NO, BUT THANKS FOR ASKING!

Comments

[Betsy]

Hmph. I'd be afraid of being ripped off: How could I tell if it had actually been done?

[Wes S.]

To paraphrase the classic rock band Golden Earring: Where is the womens' beauty craze to go now that it's gone too far?

[bookworm]

Who thinks of these things...and why?

Betsy--excellent point. For all we know, it could just be water.

[CJrun]

For Hollywood, that's brain bleach.

(wonders what Dave was looking for when he found this?)

[DeskDiva]

bookworm...gooooooood question. good followup - why does Dave find them?

[DeskDiva]

another gmta today, CJ!

[DeskDiva]

AND it was a simul!

*sits woozily*

[bookworm]

Dave finds them for our amusement, of course. I'm pretty sure he has a search engine that hunts for stories of stupidity and malicious squirrels.

[Wes S.]

I'm thinking that the only people who might have any use for that all work in the porn industry.

Which probably says something about our culture right there, since this now seems to be something worthy of mention in a major womens' magazine as a beauty tip...

[jt]

Can't you guys take a hint?

Dave's cluing us in on what he wants for his next milestone birthday--the big seven-oh!

(Or not.)

[Desk "I Loves Me Some Bears" Diva]

Wes - Did you see that play? DID YOU SEE THAT?!? WHOOO!!! YESSSSS! :D

[CJrun]

I picture this as a side business run by Granny Clampett, out of the kitchen, along with tongue prunin's. "Sit your skinny anal down in that warsh tub and lemme git my lye."

[Desk "Danieal Manning Rocks" Diva]

CJ - that's a twist I never wanted to contemplate.

[Meanie the Blue]

Betsy: Caveat sphincter.

[Wes S.]

'Diva, I see that the Bears are saddled with Rex Grossman...and KC is saddled with Herm Frickin' Edwards.

And Herm's about to get his own QB killed.

[Wes S.]

Jeez. Will somebody please tackle that frickin' Hester?

[Desk "Devin Hester ALSO Rocks" Diva]

Woohoo for Hester!!!! Another 24 yards!

(Rex needs to learn that his hands are not made of glue. THROW the damned ball and stop losing yards! Oops - still remembering the SuperBowl.)

[CJrun]

Wes, apparently not. I'll see Wyo's Burros next week and we'll meet in KC on 10/7.

[Desk "I wanna be Mrs. Urlacher" Diva]

CJ - you'll be in KC?!?!

Oh. Darn.

Geez. I wish Brian Urlacher were sackin' ME!

[SW]

Lol, meanie.

Do they then go around proudly showing off their "work" to others, like with boob jobs (So I hear)?

[Desk "I wanna be Mrs. Urlacher" Diva]

Oh, Stevie. Er. Make that "Ew, Stevie."

[SW]

How vain. Didn't their mommas teach them booty's only skin deep?

[Afkat]

Damn! I had already scheduled an "anal bleach" to give to Dave as a fan-tribute for his next birthday. Now, apparently, I have to shop for something else...

[DeskDiva, reveling in the Bears win over Kansas City]

Aaaaaaaaaand it's over, Ladies and Gents!!!

[Wes S.]

Grrr. That sucked. Herman Edwards: you are a putz.

Oh, well: at least the Mizzou Tigers are kickin' butt in college football...

...Looks like this year I'll be rooting for San Diego in the pros. Or Da Bears; most of my family is from Illinois and northern Indiana.

Or, hell, even Oakland.

[CJrun]

No Diva; it's been awhile since I got that far west. Jags are playing at KC in 3 weeks.

[DeskDiva, reveling in the Bears win over Kansas City]

NO, no, Wes. You can join me in rooting for Da Bearss. We can hit the sports bars on game day!

[DeskDiva, reveling in the Bears win over Kansas City]

Yeah, I know, CJ. I'll root for the Jags for ya!

[Bethie]

I was wondering and now I know. People are that anal these days.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

You can also get a twofer called the "Toronto Trim," which involves the reduction of the labia and slight unhooding of the clitoris. I can't tell if this is about aesthetics or women fed up with partners who are unable to find it.

I've NEVER had a problem finding it. Just sayin...

[CJrun]

Burros pull it out in OT; at least Wyo's happy.

[Sea Monkey Bart (aka ScottMGS)]

Hmmm.... I suppose what people think of them is important to them so I guess it's important that if they're going to be a$$holes at least they want to be pretty a$$holes

[SW]

D'oh! Mystery of the missing Clorox bottle SOLVED.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Also - page #3, paragraphs 2 & 3 (no, I'm not going to copy all of that):

I know what I'm getting my wife for Xmas this year.

I'm a guy. They are on my head.

[SW]

It's not only for vanity. After the Sheryl Crow law goes into effect, plenty of people will need it.

[SW]

"My, you don't look a day over thirty."

Nah.

[Meditrina]

Total Rectal Beauty WBAGNFARB. Or Miss South Carolina.

[SW]

Kinda gives "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed" a hole new meaning, doesn't it?

[DaBlade]

Save your money. I just had a tattoo of a finely bleached anus inked just below my thong line.

Rectum? It damn near killed 'em!

[Wyo Cowboy]

yes, I am happy.
Wondering, however, is anal bleach is the same substance we use for ocular bleach?

[DeskDiva, reveling in the Bears' win over Kansas City]

Stevie, you have become the king of the (in)appropriate one-liner!

[Wyo Cowboy]

btw, my daughter recently said something about "...rectifying the penal code."

Does anyone else find that phrase disturbing?

[Sea Monkey Bart (aka ScottMGS)]

Just how close to illegal genital mutilation (WBAGNFARB?) would this come?

[Sea Monkey Bart (aka ScottMGS)]

*sigh* Yeah, I know. About two inches.

[DeskDiva]

*SNORK* @ Scott

[SW]

Ty, diva. Ich bin ein one-liner.

[Doc Rick]

All I know is that the Carolina Panthers got an anal bleaching today like they were in an episode of "Oz"! 2-0 Baby! Next up for rectal re-alignment, the Donkeys from Indiapoopalis. The Texans fear no one. Bring on the Bears, Vikings, Lions, Buccaneers, and the cheating scum who carry the moniker of true American heroes from New England. The NFL is ours for the taking...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

[SW]

But I like "Brown-Eyed Girl."

[Doc Rick]

*okay, maybe I shoulda' laid off the beer before posting...NAH!!!!!*

[Just Ducky]

*snork* @ Meanie!

I'm sure all the doctors will be very impressed when it's time for that annual exam.

"Ms. Ferenkoffer, you're looking great! There's something different about you, but I can't put my finger on it..."

Wyo, is that the pregnant daughter that uttered that phrase?

[Sea Monkey Bart (aka ScottMGS)]

Hey, Diva!

[Punkin "sanitized inside & out" Poo]

I know we blogged this before. How else would I have learned to keep my colon smelling like the pool at the YMCA?

[CJrun]

See ya in Jax, Rick: 10/14

[Doc Rick]

Actually, I'm a little more concerned with the Jags this year than in the past. Garrard is a big step up over Leftwitch and J'ville's defense is always solid. Still, the Texans own your guys record wise. Can't wait CJ! And if Houston loses, I will own up to it. God I love football!

[CJrun]

The entire D-line is hurting, in some case pretty badly. New LBs, rookie Safety. The defense is barely adequate, this year. We lost to the Titans because of no defense and we barely got by the powerhouse that is Atlanta/Joey Harrington.

If the Jags do anything this year, it will haveta be on offense.

[DeskDiva Urlacher]

Ah, Scott - nice to see you!!! :) Hope things are good out in your part of the world!

Rick - NO prayer against my boys. NONE.

[Siouxie, Cuban white ass no bleach needed thankyouverymucho]

*not using El's zip™ cuz she won't approve*

*Watching the Emmys AND the Sox/Spankees game*

GO SOX!!!! (gotta root for SK and Prof's team)

as far as the topic goes...

Give it up for "The Anal Bleachers"!!

[crossgirl]

shouldn't that read "no, butt thanks for asking!"..?

[CJrun]

Salon name: "Bleach 'R Seats."

[DeskDiva Urlacher]

*SNORK* @ CJ!

[Siouxie]

I do have a friend that goes for the "anal waxing"

*OUCH*

[Sea Monkey Bart (aka ScottMGS)]

Things are going well, Diva. Congrats on your impending nuptials to Mr. Urlacher. *wink, wink*

[Sea Monkey Bart (aka ScottMGS)]

Siouxie, that sounds... uh, I can't even go there. This hole discussion is a pain in the a$$.

[DeskDiva Urlacher]

Oh, would that it were so, Scott! :-)

Siouxie....OUCH. But(t) I gotta ask - male or female? ;-)

[Meditrina]

Ah, haven't done it recently, but the Playboy style wax job is quite lovely..... afterwards. I recommend ibuprofen, or vicaden, if you have it. And be sure to wash it down with Alkiehol.

It's like Star Tr@k.... no klingons around Ur-anus.

My X, rich boyfriend really liked it. He was gay. NTTAWWT, unless you don't admit it, pretend to be straight, until you swallow enough truth serum (demon alkiehol) to kill a whale, and leave flotsam in your wake.

[Meditrina]

Ditto on Doc Rick's 8:39. Box wine.

[insomniac]

So Cub Fans who do this are "Bleacher Bums"?

[DeskDiva, a diehard Cubs fan]

"*maxed out on pointy ball*"

CJ - Is this possible for you?!

insom...tread carefully. ;-)

[CJrun]

Enough! Take it away, Central/Mountain/Pacific Tookas-Bleaching Time....

(niters)

[SW]

"Labia too big, not symmetrical, or just not pretty? Thankfully, for $3,000 to $7,000, you can tweak them, plump them, or remake them."

You've come a long way, baby. -- Vagina Slims

(to go along with the snorkable 'Bleach R Seats' and 'Bleacher Bums.')

[Annie Where-but-here]

Word to the wiseass - after this treatment, do NOT undie any circumstances attend a Cosmic Bowling party, or any other event featuring uv lighting. Don't ask me how I know (Siouxie told me).

What a game tonight. I'm sure the Bosox fans have already cried their eyes out told you, but Yankees won a nailbiter, 4-3. Bases loaded for Rivera when Big Papi Pop-up made the final out. Whew!

[DeskDiva, a diehard Cubs fan]

Annie - I'm getting a HORRIBLE visual on that!!!! LOL!!

[Doc Rick]

Annie, it would be in the Yankees best interest to play the Red Sox every series for the rest of the year. Every time they play the D'Rays, they tend to get their asses handed to them. Just sayin'!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Doc, don't you have a soccer game to cover somewhere?

[Doc Rick]

I will no longer discuss soccer as the last time I did so the Canadian subsidiary of AT&T forgot to extend the window on our satellite coverage after we had paid for it and they cut off the signal. Personally, I would have been ok with it but apparently people in Utah love their Real Salt Lake Whatever-the-Hell-They-Are. Have I said I don't like soccer? Just wanted to make sure.

[Doc Rick]

Oh, and I don't care much for Canadians...choice in phone providers. Seriously, y'all need to demand better service than AT&T.

[Annie Where-but-here]

So you had the "Heidi" of soccer games. Woot!

[SW]

I once bought an SO one of these so-called "lip lifts" for Hanukah. You know, a labia menorah.

Pah-dump bump.

[Doc Rick]

For it to have rated as a "Heidi" game it would have had to been in whatever they deem "playoffs". Since I couldn't tell what was going on one way or the other, I will assume it wasn't a big game. The Torontonites showed up in the 10's of 10's. I'm sure a Mormon with a milk hangover was ticked, but the rest of America was watching college football. Apparently I USED to work for a sports network.

[SW]

Labia too big, You can also get a twofer called the "Toronto Trim," which involves the reduction of the labia and slight unhooding of the clitoris.
-----------
Somebody ask Michael Moore if this is covered by Canadian health care.

[Betsy]

SW...unhooding? Sounds like the Ku Klitz Klan...

[Mot the Hoople aka Milt the Disgruntled]

Is Unhooding similar to de-frocking?

[crossgirl, the fairy princess pirate wench]

dave....? new topic PLEASE!!!

[Siouxie]

Anal bleach, anyone??

oh and Good morning!!!

(congrats to the Spankees fans - YES, I watched the game...all of it and it was soooooooooo close).

[Siouxie]

I found this amusing though...

..."Toronto Trim," which involves the reduction of the labia and slight unhooding of the clitoris. I can't tell if this is about aesthetics or women fed up with partners who are unable to find it.

I've found that THIS tattoo seems to help.

[Siouxie]

Spam for breakfast, anyone???

[GungaDan]

LOL@tat Siouxie. Good morning.

[Mot the Hoople aka Milt the Disgruntled]

My parents had me circumnavigated when I was a baby, does that classify as being unhooded?

BTW Sooz, I've never needed directions to the elusive G-spot, could find it everytime, but then I always believed that you derived more pleasure if you gave pleasure.

[Siouxie]

Hey Dan! How's it going? Hey Mot!

And I agree with you there, Mr. Hoople! Men DO get more pleasure when they please their wimmin ;-P

[Siouxie]

Off to walk the doggies before heading to el worko.

[Punkin Poo]

Morning!

Dave, Please tell Stephen thanks for rooting on the home team last night....but next time he needs to write a better ending.

*off to be productive*

[queensbee]

well, that's a novel idea, proving that some people have waaay too much money and time on their hands. and i wouldnt want to get stuck with the bill for this activity. eww, anyway.