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January 27, 2008

WE ALL NEED SOME, FROM TIME TO TIME

Butt Glue

This would of course also be a good name for a rock band.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Comments

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How strong is this adhesive? Can one glue a butt in such a way as to hinder its intended function? If you'll excuse me, I need to go find caffeine.

this would be the opposite of @nal lube?

I think we just found the perfect gift for Mud.

"Queens Choice?"

Phillip, since when have we started endorsements? I told you to leave my butt out of this!!

Your Majesty,
Will all respect, but BUTT OUT!

*respectfully exchanges "ll" with "th" for his majesty*

I had no idea this went on at the pageants. Bet it hurts to take it off....

If they changed the swimsuit competition into a thong competition, this stuff would no longer be necessary. Or, it would have to be used in entirely different ways.

El, nothing surprises me about beauty pageants anymore. They use Preparation H for bags under the eyes and Vaseline on their teeth. They actually seem kind of obsessed with all things "butt".

snork @ Lairbo

They use Preparation H for bags under the eyes

Posted by: AuntieM | 10:58 AM on January 27, 2008

Auntie...does it work?

For those days when your @ss is draggin'. Or your about to read something funny and you don't want to Laugh Your ....

daisy--if I'm ever cute, brainless, and emaciated enough to be in a beauty pageant, I'll let you know. I've never tried it, but I've heard that it works.

Ooh, creative uses there, CJ! Maybe my hubby could use some for those long days at work!

Yeah it hurts. It's like liquid duct tape. But having your buttcrack slippage video posted on youtube hurts a whole lot more.

Next on Dateline:

America's latest addiction - teens sniffing butt glue.

Good morning everyone.

REgarding Prep H for eye puffiness, from Straightdope.com

A spokesperson for Whitehall-Robins, maker of Preparation H, informed us that the product "helps shrink hemorrhoidal tissue and is not meant for the area around the eyes. There is no clinical evidence to support that it reduces eye puffiness." She said they get this question less frequently than they used to, perhaps because Prep H has been reformulated. One of the ingredients that supposedly reduced puffiness was "live yeast cell," but this is no longer part of the recipe.

and

But when my assistant Jane called a modeling agency to inquire, the rhymes-with-rich who answered the phone huffed that the Prep H rumor had been around for years and that it was merely a joke made at the expense of models and actresses. Sorry, lady, thought Jane. Sounds like you could stand a little Preparation H yourself.

Good morning, ifits.
*ponders how newscasters would keep a straight face while reporting on butt-glue-sniffing*

"...also known as the infamous 'butt spray'..."

Oh, now that's just gross.


sweep
The whole thing seems gross, ifits.


Better this way?

Someone needs to HELP!

ifits broke the blog.

Whew. That was traumatic. That took every html skill I had. Which is next to nothing.


does that help?

Will it fix this crack, finally?

NOPE

I sweep, therefore I am (not italic).

So ifits broke it, I fixed it, iggy broke it again then fixed it, and Meanie fixed it. I'm exhausted. I think I'll have to go back to bed.

Auntie,
I tried the Butt Spray the first time, but I had pointed it in the wrong direction. The second time, I was able to glue the blog back to it's original state.

If what Annie says is correct, iggy, you might want to find some butt-solvent to get that spray off of whatever you hit the first time.

Does this butt make my glue look big?

No, your dress does that.
*scratches head*

I am glad I chose igloo for my nom de plume. I was suspicious of Ex GF's suggestion of buttgloo.

(I was curious what other products were available on that website.)

Found a product called 'SPANX'.

Celebrity endorsement? You betcha...

"I love Spanx, I love Spanx. I wear Spanx every single day. I've given up panties. I wear Spanx." ~Oprah Winfrey

TMI, Oprah. TMI.

They say it (SPANX) "eliminates VPL."

Okay. I give up. I may regret this but, ladies, what's VPL?

It's girl-speak for "Visible Panty Lines". Do you regret it?

How could you say that, Auntie!? I knew I shouldn't have asked you.

*sobs uncontrollably, rails at how they just don't understand*

*takes snorkbreak for igloo, resumes sobbery*

There, there, Meanie. Have a cupcake. Food makes everything better. Then go watch Miss Congeniality.

Order your can today for only $15.99

Somewhat unfortunate choice of words...unless one already has a "can", who needs the glue?

VPL = visible panty line -

AuntieM - Thank you. I learned something new today; not sure what I'll do with it though. I will, however, somehow work it into a sentence at least once this week.

my can will cost you more than $15.95

The Firm Grip page at Cramer, who also can sell you a Cold Shoulder wrap.

Jazzz - why? Is there tax in Arkansas?

LOL Annie! butt wait....if you act now....


When I wear Butt Gloo-oo-oo-oo oo-oo-oooo,
Undies don't do Cra-aa-aa-aa aa-aa-aack.

Why have all the women of the world decided that VPL is a bad thing? As a guy of the male gender I rather like them. It helps the, um, imagination. I could sure use some of that butt glue on my office chair sometimes, though.

I've always wondered about the VPL thing, too. Do you want people to think you aren't wearing underwear? How is that better?

I'd say something, butt I don't want anyone thinking about my panties.
....was that out loud?

Please, Annie. I'm sure the gentlemen would LOVE to hear all about your panties! Don't deprive them.

Of course, everyone is thinking about your panties now.
*goes to wash brain with soap*

Will this product glue children's butts to their seat? If so, I want a CASE!

Here's where I get confused about the VPL; I've known young women who wear thongs so they don't have VPL; BUTT, then wear low rise slacks which gives them a "whale tail" when they lean forward.


So..... huh?

Of course, with the whale tail, not too many guys are going to notice whether or not they have VPL. Or care.

Hey, Med. I'm catching up on your blog. Interesting stuff!

slyeyes--I've seen some really appalling "whale tails" in my time. Personally, I'd rather that people know that I wear undies than think I don't do laundry. Or sumthin'. Also, given my current weight, I don't want to invite comparisons to whales.

Similar precautions are often taken by contestants wearing skimpier swimsuits, to prevent rampart slippage (which come to think of it WBAGNFARB). Probably not in the same sort of contests discussed here, though. Just thought you'd like to know.

"If we don't win your case, you don't owe us BUTT
ia that what you mean, Med?

that would be is

And a "

I suck

This is why they play loud music in strip clubs. To cover the sound that stuff makes being ripped from the skin. That also explains why strippers are so tough.
Siouxie told me.

Flippers are rough? Sorry Annie, I can't hear you, it's loud in here.

Jazzz is at that Sea World strip club again. Sheesh. No wonder his punctuation is atrocious.

Gene Weingarten over at the Wash.Post says men like VPLs but women want a smooth look. Because if you're not super thin, your VPL can squeeze and then you have a bump sort of and that's' not attractive.


psssst, Jazzzz,, Tiger is 20 under!!!!

I'm glued to the tourney, El......with Butt Paste™

For the Ladies, Igloo's solution to the heartbreak of VPL!

For the Ladies, Igloo's solution to the heartbreak of VPL!

On the VPL subject, Auntie, how might Britney benefit from buying a can of the stuff when she keeps forgetting to wear panties in public anyway? Looks like they lost a customer there...

(cream - "strange brew")

strange glue - so nothing will slide off you!

My daughter is an Irish dancer. They use this

http://www.celticottage.com/products/dance/adhesive.jpg

to hold up their poodle socks when dancing.

(Sorry for not linking it right. I have a new laptop and all my cheat notes are on my other pc.)

Cat R's link

igloo, I've always wanted a set of coveralls. Is that what they're called??

psst Jazzzz, me too with my new laptop - yay! ooops, a bogey!

Those are overalls, El. Or as we say in Arkansas, overHauls. Must have Big Smith™ brand. They are the Gucci of overalls

Thanks, igloo. Really.

Did Tiger need "put glue?"

erm, wwell that were a bit premature so to speak...

you'd hitch up your backside but camera's on you
if there's a slide down behind then your contest's
through
so what'cha gonna do?
strange glue- so nothing will slide off you!

now your ramparts are perky and under control
nothing could possibly thwart your goal
but whoa!
they ask you questions, now i'm told!
strange glue - lets a cheat sheet take hold!

Did Paris need slut glue?

http://www.crackcreme.com/?gclid=CPr47_O-l5ECFR0-IgodVCloGQ

need a little help with the linky, butt this is for after the show

Did Rocky the Squirrel need nut glue?

They need to expend their market.

Besides plumbers, I'm thinking this might be a cure for the unsightly saggy britches phenomena.

Jazzzz'z link
Manilow Free Zone.
Honest.

now I wonder if Zim's™ comes from cracks, or is for cracks?

@ 5:39, Elanor said, "igloo, I've always wanted a set of coveralls. Is that what they're called??

No ma'am. Those are overalls. Coveralls are more of a jumpsuit kinda thing.

Well, wasn't that pic a one piece thing?

1) Prep H works GREAT for the eye bags. We all used it in college and it DOES work.

2) Spanx is just the modern version of a girdle. Can't breathe, can't move, just holds in the flab. (Don't ask me how I know this.)

OMG, Jazzzz, I went to make a late lunch and came back and now he's only 18 under!!! Should we worry? And it's raining again, and cold....

Go Tiger!

Go Tiger!

El - coveralls, at least the ones I've owned, have collars, sleeves, etc.

Ya mean there are other skin treatments than this?

Not to worry, El, Tiger wins! He gained a stroke at the end and was 19 under, a mere 8 strokes ahead of the poor sap golfer who came in second.

62 wins in 11 years. How awesome is that?

My butt has a leak.
I wonder if this would help?

Iggy, I've got overalls like that. Unfortunately, someone insisted I wear a shirt, too.
Riders use no-slip spray to stay on their horses. If they're wusses and can't ride. ;)

Annie - I hate it when I see riders using Saddl-tite at shows. I sniff and roll my eyes. Too lazy to actually use their legs!

OT/We've got a severe thunderstorm watch here in Socal. I guess that's weather, right? Had a teeny tornado the other day that tore the roof off the Naval Base. Drama, drama, drama....

Guin- how do they adjust their seat? I would think if you're stuck in one spot, you can't manouver well. I'm constantly shifting my weight in my knees. No way could I use that stuff.

This product reminded me of "sock touch" in Japan. I lived there about 6 years ago, and the school-girl fashion at the time was to buy really loose socks and glue the edges to your calves using a product called "sock touch", so as to make the loose socks form bags of material around your ankles. Apparently, girls thought it made their legs look thinner. I thought it made them look silly, but that's just me. You can see the effect at: http://www.japan-101.com/culture/loose_socks.htm.

Regarding Prep H and its effect on bags under the eyes....yes, I can personally affirm that it does, indeed, work pretty well.

Amanda's linky. No, igloo - there is NO Manilow here! *belatedly SMACKS igloo*

Amanda - when I was in high school about 20 years ago, our Japanese friend bought sock glue for me. It was applied like a rollon deodorant. I wish I could buy it so that when I wear trouser socks I don't have to keep pulling them up!

Annie - you use Saddl-tite on the insides of your boots, to keep your lower leg in position. I've really never understood it either - what if you need to move your leg back for a kick or something?

Do you know about the Chronicle of the Horse forums? It's a great board with all sorts of different horsey people - English/Western/Dressage, etc. I spend quite a bit of time there!

www.chronicleforums.com/forum

Diva,
Not sure what a "trouser sock" is. Is it related to a "trouser snake"?
Just asking.

Wow! I don't need a new butt - I can just fix the crack in this one!

*belated smack to iggy for BM link*
Trouser socks are related to Lamb Chop. Ladies don't wear trouser snakes; men just wish we did.

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