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December 20, 2007


Man Turns Into Smurf

(Thanks to Siouxie)


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I wonder if he has a date for New Year's...

He's feeling blue.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

I know a lot of people feel blue this time of year but that guy is just being silly.

There's a problem here?

Well, its one for the money,
Two for the show,
Three to get ready,
Now go, cat, go.

But don't you step on my blue hued skin.
You can do anything but lay off of my blue hued skin.

He had to move from California to Oregon to feel more accepted huh? Since when did people in Oregon, noted for being about as liberal a place as there is in this country, decide to start judging people. That guy should have been the leader of the loons up there.


Wow - thanks Siouxie ! We seldom hear good things about our fair state. Awesome that he felt moving from Oregon to California, we'd be more accepting. Of course we are - blue skin would be considered way cool on Venice Beach, or in Hollywood. Welcome, Papa Smurf - you'll probably start a whole new trend here !

"Mr Karason has moved from Oregon to California hoping to find acceptance..."

Well, California is more of a blue state than Oregon.

No, really, I have a million of 'em.

My first thought was...Meanie?? but I've met the blue man Meanie and he's mucho mas macho and handsomer.

And..I hear his schpedoinkle is bluer. Annie told me.

*Goes purple*

(Blue + red)

Has he considered raisin' up a crop o' ticks?


Roses are red
Meanies are blue
Poetry is not my strong suit
Do something about it

"... the change in hue happened when he rubbed he potion directly onto his face."

He wore blue Aqua-Velva
Wo, wo...

I don't care, I'm NOT moving to California!

"Were you blue in California?" "Yes and your grammar is terrible."

"Were you blue in California?" "Yes and your grammar is terrible."

So that's wat the song means.

Actually, this happens surprisingly often. There was a political candidate who swore by silver. You might think that after turning blue, he would decide to change course, but no, he still consumes it daily. It must be addictive.

Let's give it up for our open-minded (and/or colour blinded) friends on the West Coast!

*puts on some Miles Davis*
this guy needs oxygen.

No wonder the Lone Ranger wore a mask... all that time on Silver!

*snork* CJ...clever...very clever

Hey Jazzzz. Shoulda known it was you when I heard Mile instead of William Tell.

"My friend, something is definitely wrong with hue."

No really, stop me.

"I'm gettin' back some day,
Come what may, from blue skin hue...."

Kinda gives a new meaning to the term...blue balls, don't it??

I must say that the bot has been bery bery gud tu mee.

hi Siouxie ;-)

I'll have a bluuuue Christmas without you....

I'll have a bluuuue Christmas without you....

Okay, THAT's first for me. I'm beside myself!

I'll watch a Blue (whoo-doo-de-doo-doo-doo)
Skin flick, whithout you (whoo-doo de-doo-doo-doo)

Jazzzzzzzzzzzie!!!! *smoooch* how the heck are ya??? You've been missed around here.

marfie, I was thinking of that song too! I was waiting for one of our great lyricists to come up with a song to that tune!

*SMACKS CJ for cg and steals an 'h'*

siouxie...........better, now that i've seen you !

awwwwwwwww *blushes*

You say the sweeeetest things. So are you keeping our brethren nicely medicated??

better living through chemistry

Amen Jazzzz.

"Blue toes
Some of them gone
Nothing but blue skin
From now on"

Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me...
I'm not half the man I used to be, for I've contracted,

Oh, no! there goes another toe, it fell off It wouldn't stay.

I touched someone impure, now I long for just a cure,
to my leprosy.

Off topic, but odd--

Remember the story the other day about the wonam who groped Santa?

I posted second there, and then I recieved the following email:

"Do you have a photo of her?

There are news organizations who are trying to see what she looks like.

Maxine Susseles
Maxine Susseles, Esq.


Which was followed with:

In a message dated 12/20/2007 3:12:19 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, www.stevie@gmail.com writes:

Forgive me - who are you and what is your interest in the case? And why contact me?
Your name was on a blog that you knew her. I work with a news organization and they wanted her picture.

Maxine Susseles

she obviously got my id and email address from this blog.

Anyone else get this???????? (I was thinking of sending her a pic of judi. Whaddya think?)

Well, I'm a'gonna get my stuff
An' move to California.
I've been in Oregon
But now all they do is scorn ya.

Well I went to the bathtub
Said I gotta get white
My girl said "No dice, Paul, you're still an azure fright"
Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
There ain't no cure for the silver extract blues.

Well my mom 'n' poppa told me
"Son go down where it's sunny
If you want to walk around while you look this funny.
"Well I didn't wanna go
'Cause I don't know how to surf
But I changed my poor mind when they called me a Smurf.
"Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
Cause there ain't no cure for the silver extract blues.

Gonna take two months
Gonna have a fine vacation
Gonna see if the sun will restore my pigmentation.
Well I went to my doctor
He said, quote:
"I'd like to help you sir,
But I have no antidote.
"Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
Cause there ain't no cure for the silver extract blues.

We have some of the finest songwriters in the world on this blog and yet Barry Manilow gets all the fame, money and, chicks...err, dudes...err, llamas or whatever the heck his sexual orientation is. Regardless its a darn shame our people don't get the recognition they deserve by the music industry. Someone needs to alert the ALGORE about this injustice.

*removes comma before chicks. I blame it on the bot.*

YAY Meanie!! I can now sleep soundly - with a great earworm!

*smoochies all and nite nite*

Doesn't the police force have their annual "Blue Santa" toy drive? He should work for them.

Everybody's gone smurfin'...
Smurfin' U.S.A.

*flaps in for a moment*

*snorks wildly at all the songsters*

Wish I could have chimed in with all y'all. However, the song that I keep thinking of is "Blue Moon."

*flaps in for a moment*

*snorks wildly at all the songsters*

Wish I could have chimed in with all y'all. However, the song that I keep thinking of is "Blue Moon."

I was hoping the bot had forgotten me. Guess not.

Steve. judi & Walter would be a lovely photo for the international news circuit. IMHO.

(And honestly, I dont think anyone outside of the blogsters would even know that she was not the woman who attempted to grope Santa.)

Now. If you will pardon me. I feel the sudden need to relocate out of the Continental USA.

Reminds me of a play I did. I was the talking mirror. My face was painted blue... for some reason. I liked how I looked in the mirror, so I kept the make up on all day. Screwed with people.

Funny, he doesn't look bluish.
Welcome, Mr. Karason, to California, the most open-minded, tolerant state in our nation. During your stay here, please refrain from smoking, loitering, littering, bickering, belching, polluting, ogling, and/or warming globally. Thank you.

OT - the lovely white horse & carriage that's been trit-trotting Christmas revellers thru the neighborhood the past week or so just left a lovely buncha road apples in front of my house. My question is, do I take it personally, or do I take it personally?
Make I should just take a beer.
It's times like these CJ & his Borat sling-thong would be handy to scare them away.

He looks more purple to me. And *snorks* at all the songsters. Yes, we Californians welcome everyone, regardless of their skin color. :)

Very nice on the 12:11, annie. You don't have to be bluish. But it helps.

I've got blue...under my skin.
I've got blue...deep in my nostrils, see?

Really. Happy Hanukolors. He looks more gunmetal grey to me.

Speaking of skin color, here's a funny:

Tonight, there was an extra chicken dish, and the chef gave it to me and to the really cool black gay guy. We took it in the back to devour it, and while I was getting flatware, he boxed up the breast to take home.

I stated, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't DO dark meat." He started laughing, put the breast back on the plate and said, "Good, cuz I don't do breasts."

We all rolled!

Is he bluish on his mother's side? Then maybe he's true-blue. He should have his colors done and get this figured out.

Annie... definitely a winter.

Med - hilarious. We had a guy in our office who was brought up as a Mormon, but recently came out of the closet. (Yeah, I know - just the underwear question on that boggles the mind.) I said, "So I guess you went from Mormon to More Men.
He just stared at me.

....much like you are now.....

Annie and Med, are you the only guys up and about at this hour? I know it's not too late for Annie.

silver sells, silver sells
makes your head shine and look smurfy!
rub it in, don't stop when
your skin's blue as biscayne bay!

Sheesh, I did the Jewish jokes, the poo jokes, and the gay jokes. Thank goodness Mot's here. I was running out of material.

Yay, insom! I bet that last line was tough to come up with.

That I find hard to believe Annie, I don't think we will ever be able to acccuse you of being at a loss for words. In a nice way of course.

Mot - just winding down before my double tomorrow. Good morning, friend.

Annie - I did the racial jokes for ya, you're welcome. And that poor Moremen... he is too overloaded to understand your humor. Mormons aren't known for their wit. I understand they like multiple partners though.

Hi Med, you seem in a much better humor, have things managed to get back to a relatively even keel for you?

Polygamy want a cracker (combining race, religion, and sex)?

(Funny story, med).

Polygamist want a cracker (combining race, religion, and sex)?

(Funny story, med).

Not really, dear. Thanks for asking. But I'm still here..... that's something. Not to mention the fact that I have great friends and family.

Gotta focus on the good, ya know. The rest will take care of itself and work out.

Thanks, Stevie. It's good to know I STILL GOT IT!

Gosh, Mot - that's so nice....I don't know what to say.
Ok, I'm over it.

It's great to see the Christmas spirit here on the blog. Can someone pour me some eggnog without the nog part and the likker part... make it look like a glass of red whine?

God Bless us All.... that Tiny Tim, hope that moniker didn't stick.

Wow, you leave for a little bit and everybody finally shows up. Oh, and the guy referenced in the thread topic should move to Las Vegas. I'm sure the guys in the "Blue Man Group" could use an understudy.

If this guy wants to escape ridicule he should move to Australia, Bluey is a very popular nickname over there.

Mot, enlighten us, please. What is a Bluey?

This is the time of year when you find out who can handle stress, and who can hand you stress. The people I see getting seriously dumped on are retail employees and restaurant staff. It's unbelievable what they're expected to take from customers.

Australians have this habit of naming people by the opposite of a prominant physical attribute, for instance, a tall guy will be called Shorty, a short guy will be called Lofty, a bald guy will be called Curly, a fat guy will be called Slim etc. Bluey falls somewhere in there but for the life of me I cannot figure out the reference. Sorry, not very helpful I'm afraid.

Hey Doc, since my team, the Broncos, have pretty much screwed up their season, I've tended to ignore the other games, what's the latest state of play? Who are likely to take top spot in the various conferences?

You said it, Annie. Not to mention the hours away from your, not you're, family.

A couple years ago, I had a family sit down for lunch on Mother's Day. The father was incensed that the restaurant implemented the dinner menu (and prices) all day. And took it out on me, to the discomfort and embarrassment of his wife, daughters and their husbands.

I sweetly tried to focus him on his priorities and told him that I wish I could be with my Mother and Children eating a meal in a nice restaurant, and he told me quite rudely, "You should get a real job so you can afford to do that."

God bless him... I hope his daughters choose the PERFECT nursing home/hell hole for his cheap, hateful, contemptuous ass. Poor things, his family was humiliated and embarrassed for the entire meal. I guess they aren't worth "the dinner menu" price.

I knew it....do one horse poo joke, and here come the Houstonian-adjacents....sheesh. ;p

Med - no kidding. I don't get that, though. You have access to the food he's gonna put in his mouth. And he's sassing you BEFORE he gets his food. If I were you, I'd have a finger in his taters, IYKWIM.

Hey, I took a couple of days off Annie. Ya know you missed me ;) Mot, the best predictions are the easiest in pointy ball. New England, with Cleveland and Jacksonville as potential sleepers in the AFC. Dallas and Green Bay in the NFC with Seattle and Minnesota as the NFC sleepers. Annie's beloved Chargers have issues at quarterback. Namely that Phillip Rivers isn't a really good one this year.

Some wise person said that you can tell a hellovalot about how a person treats a server.

Annie - the food part is relatively inconsequential, compared to the message he sent to his family that they aren't worthy of a nice meal at dinner prices. WOW!

I didn't have to seek revenge... he damaged himself more than anything I could do to him. Pathetically short sighted and selfish.

I get it, budgets, etc. But throwing a temper tantrum that infers your children and your wife aren't worth the cash is seriously whack.

Sorry for being so slow on replies. The Rockets are losing by 1 point to the Nuggets in the 2nd overtime so I tend to get distracted. Damn good game by the home town 15 for a change.

And they have to sit and listen to that...ick.

Oh, and Rick. Luckily we don't have to listen to Rick....ick. Chargers are fine. Don't get me started.

Mot, I am happy to report that the majority of my guests are wonderful. Observing humans and their behavior is a huge part of my love of serving, and it is reassuring that the vast majority are respectful and well behaved.

But, I must confess, that the state of table manners in the US is deplorable. The fact that a great majority of adults don't realize that your napkin belongs in your lap as soon as you sit down, is disconcerting.

A friend of mine's son is a statistician for the Rockets. Kinda fun.

*places napkin in lap immediately*

Annie, I love L.T. (met him as a high school senior when he was interviewed at my TV station in Waco), but I just can't get behind a shot putter of a QB. Plus they're going to have to play in Indy (field turf) or New England (frozen tundra) and they have been lousy at both. LaDamian goes off for 200 yds per game in the playoffs they have a shot. Nuff said.

Annie, statistics are boring. Yawn.

Can he get us tickets? Now that might be kinda fun, 'specially if we can sit in the box.

I gotta go to bed, double shift tomorrow. Please put your napkin in your lap, people. I don't care which fork you use, but if your napkin is on the table preventing me from serving your food, !!!!!!! Stupid AHOLE alert!!!!!!!!

And ftr, your family is always worth the money. just. sayin'.

And we suck again dangit! Mot will be happy since Denver won the game so its not a total loss.

Indy and NE are boring. My FCDA advises me that the Chargers are the nicest, funnest, and gosh-darn-it, the most-deserving guys you'll ever meet.

Thanks Doc, very succinctly put.

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