HUMOR...

...in the news

(Thanks to Pirateboy)

Comments

[DeskDiva]

Yay for Scott Adams! Now it's not just ONE guy that thinks they're drunken lemurs. I just love it when idiots shoot themselves in the foot. :-D

[DeskDiva]

I also hope those idiots don't try to sue Scott Adams for this.

[Texgal]

Sounds like what my former boss, Jabette the Hutt, would do (or maybe doo).

[Jabbette the Hut]

Eebah woo tog fix me coffee and call my husband eetah goombah Texgal.

[DeskDiva]

*SNORK!!!* VERY nice, Doc Jabbette!

[Siouxie]

What a buncha a-holes!

[Doc Rick]

Siouxie! I am offended! Oh wait, you meant the bosses in the story. Still, if you were referring to me your correct. ;)

[Doc Rick]

*replaces "your" with "you're" in case the grammar police are afoot*

[Siouxie]

*smacks* Rick with an ' and an e!

Silly boy, not you.

[Doc Rick]

*and wielding a machete and hot wax*

[Wench Lizzy]

Well, now they don't look like drunken lemmurs. Just stupid and petty bastards!

[Siouxie]

It's an insult to all drunken lemurs out there.

[Stupid & Petty Lemurs, Inc.]

"Lemur" has ONE 'm,' dammit!

[Wench Lizzy]

But my new a$$hole of a keyboard wanted two.

[Stupid & Petty Lemurs, Inc.]

What part of spellczech don't you understand?

[Doc Rick]

I quit talking to my keyboard around August last year. Apparently yelling obscenities at it doesn't correct for my bad data entry.

[pogo]

Remember the guys who got called on the carpet for using the words "niggardly" and "pedantic".

[Texgal]

A round of Brazilians on me for the head honchos.

Doc, I'm suffering from the same affliction. Do you suppose it's a KTD (keyboardally transmitted disease)?

Well Dubya ain't the only one who can make up words!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Legal 'expert' on CBS news during the OJ freeway chase: "OJ is an enigma."
*realizes that may be misunderstood and begins to panic *
"Not that that's a BAD thing."

[Texgal]

How's tricks, Jabbette? Haven't missed you, babe.

[Wench Lizzy]

Well, I would spellczech if I red whut I wuz posting frist!

[igloo]

This reminds me of a Dilbert cartoon: PHB comes in to the meeting and announces, You know how I’ve always said that employees are our most valuable asset? Well, it turns out I was wrong. Money is our most valuable asset; employees are ninth.
DAVE BARRY FOR PRESIDENT
SCOTT ADAMS FOR VICE-PRESIDENT.

[pogo]

The spellczech is in the male!

People would think us software engineers would be able to type. They would be wrong.

[igloo]

Sorry for the missed puncuation. I'll toss up some that may be missing. ""'';:,,,..

[Guin]

I saw this in the news awhile ago. Those employers ARE a bunch of drunken lemurs. Hope the guy landed a new job somewhere else with a BIG pay raise.

[Just Ducky]

Yay, PirateBoy!

It goes without saying (but I'm saying it anyway) that The Drunken Lemurs WBAGNFARB.

[pogo]

The worst managers are the those who came from marketing or HR and are trying to manage technical people.

I was once given a performance review by a woman from Admin. During the review I asked if she had any idea what I did or how to do it. No.

[Wyo Cowboy]

I loved Office Space, for just that reason, pogo.

They nailed it.

(anybody seen my stapler?)

[Telecomdropout]

Pogo - you are so right !
I used to help out the marketing division, and go on sales calls, so when the customer asked a technical question, I could back up the sales pitch with the proper technical jargon to impress them. When it came time for my performance review, they made the sales manager give it. He gave me a lousy review, because he said if I had so much time to go on sales calls, I clearly wasn't doing my own job ! GRRRRRRR !!! The saving grace was, he got fired for not taking technical back-up on a big hospital sales call, and totally ruined his own career. Karma is a bad, bad thing when you diss the folks who help you !

[CJrun]

Whut, no discussion of the Pointy Ball Combines?

*swings off to drink with the lemurs*

[Mrs. Bickerson]

Sober lemurs are bad enough.

[Wyo Cowboy]

CJ, I don't know about you, but I'm watchin' the NFL network, even as we blog.

[Wally Ballou]

But why the Mobius strip?

[pogo]

Wally - what goes around comes around?

See y'all. Friday beer calling.

[Just Ducky]

Posting humor out in the world can be quite dangerous.

Remember?

[Wyo Cowboy]

Yes, Ducky, I remember. Idiocy reigns supreme.

[Just Ducky]

Wyo, I'm afraid you're right. We need a drink. Has anyone opened the blogbar yet?

[daisymae]

Snork @ Annie's 'CBS reporter'

Diva - my only complaint is when they shoot me in the foot by mistake

[CJrun]

BlogBar's open, but you'll have to help yourselves; I have a grilling task ahead of me.

[Merri Lee]

pogo - fill me in on the "pedantic" story, please.

[Just Ducky]

Oh, give me a space
In a happy workplace
Where the people enjoy what they do
Where humor’s preferred
No one’s wrath is incurred
And the bosses can share a laugh, too.

[Gadfly]

Blogbar is tempting, but i think i'll just stay home tonight.

[Texgal]

Ah, JD is singing about Fantasyland.

[Texgal]

Gad, you party animal!

[Just Ducky]

I know, Texgal, but it never hurts to dream. Well, almost never. Usually.

Say, I'm in Austin--where are you?

And *snork* @ Gadfly!

[crossgirl]

wyo, our nfl network is missing. seriously. not there.

[Texgal]

Houston.

[Meanie the Blue]

*Reflects on how often Judi gets fired*

Draw your own conclusions.

*SNORKs@ the Gadman*

[igloo]

Meanie, I don't know who has been fired more; Dagwood Bumstead or Judi.

[Rosie]

I have a solution to the python problem. Turn them into purses and use the proceeds towards the Marlin Stadium.

[CJrun]

The article neglects to mention that the pythons have to get past us, in Central Florida, long before they can get to Delaware. We'll send the skins back to Miami for them to make pretty shoes.

Ya'll want some snake-steaks, jes holler.

[Catbert]

I hope you people all have solid, up to date resumés.

[Doc Rick]

Great idea Rosie, except even with a new stadium the team owner will cry poverty and still stick Miami with a glorified minor league team. The upside, they will still win another World Series before the Cubs and Astros ever sniff another. *sigh*

P.S. THE CUBS AND CARDS SUCK! LOSERS!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[Wyo Cowboy]

CJ, I could use a new belt.

[Just Ducky]

Texgal, the girlduckling is in Houston at Rice University. She's not so fond of the humidity or traffic, but likes the school.

[Doc Rick]

I'll settle for boots CJ. Being a good Texan without a pair is kinda, almost sacrilegious.

[Siouxie]

Good evening, friends!

I sent this in today but since we're now talking about shoes...I think I'll share THIS tonight.

I'm such a sucker for cool shoes but I'm not sure I'll be able to stand on these.

[CTProf]

*Gets Siouxie some stilts*

Here... $20 and easier to walk on.

[Auntie "The Quill" M]

All I have to say is....ouch. I wear my fake Crocs to work every day because they don't hurt my feet. I have about 6 different colors. That's the extent of my shoe fashion.

[Doc Rick]

Looks more like a torture device than a pair of shoes. Besides, the regular pointy version high heels will always be the sexiest.

[kristie]

Souxie, those look absolutely painful!

Of course, my family has bad ankles to begin with, so I don't wear anything that doesn't have a wide heel.

That, and I'm already three inches taller than my husband. There's no need to tower over him...

[Siouxie]

Hey AuntieM!!! LTNS!! how ya been?

Prof, I'd rather have the stilts ;-P

[Just Ducky]

Souxie, it never ceases to amaze me how outrageous designers can be, and how willing the sheep fashionable folks are to embrace the latest outrageousness.

Howdy, Auntie! Good to see you. How you doin'?

[Siouxie]

Ducky...no sh!t!! Can you imagine being drunken ..wearing those things?? I can and I'd be falling on my culo all night. No thanks!

[Auntie "The Quill" M]

Oy! The busy time of year is upon me. Spring is really nuts. Musical season is here. Rehearsals and upcoming standardized testing and general craziness have started. I'm trying to catch up on the blog in the evenings, but I can barely read everything, let alone post.

Oh, and I got a kitty. So life is fairly decent. How is everyone else?

[Just Ducky]

Siouxie, I had enough trouble wearing platform shoes when they first were popular, back in high school. The ones I wore were a size too big, because I couldn't find any smaller, and that didn't help my balance any. And those shoes actually had heels.

Auntie, tell us about your kitty!

[Siouxie]

Auntie, OY indeed! I hear ya. I'm in the middle of "tax season" and I've been able to blog so far...not sure about the upcoming weeks. Adding to that, my youngest is graduating so we've been visiting colleges and waiting around to see where she'll end up...etc. FUN FUN FUN!

*runs to the blog bar..jumps...misses..falls on her culo*

*gets back up*

I'm OK! who's drinking tonight??

[Auntie "The Quill" M]

She's a beautiful chocolate-point (I think) Siamese who belonged to my sister. I finally wore down my husband enough to take her. The cat, not my sister.

The poor thing (the cat) was pretty miserable surrounded by 4 other cats, 7 dogs, 2 children, and my crazy sister. She needed to be the only animal in the house. She's loving the peace and quiet in the house. I plan to blog about her, but she keeps sitting on me and I get distracted and forget to go to the computer. I'll get pics out on my blog this weekend.

[Doc Rick]

Slide my a beer of your choice Siouxie. Any old brand will do...ok, with a few exceptions. Olympia comes to mind.

[Auntie M]

I guess I can drop my mob name now.

I'll take a White Russian, as usual. If you bought those shoes, Siouxie, you'd need to hire a man or two to walk behind you and support your heels!

[Wyo Cowboy]

I never drink on Frida *hic* um, I nev *hic*

ummm. I never drink on Friday Nig *hic* *urp*

oh, hell, pass me another beer.

[Doc Rick]

"me" not "my" damnit! Maybe I don't need another beer? Nah, I'm ok. I'm not driving tonight.

[Just Ducky]

Siouxie, got any mojitos? Margaritas?

Rick, good choice.

Wyooooooooooo!

[Wyo Cowboy]

I'm not celebratin' or anything. Just found out that my first grandson is gonna be delivered by C section at 16:30 hours, Mountain time, of course, on 31 March.

this round's on me.

[Wyo Cowboy]

I already bought him a saddle.

[Siouxie]

OK!

*mixes up a batch of Mojitos for Ducky and AuntieM*

*slides over a cold Grolsch to the Rickmeister and Wyo*

DRINK UP!

*daintily sips on her vino*

[jugheaded]

is there a bartender around here?

[Siouxie]

GrandPa WYOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Tell 'em to deliver that kid the day before so he can share Kristen's bday!

[Siouxie]

whatcha drinkin' jughead?? Wyo's buying.

*ahem*

bartendress

[jugheaded]

evening Siouxie

[jugheaded]

pardon my gaff. Jameson's neat please. How are ya?

[Just Ducky]

Woo-hoo, Wyo! How exciting! Watch out, though--the little Wyo might decide to make a surprise arrival. The girlduckling was scheduled to be delivered by C-section, and she decided to make her debut two days early in a raging thunderstorm.

Ahh, memories.

*Downs mojito* Thanks, Siouxie!

[CJrun]

Wyo, if one of those silly pythons makes it up here, the belt is yours, plus a leash for the grandkid.

I let rattlers go, and the other locals, but the rest of the South isn't Miami and will be happy to try new things on the BBQ. Pythons won't get to Delaware by ground.

[Siouxie]

Evening, jug!

*pours a Jameson's (neatly, of course) and slides it over*

[Doc Rick]

Ducky, we were scheduled to have my son induced and when we showed up the morning we had scheduled, he decided not to wait. Took 2 hours from check in to birth. Singlehandedly the greatest day of my life. Ok, it's tied with the Astros getting to the World Series but still a momentous occasion. ;)

[Siouxie]

*refills Ducky's Mojito*

*slides a cold one over to CJ*

[jugheaded]

Thank you ma'am. Ok, so it looks like we have a grandpa in waiting; boots; saddles and now whiskey. Have I somehow ended up in a Texas honky tonk?

[Just Ducky]

Rick, nice to see you have your priorities straight. ;-)

jugheaded, there are worse places to be.

Thanks, Siouxie!

[Siouxie]

More like an international Blogy Tonk, jug. We come from all over the place. Although, I am proud to say that I am the only Cubana here.

In case ya'll don't know, jugheaded is a friend of Stevie's. So...be kind.

[Just Ducky]

jugheaded, you have my sympathy glad to have you here!

I have to flap away for a bit, y'all, but I'll try to be back later.

[CTProf]

No fair, I can't drink for another hour and a half.

[Cheryl Howard]

WYO! Congrats my friend! Or should I say... grandpa?!
:)

Sio--one of the great pleasures of heels is in fact the heel itself. So should a girl find herself in the presence of say, a heel--one well placed stiletto heel into the top of aforementioned heels' foot will indisputably end all further hassling.

[jugheaded]

I know Ducky, although having grown up in the Lone Star state, honky tonks on a Friday or Saturday night are not a bad way to spend your time.

Did I see that you have a daughter at Rice? You must be proud, it takes some smarts to get in there.

[jugheaded]

Note to self: check Cheryl's foot wear before acting like a heel

[Cheryl Howard]

No worries Jug. Tonight I am amongst friend and I'm relaxing in a fleece lined Croc. They aren't pretty but they sure are cozy!

[Just Ducky]

*pauses*

*Brag Alert*

Yes, jugheaded, the girlduckling is getting her PhD in planetary geology at Rice. She found out today that she passed her big honking test that they give to 1st year grad students. If she didn't pass, apparently Rice could show her the door. So we were all very happy.

*flaps away for a bit*

[jugheaded]

well that's a relief. I would hate to have my boots stomped on. Not that I plan on acting like a heel.

[Doc Rick]

Jug, Cheryl's ok but beware Siouxie and the machete. Oh, and the hot wax as well.

[jugheaded]

awesome Ducky. Congratulations. I can see where that would make your buttons burst

[CJrun]

Cheryl talks a good game, but she heats the house with Great Danes. Sorry jughead, but we won't believe you're a friend of Stevie's unless you post a pic of both of you.