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October 26, 2007

GIFT SEASON IS COMING....

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr. We don't know why Ted was looking at this item, and we don't want to know.)

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Definitely TMI, Ted.

Doesn't everybody have one of these??

*cracks whip*

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Oh, come on. After a listing like THAT?!

research for a practical joke, but we're not spending that much for a laugh. Besides none of us have a truck to move the damn thing.

Sure, sure a "Practical Joke". We all believe you.

Hm. Ted - i'm just not buying that. Or your excuse, either. ;-)

ted, dahlink - real bondage men don't drive sedans.

*Quickly backs away from Siouxie, and arms himself just in case*

Even if you wanted it... there is not enough disinfectant in the WORLD.

Maybe Dave will buy it for research for his annual Gift Catalog (that-I'm-sure-he's-doing-again). Then, Ted, if you've been very, very good, Santa will give it to you. In more ways than one.

Looks like a cross between and Airedale and a welding machine.

Very true, Dave. Get a new one.

ted, likely excuse.

Those ARE oil stains in the driveway, right? Maybe not from a car....sigh...

If I put one of those out on my driveway the trash haulers would take it. And leave me a thank you note.

Can it be driven around to parties?

Cheezwhiz - and thomas the tank engine

CJ - it can be driven around to pasties.

The scary part is the operator's manual weighs more than the bench.

Exactly, Dave. For that price he should at least throw in a few boxes of Sani-wipes.

*shudders*

P.S. I actually have a similar appliance, but Art Deco vintage with a nice mahagony veneer. And, no IANMTU.

You can get equally good results with eyebolts and rope. At least that's what I've heard...

some people think they can foist this tacky stuff on the public. da noive! and you're right about the disinfectant..... and um, wouldnt that be... cold? never mind. Ted, just stick with ogling women and giving away barry bumper stickers.

I have the fantasy bondage bench, which is the standard bondage bench...

I'd like the deluxe model, please.

*hides whip*

*WAVES @ Hammie!!!*

So if you go to the L.A. craigslist and type in bench, there are multiple hits for bondage benches. Multiple! Is selling used sex devices/furniture common practice out there in la-la land?

Five hunnert bucks and no built in beer cooler?!

*hands Hammie eyebolts and rope*

What?

CJ - I need pictures.

Abbe, they all dated the same woman.

BTW, is it me or is the bot really pms'd today?

I wonder if he....delivers.

Annie, are you waiting on a... package?

Actually, Siouxie wanted to know.

P.S. I actually have a similar appliance, but Art Deco vintage with a nice mahagony veneer. And, no IANMTU.

Posted by: CJrun | 02:29 PM on October 26, 2007

************************

Hey there big guy, how YOU doin?


ISIANMTU
When I first read the headline, I thought it said "Goat season is coming". Then I read the article. Then I poked my eyes out with a spork. Then I poured bleach into the empty sockets.

I think I also will need some of that disinfectant for my eyes and brain now. You know, what some people do in their private life, I really don't wanna know. I mean, what if your friend took you into their garage and showed you that and told you all the "things" they've done on it. YOu would never see them the same way again. Instead of saying, "Hey, there's Ted! (haha!)" you think, "Oh, ugh, there's the bondage sexer! I hope he washed his hands!"

casey, I believe this contraption works with goats too.

Hammie told me.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha casey!!!!!!!! Girlfriend, I been MISSIN' you!!!

Siouxie - that was baaaaad for you.

And Diva, I've been missing my mind.

Certainly not in my fantasies!

Except for the medieval ankle stock, it looks like a combination walker/scooter (for when the legs get tired, ya know).

Siouxie - that "thing," which will inevitably cause reoccuring nightmares, that you linked us to boasts nipple zippers!

And, BTW, The Nipple Zippers WBAGNFARB...or not.

(private note to casey)(don't anyone look)(or else)

(pssssss?? Nov?? let me know!)

When I first saw Dave's headline, I accidentally clicked on the picture with Ted and the girl. I was curious how she would be worked into the Guide (and the Herald budget).

*Waves @ DD!!!!*

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!!*

*Notices whip and hides behind blogbar.*

what kind of accessories does the deluxe model have?

'four on the floor'?

a bondage bench for your bondage b!tch. how thoughtful.

*snork* @ insom...he's obviously quite familiar with this equipment.

Annie, didn't I see something that looked like that in your garage? ;) In pastel?

P.S. I actually have a similar appliance, but Art Deco vintage with a nice mahagony veneer. And, no IANMTU.

Posted by: CJrun | 02:29 PM on October 26, 2007

mah agony veneer?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Abbe, that thing looks pretty creepy. But it's comfty. So they've told me.

El, Annie's "bench" has a built-in gun rack.

*still trying to figure out where Pastel, Ca is*

No, El. More of a taupe than a pastel. But Siouxie's correct on the 'gun rack.' That's what we call it anyway.

Doubles as a "boulder holder" too, Annie. Or so I hear.

LOL, cg!!

Hammie, Honey - you don't have to hide from me. *holds out empty hands* See? No whip!

And Abbe - maybe Nipple Zippers WBAGNFAjazzB. Kinda like the Squirrel Nut Zippers (NTTAWWT).

Did someone call me?

Um, no Goatse, no one called you. Go way before I lose my lunch.

Oooops, too late.

(private to Sx, nobody look...YEP!!!)

Hmmm. Never saw it in that metallic color before ....

Here you go, Diva.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

CJ - If at first you don't succeed, relink, relink again!

...you want real bondage ?

Oops!

Tex - you look so cute in white.

makes mental note to never play doctor with cj.

*hooha puckers*

damn CJ (OBGYN)

CJ is very confused. Are you Baptist?

fivver, I was beginning to think it was just me. I've been botted more today than I have the whole rest of the week.

*will not make a pun about cj and customer cervix*

Do that again, Siouxie!

*waves borrowed machete at Hammie*

Whut? It's for clearin' bush.

Tex - I was expecting a link to this.

And note to blogits: NEVER EVER EVER do a Google search on "hogtied" with your safe search off.

*swigs down brain bleach, borrows casey's spork to scoop out eye sockets*

CJ always wanted to be an OBGYN, but he couldnt find an opening in the field.

Dr. CJ @ your cervix!

Why do you need a bondage bench? Or whips and chains and all that other crazy stuff?

Why not just turn me over your knee and use a hairbrush? Trust me.... You will make your point just the same!

DD.

....looks a little like annie with a better complexion.

Does that come with a case of bleach? Otherwise, EEEEEWWWWW. That is all.

It should be noted that "hooha puckers" WBAGNFARB.

(With the heavy metal band Speculum as the um, err, opening act.)

*SMACKS & SNORKS @ Hammie*

*snork* to casey! Hey, Tex, your ride is here.

Honestly, I don't know how to react to any of this.

I mean really, how is < ahref="http://www.extremerestraints.com/latex-bondage-balloon_604.html">this any different from this.

Also, Ew.

Hammie!!! That was beeeyootiful!!

So much for my halloween costume.

Alfred,
Did you see the episode of "Entourage" where Drama hooked up with a furrie or a plushie or whatever the heck you call em....

Funny stuff.

It's only furrie the first time.

I need a space up there. Stat!

AD- I saw the Drew Carey episode with that. He had to get really drunk.

Oh and I also found this.

Thought you all would appreciate my taste in refinishing projects.

Furfectly delightful, CJ.

Actually, casey, I just don't like to mix business with pleasure!

CJ- It needs varnish.

I am in a play called the Bald Soprano. We really do talk like the play, don't we.

Brando was a Furry.
Bad Blind Date

yep, I just silenced everyone.

Sorry.

OMG - You're doing Ionesco? I did a scene from that in high school with my buddy Mike! Ooh. Good memories. :)

Alfred, it has beautiful hardware and details, but needs complete refinishing and reupholstering. Mostly, what it needs, is a bigger house; I don't have room for that or any other large projects in the house. Someday, I will get a bigger place and my 'recliner' can take its place of honor in the Pointy Ball watching room. It's actually quite comfortable, though I haven't figured out why the cup holders are all 90 degrees from usable. :-P

CJ- I am certain the cup holders can be fixed.

DD- Yes, we are. I have to say, it is really difficult to do. My character is from Liverpool, and its tough to sound angry with that accent.
And the lines themselves are quite absurd.

I keep laughing at every line I have to say.

"If you sell and Ox today, you'll have an egg tomrrow."

I mostly remember a whole string of seemingly unrelated words bouncing back and forth between Mike and me. I think "Balzac" was one of them. It was kinda like word association.

The absurdity is the reason we chose the piece.

I agree, the absurdity is quite fun. I am just having a hard time translating it. Or more precisely, turning off my translator.

It is a great deal of fun. We meet during Acting class and just act like we are having Tea.

All while saying, "Cacao trees in cacao farms do no grow coconuts they grow Cocoa!"

I had a friend in a recent production of Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot"...

It was a tad bizarre and hard to follow, but interesting.... Truly theater of the absurd....

This is my first Absurdist, so I get all sorts of confused. I am used to understanding the characters by what they say, now I have to add in what ever I feel like and watch the cues. Very different job of characterizing.

Why did it get so quiet all of a sudden.

Lots of comments.
Then nothing.

Or not much anyway.

If someone tried to give me one of these, I would be bound and determined to get my money back!

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