So my current flight -- for those of you keeping score, this is flight number three, although none of these "flights" has actually left the ground -- is now delayed. They have posted a new departure time of 11:31, which is comically optimistic, as it is now 11:20, and we haven't started boarding. But I like the "31."
BREAKING NEWS: They just announced that there are mechanics on board, checking a "problem." They hope to have an announcement in "30 minutes."
I'm going to see if Starbucks sells cyanide.