SPEAKING OF AIRCRAFT MAINTENANCE...

...I'm flying across the country today, so I won't be blogging for a while. Right now I'm in a plane at Miami International Airport Construction Zone. When I went through security, the TSA guy who was checking IDs announced: "Everybody, please hold your own ticket." Then, apparently for the benefit of Spanish-speaking travelers, he said, "Hold-o your own ticket-o. Everybody-o."

Update: Now here's a shock. The pilot just announced that we have a Mechanical Problem. Aircraft maintenance is taking a look at it.

Update: They're changing a brake assembly. But they still think we might be leaving sometime today. Or at least this week. Maybe. They're going to keep us advised.

Update: The pilot just informed us that the repair is, quote, "not going as quickly as expected." He did not say who expected it to be going quickly.

Update: They're doing the paperwork! Can't be more than another day or two now. Anyway, I'm signing off here. Thanks for the company, and I hope the rest of your day goes better than mine has so far.

Update (thanks to Peter Metrinko): I hope I don't have this pilot.

Update: The pilot says they're "still taking care of paperwork." I think maybe they're doing their taxes up there.

Update: They told me to turn off my 'puter. Bye.

Comments

[Siouxie]

*snork-o*

Have a safe trip, Dave! (hope you get out of MIA)(today)

[Josh]

And he said it extra-loud, extra slowly, right?

[Josh]

Reminds me of Karen from Will and Grace.

[Meanie the Blue]

It's good to know that non-English speakers have a resource to turn to *eye roll-o*

What a bozo-o.

[lil rascal]

That was the aircraft maintenance engineer contest winner speaking, your pilot!

[Not My Usual Alias]

It could have been worse. He could have tried to translate the statement into Chinglish.

[Siouxie]

Dave, I believe they've found the problem. There seems to be a crack in one of the windows.

[Siouxie]

For the Spanish speaking bloggers, that's crack-o en la wind-o.

[Wyo Cowboy]

huh? I don' hear so good. you said "give some crack to the bimbo?"

[Guin]

*eye roll-o*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

OT
You've got 3 weeks to find a sweater.
(Yes, even you southerners can take off miyourjamies and put on a sweater for one day.)
/OT

Don't worry Dave. Brakes are only a one-beer job.

[Braniff77]

the last time I had a brake assembly changed, they forgot to put the bolts back on and the whole thing fell off in my driveway. I hope you'll be landing somewhere with a really long runway.

[Wyo Cowboy]

I think I'll just sing to my neighbor, and leave the sweater hangin' in the closet.

[Wyo Cowboy]

Aren't you glad you're (not your) not my neighbor?

[Snoozeman]

Not to worry, they are bringing in Matt Venzke of Yorktown, Va. to fix the aircraft. I'm sure he hasn't had too many brews.

[Dave]

Thanks, Braniff, for that reassurance.

[Suzy Q]

Wouldn't it just be easier to walk to wherever you're going, Dave-o?

[Hammond Rye]

Don't worry about the brakes, Dave. There are usually enough buildings, trees, aircraft, vehicles, bridges and fences to stop your plane once you land.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Don't worry - the massive snowdrifts will break your fall.

[Meanie the Blue]

I hope Dave has a good supply of Cheet-o-o's.

[Meanie the Blue]

...I'm flying across the country today, so I won't be blogging for a while.

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be optimistic.

[Annie Where-but-here]

private note to bloggers - be very careful-o before you mock a TSA agent-o. They tend to take names-o, hold grudges-o, and be very good-o at cavity searches-o.

[daisymae]

O-dear-o, Annie-o, heaven forfend-o that one-o of us-o would make-o fun-o of a TSA agent. o.

The crucial question is...are they feeding the passengers? o?

[Annie Where-but-here]

...unless you enjoy that sort of thing. Then carry on-o. But only one bag, please.

[daisymae]

O-dear-o, Annie-o, heaven forfend-o that one-o of us-o would make-o fun-o of a TSA agent. o.

The crucial question is...are they feeding the passengers? o?

[Braniff77]

Just wondering why the TSA agent made that announcement as he was looking at your ticket. Were you holding someone else's ticket? Maybe trying to see if they were paying attention?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Captive audience, Dave. Time for some stand-up comedy. Or sell some books. Yes, your publisher told me to say that. Time-o is money-o.

[Guin]

Day-o, I say Day-o, daylight come and I wanna go home.

[NYC Squirrel]

Another sign of the increased wait time on airplanes - Dave no longer writes columns. Now he has enough time to write entire freakin' books.

[Meanie the Blue]

Field crew supervisor to mechanic: Make sure-o you put-o the bolts-o back in-o.

Mechanic: ¿Que?

[Cat R.]

TDPC: I like Mr. Rogers. He's comforting. I wanted him to be my neighbor. I'm sad he is gone.

Mr. McFeely? Can't get past the creepy name.

[CJrun]

We Want Our Flying Cars! (and an 'O')

[Guin]

Cat - Mr. Rogers was the best. But one of the funniest things I've ever seen was Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" on SNL.

[Desk-oDiva-o]

Where's OtheU when there-o's a post-o written just-o for him-o?

Meanie-o, that crack-os me up-o.

*Wave-os (huevos?) at Hammie-o!!!*

Wyo (it's built in), I'd be glad-o to be your neighbor-o!

[Loudmouth]

D#mn, my neighbor looks good in a sweater. A tight sweater. A tight red sweater. A tight, low cut.....

Oops, back to work.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Loudmouth. Call me. But first, call your parole officer.

[Cat R.]

Guin, I know! A classic.

[Hammond Rye]

*Waves @ Siouxie!!*

*Wonders why she is waving eggs. Quietly hides around corner.*

[Desk-oDiva-o]

*AHEM* Hammie. That was NOT Siouxie waving those eggs.... Also, I see you around that corner.

[Desk-oDiva-o]

Dave, I think that was video of the last flight Matt Venzke was on.

[Hammond Rye]

Oops, Waves quickly at DD!!!
Sorry!

[Steve Haller]

Don't worry, folks, I just caught a glimpse of Dave's pilot and I don't think he has anything to fear ...

[DeskDiva]

LOL, Hammie. You're all good. ;-)

Steve - you mean this guy?

[Annie Where-but-here]

*Waves restraining order @ Hammie*

[Steve Haller]

That looks like him, Diva, but I stayed tuned for that guy singing after the skit and he's not near as good as that Irish turkey...

[DeskDiva]

Irish turkey, Steve? You don't mean Kentucky, do you?

[Mot the Hoople]

Rats! The wireless router decided to down tools and go on strike. Took me while to realise what the .... was going on. Now I've had to move the laptop to the study upstairs to plug it directly into the modem. To top it all the 2nd channel feed from the PVR to the LCD in the study went apeshit and now I can't even watch TV while I'm blogging. Generally I love technology but some days I hate it.

[DeskDiva]

(((((Mot))))) *SMOOOCHies* At least you're here on the playground!

[daisymae]

Mot...if you'd say that in plain English, I'd try real hard to understand it. Ya lost me at 'channel feed'.

[CJrun]

Translation:

Rats! [SQUIRRELS] The wireless router [RABBIT-EAR THINGY] decided to down tools [SLING THE FLAMING CAT] and go on strike [HIT]. Took me while to realise what the .... was going on [BEER]. Now I've had to move the laptop to the study [LOO] upstairs to plug it directly into the modem [PLUGGY BOX THINGY] . To top it all the 2nd channel feed [CHEEZITS] from the PVR [TiVo] to the LCD [LIQUID CRACK DISPENSER] in the study [LOO] went apeshit [MADONNA] and now I can't even watch TV while I'm blogging 'WORKING']. Generally I love technology [ANIMATRONIC BLOW-UP DOLLS] but some days I hate it.

Posted by: Mot the Hoople | 10:51 AM on February 28, 2008

[Siouxie]

*WAVES @ Hammie!!!*

*checks*

Nope, no huevos here.

grrrrrrr swamped @ work...help!

[DesKDiva]

CJ - I think you're channeling Dave. He must be flying overhead right now!

[daisymae]

snork @ CJ

[circuit7]

Mr. McFeely WBAGNFARB.

TSA Agent... not so much.

[Eleanor]

daisy, he lost me at "Rats!" ;)

[Siouxie]

Did CJ say something?

[wickedwitch]

huge mouthful of high-powered hot caffeine suspension SNORKED all over flat panel screen and input pad. Thanks CJ.

[Flowergirl]

Good Luck, Dave!

I only waited a couple of hours on the runway last week!

[Meanie the Blue]

I think they've got Dave's flight all straightened out now.

(Check out the move at 3:38!)

[DeskDiva]

COOL video, Meanie!

[crossgirl]

*snork* at cj!

dave, by paperwork, they mean they're indisposed iykwim.

[Siouxie]

cg, they're gonna need a bigger tp roll.

[Wench Lizzy]

Mechanical problems just give the pilots more time to drink before you take off, but no worries, I'm sure they've done this a thousand times, Dave. Safe travels today!

[Steve Haller]

And let's hope Dave's constant e-mails to the blog didn't alert authorities to single him out as a BDO ... !

[Emily Litella]

I, for one, hope they do not allow ticks on the plane. Can you imagine? First it's snakes and then--what? Tics? Ohh. Never mind.

[DeskDiva]

BDO?
BoDy Odor?
Badly Done Opera?
Boorish Droning Oaf?
Banana Dipping Obstetrician?
Barry, Dave, Overthehill?

*psst, Steve - the BDOs are the TSA squad, not the passengers. ;-)

[Steve Haller]

Diva, I don't think that last guess will go over too well with our host...

But you're right, I shoulda said "get him singled out by the BDO" -- that's what happens when you're nervously looking over your shoulder as you type...

[Squirrelibooger]

Heeheeheehee....rebenge is squweet

[Merri Lee]

BTW - it's no accident that planes are repaired while you're on them, or why you sit on the runways for hours in a long-@ssed take off line. By law (I have no idea what lobbyists legal scholars came up with this idea), your flight is on time when it leave the gate NOT when it takes off. This allows airliners to have such a high on-time flight rate.

[Alfred]

Hey, I have been on a plane that landed like that. Denver airport. It was a blast!

Literally, a blast of air threw the plane sideways as we landed. The Pilot was able to adjust, but everyone laughed and had a good time with it.

[Cheryl Howard]

Have a safe flight-o Dave-o!

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

Field crew supervisor to mechanic: Make sure-o you put-o the bolts-o back in-o.

Mechanic: ¿Que?

Ah, another Fawlty Towers fan!

[Siouxie]

I'm a fan as well, Richard. I was JUST watching an episode this afternoon at my sister's house.