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November 27, 2007

MEMPHIS

City of Exciting Nightlife

(Thanks to Weaselboy, who cites this Key Quote: “They come to the window, 'Tap, tap, tap.' I'm still ignoring them," Brisco told WMC-TV. "I guess that just pissed them off worser.")

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Sweet Memphis. Land of Elvis.

And B B King

"...drag queens took off their stiletto boots,"
Tight shoes must have driven the "ladies" to such rage.

Big Mac attack!

"Meeeeooowww! Phsst! Phssst!"

LAID seige????? I need eye bleach

And you KNOW a lady never fights with her earrings on!

Isn't "Violent Femmes" already the name of a band?

"I guess that just pissed them off worser.


a ruling puleeze, Mr. Language Person.

"One of the cross-dressers then smacked Bolton with a wet floor sign...."

They oughta outlaw those safety signs.

They jutht get tho agitated!

They come to the window, 'Tap, tap, tap.' I'm still ignoring them," Brisco ...

Maybe they needed to take a wider stance.

If I had to fight with my stilettos, I'd be pissed off the worsiest.

The Memphis police "drag"net should yield a few of these McVestites! :-)

A "wet floor sign"?

Well, wuz it a floor sign that wuz wet, or a sign that warned of a wet floor? Sloppy journalism ... writing unclearly in that manner ...

As to his "worser" ... I'm sure he meant to say "more badder" ...

First, there was nationwide fears over transfats at McDonald's... Now, the transvestite scare begins!

First, there was nationwide fear over transfats at McDonald's... Now, the transvestite scare begins!

Siouxie - you beat me to the punch at 6:57!

I guess those McWorkers will think twice before crossing those "ladies" again.

(Sorry, I got nothin').

They're serving punch?! :-)

When I was 15 I lied about my age to get a job at McDonald's (because they only could hire 16 year olds.) My job was to mop the lobby, clean the bathrooms, sweep the parking lot, wash windows, and any other awful chore you could think of. The McDonald's was frequented by drug dealers and prostitutes on a break. One day, while cleaning the restrooms I knocked on the women's bathroom door to make sure nobody was inside. When nobody responded I went in and started mopping. When I opened one of the stalls there was a 300+lb Samoan hooker buck-naked and spread eagle in the stall. She said "Come here honey!"

In my effort to evacuate the bathroom I apparently turned into Cosmo Kramer, falling over the mop, sliding on the floor, and running into the door that opened inwards pinning myself in for a second.

I eventually got out. It was the 2nd worst day working there...Worst job ever... :-(

You want guys with that?

Ugh, that's beautiful!

*wipes tear*

Ugh......that's 2nd worserist

oh, and were you able to get the price down?

oh, and were you able to get the price down?

oops

The worst day was when I was "promoted" to cooking. I worked with a bunch of gang bangers and thugs... I have no idea why they were working there (probation maybe?) but they were nice enough and left me alone. One day while pulling a double shift one of my co-workers (picture this... he was about 5' 2", had a big afro, and when he wasn't at work he walked around with a bowler hat - he looked like a thug version of Catfish from Jabberjaw) took too long a break. The ASSistant manager (who was about 5'2" also and weighed about 52 lbs.) went out to yell at him to come in to work. Long story short, he told the assistant manager to f-off and the assistant manager told him to turn in his uniform and get out.

Later that evening me and another "cook" had just looked up and were cleaning the grills when we heard a smash. We looked up and saw Catfish and his cronies coming through the smashed front door screaming the assistant manager's name. My co-worker and I ran down stairs, took the unlocked lock off of the front of the walk-in freezer, went inside, and shut and locked the door. The assistant manager baracaded the door leading down to the stairway and started pounding on the freezer for us to let him in while the door upstairs was being broken in by Catfish and his "school" of thugs.

We opened up the pass-through (which is a hatch about the size of a human head on the front door of the freezer) and he begged us to let him in. We told him he was mouthing off when he shouldn't have so he needed to go away. (Yeah, brave of us... but for $3.35 an hour I'm about as brave as a 4 year old girl... you want a pre-teen boy that'll take about $10.00 an hour!) The assistant manager started crying and then it was silent up top.

Turns out the police arrived and arrested everyone. The assistant manager was fired for the way he handled the firing and me and the other guy got coupons for a free meal (well worth risking my life for 9 oily compressed chicken parts covered in pseudo-bread).

Like I said, worst job ever! :-)

Nice, Ugh. Get thee to a dictionary.

wow, Ugh...that job is WAY worserer than my first job at a retail store...during Christmas.

Ugh - TELL me your parents didn't know about this. Sheesh.

you were young, had your health, what the hell did you want with a job???

My first job was walls, floors, and plumbing in a 1940s wood-frame office building on an Army post. I used to watch happy children skip to their beatings at their MacDonalds' jobs and say, "some day."

My first job was also at McDonald's, but thank God it was nothing like this!

My first job would have been at McDonalds. I respectfully declined. Ended up in a retail store (Lurias) as a salesperson. It was just going to be for the Christmas season but they ended up keeping me as a cashier and eventually the night/weekend bookkeeper. That's where I met the future ex. Fun times for 3 years, except during the dreaded "inventory" weekend.

"Three men dressed in drag...came into a McDonald's restaurant and started swinging."

Am I the only one that thought of a completely different kind of swinging? I was? Ok, then.

A troublesome trio of transvestites WBAGNFAsomething.
My first job was training baby ducks to go down a slide at the Dutchess County Fair. I worked in the baby animal tent with Nicky Seeger, Pete Seeger's son. No transvestites missing their McNuggets.

Not my first job, but one of the most creepy was back in the late 60's working for a "National" Pest control service. In Florida!! Eradicating roaches was our main calling, but other vermin would occasionally enter our crosshairs.
This was the summer of '68, I think, and my boss sent me on a rat-killing mission. He gave me the address of the infestation, small farm on the outskirts of Tallahassee; some instructions on what to do and, most importantly, a canister of Cyanide powder! Now I wasn't the Mensa guy at school, but I knew Cyanide was bad stuff. After all, I had read spy novels, Ian Fleming for one, and I knew Cyanide may kill you. The only instruction for using the Cyanide powder, was to stay up-wind of the rat hole you pumped the Cyanide into. No mask. No bio-hazard suit. No goggles. Just a stainless steel cylinder with a pump handle at one end and a flexible tube at the other. To introduce the poisonous powder into the rat hole, you inserted the flexible tube into a rathole, pumped the T-handle at the other end and hoped for the best.
I completed the job. Upon graduation from FSU the following year I went to Vietnam, and was secure in the knowledge that I had already cheated death one time and would do so again.

Kristie - uh, uh.

;-)

Fun, first-job story. One of my beloved neices is very and she and I have locked horns. I found her 'passed out' on the floor once when she was around 7 and didn't buy it. She was covering hundreds of candy wrappers by pretending to be asleep. Thing is, she just isn't going to college... her first job was for a small business and they won't let her go. She's growing, the business is growing, and I would feel like a hypocrite if I pushed her harder to get back in school. She has a nice boyfriend, a nice place to live, her company pays her very well and has given her a car/allowance, and she would otherwise be a Sophomore in college. Sometimes, that first job works out well.

My worst job ever was as an operator at an answering service. We called it "The Dysfunctional Family Robinson." Three business owners merged their operations. The owner of the alarm company was having an affair with the owner of one of the answering services, then started up with the owner of the other answering service six months later.

To top it all off, they kept moving the eligibility dates for raises whenever their star employees would be close to acheiving them. (6 months for a .50 cent raise and medical became 9 months, a year, 18 months.) Then, they rehired a woman who had assaulted one of the managers and put them both on the same schedule.

When I left, I called them 15 minutes before my shift was supposed to start and told them I was giving a retroactive 2 weeks notice.

I cannot believe I was with them for over a year and a half...

Igloo ... Welcome Home ...

One of my beloved neices is very and she and I have locked horns.

very what?? horny?

*ducks*

Do people actually read all the crap people type here? I won't even read this.

Great stories, people.

Siouxie - it's CJ - I suggest adding 'stubborn'. ;)

Annie, I don't know..I'm not reading this crap ;-P

Am I the only one reading CJ's crap?
CJ - tell us your idea again about water purification systems in Iraq.

*snork* @ AWBH

hey, fearless weiner.....I got your crap right here

Time to open the blog bar?

*giggles @ Jazzzz*

did someone say the bar was open?

WYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I've been sitting on my barstool, just a-waitin'.

If I had to fight with my stilettos, I'd be pissed off the worsiest.

I dunno Sio. I got into a fight once wearing designer magenta pink suede 5" platforms (and the cutest little skirt from Bennetons). Outside of a bar. In North Idaho. Go Figure. I clocked and nearly knocked out a rather mouthy fellow. I say, never sass a girl unless you are ready to rumble.

Yo, jazzzz, we don't meet often enough.

Hearin' some mighty good stories while I wait for the blogbartender to open.

Gee, and to think they wouldn't hire me at the Burger Chef (local rip-off of Burger King. I got a job at a retail store in Louisvillle (Stewart's). It was a good job and a great store, but downtowns being what they are, it closed down right after I met my second husband via mail and moved out of Louisville again - this time to to NJ. The department store is now an office building and a historical landmark.

Someone should write a book about horrible first jobs..... ya'll got me beat.

And ftr, if I take off my earrings, we're gonna rassle. No stiletto's involved.

Hey, Med. Did you meet w/ school officials today?

Hi all, I would have posted sooner, but I was too busy not reading all the posts. HAR

I used to work as a veterinary assistant, and my boss died very suddenly, leaving me without a job. I had to find another job quickly, so took a spot at the first clinic I could find. It turns out that vet was a complete control freak. I once was giving him the run down on an appointment and told him a lady's dog HAD puppies and wanted to have them checked. The vet took me into the room and proceeded to berate me in front on the woman, telling me the dog didn't HAVE the puppies, she WHELPED them. And then went on and on and on about how he thought her dog had eaten the puppies since I used the word 'had'. The dog's owner actually stood up, looked me in the eye and said, "I can't believe he is being so rude to you!", then she turned to the vet and said, "I'm leaving and never coming back!" I quit the next day.

Also there was a client at that clinic who was a stripper. She who would come in with her frro-froo doag and pay in cash with $1 bills. I swear to God. *shudders*

And she brought her froo-froo dog in too...(along with the frro-froo doag)

gjd, thanks for asking. I have not met with school officials yet, but I have been rocking the boat like a small hurricane.

Funny, when you email the Superintendent a LONG letter about the situation and include the word "attorney", sh!t starts to happen.

I can understand the vets confusion. I mean, I HAD an ice cream cone this evening, and that means that I ate it and didn't whelp it. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever actually whelped. It is kind of fun to say, though.

*whelp whelp whelp*

*wonders where everyone is going*

*figured no one reads this cr@p anyhow*

you said it, Wyo. I had to flip to "Cabinet Guys" and look around

Hey El, isn't a doag bigger than a dog?

You go, girl! No messin' with Mama's kids!

First job was the brand new Baskin-Robbins near Westbury Square. Worked there for $1/hr for almost a year until just before I turned 16. Then a guy came in with a .22 pistol and held me up. (How high?) My mom made me quit, bless her. So I went to work at the Jack-In-The-Box a couple doors down. ;-) For a month. :-) Then we moved to fabulous Yabucoa. The summer after high school, I got to be an electrician on the Sunoco refinery construction job. Some interesting stories, but they require time to sit and share long drinks. (A wildcat strike pamphlet entitled "It Moves Us To Laugh" was one of the many highlights.)

Before PR & BR I mowed lawns (a real treat in Houston summers!), including for the woman who did the radio voice of "Janet Wentworth" for Weingartens, which Doc Rick may remember.

ellie, doesn't everbody die suddenly? Jes' sayin'.

awrite Med! rasslin' !!! I'm getting extra virgin olive oil...(nuttin' but class here)

My first non-child-care job (had many of those) was in my college's dining hall. I worked all but my last semester (when I was away student teaching), and did virtually every job it is possible to do in such an establishment.

Dances, no. My grandmother took 15 years to die. just sayin'. (no, don't take that wrong, I'm over it. no cards an' poor Wyo messages please. it is/was what it is/was.)

I have mixed feelings about the kudos. My son cried all the way home tonight about the last couple of months and the teasing about "his video." Trying to work through the channels was a dead end and has cost him dearly.

I told the principal and the director of transportation that I am not looking for cash... no amount of money can undo the humiliation of 4000 views on Utube.

I got him to stop crying and laugh tonight when I admitted that I don't have all of the answers. The same A$$holes taunted me, which did not make me less of a person. I decided one day, consciously, that I am smart, pretty, and kind, and no words from a bunch of a$$holes could change that.

I must have said A$$hole about a dozen times, and told my children that those A$$holes would grow up and still be A$$holes, and that they are engaged in the A$$hole Olympics.... a competition to see who is the biggest, gaping rectum.

I don't know when, during my diatribe, my children decided Mom is CRAZY and RIGHT and FUNNY..... but they got the messages.....

Extra virgin olive oil...That comes from really ugly olives, right?

nope Jazzzz, a doag is a dog in drag! Making a nice linky back to where we started up there waayyy at the top. Ok, I made that up, a doag is what happens when you type too fast.

And I dunno dwv, Red Foxx was all, "I'm comin' Elizabeth, I'm comin' to meet ya" and clutching his chest and he didn't actually die until YEARS later.

LOL, gjd.

Jazzz.... I have a mean double leg takedown straight to a fireman's carry. And I am not shy with the bararm. just. sayin.

med knows what she's talkin' about, btw. just sayin'

A$$holes or rasslin' Wyo? *blushes*

Wait! Maybe there's a connection.

My spelling is worser when I'm tired...

LOL gjd

Hey look everyone, gjd just gave birth to puppies!! Or is that ice cream??

Meh. The first sewage treatment plant in Anbar province is coming on line next week, and I'm in Florida. The first, ever, in history.

I have 4.5 weeks left in my current job and would love to be working on that stuff over there, making decent money and doing a decent thing.

I happen to think it's a useful job at a good pay rate, but crossgirl is cross and disagrees. I only bring this up because Annie is sticking her tongue out and I spent the day in the field with my boss, plus offered him a chance to buy into my business idea, when I knew he was assigned to beat me up and keep me in the firm.

Honestly, I know wastewater at the Ed Norton level. No person that has actually eaten vegetables goes into confined-space toxic environments, more than me. I work for a firm that does that and I always take the tough assignments. For one more month.

crossgirl has explained to me that this is not an option if I hang out with her, so I have 4.5 weeks to find a safer job. I kinda thought my job was very safe, me being not killed and all.

She explained, "La la la la la la la." That's a heck of an argument.

wrestling, Med. rasslin' is somethin' we never admit to our folks. "but Dad, we were just talkin!" yeah, right.

CJ, life (as you well know) is full of choices. I've been to South West Asia, and done good things there. I've gotten to know cg, just a little.

in my opinion, you'd be better off with the crossgirl. but that's just my opinion.

Job? What is this thing called "job" of which you speak? hehe

We musta gone to the same HS, Wyo. ;-)

I AM reading this crap, and *snorkin'*™ my gaping rectum off.

Wait, Jazzz.... that makes you "no one" and you are someone special to us. Cuz you can write 'scrips. ;-)

Gaping rectum WBAGNFARB...if it isn't already.

Wyo (and ellie), sorry, it was a lame joke wishing to grow up into a wry observation, based on an experience from years ago. I'd gotten back in touch with a number of friends from my Houston days, some of whom had also drifted away to parts north. I relayed the sad news that one of the old gang had recently died, and was asked by one guy, "was it sudden?" His meaning was clear enough (English is his second language): Was it unexpected? It struck me as (morbidly) funny. No matter how long it takes, in the end, it's still sudden. Time of death, and all. Long declines kill the humor, of course, far worse than a long joke explanation. That's why Dave's writing the books and I'm horsing around with computers and physicists.

If it helps any, I'll could add that it's not your fault. :-|

Well, the comment did "crack" up two adolescents tonight.... just sayin'.

Oh, Jazzzz. You HAD to go there, didn't ya? *sets up brainbleach drip*

I AM SUMBODY!!!! ...who knew?

Diva...have you ever tried snorking a gaping rectum? it ain't easy

'Scuse me. I'll be in the bathroom if y'all need me.

*runs out screaming*

Promise?

*Smacked* with a wet floor sign? *Smacked*? Doesn't that seem a little suspicious? Were these actual cross-dressers or blogals disguised as cross-dressers?

*flushhhhhhhh*

Ah. Much better.

What's that smell?

Jazzzz, since you inflicted that, you got any anesthesia for me as payment? ;-)

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