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October 31, 2007

NAPERVILLE UPDATE



Here's a picture of blogster Dances With Vowels with Ridley and me. We're wearing eyepatches, and wondering how the hell pirates could see where they were going.

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Dammit. I'm like 30 minutes from Naperville tonight.

Oh well, if you come a few minutes South and need a beer, let me know.

*waves*
i need one of those for the next bucs game.

Nice shades, guys!

WTG DancesWithVowels!!!


Hey C-bol! nice to see ya...been a while!

They DIDN'T see where they were going. They bumped into things a lot. Like women. And gold. So they just took it all.

Is it me, or does it look like "Thing" is on Dave's shoulder??

Dances With Vowels seems to be the only eye patch expert of the three. The others need some remediation.

Thanks Scary Siouxie,

Been slammed. So much so that I find myself within squirrel flinging distance of Dave and Ridley and only find out about it when it is too late to go out, rent a wolf costume, get a job at a pizza place, and add brain enslavement chemicals to their food.

No, seriously, I definitely didn't have time to do that.

OMG, Siouxie! You're so right. I didn't know Thing was touring with Dave!

Oh, and, hey guys? Watch out for the Panda.

They look all nice and cuddly, but just you wait and see what happens when you stick your tongue in their ear.

*comes out from behind bar waving a pair of white panties on a pool cue that Annie left behind after a "blog rave" last July* C-bol, where did you get your brain enslavement chemicals from? I get mine from a small "distribution center" outside of Sandusky, OH. Mine charges a $5 shipping fee. Yours?

Laugh out loud, it just dawned on my that Dave and Ridley's book is about pirates! Where the hell have I been lately? I drink.

Dave would be demonstrating his ambidextrous (that would be ambidextrous in the sense of blind) eye patch technique here.

I get mine from an outfit called Doktor Jack's Brain Enslavement Emporium and Meat Pie Recycling Center, which is actually a van. Anyway, the chemicals are free when you pay for two possum embalmings, so I wouldn't know what they cost.

Wow, The Blog is fast! I live only 10 minutes from Andersons, and this was posted (and blogged on) by the time I got home.

I was impressed that he 1) recognized the name on my shirt, and 2) didn't call for security.

And that Thing is actually my hand, plus the reflection off a dustjacket. Couldn't have turned out any better!

C-bol, glad to see you.... I have missed your hilarity. (Is that a word? Oh, well. It is now.)

well jeez guys if you're gonna talk shop all night here, I may as well go back to work at the brain enslavement cent... er, state hospital ;)

Nice gray shirt.

dances - the same thing happened to me when the blog came through my town. He's so fast with that crapcam, he ought to call it the runscam.

*wishes Dave and Ridley would come to Memphis*

A group of HS girls (dressed as the spice girls) came trick or treating... one was talking on the cell phone. I told them if they were on cell phones they got no candy. She hung up.... ON HER Mother! I'm going to hell: Sioux, save me a seat near you.

I told them if they are the spice girls, I am Old Spice......

WTG DancesWithVowels!!!

Thanks, ScarySio!

The bot wanted me to type 'fmufug'. It's just jealous.

To bad, I liked Thing. Especially since I can't snap.

I control minds by using the Badger badger song.

Alfred, you mean this kind of thing, speaking of excellent, long stories for kids?

Oh, and hey, Dave and Ridster? That beer offer is still good.

You don't mind splitting a sip, right?

Potter Potter Pottter Potter Potter Potter Dumblore is Gay Gay oh hes a gay.

Well, the Jack O'Lantern is out and I'm handing off to the Mid West and the West. See ya'll on Thursday....

Sweet dreams, CJ.. :-)

Med, you forced her to hang up on the mother who bore her? Have you no mercy?

Only kidding. How were you to know?

And yay for Danceswithvowels, but normally eyepatches are worn under glasses.

That was a really bad joke. I apologize.

I still find it creepy that Dumbledore is gay. Actullay it would be equally creepy if Dumbledore was straight. To imagine that guy getting it on, not something you want to think about.

Crazy kids. Who listens to Old Spice, anyway?

I demand pictures of the HS girls!!

Edgar- Yeah, I figured it wasn't talked about in the same way no one talks about there teacher's husband.

vua-ha-ha-ha! I vant to suck your blood... This was just said to me by a person with a beard (real, I mean he was the old kind of trick or treater) I gave him his choice of candy from my basket. I quickly bolted, double bolted, triple bolted the door and have hung garlic around my neck. I'm gonna go hide under the covers now. bye

Alfred, I wasn't quick enough on the draw.... old spice, ya know. Sorry. They were really cute, but 10th graders..... jail bait. 'nuf said.

Me Snapping

Jail bait is not good.
*mumble* stupid healthier lives and hormones in food. *mumble*

I understand.
OD- Leave some rice around your house. The vampire will attempt to collect it all, and not have enough time to drink your blood.

Wouldn't it be funny if, in the midst of attacking you, a vampire paused to consider grammar?

"I want to suck your blood!"
"Okay!"
"I mean, what I meant was that I want to suck on a hole that I put in your skin with my teeth, maybe in your neck or something. I'll drink your blood. But I just feel weird saying I want to suck your hole."
"Okay!"

oops, that vampire message was for Foggiest Notion.

meditrina ... "hilarity"?

Perfectly acceptable, in casual or informal conversation. HOWever, the dictates of proper usage usually require "hilariousocityismness" in formal speech.

Merely trineta help ...

Congrats, DWV!

Anyone remember this video? Something like it almost happened on my porch tonight.

I hung from the roof over the porch what looks like a garden-variety prop skeleton, but it has a motion sensor and will begin talking when approached (most of the time, anyway -- it's a bit erratic). A dad scooting his kid toward my door got by it while hunched over, then stood up with his back to it, at which point the thing said loudly into his ear, "Hello?? Could you get me a drink, please?"

The guy damn near jumped out of his skin, flailing arms and all. It was my best 'get' all night. Wish I'd had my camera on him...

Vampires have always had personal problems.

I bet they would be awful at spelling bees.

WD - I have NEVER seen that video! That is old-school righteous! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Nah, Alfred, vampires can spell "bees." But ask them to spell haematology, and at least you have time for the wooden steak stake.

Don't vampires have better things to do than spell anything at all? They can seduce women/men with their stare and drink their blood while they do the horizontal hoochie-coochie. Why waste time on grammar when you come with built in suaveness?

Doc, ask Buffy.

AMEN, Rick!!

*flaps back in for a moment*

We had more trick-or-treaters than I expected. The usual assortment of princesses, ninjas, monsters, and cartoon characters came through. Mr. Ducky dug through the Halloween box in the garage and was wearing an ugly mask, hood & gloves when I came home. He'd been sitting in a chair outside, scaring small children handing out candy. Our l2-year-old next door neighbor was wearing clothes that I thought looked disturbingly familiar, so I asked her about her costume. She said she was a girl from the 1980's.

*Sigh*

*Eats more chocolate*

Snork w/ Duckula

Thanks, Dan. Pass me one of those Barry Beers, wouldya?

Genghis, Duckula, I'll take a Blogger Lager with a chocolate shooter if you have a spare. :) Countess, I've seen similar elsewhere. It's really scary how old that makes us.

Good evening, DarkDiva (said in best Bela Lugosi voice). It's not easy being green old. However, I don't think you qualify for geezer status just yet! ;-)

Hehe - no, I don't! But I'll take the honorary bus pass, anyway. ;-)

Beers all around! Have to come down off this sugar high. Best holiday of the year. Free candy and allows you to live outside your self for a few hours. Love it.

So....what did you dress as, Danny?

Goin' to bed now, but I've posted a few pictures of Dave and Ridley.

Ridley did a loverly Tinkerbell, BTW. But I don't think Jim Dale should worry any.

Edgar, the eyepatch is under my glasses. Hard to tell that from the CrapCam photo, tho.

BTW, thanks to all who contributed their (marvelous) ideas for the boyduckling's easy-to-do "costume" to wear to work today. He enjoyed all the suggestions, then came up with his own idea. He wore a t-shirt with "I love happy endings" printed on it, and I cut out a large red heart and pinned it to his shirtsleeve. He also carried a rose. He went as a "hopeless romantic."

He's very secure in his duckulinity.

Oh, and Yay, danceswithvowels! You looked terrific there with Dave and Ridley. Arrrrr!

dances - love the Fermilab shot. That's where my brilliant cousin started his career - in high school, the smart little sh!t. ;-) (In the building, though, not the buffalo field.)

I gave out tricks tonight. I told the few kids that came by that Hillary would fix health care, solve the war in the Middle-East, and raise Michael Jackson's career from the grave. Their parents were a little less than happy I think.

*SNORK!!!*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! It's SO TERRIFYING! BM is on Leno!

Must...get...to...remote...

*THUD*

snork!

Wait a minute...Count Duckula, your watching Leno on TIVO aren't you? Phew! I was just enough of a masochist to change the channel just then. Thank God for being broke.

*hands emergency remote to Duckula*

Breathe, Countess, breathe!!

dang... i just found my costume and now halloween's over!

*Comes to on floor by couch*

*Realizes that, mercifully, the torture is over*

No, Doc, but I was having to type very slowly because the blood had stopped flowing through my veins.

*Shudders*

Yah know, I had that very same experience years ago in my job in Waco. Some Miami humor columnist was on Oprah chatting and singing the worst songs ever recorded. I personally remember this "Dave" person singing "Muskrat Love" with a bunch of women laughing at him. Of course, I could have just dreamed the whole thing...at least I hope so.

Keep it up, Rick. You're gonna get us all kicked outta here!

Doc, what a nightmare.

And speaking of such, it's time for me to flap off to bed. Inzom, great costume--save it for next year!

Nighty-night! Sweet dreams!

Niters Duckula! Have fun hanging out with the other bats down there in the greater Austin area. :)

Coast to Coast am is doing Goast to Goast Am tonight with Art Bell hosting. Just dial the am band or hit www.coasttocoastam.com for your most local affiliate. Serious scary ghost storie.

Sorry...just SCAN the am band

stories* DOH

Its ok Wayne! Trust me, I have set records for the punctual and grammatical errors in my posts in this blog. Your safe.

Just finished Dark Water.

Man that water was dark.

*snork* @ 'your safe.'
We had hundreds of trick or treaters. I'm exhausted. Being a witch is hard work. My voice is all cackled out, I'm deaf from the creepy noise machine, and half blind from parents taking flash pix of me with their kids. I have new respect for wiccans.

Sure sign a writers' strike is coming to Hollywood - Leno did the hummus joke I told Eleanor about last week AND the tutu joke I told blurkie today.

Welcome, Letterman, Leno, and that redhead=guy writers. We IS watchin' yew!
BTW - Craig Ferguson, judi luvs you...help your own self.

My son wrote me a spooky poem and left it by my bed:
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her.
And since she was still hungry,
She ate the spider, too.

Haaaa! I'm gonna save that Annie.

Just woke from a dream. Siouxie was at my house dressed in footy pajamas handing out small boxes of wine to Trick-or-treaters. Instead of the little straws attached, there were small paper umbrellas. I blame blogger lager and global warming.

Here's a Halloween prank gone wrong to go with WriterDude's earlier video post.

(gonna try to post an active link, hope this works!)

Pwned!

Yayaya it worked!!

I know I'm a little late to the Blog Halloween party (and my posts prolly won't get read, oh well) but I've decided to post a couple more funnies. At least I can be amused!
------

Skeleton motorcycle prank

-------

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,' and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or .....' and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...

1. You keep having to go home to pee.

thanks AWbh - we wiccans have a tough job. last night was the only night of the year i could set up a circle outside with all the fixin's without appearing to be a psycho. well, i still appeared to be a psycho, but nobody took notice.

did i miss anything? i think i passed out in the candy bowl. chocolate overdosssssssssssssssssse.

Annie - re: Letterman - it wasn't just the hummus joke...ALL the jokes were bad (no reflection on you and EL, of course). Did you see the kids? and the lard? Oy!

Annie, LOVE the poem!!!

Dan, glad to know I'm keeping you awake at night...BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Good morning!!!! Happy All Stains Day for Dyslexics!

*ducks lightning bolt*

I don't know cg, I seem to have got stuck in an alternate dimension from everyone else last night. I hope we didn't miss a blog candy pigout or anything.

I love that poem, Annie.

*Gives DWV a hand* (ba-dum-bump)

Excellent job, sir. You made Dave look like one of those comic strip characters who you're supposed to know are drunk by the x's in their eyes.

Davcat - not to worry, loved your list (no. 5 is the best, IMO) and videos.

Annie, www, Having been born & raised in Salem, Mass., I'm really oversensitive to the whole witch thing. When I was growing up, NO ONE talked about what had happened. The town was (rightfully) ashamed.
Then came Elizabeth Montgomery, who came to visit Salem as a publicity stunt. Then some developer came along and turned the old working waterfront into condos and started touting "The Witch City". Other businesses followed suit, and turned Salem into the circus it is today. Now there are dozens of shops run by "witches". I understand folks wanting to follow a nature religion, but to come to Salem and exploit the poor souls of folks who vehemently denied being witches - who were NOT witches and who despised the definition of "Witch" in 1692, is in poor taste at the least, and a travesty to those killed at the worst.

/OT RANT

(Please look for my official rant in bookstores near you in the spring)

Oops, I meant "WW", anybody got any gumball flavored coffee?

*Unwraps self*

*AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!*

Meanie - That's the scariest thing I've seen all week!

Whaddya mean, "seen"?

*tosses 'eye of newt'flavored bumgall to Punkin*

I thought Salem wasn't so much about witches than the horrible power of mob fear, blind intolerance and ignorance. In Salem's case it was against 'witchcraft.' It coulda just as easily been gays, Muslims, or people with blue eyes. But hey, that's just me.

Meanie, quit flashin' the blog. It's too early in the century for that.

Davcat - good list.

Yes, Leno was lame last night. I wonder what's gonna happen without his writers. Maybe they WILL surf this blog for ideas. Weirder things have happened.

ahhhh...LTTG but...I loved Salem's Lot...does that count?? ;-P

Great list, DavCat!!


Meanie, put your thong on at LEAST!!!

Annie - it was exactly as you say - mob fear, blind intolerance and ignorance, at that time it was against "witches", but yes, it would have been directed at any person or group who was different.

So what I'm saying is, why make such an awful legacy into a theme park? Would you put a bakery on the site of the Holocaust ovens and sell cookies?

Punkin - absolutely right. And please don't give Germany any ideas.

Well, Halloween was quick here. I was out of candy by 8:30 qand the light was off - and I still had little buggers come by for treats. When I told them I was sorry, I had no candy left, they said it was all right, to have a good Halloween and thank you anyway. I'm now scared out my wits....What happend to little boys in this town? Is it something in the water? Meanie - same thing happening in Montclair?

100th! And 0th! Thanks again to Dave and Ridley and Disney and Anderson's and the Academy and my mom and Mrs. Dances who said to say hi to Sen. Craig although in my excitement I forgot and my kids, one of whom got Dave to sign our old copy of DB Does Japan, the most useful preparation for travel to the land of the rising sun she says although I've never been there m'self but Dave says everything in that book is true and I didn't even ask him to write Weasel Boogers this time like I did last time and he must have blogged that photo from the bathroom it was so fast and everything.

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