, you need to put the plant in the microwave on High for 2 minutes.

[Annie Where-but-here]

You'd like that, wouldn't you, jug?

[Texgal]

*Sends Sioux a HEAVILY NON-RUSSIAN TANK GUARDED vat of caliente caffe cubano*

Sigh! Hope this one's not hijacked to the left coast.

[jug]

There's a lot of things I like Annie.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Like scrapbooking?
Texgal, the naked man with the alligator made me do it.

[Texgal]

juggie, so I've heard -- the gals do talk.

[Texgal]

Annie, that's alright 'cause I'm bi(coastal).

[jug]

Scrapbooking? WTH is that?

[Jazzzz]

Was the Gator smoking crack? I'm confused

[Annie Where-but-here]

The gator nearly smoked the dude's crack.

[Annie Where-but-here]

jug, what do I look like, Ms. Google?

[Kristina L.]

Maybe next time, the guy will win a Darwin award.

[jug]

No, she's a blonde.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I hope so, Kristina. Third time's the chum.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*™

jug and Annie
sittin' in a tree....

*giggles*

[Eleanor]

*winks at Jazzzz*

[Jazzzz]

*winks* back

[Doc Rick]

What's with all the winking? Is there a lot of dust floating around the blog bar this afternoon?

[Texgal, CMS (certified manure spreader)]

Nah, Doc, just the usual fertilizer.

*Sends microbial smooch south towards Angleton*

[Jazzzz]

can't tell you Doc, or we would have to *wink* you

[ellie]

*zips in*

Crocodile Cock?

& snork at all youse

*zips out*

[Doc Rick]

It's ok Jazz. I'd prefer just to give ya a high-five. *sends anti-microbial smooch back Tex's way*

[Doc Rick]

*steals zipper from El for future use in escaping Siouxie's machete*

[Doc Rick]

* excuse me, ellie. sorry about that. ;) *

[Eleanor]

It is my zip, Doc. I'm sure that ellie meant to ask for permission before using it. She's sort of new, so maybe she didn't get the memo. ;)

*winks at ellie*

[Doc Rick]

Well El, I'm still stealing it. Its been a few days since the last machete attack and I figure I'm due.

[Texgal]

Doc, I hate to tell you this, but Machete Mama has anti-zip protection (with a lubricated, spermacide filled tip).

Nowadays, one can never be too careful.

(winks @ Sioux)

[Doc Rick]

*snork @ Tex* Excellent points!

[Texgal, CMS (certified manure spreader)]

(winks @ Doc) Dang flying manure keeps getting in my eye.

Did I mention that the anti-zip is multifunctional? It also acts as a multivitamin and a Curad. Kinda like a nutritious, nonsmoking patch for whatever part has a boo-boo.

[Doc Rick]

Texas A&M graduate Tex? I understand they're pretty good at teaching that.

[Eleanor]

*wonders where Annie and jug are*

[jug]

I'm right here Eleanor. In about 30 minutes today's batch of jambalaya will be ready.

[Doc Rick]

MMMMMMMM.....Jambalaya.....*drools like Homer Simpson*

[jug]

*tosses Doc a drool cup*

[Doc Rick]

Thanks Jug. A cold beer and good jambalaya makes for a nice Sunday afternoon. Oh, and good company to share it with like y'all.

[SW]

"jug, what do I look like, Ms. Google??"

Yeah, sure, annie. Let the man dream.

[Texgal]

Nah, Doc. My BA's from Our Lady of the Lake University in San Antonio. Nothing like a degree from a good Catholic school for a born-again heretic.

My ability to spread bull sh!t is innate. My father was chief engineer on an oil tanker and my mother was a church secretary. They had a strange mix of personalities, but a surprisingly happy marriage.

[jug]

When its done, you pour the beer, I'll serve it up.

[Texgal]

SW, what a fine set of oh so natural googles!!!!

[Doc Rick]

Ya got it Jug. Tex, I feel pretty secure in saying that if you're born in the Lone Star State spreading b.s. comes naturally. It's what makes us great.

[Texgal]

*Uncontrollably drools at the thought of hot jambalaya and cold beer!!!!!*

[Doc Rick]

*hands Tex his drool cup* Here ya go. Watch that one side of it since I kinda missed.

[Texgal]

Nah, Doc. I'm a naturalized Texan who married into a very strange southeast Texas family. Was born in Toledo, OH and moved to Beaumont, Texas at age 5. And finally, both parents were born in West Virginia. Guess that makes me triple screwed.

[jug]

Who wants some Jambalaya?

[Doc Rick]

ME!!!!! Tex, you got here early enough in your life to absorb it honestly. Once you're a Texan, you're always a Texan.

[Eleanor]

And you cook too, jug?!?

Move over, Annie. I don't think I've ever had jambalaya...

[jug]

Here you go Doc, Tex.

[SW]

El -

It has traif in it. Tell her the ingredients, jug.

[jug]

I try Eleanor. I am better with a grill than I am with pots and pans.

SW- the only ingredients are these:

* 1 pound chicken breasts or tenders, boneless, cut in 1-inch cubes
* 8 to 12 ounces smoked sausage, sliced
* 1/2 cup chopped onion
* 1 green bell pepper, chopped
* 1 large can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes
* 1 cup chicken broth
* 1/2 cup dry white wine
* 2 teaspoons dried leaf oregano
* 2 teaspoons dried parsley
* 2 teaspoons Cajun seasoning
* 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
* 1 pound shrimp, cooked
* 2 cups raw rice, cooked

PREPARATION:
Combine chicken, sausage, chopped bell pepper, and chopped onion in slow cooker. Add tomatoes, chicken broth, wine, oregano, parsley, Cajun seasoning, and pepper; stir gently. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours, or on HIGH for 3 to 4 hours. About 30 to 45 minutes before eating, add cooked shrimp and hot cooked rice; heat thoroughly.

[CJrun]

*checks pantry for '...raw rice, cooked....* :P

[jug]

That stuff was a little hard to find CJ.

[Texgal]

I'll donate a case of Shiner Bock. Mightly tasty jambalaya! This is clean livin'!!!

Now all we need are some fresh cooked mudbugs. And I do suck da' heads.

[daisymae]

Annie - I just want you to know that when I read your post from this morning about 'Ms. Google,' I Googled "scrapbooking" (just to see what was there), got involved in trying Google Notebook (which was pretty neat), started a notebook, got side-tracked by the news, forgot what I was doing, and finally got back here an hour later to read this thread. NTTAWWT.

[CJrun]

I'll chip in case of Abita and a BlogBar carport-reverberating buurrpp.

[WriterDude]

The only reason I have ever envied you Texans is your proximity to Louisiana and her food.

Jug, if I bring a case of Dixie or Blackened Voodoo, can I get in on the jambalaya too?

[Eleanor]

Stevie's right, jug. Traif....:(

[jug]

Sure WriterDude. Help yourself

Eleanor, I googled traif (since Ms Google is busy apparently) and figured out what that was. Tell you what, next Sunday I will come up with something sans traif.

[Psycho Joe]

Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong here?

Here we have a crazy naked man chasing an alligator...

Y'all are conspiring to invent a wonder condom?

"Doc, I hate to tell you this, but Machete Mama has anti-zip protection (with a lubricated, spermacide filled tip)."

"Did I mention that the anti-zip is multifunctional? It also acts as a multivitamin and a Curad. Kinda like a nutritious, nonsmoking patch for whatever part has a boo-boo."

Or is that just tex? (HAHAHA!!! Heh, wonder condom.)

And the jambalaya recipie seems a bit out of place as well.

However...
I wonder why the man was naked anyway.
Was he planning to do something wicked to the gator?
How would one go about doing something like that?
Why?

I'm just curious. Seems the article left out some important info.

8>

[WriterDude]

Thanks, jug (yum).

Stevie and El, regarding traif: Okay, I can understand the pork thing. But you folks are just plain being denied one of (my) life's greatest pleasures when it comes to shellfish. Oh, well, more for me! ;-)

[CJrun]

Joe, the guy is a regular irregular. They are looking for a padded lake.

El, Stevie, I'm pretty there are personal opt-outs. I, crab biologist, finally just accepted cg's refusal to eat 'seafood with legs.' Now I find out she will eat 'Cajun Shrimp,' which are mudbugs. So, obviously crawfish are an exception...I think.

[DavCat]

in order to cook, you must shop first... watch out!

Grocery foreplay

[Eleanor]

I eat shellfish. Please don't tell the rabbi. :)
The first time I went to France I discovered écrevisse, which is crawfish. One of the best things I've ever eaten.

[Texgal]

Hi Psycho! The turbo condom is mine, but the food and booze really do fit in with this story. Obviously the crackhead guy needed sumthin' nourishing, so he was hunting for an alligator or cooter (turtle) and was bitten while naked. We Southerners (even if I was personally born in frickin' Toledo, OH) pride ourselves on our closeness to nature. [We're so close to nature that we'll kill and eat and/or stuff and mount (on the wall, not usually "you know," but that also sometimes happens) almost anything that moves.] Being naked is a big part of our communing with nature (and each other, whatever comes first). So yes, this thread makes perfect sense.

[jug]

snork@ Grocery Foreplay

[Texgal]

Davcat, that makes me want to cook. IYKWIM, AITYD

[DavCat]

Texgal - cook what? ; >

[Psycho Joe]

I would think if you were hunting gators, you'd want to be wearing something.
At least a jock strap.

I would want buoyant kevlar all over my body. If I ever decided to hunt gator.
But that's because I'm sane.

How crazy is this dood to be naked?
I mean, come on, not even a knife?
How about a sharp stick?
No?
How did he plan to actually get this alligator?
Was he just gonna beat the gator down with a stiff boner?
Cause that is the highest order of insane.
IMHO.

And hi Tex, you very funny!

8>

[Texgal]

Jock straps are for "kitties."
In the South, crazy is relative -- usually on both sides of the family tree.
Non shooting weapons are for "kitties." However, Southerners would consider it way cool to shoot a gator with a Russian tank (driven by a drunk Southerner).
Southerners don't always feel a need to plan.
A stiff boner is always welcome in the South.
Insane is considered to be an alternative Southern lifestyle.

And thanks, Psycho!

[Psycho Joe]

The New York Times recently stated that 66% of American families are disfunctional.

That means that insane is normal.
It's not an alternative anymore.
It's the way.
Normal people are going out of style.

Insane is in.

Still, naked dude vs. gator = dead guy.

[Texgal]

Dav, I'd make yeast bread just so I could watch the dough rise.

[Texgal]

Pyscho, my ex-in-laws are the dysfunctional poster family.

[jug]

Tex, you just like the thought of watching things rise.
I bet you like it when someone says "Y'all watch this." It means the party is about to get more interestin

[Diva]

Evening, jug, Tex, Psycho, Dav! Gonna go heinz through now...back in a flash!