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September 29, 2007

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Maybe the homeowner should consider this.

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Boy, that is low (flow, that is!)

Har!

FIRST to say, Good morning, Dave!

Shut off the water. What a novel idea.

Idjits.

$25K damage...that broad must have some high-class sh*t.

A Concorde toilet seat...for those mornings when a subsonic crap just isn't enough.

"Oh Mommy! I just made a sonic boom-boom!"

I wonder if the Concorde toilet would rattle the bathroom window the way the plane did when it used to fly over my house.

Not that I need any help rattling the bathroom window....

Sweet Concorde, you shall not have died in vain...

I think I'll pull through, sir!

/obscure

Two words: Duct Tape.

Not that obscure, Sir.

The smoke detectors were contentious? Perhaps they were just miffed?

Beware all non-believers...Cracking/exploding commodes fulfills the the second sign of the coming of Xenu. The first sign was the lo-flo.

Christine Croziers cracked commode caused Crane Company considerable consternation, considering Crane's culability concerning crappy crappers.

*snork* at igloo's tongue twister*

The above post is mine. I don't know why my name didn't come up.

I am not the Phantom Poster. :)

double lol for igloo.

"I am not the Phantom Poster. :)"

The evidence indicates otherwise.

Igloo calls two stroke penalty on self and withdraws from spelling bee competition at Senior Center.
Shoulda switched to Decaf two hours ago.

I told them my toilet imploded, but they treated me like a crackpot.

Don't all toilets have cracks in them at one time or another?

I had some crack in my toilet once, but that was because the police were kicking down the front door.

Sometimes the simple life has its advantages. Our 80 year old outdoor privy has cracks between all the logs, an' never caused a dime's worth of damage.

*wonders how a concorde seat might look bolted in there.*

sorry, Annie told me I couldn't be poobah any more.

won't happen again.

I thought Punkin was the Poo-bah.

I woulda used the word exalted ifn I coulda spelt it.

igloo musta slept funny last night.

*wonders how a concorde seat might look bolted in there.*

Looking for a way to join the "Mile High Club" on the cheap, Wyo?

...Seriously, who'd want a souvenir toilet seat? Or would have space in their den for a one-and-a-half ton set of landing gear?

Maybe they were sabotaged by Demonic Black Torontonian Squirrels.

NOW ya done it, Wiredog!

*Steps back from blog*

Gee, Wes, hadn't even considered that aspect, but now that you mention it...

*wonders where that extry pair of stirrups went.*

She must have had one giant crack, for it to cause that much damage.

"Determining whether a toilet comes from the problem era involves opening the tank and looking for a date embossed in the tank."

I've picked up girls in all kinds of places, but i never though of looking for a date in a toilet before.

*decides adding a line about 'Looking For Miss Goodbar' would be in very poor taste*

Marion Berry came running to "help" when he heard there was some crack horror needing a fix. He's getting hard of hearing.

I figure that's gonna happen in my bathroom soon. Not that we have a Crane toilet, just that we have that sort of plumbing luck. I do, however, know how to turn off the water by myself...

Hey, since everybody seems to be claiming parts of the United States for their own empirical use, I hearby claim the Northeastern Seaboard and annoint myself (yes, it tickles) "Exhaulted Empress Pumpkin of Poo"

Anybody wanna be my minion?

(See, I am SO Exalted, I gave myself an extra "h" & "u")

I think I'm actually closer to being the EHAUSTED EMPRESS PUMKIN of POO.

Now I've gypped myself a "p".

Just call me "SIR".

Thank you Kathybear. I was hoping there were some people that got the idea of turning the water off before they damaged $25K worth of stuff.

It's noon, Eastern Dabbling Time. How the heck did I sleep this late? I can only sleep for 6 hours. The pile of beer cans and bottles in the kitchen and the new Word doc on my desktop vaguely remind me that I decided to begin the Great American Novel last night.

As soon as my head stops spinning I'm going to open that Word doc and delete everything attack the yard then find something to cook. Gators/Auburn tonight, USF already whooped UWV last night.

I tried to be a minion once, but I only got as far as scallion. One more merit badge and I would have made rapscallion...But I have no rythym writhyum, you no, beat.

I think blurkie had dibs on 'SIR.' But I can reassign it, if you'd like, EEPoP.
*still amazed she needed the Fire Dept. to shut off her water* Maybe they were cute.

CJ - writing soothes a savage beast. You, too.

igloo- Vidalia Maui Kula to you, too.

I have theories on how this toilet Imploded.

A) LArge MAn with a sack full of goodies
B) SLedgehammer
C) A wormhole the size of a neutron opened and then closed.

2 of these things are considered, "Not Possible" by modern adults, So I will guess B).

Sorry for the Capitals problem. I am babysitting the family dog, and the computer here needs a better SHIFT key.

I claim the North West.

I meant Santa Claus. OK.

As opposed to Santa Claus IN (Jay Cutler's hometown).

ACP'OTEWCO

Semper Vidalia to you as well

Wyo - Are you an Elk? My Dad was the Grand Exalted Poobah of PerrythenNWDist. You're exaltedness has a familiar overtone.

Me? I ain't claimin' $hit. Ownership implies responsibility. It's all fun and games until someone wants you to "heat" the NW or offend the West Coast.

So,that makes me Meditrina, Goddess of Wine, Health, Shirkers and Slackers!

Hmmm. I would claim the Gulf of Mexico, plus a small island to dry off on. Not quite Neptune. Perhaps his younger cousin, iTune.

Alfred - you can have it, except for Montana. That's my private playground. And Wyo wanted one of those states, but I can't remember which one. Hmmm...now where did Wyo live....?

OT -Sorry to link to a subscription site, but the LA Times has the most info on this - Kiefer will face the same judge Paris did. And since he has priors, probation, and an attitude, this could get fun messy.
Should I have just sent this in to judi/Dave instead of posting it here? Not sure if it's thread-worthy, especially on a weekend.

CJ - Could you get going on cleaning up all the toxic waste in the gulf? It's the nearest beach to my house, and I'd like to go swimmin'. ;-P

I can have Santa Claus? Ok.

I considered Wyoming to be a Rocky mountain/MidWestern state. Although I do claim Idaho.

I just saw a movie with Kiefer in it. He was a psychologist being controlled by aliens. Loved that movie.

Med - you have a very good point about ownership and responsibility. I will make mine a dictatorship and blame any 'issues' on Hollywood, libertarians, bad beer, and Al Gore.

CJ - the Gulf's still waitin' on you. Ain't got all day! Clean-up on aisle 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.....

LOL, Annie. I had LaDainian on my fantasy league team the last two years. Dayam!

I'll find out what my official title is, if I have one, when I receive my book from my WONDERFUL blog friend who not only had Dave sign one for me, but also videotaped Dave doing so! :-)

You mean LT, the 32nd best running back in the NFL? Norv Turner hasn't a clue as to how to run the ball and stop the run.

Rant\

My claim on the Gulf ends when I get to the Dead Zone. That's not us. To fix that mess, you have to fix the Mississippi, all of the agricultural run-off, and reverse the effects of the levees that don't allow the river to periodically break its banks and cause floods. Too many humans to try to get along with. I LOVE the speculative news stories that act as if the Dead Zone is a mystery. Think about the footage of the I-35 collapse in Minneapolis... not an inch of natural river bank to absorb sediments, fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, or nutrients. That's what winds up in the Dead Zone. I'm approaching 50 and have been doing this for a looonngg time. Lake Erie was in flames when I was young and things have come a long way since then.

It's up to kids in their 20s to tackle the Mississippi and it will take their entire careers before they start seeing progress. Sorry, Med. It's you folks in Kansas and along every tributary that are ruining the northern Gulf. The future efforts already began around 5 years ago, under something called NPDES Phase II; if you look around your neighborhoods, you may notice that storm water drains are now getting labels, saying things like "I lead to the Jones River." That's what those labels are about... NPDES Phase II. We can't handle your grass clippings, motor oil, and other yuck once they get down here. They have to be stopped up there, before they get to the river.

End Rant\

I'd love some carpeting from the Concorde. Should I get 'da stripes' or 'da plane'?

Annie- Choose out a country that no one really knows where it is. Burkina looks nice. Sub Saharan. Probably has problems. Doesn't exist anymore. Formerly French territory.

then there is Yap. A small island chain (5 islands) that is most known for Snorkeling and Scuba diving adventures. Give them rules like, "You are not allowed to drive off the island" make a big stink if someone does.

So long as you keep everyone worried about this, you can enjoy your time. Oh yeah, make sure to have conspiracies to watch Art Bell. This should keep him happy.

Med, I'm not an elk but I like to hunt them. ;)

when I fail to get one, does that make me a Benign Pursuer of Elk?

Wyo - maybe you'd have Elkrectile Dysfunction.

Alfred - are you saying I should start small? Yap is lovely, but only as a conversation piece.

*snork* at P'boy for for his supersonic attempt to get us back on topic. :)

Hey, iTune (CJ) - no backs. You wanted the Gulf, you got it. And we're ALL guilty of chucking stuff in the drain.

LT will be back. And he's way better looking in tight pants than Bobby Bowden.

Why is it no surprise that Yap would have a female leader?

"concorde buffs were unfazd" before or after they used the toilet?

sign in the toilet: "If you are making Mach One, rest assured your frozen, chemically treated pee is raining down on Ireland. If you are making Mach Two, your waste is already in another time zone."

insom - you think Two Mach.

AHEM!!!

Escuuuuuuuuuse me Annie. I know we're friends and all but I live in Charger town and you do not.

You may not claim LT, or any other Charger for that matter. I'm sorry that L.A. can't keep a pro football team, but that's the way it is.

I await your retraction. ;)

All the Chargers are belong to me.

*passes iTune a frosty cold beer and a plate o' Hooters® wings*

Ooh, SNAP, El!!

*stands well back from the lightning*

The Concorde made the trans-atlantic flight so quickly that they had to restock the restrooms with only the Readers Digest version of War and Peace.

itune into CJ: I fully agree with you. Which is why I only buy "organic" pesticide free, hormone free meat, dairy, and produce.

I also agree with Annie. We are all guilty to a certain extent of chucking stuff ...... and I PAY the trash company to recycle my paper, bottles, plastics, and cans. Go frickin' figure.

El, you go, girl!

the southeastern states need a leader- any takers?
NOT IT!

Hey, ddd! :-) I think that title belongs to Siouxie in addition to Bloggess Goddess.

Yes, sometimes this blog just seems to take flight.....

El - the way they're going this year, you may not want them. I have him due to my title, which covers you AND the water you walk on, sweetie. Dave said. Smooch.

*sigh*

Well, Annie, since you did admit that I walk on water, and since I personally know that Dave did put you in charge of the entire west coast, I'll concede to you.

But the Chargers suck this year. I was just trying not to be a fair weather fan!
Good Luck, sweetie!

Male docling just scored on a walk. I suspect the catcher for the other team was on the actual Texas Rangers.

El, just be patient. Norv Turner will bring in somebody that understands the running game, which is what the Chargers were built for. You can't turn a power team into a finesse offense without years of drafting and trading personnel.

By the time the Chargers face my most-exalted Jags (November 18), they will be a concern for me. I wish we could face them now while they're still trying to play a finesse offense!

IS this why the Mariners are always bombing in October, Fair Weather?

Annie- I would recommend never actually taking over Yap. First off, there small change weighs 2 tons. Just say that they pose an ecological danger to the fishes in the sea. Which is true, because they eat the fish. So long as people are worried about Yap, they won't notice to much in the Western States.

Can anyone guess that I am studying Geography 101 this quarter?

SW- You have heard of Yap?

Yep. And Truk.

Alfred - that's exactly why I haven't given LA a pro football team - it gives them something to worry about instead of the real issues. Like USC charging $80 for parking. IANMTU.

SW - Having an Omni-Plex?

ya'll can have it all. just leave me a beach and no responsibilitys. oh, and some beer.

Well, iTune, I'm reminded of what Chris Collinsworth said last week:

"Memo to Chargers: You don't fire a coach who goes 14-2."

Although I do think that Marty was 100% responsible for our blow out in the post season last year.

Since ALDCP'oEWCO is in charge of the Chargers, perhaps the memo should have been sent to her.

Yeah, what El said. Plus, LT is a hottie.

cg - you, too, have a point. Maybe I'll annex Baja California and George Strait. A girl's gotta have dreams, right?

ig - it's cool - Marty screens my memos. But thanks for thinking of me.

ALTDCPodWC Offensive, I think USC is away today... so parking may be cheaper than you think!

El, a less well known guy made an interesting observation last week. Usually (apart from rare exceptions), Super Bowl winners have been in the playoffs for several years before they win the big game. The team Marty built was designed to get into the playoffs and stay in them. San Diego didn't give him enough time to stay in long enough to win it.

A,LTDCHP'odWCO,
331, 392 or 426 Hemi?

Yes, iTu - they're up north, which is why the comment came up in the LA Times today. Poor USC fans get to save $80.

Now wait a minute, here. Aren't we just now getting into the real baseball season?

Absolutely, Blue! Now the fun begins...;)

I think all of the Sir Veys are in Surrey. Their cousins the Oy Veys are in a different land altogether.

Most of us are. The Mets, however....
*snicker*

MTMOAHSetc, since all the games I want to watch are on freakin' ESPN and none of my rabbit ears have that on them, I guess the Survey Says it is baseball season!

Ixnay on da Oy Vey.

Coworker 1, arguing with Stupid Coworker: I think we actually agree -it's just a question of semantics.

Stupid coworker: I wouldn't know - I'm not Jewish.

IANMTU. Thank goodness for high cubicle walls.

*update*
Mets Win
Phillie down by 1

A,P'odWCaSYF
Gotta love a good public education.

*admits to being antisemantic*

Try alumanman alumiheum tin foil on the rabbit ears. But first ya gotta sedate the little buggers to keep them from jumping around so much.

Another coworker was whining about having to move some boxes.
"That's not what you went to college for, did ya?" I commiserated.
"I didn't go to college," she replied.
"Well, then," I said, "There ya go."

iggy sounds like a Mets fan. And a bunny dumper.

I have never dumped a Bunny. Never even dated one, although I have lusted in my heart.
Mets-Nope
Phillies-Nope
Cubs-Yup...
Padres-yup

It goes without saying (writing maybe, but not saying), that a serenphindiptuios sarahandipotus chance discovery has solved the "Bunny Dumper" condum condiment mystery. Obviously, an entire neighborhood has gotten cable cable service.

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