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January 24, 2008

HALLELUJAH III

The return of pre-GPS Jesus.

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Thank God, a new posting. After the last one I think I need a shower. And some strong meds!

See, there are social benefits to smoking.

Oops! No need for an alias on this post.

Igloo, you ALL need a shower...and a bar of Lifebuoy™ in your mouths.

Was it a burning bush??

Some may consider Jesus a Life Bouy.
Say, how's Ralphie doing. 2-10 at LomPoc?

*igloo apologizes for rambunctious O cutting in line ahead of U*

What is with all the stolen Jesuses (Jesui?) in the news lately?

You will notice that seldom do we read about a Moses being stolen! (Except for that bit when he was a baby, of course.)

As the old bumper sticker reminds us:

Jesus Saves, but Moses Invests

Ok, so if TWO Jesusussesessss popped up this week, who is the imposter???

CLEARLY the concrete Jesus was fake, and the Italian one is the Saviour.

*readies bulldozer to visit concrete Anti-Christ*

Punkin, I personally believe that Potato Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. Carbs and all.

"Ok, so if TWO Jesusussesessss popped up this week, who is the imposter???"

Is this the third coming?

I just read the bottom half of the previous thread and I got all sticky just looking at it.

I can sympathize with you Pogo. My sis phyliss was the same way.

Then you'd be a pogo-stick.

So...is it Jesi? Jesusi? Jesuses? Mr. Language Person?

Jesus is soo cool mom, he gas GPS.
(buhhh.)

Ok..how stupid is this. They have the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?"

They're there to HELP.

That was awful, a typo ruined my joke.

Jesus is soo cool mom, he has GPS!
(sorry for double post)

Whoops...

damn you, Mona.

Question: What is the singular form of the word lice??

The Cheerleaders said....LICE.

The 5th graders said....LOUSE

Case closed.

Which is why the show is not called "Are You Smarter Than a Cheerleader?"

The fifth grader must participate in this blog. What with all the De-loussing judi must have to do when the blog shuts down for 20 minutes in the morning.

"Are you smarter than a cheerleader?"

Yes I am.

Nuff said.

See, even Psycho Joe gets it.

Are you smarter than a cheerleader?

Hmmm...I was a cheerleader. And, the answer would still be 'yes.'

Well, at least the cheerleaders look good on camera.

TWO baby Jesi/Jesuses/Jesum? It should be easy to distinguish the imposter. He'll be the one with the goatee.

Snork @ Pogo's 7:09.

Jesus washes away the smut from the previous thread. Coincidence? You be the judge.

I'm smarter than a fifth grader too.
I'm also smarter than a garbage man.
Smarter than the average rocket scientist.
Smarter than the president.
And I'm smarter than even the smartest collating machine.
But they don't put me on TV.
Sucker prettyboys always getting the job.
Network execs are scum.
8>

I always did like kittens.
Ever seen a cat with about two feet of cellophane wrap with hamburger blood on it?
Only one word for that. Theatre.
"I've got you now, cellophane!"

A second word for that, Joe.....BATH!!!

Snork @ Auntie M!

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon



THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate



THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.


first you get down on your knees
fiddle with your rosaries
bow your head with great respect and
genuflect
genuflect
genuflect

WHOA. I just had the craziest news from my aunt and uncle. My cousin Dave, a pilot for ATA, is sitting on his chartered plane and waiting for Hillary Clinton who is at a banquet in NYC. He will be flying Hillary and company around for the weekend. Can't wait to hear his Tales from the Darkside!

LOL, judi! I haven't heard that in ages!

Diva, I think judi's post was directed towards Dave the pilot.

Very cool Diva. I always thought if you could get Hillary and Bill in private company, they would be great fun. (Not in a Monica kind of way, just some great laughs)

Did anyone else read the definitive comment on the "news" item? "One person in south Florida found Jesus, big deal."

*snicker* CJ.

Danny - Bill seems to be a hoot and an good conversationalist. I'm just really anxious to hear how pleasant or un- his wife is. I know how I'm hedging my bet on that.

Someone found Jesus?

Can't speak for anyone else, Cheryl, but He found me years ago!

DD, you have GPS?

Need cousin updates Diva. I bet some great stories are coming."Hillary on a plane......"

Bill was fun, but a pain....

I did no write that last post.

not* forgive me. Some one taking my name angered me.

justchanginingemail@aol.com So you can't do that again .

Got your IP. soon Addy genius

Thank god for smokers. I wish there were more. Not only do they find things but they would also probably annoy most people in this blog. I like that thought.

huzzah for The Inquisition! my son loves mel brooks, but he's only 14, so i'm holding off on History of the World for a year or two. can't wait till he gets THAT song stuck in his head! :)

Smoker's are kewl

*snork* @ Cheryl!!!

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