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November 27, 2007

MEMPHIS

City of Exciting Nightlife

(Thanks to Weaselboy, who cites this Key Quote: “They come to the window, 'Tap, tap, tap.' I'm still ignoring them," Brisco told WMC-TV. "I guess that just pissed them off worser.")

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Edgar you may be on to something, have you noticed that Siouxie and Annie are quiet tonight? Do you think it's because they haven't gotten back from their trip to McDonald's?

Hi ya Diva! Are you feeling better? Need a match?

Wow - sometimes this blog amazes me. I just got an email from the son of my former teacher. Remember a few weeks back when we all spent the night posting about former teachers? Well, he did a web search on his dad's name and came up with my post. Even though his dad is gone now, he said his dad "would be happy to know his students remember him fondly."

Thanks, Dave, for giving us the opportunity and the place to do that. :-)

*smacks Edgar*
Med- -I missed you the other night, but I was going to say that more important than what the school @ss-ministration does is what YOU do. Your kids will see how you handle this and pattern their own reactions to stressfull situations after yours. So action and anger, balanced with humor and your obvious mad wrestling skills, will get you AND them thru. Because it ain't just the school @ss-ministration - lots of areas of life are plugged with arseholes. Your kids need the life skills to kick butt deal with it.

"The transvestites allegedly struck the manager with a tire iron, and when he swung back, the drag queens took off their stiletto boots, removed their earrings and prepared to attack. The manager, Albert Bolton, was covered with scratch marks after suspects clawed him with their fingernails. Bolton grabbed a pot of scalding french-fry grease and hurled it at his attackers. One of the cross-dressers then smacked Bolton with a wet floor sign."

If there is a God in heaven, the surveillance video WILL be up on YouTube by midnight.

Thanks, ellie - I just needed to HURL after Jazzzz's image. :-)

psst- ellie - I'm still wearing my stilettos. Just sayin'. :)

La la la la la is a strong position. I want to do something different, but that last 'la' is tough to get around. Helping to put 20th Century infrastructure into Mesopotamia would be cool. On the other hand I explained remote-control fishing to my boss, today, and it got his attention. I also offered him a chance to buy into my fish farm.

Everbody is all freaked out because a big wig is touring the offices and slinging her axe on Thursday. Honestly, a year ago I would have slept with her, but that's a lot of work and cg would kill me. She is not at all understanding about these things.

Thanks, Annie. You're right about knowin' when to go Ninja, when to laugh, when to hire an attorney, and when to admit that you don't have all the answers.

We designed the A$$hole Olympics wardrobe tonight, amidst massive giggling and snorking. School may be hostile, but home is safe and fun. Kinda like real life... or at least how it should be.

Photos for padraig. I think they could hurl a mean 'wet floor' sign.

One of the cross-dressers then smacked Bolton with a wet floor sign.


Why was the floor sign wet? Shoddy reporting.

Med - poifect!
CJ - do you understand that when you go off on one of your marine biology dissertations that all most of us hear is 'la, la, la, la?'

Was that wet floor or flet hoor?

dyslexia is a hctib sometimes.

Used to have a drag queen friend long ago who went by the name Amy Zon. 6'5" in his stocking feet. A formidable sight to say the least in his gold sequined dress and 8"-heel gold lame boots.

oh, oh, oh!

*Major snorkage* Annie! Too true.

Annie, THAT's where you were! Posting bail! You look much different in your blog pic. heehee

Diva, hope you get to eeling fetter!

'Nite all! I've gotta go catch some Zzzzzzzzzzzs


night, ellie. :)

Yup - guess I overdid the fake tan. Oopsie.
'Nite el. Dreet sweams.

Annie, you live in CA... fake tan, why?

Annie, it's more like that sound that all the adults on Charlie Brown make. "Whah whaaaah whaah whaaaah whaah."

CJ, I do read all your stuff and wish I could understand more of it. ;-) (And cg is smart. Listen to her la la las.)

Med, the A$$hole Olympics, that's B-U-ttiful!

'nite, Ellie.

Mr. gjd is asking what we're talking about. Have you ever tried to explain any of the blog conversations to "outsiders"? I talk and *snork* and they stare at me wondering who these people are that I'm talking about.

LOL, gjd. I've forgotten and used the word "snork" in other online conversation, too, and had very confused responses from the other party. :-D

gjd. somethings defy explanation.

like women's conversations. We guys simply nod and grin, and never really have much of a clue what's goin' on.

Sweet dreams, gjd. and yes, I have tried to 'splain my snorkage.... to blank stares and rolling eyeballs. I gave up. Just wait 'til you fly 2000 miles to meet your blogpals. Or planning a vacation to Wyoming next summer to meet wyo and mrs. wyo, fish, hunt, ride, etc. Try 'splainin' that. I gave up and accepted it.

"Embrace the weirdness." And do what I do: be thankful for the amazing, intelligent, wonderful blogsters. and dave. and especially judy.

Yea, DD, I almost *snorked* at my sister. It's not as funny when you have to explain that you were telling them they were funny.

... 6'5" in his stalking feet, you say?

why does "stalking feet" bring to mind images of Wee Willie Winkie?

Time for bed here in GA. Good night, all!

*snork* WYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dances, that woman is clearly insane.

Insane, definitely, and possibly a guy, NTTAWWT(ThatPsychMedsCounselingAndFootSurgeryCouldn'tHelp).

As for Wee-Willie rapping at the windows, ignore him (or her), although that will just piss him (or her) off worser.

dances, I was gonna say I was pretty sure those were actually female feet, but on second glance, I don't honestly know. Yish, either way.

Med - I was kidding about the fake tan - ellie accused me of being one of the transv who whomped on the McD guy. My photo link at 10:58 showed the transv perps to be on the dark side of the family. NTTAWWT.
Fake tan - lots wrong with that. Ick.

Yeah, me neither. I don't remember how I ran across that monstrocuriosity, but I knew it would come in handy on the blog eventually. :-)

Just a guess, but he/she/it probably has low thyroid, from the looks of the orange callouses. Or eats prodigious amounts of carrots. NTTAWWT. Bunny.

dances - how do you 'stalk' someone with all that bling on your ankles?

Playboy™ Bunny, dances? ;)

Or fake tan.

Playboy now has bunny dances? Must've fallen on hard (har!) times.

I'll give up my wet floor sign when you pry it from my cold, dead hand? Got nothin

1: Why did you say 'Bunny'?
2: I panicked.
1: Perhaps it's from the zoo.
2: Which zoo?
1: How should I know which zoo, I'm not Doctor Bloody
Bernovski.
2: How would Doctor Bernovski know which zoo it was from?
1: He knows everything.
2: Hmmm. I wouldn't like that. That would take all the mystery out of life.

Bunny dances? I thought the Electric Slide was the thang.

1. BURMA!!! 2. Why'd you say Burma? 1. I panicked.

heya, cowhand! cute. :)

Push 17 grocery store shopping carts through a parking lot covered with 8" of snow...uphill. Oh, and you weigh 120 pounds at the time.

Dances, those shoes nails seem perfect for bog hiking.

Your hair "tanned" too, eh Annie? And I didn't seriously mean to accuse you of anything. I was just... speculating.

<Sharpies™=On>

2: How do you 'stalk' someone with all that bling on your ankles? There! I've run rings around you, logically (and in high "heels"!).
1: OH, !NTERCOUR$E THE PENGUIN BLING!

</Sharpies™>

The terrorist squirrel on your blog will now explode.

Back from watching the Monty Python skit. TFF. I had it memorized in my misspent youth. Starts with "Number 22:The Nipple" and gets even funnier from there.

That's whut "crossdressers" look like?

... um ... I wuz sorta trineta figger out why cg needed help dressin' her artwork and ... um ... never ... mind ...

That is by far the most random thing that I've ever read.

Crossdressers attacking McDonalds workers.
Violently even.
Wierd.
Random and wierd.
I'm kinda dumbfounded...

Okay, I'm out. That's as much thievery as I can muster for tonight.

Hey cowhand, Edgar, Wayne, OtheU, PJoe. Hey Diva. And Wyo, and whoever else is lurkifying.

How's thangs?

*flaps in for a moment*

Gosh, here in Austin, the most dangerous thing our cross-dresser does is run for mayor.

And Bling Annie.

Ducks!

Dances!

Ducky, your candidate has his own wierdness magnet, with interchangable clothes? *Snork*

heya back, dances. things are good tonight. put my mom on the plane home this afternoon, and am trying to kick a chest cold. (*cough, hack*)

*snork* @ Wayne & Ducky.

Hi, Ducks!

WayneHere, yes, indeedy. "Keep Austin Weird" is the unofficial slogan of the city, after all. Leslie likes to hang out downtown by the courthouse steps, where the judges, lawyers, and various plaintiffs and litigants have to go right by him to enter the building.

you might run on for a long time
run on, duckin' and dodgin' dancin'
(apologies to Moby)

Onward Through The Fog!

*Snork* Wayne

Howdy, Diva! So sorry you're sick.

*texts blanket, cough drops and hot toddy to Diva*

Med, way up there, good job lightening the moment for the boy. Laughter is truly the best medicine, which means Dave is the best doctor I know!

Unfortunately, it is late and I must be up early. So, nighty-night, y'all. Sweet dreams!

Tanks, Duck*hic*y! Loves me som hot teddy....zzzzzzzz

Diva, congrats and sorry! Get weird well! I'm packing it in, too.

Austin is the Las Vegas of Texas, minus the gambling. Great food, great bars, lots of pretty young people, and the music scene is off the charts. Best place I've ever visited in my fair state.

Got to hit Austin for the miusic and such some day. My only time in Texas was a week in San Antonio. Fun.

Oh, I missed layzee up there. Hey.

'Nite.

My first job was working for a professional landscaping service. I was 16 and wanted a playstation.

I was 23 before I ever wanted anything again.

You see, I live in Florida. It is HOT here.
And me, being the stocky little fella that I am, I was the guy that got to haul gravel in the wheelbarrel. And shovel the gravel into and out of the blasted wheelbarel.

I did this for about 3 days and I passed out from heat exhaustion. On the asphalt.
I decided that I didn't need that job very badly.
Not worth risking my life for minimum wage.
Ever since then, I watch myself when I'm in the sun.
And, being the stocky (bigger) fella that I am now, I have no fear of telling anyone exactly how I feel about them telling me to "work harder".

"You can shut the *%&$ up before I beat you senseless."

And I'll tell the boss that.
I won't risk my life for minimum wage.
And I'll beat the crap out of anyone who thinks I should.
Thanks for reading.
8>

LTTG-
Anyone here?

I'm gonna hide in Med's suitcase for the trip to Wyo's place.

Something weird is going on in Tennessee- first a guy shooting traffic lights, now this! Think the Earth's Weirdness Magnetic field is shifting? CJ? Can you please give us a dissertation on that so we can NOT read it? BTW- I'm in agreement with crossgirl- La la la la la.

Darwin put up a particularly hard fight today- I'm all tuckered out. One of the highlights of the night was playing "What's grosser than gross?" with one of my colleagues with things that really happened to us. He won twice, and once was not even work-related. I'm still gagging a little over that one.

Ok, now you have to elaborate DDD. Please explain what it was that grossed you out so bad.

OK Doc, but remember- you asked for it.

*****************Warning- tasteless and disgusting

So Rob (my friend at work who is also a physician) had to borrow his brother's car for a while. Apparently, Rob's brother, like many people, picks his nose in the car. However, instead of disposing of the results of his efforts in a sanitary and less disgusting way, Rob discovered that his brother uses the underside of the seat. So whenever he reaches under the seat to get the phone or adjust the seat, etc., Rob says his arm was getting scratched by dried products of his brother's efforts. He even tried to get the car detailed but they couldn't even scrape it off.

That was the disgusting NON work related one that makes me laugh.

The work one was a very heavy woman who required a pelvic exam for medical reasons. She was bleeding heavily, so when Rob was performing the exam and had turned to the nurse to ask for something, some of the blood splashed into his open mouth. The patient was unaware of this turn of events, so imagine her surprise when her physician suddenly ran to the head of the bed and began violently vomiting into a trash can near her head.

He won "Grosser than gross". I'm not even in his league!

/end staggeringly disgusting post.

oops- make that, "that was the non-work related one. THIS next one is the one that makes me laugh"

Yeah, I asked for it and...BLEEECCCCHHHHHH!!!!!! Nice!
Please continue..

those were the best two by far. The second one is gross but I just think is funny because it didn't happen to me. If you knew Rob, you could TOTALLY see it happening to him. The first one was so gross that the other doc had to step away from the conversation because he had already heard it and just couldn't listen to it again. I thought I threw up in my mouth a little. YUCK!

I'll let it go at that. I am so glad I'm not a real doctor of anything involving biological functions. I can deal with family members I'm responsible for, but everyone else just makes me barfy. I really need to look at getting a new handle since there are real doctors in here.

*yawn* I hear Mr.ddd stirring upstairs, so that means it is safe for me to go up without waking him.

Goodnight, all!

Good luck in job, handle, and all you do, Doc Rick!

See you later!

I like Chinese, but not for breakfast.

*shuffles in for a min*

Sorry to have missed last night's discussions but I was watching Dancing with the has-beens busy.

Med, Wyo - I WAS zonked out when ya'll tried to reach me (sorry).

ddd - those two stories are YUCKO! I can't decide which is grosserer. or worser.

Chinese spammer dude - I'm buying egg rolls for the entire blog.

*waves to Mot before shufflin' back to bed*

Hmmmmm. Chinese spam. I don't even have a clue what's in American spam. I would'nt want to see what's in the Chinese version.

Hmmmmm. Chinese spam. I don't even have a clue what's in American spam. I would'nt want to see what's in the Chinese version.

Yuck. It's repeating on me. Please to excuse.

i've been nauseous for days, come to the blog for a little levity and leave retching. thanks ya'll. you know how you always feel better after you yak? better now thanks to you charming bloglits.

what in heck are you people doin' up so early? (late for Mot)

I was waiting for you Jazzz.

Back on the original story: I think I see a solution here. Wet floor signs are obviously a hazard and should be banned. End the violence! Think of the children! We could take it one step further...if there were no mops or water, one would not need a wet floor sign. I see major change in our future. Someone must take responsibility and outlaw these dangers.

*swoons and bats eyes* ...mornin' casey

morning jazzzie. How do you take your coffee?

anyway you got it ;-)

DDD, that 2nd story is absolutely the grossest thing I have ever heard in my life. I LOVE it! Got any more good ones?

Jazzzie, I'm waiting for the more motivated bloggals to get here with the customary danish, eggs, bacon (the candy of meats), etc. I'm not moving very well yet. But the coffee is cooking, so give me a minute...

gotta run some errands.......keep the coffee and ...uhhh.. buns warm

hehehe

LTTG, but this makes me so proud to live in Memphis. *sigh*

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