TASER-MANIA

Nobody is safe.

Comments

[Hammond Rye]

Like this hasn't happened to everybody at least once...

[Siouxie]

Brown — who has now been Tasered at least five times in three separate incidents...

He's immune. Like that guy with the zapped penis.

I see a trend here....

[9]

Didn't Herbert Hoover promise us a Chicken in Every Trunk?

[Nookee]

at least he wasn't choking the chicken in his trunks...

Tasered five times? He must get a jolt out of that...

[lil rascal]

Lug wrench, spare tire, flares, oz, chicken.

[Nookee]

oz??? is Dorothy in there, too, rascal?

[Wench Lizzy, aka, Bethie is keeping her pirate name.]

Where the hell was the chicken supposed to ride, I ask you?

[Meanie the Blue]

Sounds like those cops got a true pullet surprise.

[Jeff Meyerson]

My version of the article says Brown told the officers he got the fowl from a local fast food restaurant, police have said.

Was it fried? Because obviously Mr. Brown was, several times.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Whoops - the said article.

[Siouxie]

I'm thinkin' it was a santeria ritual gone terribly wrong...

If that had happened in Miami, there would have been no mention of the live chicken. No big whoop around here.

[PETA]

I am outraged that they didn't charge him with chicken trafficking as well.

[SW]

His wife: Why couldn't you just let the g.d. chicken cross the g.d. road by itself, ya stupid f*ck??!!

[Siouxie]

lol, Stevie!

[SW]

Ty, sxi. You have such an easy great sense of humor!

[random thunking]

Didn't Herbert Hoover promise us a Chicken in Every Trunk?

Posted by: 9 | 10:32 AM on September 20, 2007

-------------

9, Nope. I think it was J. Edgar Hoover who caught with his trunk in live chicken.

[a different dave]

"The officer, who was in contact with Brown due to the fight, was jolted by one of the Taser deployments."

Why do I get a vision of Barney Fife and Goober practicing?

[SW]

I thought it was Bill Clinton trying to park it in every garage.

[blurk]

They shoulda tased the chicken, too.
They coulda had lunch after whippin' the dumb@ss.
That works up an appetite.

[Siouxie]

Good thinkin', blurk. And then, after lunch, stop for donuts!

[ellie]

OT: Hi all! I heard about the blog when Dave gave an interview on the local publc radio station. I'd like to be able to join you guys from time to time when work permits (and even when it doesn't).

Nice to meet you all..err...y'all(since I'm in Texas).

ellie

[Siouxie]

Hey ellie!!

Welcome to the madness!! I've seen your posts around that last few days.

[blurk]

Sioux, we got company.
Mind your manners.

Welcome, ellie.
Even if ya are in Texas.

[SW]

Are you Ellie May Clampett? (Please oh please oh please...)

[Just Ducky]

*Flaps in for just a bit*

*Snork* @ Siouxie's donuts!

From one Texan to another, welcome, ellie! The bloggang is more fun than a trunkful of tasered chickens!

[Annie Where-but-here]

He said the drugs belonged to the chicken. He kept the bird in the trunk in case he ever ran afowl of the law.

[a different dave]

Slightly OT: When onions are outlawed, only criminals will have onions .

[SW]

So Dave's not the only one with a pullet surprise.

Coke-a-doodle-doo.

[Just Ducky]

That rapscallion!

[blurk]

Chicken and cocaine...whatever happened to mashed potatoes?

[Siouxie]

Oops..so sorry. I'll behave.

Police said they don't know why the man had a chicken in his trunk. The animal was taken to the Sheboygan County Humane Society.

Seems like the cops are keeping abreast of the situation.

[Siouxie]

ok..so that's not really a chicken, it's a turkey...but same difference.

[Ellie NOT May Clampett]

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

Yes, I am IN Texas, but I am actually FROM Ohio. Not sure which is worse.

And no, I'm not Elllie May Clampett, but I look more like her than I do Granny. And no accent either, which is good because that would be harder for me to type.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Honorary FIRST *snork* @ Ellie for typing w/o an accent!

[SW]

...but there are fewer letters on the hillbilly typewriter, aren't there?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Not sure about the typewriter, but I know the palmpilot is a bit simpler.

[Just Ducky]

No letters, SW. Just pictures.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

There's nothing wrong with Ohio
Except the snow and the rain
I really like Drew Carey
And I'd love to see the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame

[ellie]

Exactly, Ducky. And mostly pictures of Hooters waitresses and farm animals. Very frustrating.

[SippiFoxHntr]

Partners in crime? "Dude, it was the chicken."

[SW]

Maybe he was a taser-manian devil.

[SippiFoxHntr]

Ellie (not Mae), I guess you'd have to be from Mississippi to think Texas was upscale (embarrassed grin)

[ellie]

but I know the palmpilot is a bit simpler.

*SNORK*

Exactly! Will stick with a regular keyboard for now.

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Hey, buddy, is that a taser in yer pocket or are you just hap-"
ZAPPPPPP!
"YEOW!!"

[SW]

Electrical banana...bound to be the very next craze
Electrical banana...givin' you a jolt and a tase

[Just Ducky]

For Annie, since it's one of her favorite songs:

Stashing cocaine in my cigs; driving crazed
Punching out officers till I get tased
Putting a live chicken inside my trunk
These are the things that I do when I’m drunk…

[Jeff Meyerson]

Attacked By Onions - GNFARB

[Annie Where-but-here]

Golly, JD, thanks!
I think....is that what I do during those blackouts? That would explain a lot.

[Wench Dunkin' Punkin o' Poo]

"Oooh baby, what's all that junk you got in dat trunk?"

"C'mon over here an find out."

"Well, show me, baby..."

*bok bok bok bok bokok!*

"Shhheeeeeeeeet, woman!"

[Siouxie]

LOL Ducky!! very very good!

[whatsinaname]

I know this is yesterday's topic, but getting back to Talk Like a Pirate Day, I must share this little anecdote that happened at work. I work part time as a cashier, so I see moms with their little ones in tow all day long. But yesterday, a young mother in my line had her little blonde, blue-eyed, preschool-aged daughter sitting in the shopping cart. Suddenly, the little girl shouted out, "Ahoy Land!" I laughed and asked her if she knew it was national Talk Like a Pirate Day. Of course, I was joking (sort of), but I couldn't resist asking the girl to try saying "Land Ho!" At this point, the mother had a strange expression of confusion on her face, so I decided to let the whole issue drop.

[Wench Lizzy, aka, Bethie is keeping her pirate name.]

Perhaps he was planning to snort the cocaine and smoke the chicken.

[otis wildflower]

http://tase.ytmnd.com
http://dailygut.com/CMS/DATA/Magazine1/f_dontphasermm_53bea8a.jpg

I'm sorry, it's just too funny to me... I just wish someone would append the Wilhelm Scream to the YTMND...

[CJrun]

A UF scholarship is on its way to....

[Edgar Greenberg]

You can be jailed for onion chucking? I better make a note of that.

[Meanie the Blue]

*SNORK!*@ .... whatshernameagain?

[Brick]

LOUD NOISES

[insomniac]

a.c?
d.c?

k.f.c!

[Siouxie]

lol insom...

wtfkfcbbq?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Cop:Sir, what's that chicken doing in your trunk?
Doofus:Why, it's drivin' me nuts.

[WriterDude]

Welcome, ellie. And hey, DPC is a BFS fan too. TDC!

(Parenthetical translation for ellie: That was The Dread Pirate Chris quoting a Bowling For Soup song, "Come Back To Texas", which I declared to be Too Damn Cool.) (The song and the band, that is. The geography, not so much.)

For the record, here's my favorite fictional hottie named Ellie.

[SW]

Cop: Sir, what's that chicken doing in your trunk?

Doofus: I think the breast stroke.

[Siouxie]

el *snork* for Annie!!

[Edgar Greenberg]

For the record, Dread Pirate Chris, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is nowhere near Louisville Kentucky, and you do not pass it on the way to Kentucky from New York``

[Eleanor]

Welcome, ellie!

Be wary of SW aka Stevie. I really can't say anymore at this point.

[Eleanor]

I think he used the chicken as a taster when he bought the coke, and stuck it in the trunk while he waited to see if it lived.

[SW]

WHO LET HER OUT??!!