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November 27, 2007

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO "MIND THE GAP?"

"We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are
almost certainly talking too loudly."


(Thanks to GungaDan and jon harris)

WOOF

(Also thanks to Siouxie)

NORTH KOREA

A Very Strict Place

(Thanks to DavCat)

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the little furred bastards are infiltrating our homes.

(Thanks to Mot the Hoople)

ANOTHER LEAP FORWARD FOR MEDICINE

(Thanks to Siouxie)

November 26, 2007

WE CANNOT BELIEVE WE MISSED THIS STORY

From the March 22 Houston Chronicle:

A man accused of leaving an El Lago restaurant without paying his tab was arrested a short time later on a trespassing charge by the Lakeview Police Department.

According to a police report, an employee at Gabacho's Mexican Restaurant in the 4400 block of NASA Parkway called police to report the theft.

When officers responded, they learned that the man was seen walking toward a vacant building on the other side of the road after leaving the restaurant.

Police checked the area and found an open door in the back of the building. An officer went inside and called out, "Marco."

The man's name was not Marco, detective Tim Dohr said. Instead, "the officer was trying to inject some humor into the situation."

Police found the suspect after he responded, "Polo."

 

(Thanks to Claire Martin,  via oomsa, with further research by Ms. J. Smith)

"LUCKIEST TEENAGER IN INDIA"

That's not the term this blog would use.

WARNING:
Cringe-inducing photo and words.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

WE HAVE GOT TO CUT DOWN ON SATURATED FATS

(Thanks to fivver)

HUH! HEADLINE OF THE DAY

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

FIGHT GLOBAL WARMING

Pee in the sea.

(Thanks to CJRun)

SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT

(Thanks to Christine White)

EXCELLENT NAME FOR A BAND

Flaming Lingerie

(Thanks to chicomathmom)

IT'S MONDAY, AFTER A LONG WEEKEND

Time to get productive.

(Thanks to ScottMGS)

ROCK BAND FINANCES

They're complicated.

(Thanks to Philip Snyder)

PEOPLE ARRESTED FOR DUI:

Know your rights.

WARNING: Do  not play this video in your office.

(Also thanks to DavCat)

BEAUTY PAGEANTS

Not for the Weak

(Thanks to DavCat)

SOUTH FLORIDA POLITICAL LEADERS

They take action.

November 25, 2007

THE APOCALYPSE

It has reached Greenlawn, NY.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE'RE PRETTY SURE THIS ALREADY IS THE NAME OF A ROCK BAND

Monkey Meat

(Thanks to sjhaller)

NO NEED TO SEND A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

He already has one.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

YOU CAN HAVE OUR VACUUM CLEANER WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM OUR COLD, DEAD FINGERS

(Thanks, yet again, to DavCat)

IT'S A GOOD THING THIS BLOG HAS A STRICT POLICY AGAINST MAKING FUN OF NAMES

Because otherwise we would be tempted to link to this.

(Thanks to Layzeeboy)

YOU JUST KNOW IT WILL WIND UP AS A CHARGE ON SOME PATIENT'S BILL

WHY WE LOVE THE HOLIDAY SEASON

In a word: joy.

(Thanks, yet again, to DavCat)

HAR

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)

ATTENTION NEW YORK CITY PEDESTRIANS

Watch out for stray voltage (which would be a good name for a rock band).

Key Quote: Police and EMS confirmed Bedell was brought to Lincoln Hospital where officers said they noticed a smell of something burning on him.

(Also thanks to DavCat)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

They have reached a new low.

Here's a photo of the headless Babe.

(Thanks to DavCat)

November 24, 2007

ATTENTION HOLIDAY SHOPPERS

Here you go.

SOME STORIES JUST REEK OF THE ESSENCE OF FLORIDA

This is one of those stories.

(Thanks to sjhaller)

WHOOPS

(Thanks to Brad)

WHEN FLYING CANS OF GRAVY ARE OUTLAWED

...only outlaws will have flying cans of gravy.

(Thanks to DavCat)

November 23, 2007

WHEW

(Thanks to Doc Rick)

JUST WHAT WE NEED

Upbeat worms.

(Which also would be a good name for a rock band.)

(Thanks to vkellner)

IN ADDITION TO BEING A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND, THESE BABIES CAN SPIT 500 YARDS

Combat Camels

(Thanks to Barbara A.)

ATTENTION HOLIDAY SHOPPERS

"This is your chance to make your family, the entire party or an entire office cry with laughter."

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

HE HAS OUR VOTE

(Thanks to Layla Bohm)

SPORTSPERSON OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARRING DANNY DEVITO

The Case of the Giant Hairball

(Thanks to shawna and Cheryl Howard and Layla Bohm and chicomathmom AND Esther)

IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE

...love any nearby inanimate object.

(Thanks to Annette Gaudreau, who asks, "Is there a sudden shortage of women? First the guy with the bike, and now this.")

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PROTEST CONCEPT?

(Thanks to sjhaller)

Update: That story somehow seems related to this one. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION?

Key Quote: "To the celebratory rhythms of a percussionist beating on toilets..."

(Thanks to tavesawyer and Cheryl Howard)

WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO TELL THIS BLOG THERE IS NO EXCITING NIGHTLIFE IN CANADA

...this blog begs to differ.

(Also thanks to W. von Papineau)

ATTENTION, BUSINESSES WISHING TO RAISE THE, UM, MORALE OF MALE EMPLOYEES

Take a tip from Taiwan.

(Also thanks to DavCat and Jeff Meyerson)

TALK ABOUT YOUR CRACK DETECTIVE WORK

A suspect is identified from a video of his buttocks.

(Thanks to DavCat and Siouxie)

ADVISORY TO OHIO MOTORISTS

Carry a spare gazelle.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

BLACK FRIDAY ADVISORY

Bed careful out there, shoppers.

November 22, 2007

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

...from us to you.
In our house, we were up early, reading the newspaper ads just as the Pilgrims did.
Walterads

November 21, 2007

SOON TO BE A FULL-LENGTH ANIMATED FEATURE

Cooking With Pooh

(Thanks to DavCat)

And just in case you were wondering if this is an actual book...)

MEN VS WOMEN

You know how when things aren't going well in your friend's life, or day, or whatever? And he or she complains a little about them to you, because you are always willing to lend a sympathetic ear if it gets you out of doing any work? So then, when it's your turn to talk, because you care, you say, "I'm sorry."? You know?

If the other person is a woman, she will respond, "Thanks. Yeah, it sucks." Or some such response, often followed by a continuing litany, but the point is: She recognizes what you meant.

Whereas if the other person is a man, when you say "I'm sorry," he will respond, "It's not your fault."

This is merely an observation. We shall leave the sexist interpretation of this fact, and subsequent flinging of angry rhetoric back and forth, to the commenters of either competing gender.

A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

(Thanks to sjhaller)

 
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