STRUMPDATE: NEW YORK CITY
One of the things that give New York City its distinctive quality is the Giant Early-Morning Banging Machine Program (GEMBMP). Every weekday at about 3 a.m. city workers fire up giant diesel-powered banging machines, which rumble around midtown Manhattan banging things as hard as possible. From time to time they back up, emitting, for safety purposes, a piercing BEEP BEEP BEEP sound that is audible in Maine. This program protects hotels guests in midtown from the dangers of sleep, which has been linked, in medical studies, to productivity.