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January 31, 2008
UMMM.... BECAUSE IT ITCHES?
(Thanks to MissV)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 05:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (91)
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
In Miami, we call this good citizenship.
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 05:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (19)
WASN'T THIS A SHERLOCK HOLMES MYSTERY?
(Thanks to Onterrible)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 05:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)
GET THE FACTS!
(Thanks to Scott Sonnier)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 05:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)
IT'S A PROBLEM THAT AFFECTS US ALL
(Thanks to Joshua Evans)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (93)
ATTENTION, GUYS
You need this.
(Thanks to Drew Harchick)
Update: Also this.
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (26)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
(Thanks to Steve Williams, not to be confused with any of the 386 other Steves)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (22)
AND THE SO-CALLED "FEDERAL GOVERNMENT" DOES NOTHING
For '24' fans, the strike's hours drag on
(Thanks to Dock Rick, who notes that, incredibly, this blog is not mentioned)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:21 AM in 24 | Permalink | Comments (16)
RELIGIOUS ISSUE OF THE DAY SO FAR
Naked Man Ad Riles Hub Catholics
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says, "If nuns looked like this, I would have gone to parochial school.")
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
YUM
(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
THIS GUY IS DEAD
(Thanks to Doc Rick)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
TODAY'S JAPANESE WEIRDNESS QUIRKINESS UPDATE
Man called directory assistance 10,000 times
Key Quote: "I would go into ecstasy when a lady scolded me."
(Also thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
SAN CARLOS, FLORIDA
Keeping the World Safe from Recyclers
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 09:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
ANOTHER GOOD THING ABOUT GUYS
(Thanks to DavCat and Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 08:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
ATTENTION ALL MAINE UNITS
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 08:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)
HOW DID HE GET PAST THE TASER?
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 08:03 AM in 24 | Permalink | Comments (15)
EXCELLENT NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 08:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
CSI: MIAMI
Three armed bandits stole 11 potentially prize-winning pit bulls after tying up their owner and his friends during a midday robbery in West Park on Wednesday.
This led neighbors to ask one question: They only took 11?
There had to be more, they thought.
Twenty, 30, maybe 101.
And a snake.
Posted by Dave on January 31, 2008 at 08:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
January 30, 2008
PRESIDENTIAL STUMPDATE
Posted by judi on January 30, 2008 at 05:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (41)
LIFE IN SOUTH FLORIDA
Posted by judi on January 30, 2008 at 05:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)
SCIENCE BREAKTHROUGH OF THE DAY
Key quote: "This is a major milestone in the new field of gecko-inspired adhesives."
(Thanks to Chris Lawson)
Posted by judi on January 30, 2008 at 03:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (25)
BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME ON THEM NOW
(Thanks to ShadoKatmandu)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 03:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
MISSING THE POINT 101
Brought to you by Carlsberg Brewing Company
(Thanks to Mike Campbell)
Posted by judi on January 30, 2008 at 03:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (26)
CAMPAIGN STRUMPDATE FROM THE S.B.
We interrupt this blog to remind all voters to visit the campaign store for your Dave Barry for President clocks¹ and other fine campaign products. And of course, surging presidential juggernaut bumper stickers are cluttering up the office also available, so place your order before we throw them out any time.
¹As featured in the Official Campaign Video
Posted by judi on January 30, 2008 at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (83)
HAMILTON CITY, CALIF.
Keeping the World Safe from Minor Bicycle-Safety Infractions
(Thanks to Siouxie and Doc Rick)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (29)
YOU ARE NOW FREE TO WET YOUR PANTS
The co-pilot on a trans-Atlantic flight screams for God.
(Thanks to Expat_Canuck)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 09:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (30)
DUUUUDE
(Thanks to Linda)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 09:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
SPEAKING OF GOOD EATING, NOT TO MENTION GOOD NAMES FOR ROCK BANDS
(Thanks to ubetcha)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 09:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
YUM
Customs officials seize hundreds of headless rats destined for London restaurants
Keu Quote: The grisly discovery was made by customs officials as they made a routine inspection of a shipment of synthetic hair at the docks.
(Thanks to Justin Barber)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 09:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
WE WANT TO DO THIS EVERY TIME WE HEAR COPACABANA
Man sets station on fire over playlist
(Thanks, yet again, to Siouxie)
(Also Glenn in Mendo)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 08:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
CREEPING FASCISM IN SWEETWATER, TENN.
Now they're saying a woman can't carry a crowbar in her pants.
("Crowbar in Her Pants" would be an excellent name for a rock band,)
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 08:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
ATTENTION, LADIES
(Thanks to Siouxie and we think somebody else but we can't figure out who)
(OK, we found it: Matt Filar)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 08:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
MOST-ACCURATE BICYCLE BRAND NAME OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to diverdowndoc)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 08:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
A FLORIDA DRIVER'S -- AND PILOT'S -- LICENSE WILL BE AWARDED
...to this motorist.
(Thanks to Heather and Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 30, 2008 at 08:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
January 29, 2008
ATTENTION, THE BLOG, SIR
Posted by judi on January 29, 2008 at 11:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (28)
HEY, IT'S OK WITH US IF IT GETS RARER
Rare 3-Foot Spitting Earthworm Found in Legal Battle
(Thanks to jon harris, who notes that The Spitting Earthworms would be a good name for a rock band)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (91)
JAPANESE EDUCATOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Keli Minick)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
GEE, YOU THINK?
Holocaust-themed Carnival float causes strain
Key Quote: "Really, it makes no sense addressing this theme with drums and dancing girls."
(Thanks to Jeff Matthews)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
CONCERNED CITIZEN OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Padraig and MissV and Jim Gilboy)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)
ANOTHER BLOW STRUCK AGAINST BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS
Fears for safety prompt famous temple to halt bean-chucking ceremony
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
WOMEN OF AMPLITUDE, REJOICE
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)
MOO
(Thanks to Keli Minick)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 05:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
YUM
(Via Gizmodo)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 02:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (46)
ADVISORY
Assuming throngs of crazed admiring drunks supporters don't hoist The Blog upon their shoulders and tote him off to South Beach for a Voting Day Mojito, Dave will be chatting¹ with voters here at 1 p.m. today.
¹In the same way that televised debates may be considered chatting
Posted by judi on January 29, 2008 at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (39)
HOSPITAL ENTREE OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Remember the mouse head? Well this one is worse.
Key Quote: "The doctor insisted it was not chicken."
(Thanks to sjhaller)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 10:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (26)
THE POWER OF THE BLOG
I was wondering why I had a considerable spike in visitors to my website this weekend...now I know.
Just wondering, how did you come across our site and the now infamous "Butt Glue?"
Kim from The Queen's Choice - Morgantown WV
Dear Kim --Some guy named Matt Filar sent us the link. We have an enormous research staff.
Sincerely,
The Blog
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (40)
CREEPING FASCISM
Now they want to take away a man's fundamental human right to collect damages from his university because he was injured while horsing around in a kiddie pool filled with gelatin.
(Thanks to Josh)
Posted by Dave on January 29, 2008 at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAG UNDER PENALTY OF LAW
(Thanks to Greg Snow)Posted by judi on January 29, 2008 at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)
A FLORIDA DRIVER LICENSE
...is on it way to this lawn-care specialist.
(Thanks to many people)
Posted by judi on January 29, 2008 at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (25)
AH, THE SKEPTICISM OF THE "REALITY-TV" GENERATION
(Thanks to Siouxie and DavCat)
Posted by judi on January 29, 2008 at 09:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (19)
COFFEE, TEA OR ...
(Thanks to Russell Mc)
Posted by judi on January 29, 2008 at 09:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (38)
January 28, 2008
COMPLETE, ACCURATE, UP-TO-DATE COVERAGE OF THE FLORIDA PRIMARY
Posted by Dave on January 28, 2008 at 03:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (141)
IT'S SORT OF LIKE AN ENDOWED CHAIR
Key Quote: "Sometimes my best ideas have come to me while I'm in the bathroom."
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
Posted by Dave on January 28, 2008 at 02:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (45)
LIFE IN SOUTH FLORIDA
Posted by judi on January 28, 2008 at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (69)
TAPE-DELAYED STUMPDATE
(Thanks to Manny at WIOD)
Posted by judi on January 28, 2008 at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (48)
SPORTS UPDATE
It could be an exciting Super Bowl.
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 28, 2008 at 08:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (49)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Now they're using owls.
Key Quote: "Who's going to believe you've been whacked by a bird?"
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 28, 2008 at 07:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
WE RECOMMEND THAT YOU EAT IT RIGHT AT THE HOSPITAL
The Deep-Fried Cheese-Stuffed Burger from Bacon
(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig, who says, "Because Americans just aren't fat enough")
Posted by Dave on January 28, 2008 at 07:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (32)
January 27, 2008
WE ALL NEED SOME, FROM TIME TO TIME
This would of course also be a good name for a rock band.
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (130)
CRAIGSLIST
(Thanks to DavCat and Just Ducky)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
ADVISORY TO PEOPLE PLANNING TO BE ON THE PLANET EARTH DURING LATE FEBRUARY OR MARCH
(Thanks to Richard the Weasel-Hearted)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (19)
HOSPITAL FOOD
(Also thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
HE MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED
A murder suspect is arrested wearing non-threatening footwear.
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (23)
AND THEY ALL HAVE DRIVERS' LICENSES
Bats cause Florida traffic backups
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
GUY WITH WAY TOO MUCH SPARE TIME CONSUMER OF THE WEEK SO FAR
A retiree counts sheets of toilet paper.
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (23)
A GRATEFUL WORLD REJOICES
Least-Accurate Opening Line of the Week So Far: "After months of speculation and rumor..."
(Thanks to Just Ducky)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
SPEAKING OF INSANE INTERESTING INVENTONS...
Check out the Bog Horn.
(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
YUM
How about an exhaust burger?
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
STRONG NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Jan Berry)
Posted by Dave on January 27, 2008 at 09:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
January 26, 2008
THE CAMPAIGN JUGGERNAUT
Posted by Dave on January 26, 2008 at 10:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (36)
WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE FLORIDA PRIMARY?
Posted by Dave on January 26, 2008 at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (106)
January 25, 2008
CREEPING FASCISM
Now they want to take away a man's castle.
(Thanks to Eric Kerstetter)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 05:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (52)
INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL WAS INVOLVED
Chess game nearly turns tragic
(Thanks to jon harris)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 02:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (39)
FASCISM IN THE SCHOOLS
Now they're trying to force the teachers to ... teach.
Key quote: "We went probably a month and never saw one stick of homework," the Luther student said.
(Thanks to Phil)
Posted by judi on January 25, 2008 at 02:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)
AND GOD SAID...
(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr, who needs a handbasket, and Chuck Cody)
Posted by judi on January 25, 2008 at 01:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (47)
BREAKING UPDATE ON NA HOON-A, THE ALLEGED PANTS-DROPPING MANHOOD-REVEALING SOUTH KOREAN POP SINGER
Turns out that Na Hoon-a does NOT, in fact, prove his point.
(Thanks to Danny)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)
SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT LOCAL-TV-NEWS REPORTING
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (21)
SOUTH KOREAN MUSIC UPDATE
(Thanks to Steve Haller, who states, "For God's sake, don;t give Barry Manilow any ideas!")
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 10:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE LUNCHEON OF THE MONTH SO FAR
Key Quote: As Thane Maynard, executive director of the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens, flipped Cruncher, a two-foot alligator onto his back for a demonstration, the reptile shot an arc of urine into the air, hitting one of the guests.
(Thanks to W. von Papineau)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
A TERRORIST THREAT, AND A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
WE THINK WE SAW THIS MOVIE IN THE FIFTIES
Lewiston vs. The Blob
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (22)
FREEDOM OF SPEECH
(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter and ads and weaselboy)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
A GREAT IDEA FROM -- WE ADMIT IT -- FRANCE
Wine over the Internet via your USB port!
(Thanks to B Coats)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Now they're using lettuce frogs.
(Thanks to W. von Papineau and Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
AS LONG AS THE SPEED-DIAL IS SET FOR PIZZA DELIVERY, THIS SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM
Women leave town and children in the hands of men
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)
CALLING ALL OSAKA UNITS
And we mean all Osaka units.
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
CRIME IN CLEARWATER
It's completely out of control.
(Thanks to JEC666)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'LL LEGALIZE DANCING
Bill Would End Virginia's Sangria Ban
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 25, 2008 at 09:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
January 24, 2008
HALLELUJAH III
Posted by judi on January 24, 2008 at 06:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (53)
NAMES IN THE NEWS
Alan Johnson, the Health Secretary, and Ed Balls, the Secretary of State for Children
(Thanks to Beth Armogida)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (85)
DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK SO FAR
It's a good thing she got a head start on reading the Want Ads.
(Thanks to Clean Hands)
Posted by judi on January 24, 2008 at 01:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (19)
HARD TO IMAGINE ANYTHING GOING WRONG
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (48)
STUMP-DATE, IF YOU WILL
(Radio, about 11:45)
Posted by judi on January 24, 2008 at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
UPDATE ON NON-ROCKET-SCIENTIST AUSTRALIAN PARTY DUDE
(Thanks to AmerinParis)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (29)
WE HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FROM TURKMENISTAN
The good news is, they have lifted the ban on circuses.
(Thanks to RussellMc)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
THIS JUST IN FROM WEST FRANKFORT
Turns out it's not a nudist colony.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (19)
WHOOPS
(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
UPDATE ON JAPANESE ASTRONAUTS RUNNING OUT OF EXPERIMENTS TO PERFORM IN SPACE
First we had this; now, this. It is only a matter of time before we get to this.
(Thanks to Jeff Matthews)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)
ADVISORY TO CONSUMERS IN THE MARKET FOR A SMALL SMILING FACE
Check the Customer Reviews first.
Key Quote: "The vacuum cleaner started lactating."
(Thanks to Timothy Hunt)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
HUMOR IMPAIRMENT
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (39)
OINK
Three Little Pigs 'too offensive'
(Thanks to many people)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (25)
THIS PROBABLY ALREADY IS THE NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Siouxie and DavCat and Jeff Meyerson and Rob Johnson and AmerinParis)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (27)
HE'S UP FOR ELECTION
Tory MP takes 'herbal Viagra' on live TV
(Also thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
HEIST OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
ROOM SERVICE
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
BREAKING SNAKE REPORT FROM THE EVERGLADES
A group of guys handle a problem:
Key Excerpt: The four responders then discussed their options. Snow reported that there had been several published articles about the successful use of tasers to loosen the tight grip of constricting snakes, so that was tried. Unfortunately, it resulted in the python contracting and excreting bodily fluids all over the responders. They then decided to disassemble parts of the Explorer’s undercarriage in order to get to the python’s head, which was then covered with duct tape.
(Thanks to Rob Tooker)
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
IN OTHER SNAKE-RELATED NEWS
We don't want to know what they do with their genitals.
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
ADVUISORY TO CABLE THIEVES
Posted by Dave on January 24, 2008 at 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
January 23, 2008
DICK HARPOOTLIAN UPDATE
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 05:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (107)
HIGHER EDUCATION
(Thanks to Janice Tibbetts)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 04:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (19)
HONESTY
It may work in politics, but the TSA frowns on it.
(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)
Posted by judi on January 23, 2008 at 04:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)
ANOTHER GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
Put your hands together for Trojan Dwarf!
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by judi on January 23, 2008 at 02:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (26)
IS THIS WHAT THEY MEAN BY SPENDING TIME WITH THE FAMILY?
(Thanks to Joshua Evans)Posted by judi on January 23, 2008 at 01:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)
NEVER-BEFORE-ATTEMPTED CAMPAIGN TACTIC
Honesty
(Thanks to sjhaller and Cheryl Howard)
Posted by judi on January 23, 2008 at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
THE REAL MIRACLE
...is that it was not transported in a clear, resealable one-quart plastic baggie.
(Thanks to everyone)
Posted by judi on January 23, 2008 at 01:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)
HALLELUJAH
(Thanks to chicomathmom)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (37)
BULLETIN BULLETIN OHMIGOD URGENT BREAKING BULLETINNNNNNNNN
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (42)
ANOTHER REASON WHY WE LOVE GUYS
Guys are creative.
(Via Gizmodo)
Related Culinary-Weapon Item (which maybe we blogged already, but what the hell) here.
(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, who says, "I believe this is what Jack Bauer uses when he makes fried eggs.")
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 09:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (23)
UPDATE: SNAKES IN THE PLUMBING
(Thanks to W. von Papineau)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 08:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
WHY WE LOVE ENGLAND
(Thanks to DavCat and Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
WHY WE LOVE GUYS
(Thanks to Cheryl Howard and Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 23, 2008 at 08:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
January 22, 2008
START PREPARING NOW
International Scurvy Awareness Day
(Thanks to fivver)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 06:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (64)
YUM
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 06:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (24)
MOOOUUUURP
(Thanks to Jon Harris and Greg Snow)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 05:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
WE SAW THIS BAND IN THE SIXTIES
(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig)
(Alternative Headline Considered: "It's really good at Marco Polo")
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 05:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
MASS-MURDERING-WARLORD NAME OF THE MONTH SO FAR
(Thanks to Bryce Donovan)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (23)
STRUMPETING POSTDATE
From the musty, dusty attic of December 2007 comes a new old interview with The Blog.
Posted by judi on January 22, 2008 at 02:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)
WAS IT COVERED BY THE WARRANTY?
Sweet Pea the python gets stuck in the dashboard.
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (32)
A NUTRITIOUS MEAL, AND A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (37)
"PEOPLE WANT SOMETHING A BIT MORE REAL"
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (37)
WEST VIRGINIA
(Thanks to Joshua Evans)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION: RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS FOR EXPERIMENTS?
We report; you decide.
(Thanks to Joe Hicks)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
HEY, WE'VE SEEN WORSE ACTS
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
Alleged lovers allegedly prepare a McRatPoison Sandwich.
The Channel 18 News Team is taking the news quite well:
(Thanks to Corey Smith)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
BIG DEAL
The IRS does this to people all the time.
(Thanks to Joe Hicks)
Related Story: Sounds like this guy could work as a Japanese tax collector.
(Thanks to navigato)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER
Survey shows that Australians love to travel. Or vice versa.
(Thanks to many people)
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
OOSIK UPDATE
From funniegrrl: "During the credits of Antiques Roadshow
tonight, they showed a couple of teenagers (brother and sister I think)
who had an oosik which had carving on it. They described an oosik as a
"petrified whale bone." hmmm. They also said it had been appraised at
$1200."
Makes a person wonder what Walter is worth. Not that Walter is for sale. Walter is way too cool to sell.
Posted by Dave on January 22, 2008 at 08:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
January 21, 2008
HALLELUJAH (UPDATE)
(Thanks to Clarissa French)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 05:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (152)
WE WISH WE HAD THOUGHT OF IT
The tiger-urinated-in-my-ear excuse.
(Thanks to Gretchen DeJarnett)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 04:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
EMPLOYER OF THE MONTH SO FAR
(Thanks to Marilyn)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 04:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (17)
WE HAVE OUR OWN IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO OBSERVE IT
More here.
The celebrations might be a bit subdued in some areas.
(Thanks to Lori)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
POLITICS
We missed this item and are glad we did, as we would have felt duty bound to mention that other candidates have done the same thing.
Posted by judi on January 21, 2008 at 04:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
GOOD NEWS FOR THE LADIES
(Thanks to Matt Filar and CJrun, who we are probably not legally allowed to say would look good in one)
(We are sure Matt would too, but we haven't actually seen him)
UPDATE of some clothing styles CJrun and Matt would NOT look good in, thanks to Jeff Carrie's friend Jean
Posted by judi on January 21, 2008 at 04:31 PM in YELLOW FOR CAUTION | Permalink | Comments (12)
ATTENTION, LADIES
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (72)
WE WILL NEVER AGAIN COMPLAIN ABOUT PIGEONS
(Thanks to Philip Snyder)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 09:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
ATTENTION, SHOPPERS WISHING TO PURCHASE POORLY MADE WAX HEADS
Key Quote: “We sell the heads off from time to time, but what puzzles me is why people buy them and what they do with them."
(Thanks to sjhaller)
Test: Name the person portrayed in wax below:
How about this one?
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 09:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (46)
WHOOPS
"Dead" man wakes up at own wake
(Thanks to DavCat and Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 08:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)
SPORTS ANAYSIS OF THE WEEKEND SO FAR
Plummeting temperatures mean frozen balls
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 08:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
POSSIBLE SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR FABIO
(Thanks to Kibby F5)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 08:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
AND THE SO-CALLED "MAJOR" PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES REMAIN SILENT
Scots ask US to lift haggis ban
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
Posted by Dave on January 21, 2008 at 08:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (19)
January 20, 2008
WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG...
...to bring you music news from South Florida: The s.b. made the fatal mistake of "camping" last night and her tent was swept away by a hurricane. Yesterday, it was hot and sunny, but that was yesterday.¹
p.s. By the encore, the flipvid was just too tired to go on.
¹Sorry.
Posted by judi on January 20, 2008 at 02:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (178)
SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 12:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)
USED COUCH OF THE DAY SO FAR
(Thanks to Julieta Alvarado and Leetie of the message board)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (93)
MAYBE HE WANTED A NARROWER STANCE
Candidate's photo puts his head on skinnier body
(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
ADVISORY TO CRIMINALS:
If you're going to burgle a 53-year-old woman's home, make sure she isn't a marathon runner with a black belt in martial arts.
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
SHE WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT
Sister Attacks Sister with Fake Leg
(Also thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
THERE IS NOTHING LOWER
...than a chive thief.
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
CSI MICHIGAN
Jesus statue held ransom over dog droppings in yard
Key Clue: "A real graspy voice"
Do not miss the ransom note.
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)
IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who notes that "Transparent Toaster" would be a good name for a rock band)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
ATTENTION, SAN-DIEGO-AREA BEACHGOERS
(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here, who says: "Don't worry, we'll find it. After the Chargers win.")
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (22)
THIS IS JUST WRONG
(Thanks to Brian McCLure)
Posted by Dave on January 20, 2008 at 09:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
January 19, 2008
WE WONDER...
...if this kid knows this kid.
(Thanks to xmnr)
Posted by Dave on January 19, 2008 at 02:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (24)
GIVE IT UP
...for Zoo Poop.
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
Posted by Dave on January 19, 2008 at 02:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)
ADVISORY TO FRENCH-FRY CONSUMERS
(Thanks to DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 19, 2008 at 02:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)
TENTATIVE CRAPCAM UPDATE
Posted by judi on January 19, 2008 at 12:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (86)
January 18, 2008
MAYBE THEY CAN JUST PRETEND TO REGISTER IT
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 04:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (95)
UPDATE ON PACKERS FANS
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 03:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (32)
WHY GUYS LOVE THE INTERNET
It's a vital resource.
(Via Gizmodo)
WARNING: Be warned.
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 03:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)
CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE
It's getting so a man can't even blow up his truck.
(Thanks to Karen Main)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 03:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (24)
THAT WAS EXACTLY OUR REACTION TO AMERICAN IDOL
"The first time I saw it I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life."
-- Clay Aiken, who is -- in yet another sign of the apocalypse --joining the cast of Spamalot.
(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 02:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (36)
WANTED: HIGHLY SKILLED, INTELLIGENT, TECHNICALLY UNPARALLELED DOORMAT
Key quote: Must be able to support all needs of the VP of Customer Support. . . Additionally includes unwavering support of all decisions made by the VP of Customer Service.
(Thanks to Timothy, dagnabbit)
Posted by judi on January 18, 2008 at 02:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)
NOT TONIGHT... I HAVE TO WASH MY DRESS
(Thanks and a big eeeeewwww to klezmerphan)Posted by judi on January 18, 2008 at 02:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)
HAR
(Via Gizmodo)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (27)
YET ANOTHER REASON WHY THIS BLOG DOES NOT ATTEND THE OPERA
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (22)
DEAR WILDLIFE GARY
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (30)
THIS BLOG WOULD PROBABLY MAKE ITS OWN SOIL IN SPACE
First Korean astronaut to take soil into space
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (31)
THIS JUST IN
Key Quote: "The indictment came after a months-long probe."
(Thanks to Mike Schoenberger)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (27)
HEY, WE'RE NOT ANGRY
Romania angry over suicidal squirrels
(Thanks to sjhaller)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
STILL MORE EXCITING SCIENCE NEWS
Physicists Create World's Tiniest Trophy, To Be Awarded On Super Bowl Sunday
(Thanks to Greg Snow, who calls this "Good news for Dolphins fans")
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
THANKS, SCIENTISTS!
Cosmic Cockroaches Develop Faster
(Thanks to Jeff Matthews)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
FOUR WORDS OF ADVICE FOR SALT LAKE CITY HOMEOWNERS
(Thanks to Bruce Webster)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
TWO WORDS OF ADVICE FOR RUSSIAN HOMEOWNERS
(Also thanks to Siouxie, who suggests that this should be a "France surrenders" joke, but this blog is of course above that)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
GUARD YOUR THIGHS, PEOPLE
(Thanks to Siouxie)
UPDATE: Everybody is getting out.
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:05 AM in 24 | Permalink | Comments (11)
AS LONG AS SHE DOESN'T PARTY WITH THEM
Lohan to Work in Morgue as Punishment
(Thanks to Jenny Kellner and Siouxie)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
MISSOURI STATE LEGISLATORS: TOO MUCH SPARE TIME?
We report; you agree.
(Thanks to Derek Breid)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
THE SEQUEL
("Ton of Snakes" WBAGNFARB)
(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)
Posted by Dave on January 18, 2008 at 08:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
January 17, 2008
THE INTERNET
Law Enforcement's special friend
Way-more-ironic-than-rain-on-your-wedding-day UPDATE
Posted by judi on January 17, 2008 at 11:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)
STRONG NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to RussellMc)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 03:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (75)
WE'RE GUESSING HE'S SINGLE
Actually, we're guessing it's a he.
(Thanks to Tim Howett)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 03:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (33)
A SAD DAY
The Father of the Frisbee is gone.
(Thanks to Guin)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (44)
PARENTAL ROLE MODEL OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Miss V and Dave Miesen and sjhaller and Siouxie and Jeff Meyerson and Andrew Hoenig)
UPDATE: Maybe it's a Packers-fan thing.
(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (42)
STILL ANOTHER REASON WHY WE LOVE GUYS
Without guys, humanity would probably never learn how to hit an RV with bowling balls hurled by an industrial robot.
(Thanks to Daniel Flax and Lennon)
UPDATE: Guys are also doing important work with pig entrails.
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
HOW COME WE NEVER HAD
...teachers like this?
Key Name for Head Teacher: Andrew Chicken
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
UPDATE: Larry Martell informs us that there are more pictures here, including a nice one of Andrew Chicken.
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)
HE WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT MILK
Key Quote: "The reports may seem half-baked..."
(Thanks to Barbara A)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 09:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
THERE IS NOTHING LOWER
...than a tuba thief.
(Thansk to diverdowndoc)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 08:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
ADVISORY TO COLORADO MOTORISTS
(Thanks to diverdowndoc and DavCat)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 08:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
WHY WE LOVE GUYS
(Thanks to DavCat and diverdowndoc)
Posted by Dave on January 17, 2008 at 08:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (26)
January 16, 2008
ANOTHER HUGE BENEFIT OF COMPUTERS
We can find out what dogs are thinking.
(Thanks to Shadowkatmandu, Bob Brogan, Keli Minick, Eamonn Keane and Matt Filar, who points out that dogs are thinking, "Hey! Hey! Hey!")
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 06:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (65)
WE CERTAINLY HOPE SO
(Thanks to Baron von Klyff and Bob Brogan and Megan)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 05:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (28)
DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
(Thanks to Laurie, who notes that he already has a FL driver's license)
Posted by judi on January 16, 2008 at 05:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
IMAGINE THE SIZE OF THE CAT THAT KILLED IT
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (44)
WE COME IN PEACE
(Thanks to Joe Hicks)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (62)
UPDATE ON THE AUSTRALIAN KID WHO HAD THE GIANT PARTY WHILE HIS PARENTS WERE GONE
Turns out he probably will not have a career in rocket science.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (37)
CSI: DOUGLAS COUNTY
Bonus Good Name for a Rock Band: The Alleged Cowboy Doughnut Burglars
(Thanks to diverdowndoc)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER
...for Cloned Meat.
(Thanks to Mr. Jeff Arch, who points out that "They could be their own warmup act.")
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (31)
MISTER MODESTY
Fabio speaks. Unfortunately.
Caution: Bad words.
(Thanks to Shari Poteet, who observes: "I never liked him, but now? I want to spread I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on him and roast him.")
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (42)
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF STUDIES PROVING THINGS WE ALREADY KNOW:
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (21)
PIMP YOUR POTTY
(Thanks to wiredog)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 09:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
WHY WE LOVE THE BRITISH PRESS
(Thanks to sjhaller)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 09:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
MORE CREEPING FASCISM
It's getting so a man can't walk his snake.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Posted by Dave on January 16, 2008 at 09:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)