NEW YORK CITY UPDATE

The weather is spectactular in New York this weekend, and the streets are packed with people, including the man shown in the CrapCam photo below, who was selling something near Times Square. I don't know exactly what the product is, and I don't want to know.

 

Comments

[PeterM]

Unfortunately, if it was written by the guy (whose video was featured a few days ago on this site) who could climb into the tiny box . . . it would be of little help to the rest of us.

[Punkin Poo]

My eyes are REALLY bad.....I can't read the sign....and I'm sure there is a button I press to make it appear larger on my screen...but I can't see that either.

Glad you're enjoying the weather, Dave...I believe Jeff aimed his weather machine at New York JUST for you! (Thank goodness he steered it away from Minnesota!)

[RickS]

I think he might be selling Crap Cam film. Should have grabbed some, looks like a good price.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Yes, Punkin, despite Dave's anti-Yankees comments we have ordered up the best weather of the summer for his arrival.

Notice the Ch@se Bank in the photo, third only behind the number of St@rbucks and Du@ane Reade in blanket coverage of Manhattan real estate.

[Jeff Meyerson]

And for a buck, how wrong can you go? I'd pick up one of those "452 LOVEM@KING POSITIONS" things if I were you.

[CJrun]

Cr@p Camasutra!

*loses interest in postings of crab pics*

[daisymae]

I LOVE New York! especially when the weather's cool. Nothing like stepping out the door and waving down a cab!

Have Fun!

[Bethie]

If it wasn't cheap beer, don't bother! Make sure you visit pizza stores!

[Dave]

What I mean is, I'm all for passion, but... 452 positions? At some point, you just know kitchen implements become involved. And I, for one, don't want to wake up with a spatula.

[CJrun]

I'll bet you've never had the spatula treatment.

[daisymae]

Better kitchen implements than firearms...

[A Spatula]

To get yourself into and/or out of several of those 452 postions, you're gonna need me.

[Summer]

haha, compared to Shanghai, it's not so "packed" with crowds..

Welcome to Shanghai and you'll know what's "packed".

: )

[Meanie the Blue]

Dave, try the edited online version featuring a useful spreadsheet that you can sort by preferred key body part, kitchen implement, standby medical equipment needed, quantities of absorbents and cleanup materials, and compatible species.

The small shop across the street and down one block in the photo has it. Or so I'm told.

[A Spatula]

Dave, I hope you didn't fall for this. A guy further up Broadway's got 503 positions for $1.50.

MtB: the only problem with the online version is having to hit the "refresh" key every so often.

[Whisk]

HEY!

What about me?

Czech out #287.

[Meanie the Blue]

This surely belongs in anyone's kitchen collection.

[Siouxie, who's up to 453]

Meanie, where'd you get my meat tenderizer???

[Siouxie]

oh and Good mornin'!!

I will be in NYC the first weekend of October. So Jeff needs to get that cool fall weather ready for me.

Glad to see you're having a great time in "the city", Dave. If Mrs. Blog needs some designer purses,(and who doesn't???) I know the best place in Little Italy. (it's a secret though).

[Lairbo]

You must 18 years of age or older to purchase this Giant Mace Club.

And from the Middle Ages to know how to use it properly.

[Meanie the Blue]

Well, I'm middle-aged....

[Meanie the Blue]

*Discretely refrains from remarking on Siouxie's meat tenderizing*

[Lairbo]

Hey-Oh! Thank you and good night ladies and germs, I'm Meanie the Blue and I'm here all week, tenderize the veal and don't forget to tip your server!

[Meanie the Blue]

You've been a fabulous audience, get home safe, give position 316 a try and please remember to snork responsibly.

[Siouxie]

LOL hey Meanie & Lairbo!

You've been missing around here, Meanie...too much work? real life??

[Meanie the Blue]

Too much of both, Siouxie. Thanks. I've really missed being here too.

Plus, position 404 involves a lot of practice to get it right.

[Siouxie]

I hear ya!

#404?? really?

I would have thought that would be easy.

um..maybe I've got my numbers mixed up.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Dave - next block - "3 positions & a cold beer" for $1.

Meanie - more practice. Really.

[Punkin Poo]

Dave - It's not the spatula you have to worry about, it's the George Foreman grill.

*wonders if "Penis Panini" WBAGNFARB*

[Annie Where-but-here]

2 blocks up there's a guy who can give you the Reader's Digest version in a tattoo.

[daisymae]

Hey, punkin, I served 8 people "Naked Chickens" yesterday and I couldn't get past thinking that

"Naked Chickens" WBAGNFARB & might be one of the positions in the book Dave didn't buy...

[Annie Where-but-here]

ot - punkin - congrats on the kidlets - how are they doing?

[Siouxie]

Annie, there is NOTHING in NYC for $1. Dave's gonna get stiffed.

[Annie Where-but-here]

*snork* @ stiffed! Yes, but he'll enjoy it. Actually there are lots of FREE things in NY, such as advice from strangers, including directions on where to go and how to get there, and lots of creative adjectives.

[Meanie the Blue]

That's 101, Siouxie.

Please, folks, it is highly recommended that you proceed in numerical order until you've gone through them all at least once. The publisher is not responsible for injuries due to failure to master preceding positions. For instance, you can cause serious damage to your partner if you try position 212 without having learned the basics of trampoline safety in position 194, or the proper way to heat to heat butter in position no. 177.

[Meanie the Blue]

Also, a programmable altimeter alarm is a must for any position higher than 448.

[Siouxie]

By the way, in researching for this post, I found an interesting one called "the s3xy suzie".

Typepoop won't let me post it because it's considered "spam".

[Siouxie]

Meanie, don't forget the portable defibrillator. Can't do #450 without it.

[DeskDiva]

L M F A O at AALLLL y'all!!!!!!!

And on a Sunday morning, too! Sheesh - ya heathens. ;-)

[ArcticAl]

sounds like someone's jealous....

[Bethie]

Yeah, let other people use spatulas when they are serving you pizza and beer! What else do you need for your money, or cause for that matter?

[Punkin Poo]

Hi Annie! Kidlets are GREAT, but we're not quite sure how long they can stay. :( We only have 2 bedrooms and even though Emily is only with us 3 nights/4days a week, there is just no other spot for her to sleep. (The bedroom is huge and would fit 3 kids easily, but DCYF will not allow boys & girls to share a room.) Short of putting on an addition that we can't afford, the guys may have to be moved - which totally $ucks! They are too cute and are just craving affection...I mean, how do I say to the "Hey it's been a great 5 days, we like you so much, now bye"???

*looks around for Nitro for her angina*

[Siouxie]

umm Dave started it.

Punkin, that TOTALLY would suck!!!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

(((Punkin)))It will work out somehow, don't worry. Put that worry energy to good use. Maybe buy a doghouse for your hubbie to sleep in? That way Emily could sleep in your room. ;)

BOT -NYC has THE best pizza in the world. And egg creams - gotta have an egg cream.

[DeskDiva]

Oh, Punkin. :-(

(((((((((Punkin & her boys)))))))))

*shakes head*

(Well. THAT's a phrase I don't type every day!!!)

[DeskDiva]

Agreed on the pizza. But why are they called "egg creams?" There are neither eggs nor cream in them....

[Siouxie]

Annie, I'm sure Prof would beg to differ. I'll be in CT that same weekend and I'm supposed to try
Pepe's.

He says THAT's the best. I'll have to compare then and give my totally unbiased opinion.

[Siouxie]

I'm not so sure about the clam pizza...that just sounds so WRONG! But it's his favorite.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Clam pizza? Ugh! That's unAmerican. To be completely unbiased, you have to compare cheese to cheese. Oh, and please tell Prof I said 'hi' and that he's terribly wrong.

[Siouxie]

I know, right?? sounds icky. I'll try the cheese/pepperoni. That's my all time fav. I'm a simple gal, with simples tastes.

(pssssst...posted again on your "blog")

[Meditrina]

Clam pizza sounds almost as good as fish tacos.

Embrace the weirdness.

Carpe Diem, Punkin. And tell Prof Hi for me too, Sioux.

[Siouxie]

Hey Med!!!I sure will. Probably watching movies at work working his butt off today.

[SW]

404 error message, not found

404 erotic massage, not free

[crossgirl]

punkin? got any big closets you could turn into a cabin for emily? you know, ship style, bed that folds up onto wall. Just a thought. i could never do fostering and am just in awe of all you people that do it and do it well.

cj, how many times do i have to tell you that that's the aunt jemima treatment?!!?

[SW]

Fervent Heights 452?

If it's a movie and it stars Michael Moore, I am NOT paying to see it. Even a dollar.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Carp & cheese...ugh....Cj probably puts crabs on his...pizza. On his pizza.

[DeskDiva]

cg - that's a brilliant idea! :) Of course, Punkin, being a girl, might not want to give up the closet space.

*snork* @ Stevie!

[DeskDiva]

As for crab pizza, my friend (a Bostonian of the New English persuasion) makes a shrimp scampi pizza that makes you think you've died and gone to heaven. Makes the whole danged thing from scratch, including the crust. On a 20" (or so) pan, no less. Sheer bliss.

[DeskDiva]

I meant to add that I can only imagine what he could do with crab or clams on that pizza.... YUM.

[SW]

"...that makes you think you've died and gone to heaven."

I feel the same way about a 382 sandwiched between a couple of 145's.

[Annie Where-but-here]

...or a .357 Magnum.

[DeskDiva]

I prefer a magnum of champagne, thanks. ;-)

[Siouxie]

Stevie, you're gonna need a bigger swing.

[Annie Where-but-here]

cg - excellent idea! Maybe a walk-in closet could be made into Barbie's dream cabin. Kids are all about attention, not square footage. Paint it pink, and Emily's there. (although don't write off my doghouse idea. ;) )

[SW]

...and a bigger coffin ;)

[Annie Where-but-here]

Stevie - you're gonna need a bigger swinger.

[SW]

I already told you, annie - it's real, and it's spectacular.

[Siouxie]

I find that #420 simply can't be done without a little bit of umm...mental stimulants.

*puff* *puff*

[Jeff Meyerson]

Diva, I've always wondered about the "egg cream" too. I mean, no egg, no cream, I'm surprised the ACLU hasn't filed a lawsuit about "truth in advertising" yet.

In other NY news, I figured out why Dave is here (other than to be with Mrs. Blog): he heard we had a stranded shark and wanted to offer his expertise.

[Eleanor]

Not to interrupt the positioning going on here, but Med, Fish Tacos are the best, especially when the fish is deep-fried. :)

[Siouxie]

ugh..sorry El..

The words "taco" and "fish" don't bring up appetizing visuals (iykwim) (nttawwt)

[Kevin]

I can't resist not mentioning that there are 69 comments for this post. Oh, wait...including this one, 70. Never mind.

[Siouxie]

Jeff, to finish the reporting here's the video!

*cues in "Theme from Jaws"*

[Siouxie]

Wooohoooo! I was #69!!

[Lairbo]

shark news update:

The "shark," 36-year-old David Chetham, a partner in the law firm of Dewey, Chetham & Howe, claims that the novelty ringtone on his cellphone -- the ominous tuba notes from "Jaws" -- may have unintentionally alarmed beachgoers. "I kind of understand their confusion," said Chetham, "But I'm still gonna sue their asses off."

[Annie Where-but-here]

Siouxie - fish tacos are pretty good with a margarita..at the beach.
Pizza and beer - anytime, but best served with a NY accent. My all-time fave - Tony's on Fordham Road in the Bronx. I used to get a Sicilian and a Tab for $1. Better than all 452 positions.

Egg creams are egg creams - you either get it or you don't.

[Annie Where-but-here]

For anyone scoring this thread, the 'egg cream' is position #424.

[SW]

*bronx cheer* for reading something dirty into "egg cream"

[SW]

#328: Nathan's hot dog, with relish

[Siouxie]

Annie, I know and it must be done with THIS little gadget.

[Annie Where-but-here]

OMG, Siouxie....suddenly I wanna cook in the kitchen. First I gotta find it.

[insomniac]

i need more information on #411...

[Siouxie]

Annie, I want a cook in the kitchen too. First I gotta find him. ;-P

LOL insom!

[Meditrina]

Stevie - Is that dog kosher?

Annie and Sioux, Ya'll crack me up.... I actually owned egg beaters like that... call me, I'm sure the X isn't using them. In the kitchen or otherwise. Bwahahahaha!

[daisymae]

the law firm of Dewey, Chetham & Howe

Isn't that the law firm for "Car Talk" on NPR?

#350

[Bethie]

Why did they push the freaking shark back into the water, so then they couldn't swim anymore?! Isn't the point to get the sharks out of the water, so you can swim without being a snack?

[Punkin Poo]

Thanks for the great suggestions, all! (I especially like the doghouse idea, as Mr Poo is in a tizzy over the 300% energy boost around the house! It's one thing to say you "want kids" and another to say "I want very small, silent, non-moving kids who eat nothing"...)

Will keep you posted..

[Lairbo]

DC&H is inded the law firm Click and Clack have on retainer. I believe, however, that SJ Perelman used it first, and he may hae cribbed it from the Marx Bros. It's a venerable name, especially when you can't think of one funnier on your own.

[DeskDiva]

*snork* @ Mr. Poo, but only kinda cuz my dad was sorta the same way. :-) Hugs for him, too.

[SW]

"Stevie - Is that dog kosher?"

Yes, med, it's a she-blew National. Comes in a warm bun.

(Sorry!)

[DeskDiva]

Stevie, will you marry me? I need a funny man. :-)

[Siouxie]

Stevie, that is disgusting!!

You don't need fancy kosher weiners that come in a warm bun. How 'bout some cocktail pigs in a bankie??

*boink* *boink*

What happened to Mr Boyd? (formerly a leading partner in Boyd, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe)

[Annie Where-but-here]

He got 'Boynked.'

[Meditrina]

LOLMWAO (lol my white a$$ off), Stevie. I knew you would bring it home.

[dnasue]

OK, as a New Haven veteran, I assure you that while clam pizza sounds weird, it's actually AMAZING! Clams, garlic, and mozzarella (no tomatoes) - yikes, I'm getting hungry.

[CJrun]

Oops. cg caught my spatula/Aunt Jemima goof. Scary that people know Stripes that well, this many years later.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Pain by Numbers -

Start spreadin’ your shoes, get tappin’ today
I want to see that part of it - Nude York, Nude York.
These vagabondage shoes, are long and not gay
Although not very smart to wit - Nude York, Nude York.

I wanna get up in a city, that doesn’t sleep
And find I’m king of blue pills – doesn’t come cheap.

These little boy blues, take a number today
Come on a kama sutra start of it - a bold, new pork
If I can swing it clear, I’ll swing it anywhere
It’s ‘up’ for you - Nude York, Nude York.

Nude York, Nude York.
I want to wake up with a biddy who never sleeps
And find I’m in number one...seventy-one, the “King of the Hill”
Oh, God, my back!

These little ball blues, are melting away
I’m gonna make a brand new start of it – with some new pork
And if I can ‘take’ it there, I’m gonna take it anywhere.

It’s ‘up’ for you - Nude York, Nude York!

[Siouxie]

*snork* @ Annie!!

excellent! LOL

[CJrun]

*SNORK* ! (holds cellphone aloft, which also part of #317)