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October 22, 2007

24

In last week's episode, Jack ended up in an episode of The Flintstones, where for a while he became Jack Boulder of the Cro-Magnon Tactical Unit, in which capacity he produced an early prototype of the taser, consisting of a piece of carpet and a pair of socks. Edgar is still dead. We give you now The™ Amazing™ Steve™, who has done a fine job with the plotting so far, without even once jumping the shark.

Flying_shark
(Photo from Herald Hunt slideshow by Patrick Farrell)

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24 – Two Days Later – Hour 22

The following takes place between 4 pm and 5 pm

4:00 pm – Jack, Chloe, Morris and Bill are standing next to two white poles. They look around for a moment, and realize there are many more white poles all around them. An eerie deserted feeling comes over them. Bill says, “I don’t like this. Where are all the people?” Morris looks up and says, “Better question: What the heck are those things?”

Everyone looks up and sees a large circular platform at the top of each pair of poles. Chloe says, “Either we’re in the future, or Seattle has gone crazy with that Space Needle design.”

4:03 p m- Jack uses some binoculars he finds in the Batman utility belt he’s still wearing, and scans the sky. He points off into the distance as he watches, and says, “It looks like a stream of flying cars over there!”

Chloe says, “That’s still not much of a hint. Are we in Seattle or not?”

Bill suddenly yells, “Jack! Look out!”

4:04 pm -Jack turns around just in time to be bowled over by a grey blur that hits him fast and hard, knocking him to the ground.

The object that hit Jack turns and heads back, slowing down. It’s a dog…wearing a jet pack.

The dog makes noise that sounds like, “Ruh Ro.” as he slows down to where Jack fell.

4:06 pm - Jack rubs his head, and sees the dog. He says “Great… Just great. Talking dogs…” and then passes out.

Commercial

4:11 pm - Jack wakes up. He’s lying on the floor, surrounded by Chloe, Morris and Bill. Jack says, “I had the strangest dream! You were there… and you… and you! I was in a far-away land, traveling to the Emerald City…”

Chloe slaps Jack, “Snap out of it and quit screwing around! We have to figure out where to go!”

A man runs into the room. “Is he OK? Where do you have to go? You’re not going to sue are you?” He falls to his knees, “Oh, please! Don’t sue! I have two kids, a wife, a dog, and a robot to feed! Mr. Spacely will be so mad! Please!”

Jack sits up, “Calm down! I’m not going to sue! Where are we? Who are you?”

The man says, “George Jetson. You’re in my house!”

Jack introduces everyone, and then asks, “Why would we sue you?”

George looks surprised to hear Jack say this. “What? What do you mean?”

Jack says, “Well, it was an accident, right? Why would I sue you for that?”

George looks suspicious and says, “It’s how you earn your living? Half the population are lawyers, and the other half sue… You’re not from around here are you?”

4:15 pm - Jack says, “No, as a matter of fact we’re not.” He sizes up George, and decides he’s O.K. “You have to promise not to tell anyone… We’re time travelers.”

George says, “And…?”

Bill says, “What do you mean, ‘and?’ Doesn’t that surprise you?”

4:16 pm - George says, “Why should that surprise me? My son was off on a time-travel field trip last week! He went to 2010, to listen to the Big Diddy Gore and the “I Was Just Kidding” concert tour…”

Chloe says, “Big … You mean Al Gore?”

George exclaims, “Oh! You’ve heard of him! He was really big back in 2010. Toured all over the country after the fight.”

Chloe asks, “Fight? What fight? You mean the 2000 election?”

George scoffs. “Pffft! That was nothing! He got into it with some of the candidates for flying around in jets during the 2008 election cycle, and decided to bag the whole election thing. He started wearing his Nobel Prize around his neck and created a rap group.”

Morris says, “And he was famous for this? For this rap music?”

George says, “For a while, but…”

4:19 pm - Jack interrupts, “This is all really fascinating, but we came here to do a job, not to find out who the latest rap artists will be in…. What year did you say this was?”

A woman’s voice calls from the other room. “George, dear! We’re home!”

The dog goes bounding out of the room, saying “Roh Roy!”

4:20 pm - George motions for everyone to follow him, and they go into the next room. A woman is standing in the kitchen with a young boy and a white haired young woman.

George says, “Let me introduce you. This is my wife Jane, my son Elroy, and my daughter Judy.”

Morris mutters, “Daughter? That white hair makes her look like a grandma!”

Chloe slugs him in the shoulder.

4:22 pm - Jane says, “Everyone’s still out on vacation. The stores weren’t crowded at all. We had…

Jack says, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we really need to get some information. Do you have a computer we can use?”

Elroy speak ups, “Sure! I got one with my cereal.” He points to a small capsule tied to a square box.

Chloe picks up the capsule. “This is a computer? That’s amazing!”

Elroy takes the capsule out her hand. “That’s the cereal.” He hands her the box, “This is the computer.” He walks away, saying “Geesh! Grown-ups! Come on, Astro!” He and Astro leave.

Chloe stares at the box in her hand. “How do I use this? What does it run?”

Jane says, “That runs the latest and greatest from Microsoft: Windows XP!”

Morris asks, “Windows XP?”

Jane says, “Oh, you know… They keep coming out with new operating systems every couple of years, but everyone wants to use something kind of stable, so we just keep going back to Windows XP, even for the toy computers like that one.”

Chloe says, “Well, how do I use it?”

4:25 pm - Jane takes the box from Chloe’s hand, and places the box on the table. She presses both sides at once, and 42 inch video panel appears in mid-air, just floating there. Jane says, “It’s a bit of a toy, like I said. It only has three exabytes of storage, and a 400 terahertz CPU. It should be good enough for browsing on the Internet.”

Chloe stares at the video screen. It’s still dark.

Chloe asks, “Why isn’t doing anything yet?”

Jane says, “I told you, it’s running Windows! It’s still booting!”

Commercial

4:32 pm - Jack and Bill stand near the window overlooking the rest of the buildings. He asks George, “Where is everyone? You’re the only people we’ve seen, except for those airplanes out there.”

George says, “Those aren’t airplanes. That’s the expressway. Anyway, everyone’s down in Miami for The Herald Hunt. Biggest event in the country. It’s in its 74th year. The Herald Hunt is run by Dave Barry and Tom Shroeder…”

Jack says, “Yeah, I know what it is. I was there last year… Wait a minute, how could those guys be running it still? Wouldn’t they be…” He counts on his fingers, and gives up. “Really old by now?”

George says, “Oh, they’re still around. I think they were the ones that discovered your body could be preserved by beer. Anyway, a few years ago, they decided to let computers handle the whole thing. They did a personality download to the computers to create puzzles for the Hunt.”

Bill says, “Why did they do that?”

George says, “They used to make the puzzles themselves, but it got to the point where the people solving the puzzles were SO good at it, they were solving the Hunt before the Hunt started. After that happened, Tom and Dave decided to switch to computers.”

Jack asks, “Did that work?”

George says, “Oh, yeah… Now it does. It took a few weeks to get the computers started up though. When they first started the download, it filled up 45 terabytes with booger jokes before it started working on Hunt puzzles.”

4:37 pm - Jane walks over to Jack and tells him he has a phone call. She presses a button on the wall, and a large video phone descends from the ceiling. Fenster is on the screen.

Fenster says, “Jack! I’m glad I got you! Ex-Secretary of Defense Heller is REALLY mad. He drove off a couple cliffs within the last couple of hours alone. He wants to hold CTU accountable for Audrey’s disappearance. He’s threatening to shut the place down!”

Jack responds, “Now, excuse me if I’m mistaken here…. But you’re talking about Ex-Secretary of Defense Heller, right?”

Fenster says, “Right…”

Jack says, “He’s an ‘EX’ Secretary! Let him drive off all the cliffs he wants to. What’s he going to do? He’s not in the position to do anything anyway. I’ll look for Audrey when we get out of this mess. Get Nadia to get some help over there, to get us out of here!” He presses a button and the video phone retracts into the ceiling.

4:42 pm - Chloe says, “Hey, Jack! I got it working! You have to come and see this!”

Jack and Bill walk over to Chloe and she points at the screen. “You see that? That’s the CTU website!”

The web page she’s pointing at reads: “Welcome to CTU: Comforting Terrorism Unit”.

Jack yells, “Comforting?! That’s just wrong!! What’s happened to our CTU?!”

4:46 pm - Jack asks George to take them over to CTU headquarters. They get into George’s flying car. Chloe asks how they fuel it. George tells her that they’ve found that by capturing all the hot air and methane generated in Washington D.C, they were able to supply most of the country’s fuel needs.

Commercial

4:51 pm - They arrive at a building covered with painted flowers and the letters CTU perched on top of it.

Bill says, “This looks like something out of the sixties!”

Chloe looks at Morris and says, “If you say ‘groovy’, I’m going to taser you.”

4:53 pm - They walk towards the building, and see a small display in front of a fountain. On the display, there’s a picture of a rabbit and a wolf holding paws. The plaque reads:

“Dedicated to all those terrorists who are just so gosh darn hard to convince that bombing, shooting, and hostage taking are bad things. We hope that through our continued efforts, we’ll get an understanding of why they are so mad at us. We also hope that they’re not doing bad things while we wait for their next moves, so we can make the world a better place through hugs and pats on their thighs.

Signed,

Jacques Bauer – Head of CTU – Comfort Terrorism Unit”

Jack looks like he’s about to throw up. He asks, “What’s going on around here? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever read! Hugs? Pats on the thigh?! Is this guy kidding??”

4:55 pm - They walk into the building where the doorman hands them each a flower. They walk up to the receptionist. Jack says, “I want to talk to this Jacques Bauer, right now! There are some terrorists on the loose around here somewhere, and we need to talk to him right away!”

The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but he’s in a meeting right now can can’t be disturbed.” She glances over at the conference room behind her. Jack sees this, heads for the door and opens it.

4:57 pm - Two figures at the end of the conference room are hugging. A man says, “There! Isn’t that so much better! A nice hug will help get that hostility out!”

Jacques turns, and Chloe says, “Jack! That could be your brother! …Er, I mean if you still had a brother.”

Jack says, “Shut up, Chloe!”

A metallic voice says, “Yes, shut up, Chloe! Jack and I have some business to deal with.” The figure turns, and it’s the same hooded figure they’ve been following. “Your days of following me around have ended! With this device, I’ll send you all to a place where you can’t do any harm!”

Jack runs towards him, and ZAP! There’s a flash of light. Jack’s gone.

Chloe yells, “Again with the melodrama…” The figure points the device, and ZAP! Chloe, Morris and Bill are gone too.

Jacques looks at the hooded figure, and says, “Now, what did I tell you about hostility? Hug it out!” He tries to go for another hug, but the hooded figure pushes a button on a wrist watch, and disappears in a flash of light.

4:59 pm – Jack, Bill, Chloe and Morris find themselves standing on the sidewalk of an urban street.

5:00 pm - Time’s up!

Tonight, everybody has to 'jump the shark'.

Whohoo!

"Comfort Terrorism Unit." I'm guessing that Al Gore may have been kidding about that whole global warming thing, but he still was serious about being President...?

And...yet again...Edgar's picture is gross!

...And obviously in Miami, the shark jumps you.

At least at Herald Hunt time, anyway.

*snork*@Wes

Applause for the Amazing Steve
If he ever stops, we'll grieve
With Big Diddy Gore
Dave, the Jetsons, and more
I'm wiping my eyes with my sleeve!

OT: Hey, JD! Are you psychic, or what, warning me not to jinx my kitchen completion? When the guy showed up Saturday, he had to promptly leave because I was about to lose power. And that was because my neighbor's 30-ft tree limb had come down on the power line. That was fortunate, actually, because it kept the damage to my roof and car fairly minor.

"Riveting."

Signed, Rosie

Where oh where are the blogettes? 1(!) day later and no reports back.

*taps foot*

(checks stance)

*taps foot*

I'd bet they're sleeping off a three-day bender, Cheryl. That and they'll have to check their cholesterol.

OMG Steve!! I just want you to have a Jetsons' time-travel special!! That is my favorite episode to date.

I need a nap from the hunt.

LOL Cheryl. There's the difference between men and women. With women, the hand under the stall is to rescue the poor soul "next door" whose roll ran out of TP. Men? Well, for a similar motion, they evidently get arrested.

Richard, I am SO sorry for your toppled tree mishap! It's just that I've seen so many strange things happen, right when a project is almost completed, that I hold my breath until the last subcontractor pulls out of the driveway (safely).

Yikes, Richard. We lost half a tree out front this morning. Power lines are underground, thank goodness.

Cheryl - I'm guessing CJ is howling his way thru watching the Indy game.

I'm back in the ATL- you wouldn't believe the drama today!

/begin hijack blog for bloggette drama

Siouxie, Meditrina, Cross Girl, CJ and I all went to Homestead to see this amazing prehistoric stalker artwork. OK- maybe not a prehistoric stalker- actually a mid-20th century short guy with an obsession with some woman named Agnes, who attempted to show his love for her by carving amazing sculpture out of coral (the pictures are uploading now- check my blog in a little while, though dave's Angels are there now). So we get back to Siouxie's house to load up for the airport and we discover that her car is slap out of oil and there is a big puddle under it. We call Suzy Q to the rescue, who then drives us all to the airport so Siouxie can rent a car (CJ and CG already left). I caught my flight (no more airsick DAs, but religious zealots this time. I'm the one ready to hurl, so I just moved and I got better)

So I called Siouxie to let her know I got to Atlanta safely and Med tells me that 10 minutes after getting the rental car she was rear-ended. The car, I mean.

I need to go back to work so I can fight darwin and avoid all the drama!!
/end blog hijack

Ohh- an Annie smoky simul!

Are you safe?

ddd - compared to your hijinx, yes, I'm safe, thanks for asking. Yipes.

ddd, just im'in' with med. you gals (an CJ) had one helluva day.

WWYYYOOOOOOOOO!!

We did! It sure was fun!!

Glad you and yours are safe, Annie.

See y'all later- I'm tired and Mr. ddd is too.

Good night all!!!!

Wowser, ddd! Glad you made it back safely, but yikes!

Wyooooo! Is Siouxie ok? How 'bout Med?

Appreciate the thoughts. As I say, thanks to the power line catching the limb, damage was minor. It just dented the car roof a bit, tore loose the downspout, and flattened the gutter cover.

Nothing compared to Annie's neck of the woods, or ... I hope Siouxie is OK, too?

ddd-omg total soap opera.

So we need to know:
a) Who is having CJ's baby?
b) Was the disabling of Sio's car intentional? If yes: Was the Damira family (Days) behind it?
c) Why were they after Med?

I can't wait to hear the back story!

ducky they're fine. Siouxie's car will be checked out tomorrow.

I think Indy is having CJ's team....for dinner.

How are we gonna top this next year?

what was the topic? (sorry, Steve)

*Snork* @ Cheryl's soap opera!

Wyo, thank goodness. All of the bloggers have a special place in my heart. (I think y'all are all in the left ventricle, but I could be wrong.)

Must flap off for awhile! Everyone stay safe!

Good to know everyone is safe. I mean I knew everyone would be. I wasn't scared. But it's still a nice thing to hear.

Sorry about that car, Richard. But at least you weren't in it.

Almost forgot to mention Steve's Amazingness. Won't happen again.

Also good that Siouxie took it in the rear of a rental, not her own.

Car.

But you knew that.

ok guys!! I am here with Med (who's in my daughter's computer)

Meanie, very true. Med and I HAD to laugh about it though. Luckily the stoopid Cuban dude's car hit over a ding that was already recorded on the rental so I let it go.

Welcome to Miyami!!

OK hadda run downstairs for a sec and couldn't help but peek- Oh yeah- sorry! Left y'all with a cliffhanger!

Siouxie is fine (as is med).

Siouxie! I'm so glad y'all are ok!

(How did Med get in your daughter's computer?)

HIYA SIOUXIE!!! HIYA MED!!!

dddddddddddddddddddd!! I MISS YOU ALREADY!!!

Ducky, thanks! we took over the computers tonight!

ddd?? Wyo has added a couple of our gal group shots on this site too! and I love our "Dave's Angels" one on yours!!

I am uploading pix (cye for linky thing, just remember it is still in progress). I'll also load to public page.

Love the pix, Wyo! cye.

Seriously, I really have to thank SuzyQ for coming to the rescue today. She was off from work today and got ddd to the airport in time. Good to have good local friends too!!

Hi, Roomie! Love those Pajamas.

And FTR, when the car got hit, I couldn't control myself and broke out in fits of hysterical, punch drunk laughter....

Q was always one of my fav 007 characters..... and she came through today as brilliantly as in the movies! And she has red hair..... and oh yeah, she took us to Perimeter Drive, and I swear I saw Jack!

I will say this...I haven't had this much fun in SUCH a LONG time. Meeting these crazy gals has been such a pleasure. (I've met the brilliant CJ before). Crossgirl is as cute and funny as she is on here and I was SO happy that she made it. ddd, my simul buddy...is one HOT doc and she's got such a gorgeous smile and personality...it's addictive. Med...what can I say...she is such a lush (j/k). She's been my friend on here for a long time and is just the same in person. Crossgirl said it best today when I told her that we've all become "better" friends...she said..no..we've become REAL friends. BINGO!! I love you all and I am blessed that you are part of my life. GOOD TIMES!!!

This weekend has been like one awesome slumber party...an adult one... with booze

*sniff* I love you guys!

Let's go to Denny's&trade!

and obscenities!

surely not, ddd!! and I thought you were all ladies of the finest order!

we ARE ladies...who swear like truckers when drunk...ya'll still respect us right??? RIGHT?

*crickets*

Ok. Where we all goin' next weekend?

CJ's in the doghouse because his team only scored 7 measly points tonight, causing me to lose the pool tiebreaker on points scored....grrrrr.....

Annieeeeeeee!! are YOU OK!!??????

(((bloggals)))

I'm off to bed. It was 90 and sunny yesterday, but a cold front came through early this morning. It didn't get out of the 50's today, was windy and rainy, and instead of lows in the high 60's, it's supposed to be 47 tonight. Time to break out the flannel feathers! ;-)

See y'all tomorrow. Nighty-night! Sweet dreams!

Hey, I'm fine. I didn't get rear-ended. NTTAWWT.
;) Glad to see you survived the bloggette-invasion.

Annie- my place, only you have to bring your own water- we are parched!

ddd - we're not exactly floatin' in it out here. 4% humidity today. And beer is cheaper than water, so....

Oh I did survive it...loved it. You HAVE to make it next year.

Annie, to be fair to CJ the Jags starting QB went out in the 2nd quarter and the unknown backup performed VERY unknown backup-like. That being said, glad you and your family are ok. Got a little worried about y'all this weekend.

I think we're calling it a night...gotta get up early in the morning.

Sweet dreams!!! Hi Rick...Bye Rick!!

Bye back at ya Siouxie! Sweet dreams!

'night (for real, this time!!)

Annie- keep uh... flame-retardant!

Hey, Rick!! Glad to see you here. :) Missed talking to you yesterday over the game.

Doc - sorry I missed the game. I was hoping to add $ to my shoe budget. Maybe next week. Siouxie - definitely there next year. It will take me that long to stand the smell of bbq again. Take care of your back - whiplash stuff shows up a day or so later.

ddd - thanks. Pouring Coors on the flames seems to kill them quickest.

Yeah, Annie. Pour it on straight, though. It doesn't work as well once it's been... "processed".

My plans of domestic bliss during yesterday's thrilling Titans/Texans matchup went out the window early on Diva. Suffice it to say everybody changed their plans on me starting at exactly kickoff. I missed most of the 3rd and 4th quarters. *kicks 22lb house cat...breaks foot...cat looks un-phased. Man I'm having a crummy run of luck.

And for the record, I really didn't kick the cat. The couch, but not the cat. Both are inanimate objects.

((((Doc)))) Sounds like your day yesterday was a crummy as my today. :-( I'm sorry.

Ahh, it weren't that bad! My house wasn't anywhere near a raging fire and I didn't have estrogenfest around it all weekend like poor CJ so it wasn't bad at all.

Hmmm... I think I'd prefer Estrofest 2007 (WBAGNFABenefitsConcert?)

Well, my evening's gone from sh!t to great and back again, so I'm playing poor me with myself, I guess. And I'm stressing over stupid stuff. At least maybe it's stupid. *sigh* I don't even know. And I'm making no sense. :-(

Point taken Scott! Although I think Estrofest is being used for the Cher impersonators tour this coming summer. Nothing says excitement like a bunch of cross-dressers touring middle-America.

Scott and El might have noticed this-
HDTV+fire scene=bad
HDTV+on scene newscasters=awful

Rick - do me a REALLY BIG FAVOR and give me a buzz. (Not like BOB that is.)

And just to be clear in case any of us out here are transvestites, the joke was pointed more at how middle-America deals with anything out of the ordinary. Trust me, I live in the southern part of it and tolerance can be a dirty word in a lot of places I know around here.

Dagnabit! I've been blocked from blogging from home since Sunday, looks like PypeTad is up to its old tricks again.

Have thoroughly enjoyed all the amazing pics of the weekend, no amount of scrubbing seems to get rid of the green tinge to my face though.

To the So-Cal bloggers, I've been switching between CNN and Sky to get all the latest on the fires. I have friends near Vista and I'm concerned about their safety as well.

I think the reason that we all manage to get on so well with each other when we meet face to face is that when we first met here on the blog, we were attracted to each other through a mental link which was un-encumbered by physical attributes, when we finally meet, the bond seems to become even stronger. This actually makes a good case for dating on the web.

May I suggest The Addams Family?

Guin,

Here's the link to Hour 7 where Jack Bauer meets The Addams Family.

Hope you like it!

Best reviews of the day about Depression, Essay on teen depression, Depression help ways and Major depression symptoms.

It is captivating to read this theory and parade of its appendix in gambling.
That I be informed about it - it concerns statistics, is applied to the conclusiveness of the nonlinear equations.
Absolutely much the explanation to the problem decidedness (for work conditions anybody so plainly expound nothing a smog) interests:
There is a teleshow - the player and the leader.
There are three doors. Behind joke of them the windfall, behind two others is not present.
The conductor offers a choosing to the gambler that justify chooses any of 3 doors (their probabilities are equal).
After the realm of possibilities is made, the gaffer who knows where lies a trophy, opens joined of those doors that are not chosen via the player and shows that there the purse is not present. Also suggests the competitor to select from time to time again already between 2 doors.
Query - how to make it to the player? (In a source it is specified that it is necessary to replace a selection, the distinct possibility of a take behind a door on which was specified by the trouper who is doing not supervise = 66.7 %.
Very much I wait in compensation councils or at least references where to look.
Representing more intersting look http://www.obu.edu/centers/images/index.html

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