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November 23, 2007

WHEW

(Thanks to Doc Rick)

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First! Wow!

I was just in New York. Standing still is nigh-on impossible. You just get run over or accosted by people selling "genuine designer" purses.

*Flailing* I'm gonna stay right here on this blog until someone helps me find my balls. My bearings are lost without them.

They're over there, dwv.

Great. So, now those clots of oblivious teenagers can block our way with the law behind them.

Great Gift Guide. One itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy gripe.
No bloglits, except the Ubiqutous ubitious omnipresent Jeff Meyerson, received credit for "Gift Guide" suggestions.
So, lets pick up the pace people. Christmas 2008 is but 395 days away.

Semms fair as long as it's not illegal for me to shove him out of the way.

Lets make that "Seems fair."

what about street corners? can i still work stand on the corner?

cg, as long as you stay away from my corner. I like to work stand alone.

Shopping update: We survived.

nap time.

I definitely liked the flying alarm clock. For my daughter, of course.

Great Gift Guide. One itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy gripe.
No bloglits, except the Ubiqutous ubitious omnipresent Jeff Meyerson, received credit for "Gift Guide" suggestions.
So, lets pick up the pace people. Christmas 2008 is but 395 days away.

LSU vs Arkansa-great game!! 2OT

I don't see how this item was left off the list. Clearly this is the perfect gift for all Blog boogers to wear on Monday nights between January and May each year. *except this year of course...DAMNIT!*

Thanks, Ig: 3 OT!

Well, that certainly muddies up the old BCS rankings yet again. Especially if Kansas loses tomorrow. Not a good day to be in Baton Rouge.

This of course brings up the question, was the woman carrying the bra bag, wearing a bra?

The ten plagues has me wondering. As in, why is it that number 9 appears to be a man wearing a yamulka? Why are all the numbers at the nether regions. This makes the curse of the man with the yamulka scare me a little bit.

Arkansas wins! I repeat, this has been the WEIRDEST year for college football!

I need a good, stiff...drink. Anyone tending bar?

No problem, JD. What are you having? I hijacked an ABC truck, so the blog is well stocked.

Terrific, ig. I'll have a blogarita, please. Frozen, with salt.

Rum? Vodka? Gin? All of the above?

Alfred, sometimes Sigmund Freud soap is just Sigmund Freud soap.

ig, blogaritas require some Jose Cuervo terkillya.

Sometimes, according to the "Gift Guide", he's just a Lollipop.
GO Seminoles!!

José coming up.

The Longhorns go down for the 2nd year in a row to the Aggies. Somewhere in the world, Matthew Mcconaughey just vowed to not take a shower for another year. Women everywhere still don't mind.

Doc Rick, don't rub it in. I don't know what mojo the Aggies had going this year, but it was pretty powerful. The UT defense was kidnapped and replaced by a high school band.

Hurry, igloo! I need to drown my sorrows. And make an extra, to pour over M. McConaughey.

*raises eyes above surface, spies an unattended Igloo leg*

Sorry Ducky! I was only reporting the bad news. No one would ever confuse me for being a fan of the Aggies. My oldest is a big Horns fan and desperately wants to attend UT when he graduates.

Holas!! just finished looking over Dave's Gift Guide and it's as funny as always!

Iggy, I believe that PeterM and RussellMc also got their suggestions in there. I am wondering, however, what Jeff was looking for when he found the bra bag. Is there something you're not telling us, Jeff? I don't think pink is your color ;-P

I survived Black Friday. I was smart enough to wait till all the insanity died down at Best Buy. Went in got what we wanted and left in under 45 mins. Got both my daughters their "big" gifts and one for me. A new car stereo system. ALL in under 45 mins!! YAY!

*decides against warning iggy about possible Chomp attack*
TREE UPDATE - no, not turkey tree, not Chanukah bush, not Kwanzaa Acacia - Christmas Freakin' Tree -it is in da house. It is not yet vertical. It is large. It is beyond large. It is 13 feet tall. I am not. I am tired. I am reloading my drink readying the pine trebuchet.
Also, leftover apple pie goes quite well with beer.

Siouxie, emerging unscathed from shopping at BBuy on Black Friday deserves a drink--especially since everyone got the gifts they wanted. Igloo, pour my good friend Siouxie a blogarita when you pour mine.

pssst...Siouxie - blurkie's daughter wanted to go shopping today. I mentioned that it was Black Friday. They went anyway. Haven't heard from them since.
So, if you want his Coors, you can have it. :)

Thanks, Ducky!

Annie, I'm getting my Christmas tree tomorrow, I hope. I didn't have time today. It may not be decorated for a while...but damnit I'm getting it. And yes, it's a Christmas tree.

um...Coors?? not even shopping on Black Friday can make me drink that stuff. I'm having my boxed wine and Ducky's blogarita. I need something STRONG!

I also took the girls to visit my cousin and her new baby girl. It was funny to see them hold the baby and wince when Genevieve would start fussing. She's soooo cute and tiny. They have a LOT to learn. LOL

*eyes distracted housewife rolling tree on a lounge chair into position*

Wow, CJ - good memory! No lounge chair this year - my boys and a neighbor helped me carry it in. Just for degree of difficulty, I'm using two ladders, the pine, and my own personal body to fashion a catapult. Soon, beer will go nicely with Jacuzzi. Not yet though. Almost launch time.

Wow, CJ - good memory! No lounge chair this year - my boys and a neighbor helped me carry it in. Just for degree of difficulty, I'm using two ladders, the pine, and my own personal body to fashion a catapult. Soon, beer will go nicely with Jacuzzi. Not yet though. Almost launch time.

Rats. Ok, so I tried to launch it twice. This was Discovery Weekend- boys found out about Santa, which was followed by a rapid interrogation about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, who were not here to defend themselves. And the direct connection between bird, dead bird, and eating dead bird.

I'm waiting for next weekend when my middle brother is here on his break between Marine Boot Camp and his MOS in North Carolina before we get our tree.

Mostly because I have his stuff here and I need him to get a storage unit so I can get to my Christmas decorations...

*grabs pillows off blog sofa, places them strategically around Annie's tree*

Back on topic, just for a moment:


Start spreading the news
I’ll stand here all day
You’ll have to walk around me now, New York, New York

Move? No, I refuse
I won’t go away
The courts say I can stand my ground, New York, New York

I want to hang out in the city by busy streets
With all my peeps gathered ‘round; I won’t retreat

Those big city cops
Have nothing to say
I’ll flail my arms when I’m downtown, in old New York

If I can loiter here
I’ll loiter anywhere
A big thank-you, New York, New York!


*boisterous Broadway applause for the Duckster!*

Black Friday wasn't so bad. We went to Steinmartz (?), and even went to the Mall. It was crowded, but we were in and out pretty fast.

I'll have a blogarita - who's tending bar?

LMAO Ducky!!

Take a bow, Ducky, but please don't block the sidewalk. It's SteinMart, daisy. They're based out of Jax...is that where you are?

They have Broadway in Texas? Who gnu?

Passes a round of favorites to everyone.... how many hours until school starts?

Thanks, all. (*Snork* @ CJ!)

Thanks for the drink, Med. You're singing the song of mothers everywhere.

Igloo, have you seen this video from the Arrogant Worms? It could be relevant.

Dear God, my mother just doesn't know when to shut her mouth. I tell her in no uncertain terms that I don't wish to discuss a certain topic anymore. Her answer, "Tough. I want to talk about it."

Me: Mother, drop it. I'm not going to discuss it.
Mom: I want to discuss it.
Me: No. Not tonight.
Mom: Yes.
Me: Drop it.
Mom: No! I'll talk about it if I want to!

And so forth.

Please shoot me.

agrees that beer and leftover apple pie go together quite nicely.

my tree gets smaller every year. should be down to a table top version before too long. if ya'll could wait til the day before christmas, they're free you know.

Philosophical question of the day: If kids drive their moms crazy, and moms drive their kids crazy, why do so many wimmen wind up being moms? On purpose, even.


I'm thinking temporary insanity, myself.

Diva, "It's not your fault."

Post Turkey Day Update: Houston, we have vomiting..... it's officially a howliday.

Um...Siouxie, boxed wine over Coors? That's a helluva trade off.

*BANG*

*reloads just in case she gets up*

Blurkie, I see your boxed wine, and raise you some single malt scotch.

Med, bite your tongue! I am perfectly happy to have a few days NOT surrounded by sixth graders.

Dive--I'm sorry. Your mom's attitude sucks. I suggest lots and lots of alcohol, then throwing up on her shoes.

*slowly raises up to grab drink off of blogbar, sinks back behind blog couch until the smoke clears*

med, 55 and a half.

ducky, people do this on purpose!?!?!?!?!

Sorry, Med. Didn't see that there was already vomiting on the blog. And blurk took care of the shooting.

Diva? Feel better? Don't get up, now.

*MMMmmmmmm, one of Med's kids is 'chumming;' skulks over thataway*

Thanks, blurk, I needed that.

*lays peacefully on the bar floor*

Someone wanna drip some booze down? Whatever ya got's fine.

cg, sometimes, or so rumor has it.

Med, candy's dandy, wine's fine, liquor's quicker, but I'm on call tonight so Mountain dew is what it's gotta be.

Diva, apparently you can have blurk's Coors.
*rolls it to her from behind the blog couch*
Hi, Ducky!

*BANG*
I don't usually need a second shot but what the hell?

Thanks, Auntie M. We're now settled with The Incredibles and hopefully her mouth is mute for a while. She's been drinking (*sigh*), so there's no guarantee of that. :-(

BANG BANG BANG!!!!!!!!!!
*Grabs shotgun*
This sumbitch is next.

Thanks, blurk. Again.

And Merry early Christmas.

Oh, I forgot... ;)

Howdy, Auntie! There's plenty of room here behind the couch. Hope I didn't splash blogarita on you earlier.

For blurkie, some Mountain Dew.

blurk, step away from the shotgun. It's too dam noisy in here and the cordite is fierce. Go to a happy place....

Thanks, Ducky. You didn't spill. Or, if you did, your blogarita just donated a little extra to my blogarita.
*puts on Kevlar vest just in case blurk isn't out of bullets yet*
And might I say, I think the "Ten Plagues Bowling Set" on Dave's gift guide is going to be the best gift ever for my one Jewish friend!

Ducky, that ain't the kind of Mountain Dew I grew up with.

CJ - it's not my progeny upchucking.... it's my little sister providing me a just excuse to avoid the plague (aka my mother).

BWAHAHAHAHAHA. However, my kids are playing soccer and boxing in the basement. If I only had an ipod, I wouldn't have to wonder what every loud CRASH is........

blurk, you must mean THIS Mountain Dew.

*snork* @ Ducky's Dew.

Hi, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving...

Whoa. Arkansas beat LSU?! Yikes.

Jeez, and I had to work today. And I've got to work tomorrow, and miss Armageddon at Arrowhead. You'd better believe I'll have the VCR set for that one.

Let's see:

--Stuffed Jayhawk plush toy impaled on car antenna, ala Vlad Tepes. Check.

--"Go Missouri, Beat Kansas" T-shirt, decorated with portrait of William Quantrill, laid out ready for wear to work tomorrow. Check.

--Fresh bottle of Jim Beam on hand for postgame celebration, check.

Yep, all ready...

I don't wanna get whiney, or anything, but as a cold-blooded reptile, it seems chilly to me. There are many windows that might have to be closed.

Are you cold, CJ?
*gives CJ a hot toddy and some woolly socks*
It's warm here behind the blog couch.

The thermostat is set down in the 60s and the heat has kicked on; I may have to close some windows. It's a winter storm, I tells ya.

Oh Crap! The Chinese have invaded the blog. Somebody wake Siouxie up and tell her to prep the hot wax. I'll set up a perimeter around the bar. Hey, someone has to protect the booze!

Well!

It appears that most of y'all'zuns had a good time over the last 36 hours ...

Among other stuff @ our gatherin' ... the oldest grandson accepted the give of The Dangerous Book for Boys with mild interest ... until I told him about catapults and such ...

Then he told him mom, " ... and it throws ... cows ... and pianos ... and cars ... "
Methinks I've got a project in my future that will involve all of the grandsons, helpin' with the handiwork ... they'll hafta settle for an old Pontiac, tho ... I'm fresh outta Buicks to load the Trebuchet ...

* ... um ... that would be "gift" ... not "give" ... dang Turkey hangover!*

CJ, we went from 89 and sunny on Wednesday to 49 and cloudy on Thanksgiving Day. Brrrrrrr! It's about 45 right now, and we're supposed to be getting rain by tomorrow.

*Huddles under blanket, throws another log on fire*

So I'm watching this movie that all of you have seen, but I hadn't. "It's Wonderful Life," as updated and named, "Family Man." I am so that @sshole male character. For so many years, an immersed nerd.

Sometimes, even a corny movie does a good job.

Okay, I know I'm not crazy and I'm certainly not drunk yet. There was a Chinese spammer post there just before I sent in my last one.

CJ, we went from 89 and sunny on Wednesday to 49 and cloudy on Thanksgiving Day. Brrrrrrr! It's about 45 right now, and we're supposed to be getting rain by tomorrow.

*Huddles under blanket, throws another log on fire*

Uh, oh. Doc's hallucinating again. And Ducky's so cold her posts are chattering. This calls for....
loaded egg nog, a rubber room, and a fire pit.

Thanks, Auntie. I have no idea how that post showed up twice.

*Skulks over near fire pit. Scopes about for Igloo foot*

Rick, I got yer back - I saw that Chinese spam. It's probably just Cheng lording over us the fact that our writers are on strike and he has 6 more weeks of freedom from 24 hell.

This just has to stop. I turned the window fans off, what with the heat coming on, and they're still spinning in the north wind. I may have to take the fans out of the windows as we approach two digits.

Disappearing Chinese spammer posts, Ducky's several minutes apart double post, and CJ's become a cannibal. Only one thing can explain it all away. The furry little bastards have completed their training in the powers of the "Dark Side".

Ow, blurkie, can't a girl's mother complain without someone shoouting, "It's not my your fault, eh!"

Hey blurk, you need a Mountain Dew? Drop on by. We've got a few (thousand) in the basement ...

Hannah, cute cow videos will do you no good. Most parents, across America, need to hate you just now. Please don't take this personally.

well it's good to know that our God given right to stand on sidewalks at 2 am flailing our arms is being upheld by the courts.

I'll sleep easier tonight...well i would, but i've got some arm flailing to get in before dawn.

Igloo, I'll see you at the end of the 3rd Quarter, around 7pm. Night all.

'Night, CJ! Close those windows so you don't freeze while you sleep!

*Snork* @ danceswithstuff!

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