A GOOD THING TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD

Step 1: Call a meeting with people you don't know.

Step 2: Shake hands with each of them in a firm but friendly fashion as you introduce yourself.

Step 3: Sit down, and announce that you are leaving the door open because you "have this terrible cold" and you need the air to circulate.

Additional Steps (recommended):

Blow your nose frequently throughout the meeting.

Be sure there are no breaks or pauses in the flow of the meeting, so as not to give anyone the opportunity to a) visit the bathroom to wash their hands or b) dig out the germ-killing hand stuff in their purse.

When they tell you a week later they are unable to attend the follow-up meeting because they have a cold, give them advice about which treatments have worked the best for you because, coincidentally, you are just getting over a cold.

Comments

[SW]

What's it all about, Alfa?
Is it just that momentum you show?
What's it all about
When you let it out, Alfa
Or are we meant to brake more than we go?

[igloo]

Mot,
I had a friend in college, late '60's who had a really odd car; a Daimler SP250. British made (despite the Daimler moniker) with 2.5 litre hemi engine. I never saw any like it before or after. Must be worth a wad of cash now.

[Mot the Hoople]

Daimler was the super luxury up-market Jaguar. It was all walnut panelling and leather inside.

[slyeyes]

He had a hemi?

[Mot the Hoople]

Hemi comes from hemisherical combustion chambers and has been a feature on performance engines for some years. The term in the US has come to mean a Chrysler V8 engine that's been breathed on a bit.

[slyeyes]

I actually knew that; just wanted to make fun of the commercial in a not very successful way.

[daisymae]

sly - that commercial is hilarious - I love the one where he sets himself on fire.

[Mot the Hoople]

Sorry sly, sometimes I just cannot stop myself from lecturing. Not having seen the commercial I've no idea what you're talkiing about.

[Doc Rick]

Mot, the commercial sly was talking about was a part of a campaign Dodge ran a few years back. This was the very first ad in the series. Turns out that it launched the comedy career of the guy in the hot rod's passenger seat. He won the most recent season of "Last Comic Standing" on NBC.

[slyeyes]

No problem, Mot.

Here are some of the hemi commercials.

*crosses fingers that this works*

[Kristie]

My first car was a 1976 Ford Mustang II. It was yellow and black and sat on the ground. The clutch was so bad that I had to keep my right foot on the brake and gas to keep the idle up enough so it wouldn't die. The V8 sounded HOT, though. Woke up the entire neighborhood when I started her up in the morning.

An elderly man took a right on red in his Oldsmobile boat and t-boned me in the intersection which totaled my car.

After that, I had to drive my parent's Ford Custom 400. I started it with a screwdriver, and after a few times leaving the keys in the car and bringing the screwdriver in to work with me, I opened the car with the screwdriver too by jamming it between the window and the gasket and levering up the mushroom shaped door locks.

This is what happens when your father is a mechanic.

[Kristie]

P.S. How did we get from "things to do when you have a cold" to "memories of my first car"?

Oh well. My 3rd car was a 1981 Subaru GL that had problems with the clutch cable. The first six months I had it, I had to replace the cable three times. My dad borrowed it one snowy day and got rear ended by a truck. Broke the drivers seat, folded the steering wheel, and crushed the hatch. But my dad, being the mechanic, replaced the seat and steering wheel. Opening the hatch fixed 90% of the damage to that. We drove it for another three years.

From then on, my dad told everyone that Subaru must make their cars out of recycled tank parts.

[Mot the Hoople]

OK, picture a lightbulb going on. The new Jeep Grand Cherokee and Commander top models are now advertised as having Hemi engines over here.

[Doc Rick]

Ok, now I'm pissed. I asked my wife if I could bid on this on Ebay, but she won't let me. So what if it's a bit pricey, happiness is all that matters right?

Posted by: | 10:39 PM on February 8, 2008

Guilty as charged Kristie.

[Doc Rick]

I meant it as an aside conversation, but it kinda got legs and took off on it's own. Plus it kept Eleanor from beating me about the head with a machete over some snarky lawyer jokes I'd made. BTW, I'm sorry El! I love lawyers. Especially when they are defending me which comes around every 5 years or so.

[Mot the Hoople]

Don't apologise Doc, anytime's a good time to talk cars. Same goes for sport and chicks.

[Doc Rick]

Mot, you couldn't be more correct. While I'm no expert on cars or women, I find both to be very interesting topics of conversation. Especially the lovely lasses here on the blog. Rare is it that you find a place with so many women that are as intellectual as they are beautiful. We've got it good in here. Oh, and I really want to figure out rugby so I don't feel like such an ugly American with our international correspondents. Heck, I may even start paying attention to curling for our Canuck friends.

[Eleanor]

I have a Beemer now too, Mot, and I can't imagine ever driving anything else. And I had an older Mercedes at one point and I loved my Acura Legend, but this is the best car ever.

Doc, over on the message board I told bbescuela who is also an atty that we were being picked on here. His comment was, yeah, until they need us and then they grovel. lol

[Doc Rick]

As always, all in good fun El. And I wasn't kidding about needing a lawyer every 5 years. I only celebrate birthdays every 5 years and the past 3 times have involved law enforcement in one way or another. Next year is the Big 40 so I might have the wife trying to track you down this time next year. *and no, none of the incidents involved me behind the wheel impaired. "domestic" issues involving invited guests in all 3 instances*

[jugheaded]

What's it all about, Alfa?
==============================
Is this who I think it is?

[Eleanor]

We don't know, jug. Who do you think it is?

I know you were just kidding around, Doc. But some people make mean spirited lawyer jokes and are not kidding. So we, as a group, are a little bit on the defensive. :)

[CJrun]

OK Rick, I'll study skimpy bathing suits in honor of baligirl....

[jugheaded]

I come in peace Eleanor. I was wondering if that parody was the work of someone that I posted with on the old yahoo OE boards. Over there he was known as Lee, and that looked like his style of humor, hence the question

[Eleanor]

I didn't mean to sound hostile. If you're new here, welcome! :)

[jugheaded]

no worries, and thank you. It seems you have quite a merry band of miscreants over here.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Did somebody say....miscreant?

[Eleanor]

Are you screaming at me, Annie?

I'm bored. There's not much to do when you have a cold and a sore throat...

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sorry about sharing that cold with you, El. Hot green tea. Now. Gargle if you can stand it. It cost me my night out last night and time's a wastin'. I ain't gettin' any uglier.

[Meanie the Blue]

Hey! Who you calling merry?!

[Siouxie]

Hey!! Who you calling bland???

oh...band...nevermind...

El, Annie...I had that same cold/sore throat thing a few weeks ago..lots of coughing. I survived.

[DeskDiva]

Very possibly bronchitis if there's lots of rough coughing. Get thee to a doc and get some steroids. They were a BIG help to me.

[baligurl]

Hey, CJ dedicated a study to me- WooHoo! How didja know I was packing to go diving in Coz next week? Dang, you're good!

Hey, Sioux!

[jugheaded]

would reprobates have been more approprite?

[DeskDiva]

Welcome, jugheaded! Have you been blurking a while?

[SW]

Sxi, if I had a cold sore, I wouldn't be posting about it.

(Of course it's me, jugheaded; didn't I tell you I post as SW here? Hahahahaha)

[jugheaded]

I couldn't remember if you said SW or Stevie (or both). I think I will blame my brain cramp on the snow, cold and Cleveland

[jugheaded]

DD-SW told some of us about this site last week.

[Siouxie]

Stevie?? so this is the friend you were talking about the other night??

*waves HI! and welcomes you again*

I'm Stevie's BCFF (best Cuban friend forever)

[Siouxie]

Sooooooooo Stevie's name is Lee???

I'm so confused.

[SW]

If you want to be more confused, jugheaded sometimes goes by CJ, at least elsewhere. I think he's already figured out we have our own resident cj here. I hope.

[Siouxie]

OY! You guys need to be more unique (not eunuch);-P

[jugheaded]

Hi Siouxie, its nice to meet you. Thanks for the warm welcome

And yes Stevie, I did figure out there was a resident CJ here.