LA GUARDIA: AIRPORT OF MIRACLES

We're at the gate, waiting to board our flight back to Miami. The plane came here from Miami, and a wheelchair attendant just emerged from the jetway pushing an empty wheelchair, because the passenger she was supposed to be helping apparently already left the plane unassisted. This caused the gate agent to declare: "Incredible! ANOTHER miracle at LaGuardia!"

Airline people have long referred to Miami-to-New York flights as "miracle flights," because they often have passengers who insist that they need a wheelchair to get ON the plane (when they are boarded before everyone else) but somehow don't need a wheelchair to get OFF in New York (when they'd have to wait until everyone else was off the plane).

Comments

[ScottMGS]

First to welcome you back to Miami!

[Meditrina]

Maybe there was eggplant with God in it served on the flight. Powerful, miraculous EGGPLANT!

[pogo]

LaGuardia is sort of Weirdness Magnet of airports. Every time I have been there, it was a zoo.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I always thought the Miracle of LaGuardia was a plane landing there safely without skidding off the runway and into Jamaica Bay.

[SW]

That's pretty funny, but of course very obnoxious to the rest of us. How about a deposit upon boarding, to be refunded upon arrival - IN THE WHEELCHAIR.

[EB]

Another miracle, log on to...

www.jamestownsun/articles/indexcfm?id=538248section=home page

White Cloud has White calf!!

Maybe Mary the Holy Mother appears on her loins..

EB

[Vid Digger]

While traveling with a recording artist enroute to LaGuardia, a passenger next to us had a nose bleed, but when we landed it was better, and yes, some idiot declared that a miracle!

Guess who?

[EB]

Dave, you sure you want to return to Miami with the Hurricane season goin' on?

Global warming is nice to us up here, near the Arctic circle...

EB

[Bethie]

Some people are that dedicated to work at being lazy.

[pogo]

I was traveling back to La Guardia by cab from downtown Manhattan, when the cab was rear-ended by another car, which took off running through the traffic. Our cabby gave chase for a while, then gave up, and tried to find a cop to file a report with. Three separate cops were not interested and just told him to Gedouddaheah.

[DeskDiva]

Wow, becca. Guess mary won't be showing this thread to her kids. :-(

*hands mary the censor's scissors instead of a Sharpie™*

(Little rough on the language there....)

[Annie Where-but-here]

pogo - you're lucky - that's position #418 and they usually charge extra for that.

Anyone who needs a wheelchair to get on the plane may choose between a sturdy plastic bracelet designating their handicapped status, and an "H" tattooed on their forehead. For 'insurance reasons', they wouldn't be allowed to leave the plane unassisted.

[Wyo Cowboy]

I'd offer to assist 'em off the plane.

[SW]

"For 'insurance reasons', they wouldn't be allowed to leave the plane unassisted."

Righteeyo, aw. The minute one of those people "trips" on the way out, they'll sue the airline for letting them off without assistance.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Plus it'll plunk them right in their dang seats until we able-bodies are off.
Hey, Wyoooooooo...whinny, whinny, nicker.

[Punkin Poo]

Guess that spinal stem cell injection kicked in just in time for touchdown. Ain't technology great?

[marytheblogkidsmom]

Thanks DeskDiva. I need all the help I can get.

[lilrascal]

Either Voodoo or a very powerful hands on experience has just occured. Dave, a word of wisdom...duck!

[Cheryl Howard]

becca, Gumball?

[daisymae]

Welcome back to SoFla, Dave. I'm happy to say it's stormy and fixin' to rain *cats 'n dogs*.

(sorry to all the Labor Day barbequers, beachgoers, boaters, picnickers, etc.)

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I just flew back from DragonCon in Atlanta on Delta, back into MIAPCZ. Delta wants to make sure that you, and everyone in the entire Miami-Dade County, know that you're supposed to get Delta luggage on CAROUSEL 5! I mean, don't get it confused with six, because it's CAROUSEL 5, and it's THAT WAY! No, not that way, but THIS WAY! CAROUSEL 5!!!!

[Jeff]

>>they often have passengers who insist that they need a wheelchair to get ON the plane (when they are boarded before everyone else) but somehow don't need a wheelchair to get OFF in New York (when they'd have to wait until everyone else was off the plane).<<

Yeah, sounds typical of the creative loopholes that some in Miami (and elsewhere, I'm sure) have often used. For example, I heard about some in Miami, after Hurricane Andrew, who had minimal or no damage, yet sprayed water on their ceilings just so they could get more in Insurance monies, so they could buy more stuff for their house.

[Meanie the Blue]

Jeff is partly right. It's a miracle when a plane lands or takes off at LAG anywhere near its scheduled time, even if the weather is perfectly clear.

But I do NOT want to be on any plane that lands there and ends up sliding into Jamaica Bay, considering its JFK, not LAG, that abuts the bay.

;-)

[daisymae]

snork @ meanie and jeff (Jamaica Bay, which I always thought was in...Jamaica)

Jeff - I'm sure there was insurance fraud after Andrew, but there were many cases of insurance companies leaving people high and dry.

[Wavey]

That's a pretty darn discourteous and uber-annoying tactic to use, just for the payoff of being the first one to board the plane. But since the seats are pre-assigned anyway, what's the point? Am I missing something here? Is there some other advantage to doing this other than to slow down the boarding process and annoy the hell out of everyone else?

[Jeff Meyerson]

OK, so it was Flushing Bay, so sue me.

;)

Sorry about that and thanks to Meanie for the correction.

It would have been an awfully long taxi into Jamaica Bay.

[Cheryl Howard]

Wavey--

I don't think the blog is the first(!) I'd ask this question of.

[WriterDude]

Dave -- too bad you left before the match between Tommy Haas and James Blake. Absolutely incredible -- make sure you catch SportsCenter tonight.

Wavey -- yes there is. Many elderly folks, my father-in-law among them, can't spend protracted amounts of time on their feet. Such as when you have a dolt who holds up the entire procession of passengers because s/he's too damn clumsy to get the bag up in the bin efficiently. Other morons circumstances also apply.

[Jeff Meyerson]

daisymae: as Meanie could tell you, Jamaica is not where Jamaica Bay is. Not exactly, anyway.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Wavey - my thoughts exactly. Ok, not exactly. My thoughts have additional vicious adjectives and rather colorful thought bubbles. But that's just me.

Why be first on the plane? To see all the lovely armpits and bellies of sweaty people lofting oversized pieces of luggage? I'll pass.

[Meanie the Blue]

Having grown up (loosely speaking) under the flight patterns for JFK on the other side of Jamaica Bay, including the early morning, hangover-unfriendly, window-rattling Concorde/SST flights, I can attest to exactly which water body any flight out of NY is likely to end up in.

One of many advantages of a mis-spent NYC youth.

[ScottMGS]

No, it's to make sure that all your over-sized, over-count carry-on bags get stowed first (and by someone else) so nothing has go under the seat in front of you and interfere with your widdle feeties.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Scottie, dahlink - I handle my own stowin', IYKWIM, AITYD. 8^p

[bbescuela]

I think the actual miracle was that someone did that and didn't get knee-capped by all the passengers returning home to New York.

[Recovering 24 Addict]

I work for a major cruise line whose name rhymes with Smolland America. Anyway when ever I am lucky enough to actually cruise I see the same thing. When the board the ship they need a wheelchair to get on the ship. Yet in the middle of the cruise they can dance the night away and drink the night away. At the end of the cruise they need the wheelchair again to be first off the ship.

[CJrun]

Harrumph!! As the blogit from the 'Land of Wood and Water,' I must note that Jamaica is home to Jamaica Channel, Montego Bay, Discovery Bay, and many other fine bays, but no Jamaica Bay!

End Harrumph.

[Physically Challeneged]

As someone with a non-visible handicap (two bad knees), this isn't something that I can laugh at. Standing in a line for more then a few minutes feels like my knees are getting whacked with a baseball bat by an angry mob guy. So yes, I will "pre-board" the plane, because sitting down is marginally more comfortable than being forced to stand, even if I have a priority boarding pass. But once the plane lands, am I expected to pay a price (or penance) for boarding early? I paid exactly the same cost for my seat as you did, so why are you surprised that I don't want to wait an extra 20 minutes until the plane is empty?

Sorry, this just isn't all that funny to me. But if you'd like to experience life the way I feel it, I can run out and find a baseball bat....

[insomniac]

amazing chase
to board the plane
i'll zoom by and say "wheeee!"
my useless legs
will come to life
when we de-plane you see!

past first-class snobs
and folks with kids
i nonchalantly roll
but see how fast i
jump up when the
exit door's my goal!

[Wyo Cowboy]

insom, wonderful as always. who else is still here?

[ScottMGS]

I'm here, Wyo. Welcome back to blog-land.

[Wyo Cowboy]

kinda lonely, ain't it, Scott!

[SandyEgo]

alright, I'll help you two out - I'm in the midst of packing for a 10 day trip to Boston/Maine/East Coast - we leave tomorrow. Any "can't miss" ideas? We've never been there. However, I HAVE packed lots of change for the MTA - don't want to end up like Charlie.

Is

Steve the Amazing

going to have the next hour of 24 for us at 9 EDT?  I finally caught up last week and want to know what he thinks happens next.

[Meditrina]

Inquiring minds..... ?

I am ready. Dinner is in the oven, and the kids are at the X's! Whoo hoo. Now, if Sioux would make some blogaritas or kami's, we'd be set.

[DeskDiva]

Yes, Ghost Post, I'm sure he will!!!

[CJrun]

Well, I'm sure Steve's ready. And I'm Ready!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Yes, I'm indeed ready to post when I get the signal from Dave. :-)

[ScottMGS]

I'm sure Dave'll set us up as soon as he gets off the plane, say, tomorrow morning?

[DeskDiva]

Oh, MAN! I don't wanna wait!!! Dave....pretty please?

[Doc Rick]

Well, the man did fight his way past Bud Collins pants and NY airport security. The big question to Steve is WWJBD?

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Jack would wait for his signal from Dave, since there is obviously a covert operation of some sort happening...

[ubetcha]

Or he forgot what day it is.

[DeskDiva]

Holidays always get in the way of regular business. We'll see some kind of apology post in the morning. :-)

[Kristina L.]

Off topic, but I was just reading this on Car Talk, and I had to share it.

Funny

[Laura Vona]

My Mother's got one of those things you can hang from your rear view mirror that allows you to park in wheelchair spaces (she would not be caught dead in a wheelchair) and she's always telling me, 'We don't have to drive around, we can park right up front!" anywhere we go. I have tried to instill in her a sense of social responsability by responding,
"but you feel good today, you don't have to be right at the door. Let's leave that space for someone who really needs it."
(she has a degenerative disease that has it's ups and downs)
A few weeks ago we were walking through our local drugstores parking lot and someone else walking commented about a car that was parked in a disabled space with no placard.
My Mother walking with her cane loudly tells this other woman,
"And my daughter tells me, "Leave that space for others, you can walk!"
As embarased as I was that day, I still believe folks who abuse a system set up for those really in need should be even more emabrassed.
'nuff said.

[Kristina L.]

I think it's sort of bad luck to park in a handicapped spot if you're not handicapped. Think about it. God has a sense of humor.

[Siouxie]

Good evening folks!! I guess Dave hasn't arrived in Miami or he would have already posted the 24 thread. I was so looking forward to it, Steve!!

About the handicapped parking spaces. This is a pet peeve of mine. I see so many people with those permits park there and get out of the car with NO obvious handicap. It irks me and I feel like saying "What the hell is your handicap? are you a MORON???" My Mom was in a wheelchair for the last year of her life and we had the application from her doc to get one of those and she never wanted it. We wheeled her from wherever we parked. GRRRRR...gumballs please?? and maybe a blogarita or 5!

[Siouxie]

oh and I need to give a shout out to...

WYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Welcome back, my friend!!!! sorry I missed you!

[Siouxie]

*jumps behind the blog bar and mixes up a batch of blogaritas and kamikazes (Med's fav)*

[Meditrina]

Thanks, Sioux. How was the pool party? I hope there was cold beer and plenty of sunscreen.

[Siouxie]

Howdy, Med! nice and refreshing after a workout. Not much sun...it rained right after

[Doc Rick]

Well if the ol' blog bar is open I'll take a quick shot of whatever the bar is having.

[DeskDiva]

There are people who have the hangtags who have invisible handicaps such as severe breathing disorders. My late father was one of those - he suffered with nearly debilitating emphysema and asthma. I try to put the best construction on it - my presumption is that if the driver has the tag, the doctor has more information than I do.

Love and boogers!

[DeskDiva]

OK, Rick - My Guys was good. Why didn't you tell me it was set in Chicago? I'd have been watching all along!

Siouxie, if you're serving kamikazes, I'll take one, if you don't mind.

[Meditrina]

Sorry for the rain. Doc, good to see you. What's your pleasure?

[DeskDiva]

Shoexie Siouxie - I was at the KCI airport a little bit back and found THE shirt for you. :-)

[DeskDiva]

(OK - you can't really tell well from the crapcam photo, but those are supposed to be Dorothy's ruby slippers.)

[Siouxie]

*pours out kamikaze shots for all*

[Doc Rick]

Rain happens and kids interrupt best intentions. Therefore I will have a double of the house bourbon and a Sam Adams chaser.

[Doc Rick]

and a kamikaze

[Siouxie]

*mixes up a double of our best blog bourbon and Sam Adams for the Doctor*

[Siouxie]

take two of these and call me in the mornin' doc!

[Siouxie]

I like that slogan but I'd change it to say "Will shop for shoes" ;-)

[DeskDiva]

*drinks*

Thank you, Ma'am!

[Siouxie]

So what did ya'll a'lls'ss'ss did for the weekend??

[Doc Rick]

Sweet! I almost got a slogan.

[DeskDiva]

Hee hee - I like that better.

[Siouxie]

oops..pardon my grammar...what did ya'll a'lls'ss'ss DO

[DeskDiva]

My celebration was that I went to Walmart yesterday to return some sugar scrub (it was open when I bought it - ew).

I did eat BBQ ribs today (sadly, NOT Oklahoma Joe's, Med). Did some Lyric rehearsal, too, Sat & Sun, but that's OK - I need the money.

At least you had fun FOR me!

[Siouxie]

Well I spent most of it cleaning out my closet. Making room for more clothes and shoes. Today was a great...nice workout..pool...hanging out with friends.

[Doc Rick]

Lets see, kid with broken toes and work.....yep. other than that I was pretty much a bore.

[Siouxie]

OH yeah Rick..stepson's toe broken?? yikes! Time to ban sports!! ;-)

[Meditrina]

Work, work, a little play, and work. Back at it tomorrow.

The kids had fun though, an extra long weekend in St. Louis, where they saw the on-deck batter get nailed. I thought they would be upset by it.

But all they remembered was the triple and the grand slam. Go figure. And mini me was more impressed by the clydesdales and the zoo than anything else.

[Doc Rick]

Oh, and I brokered peace with my new down stairs neighbors. *yes, you got the new part of that right*

[Siouxie]

Med, I am going to have to make a trip to KC to check out the restaurant. I still don't know if daughter will be applying there. IF she does, I'm for SURE going up.

[Meditrina]

But Sioux, the injuries are what makes for good drinking stories later. And keeps kids from other, less desirable pursuits.

I met a lady who teaches at the Nelson last night. Was telling her about your dot, and she wanted to know what medium she excels at..... so? I didn't have the answer.

[Siouxie]

what happened with the neighbors, Rick?

*pours another drink*

do tell

[Doc Rick]

A broken metatarsal and two dislocated middle toes...a temp cast followed by a permanent one once the swelling subsides. I forgive him though. He was trying to impress a hot latina diving out of bounds on the street. Chicks dig going for the impossible...so I'm told...

[Siouxie]

Med, she's either going for Illustration or Animation

[DeskDiva]

Rick - Yay for NEW neighbors - but why did you have to broker peace? Ouch for boy with broken toes. :-( So sorry!

Med - Clydesdales rock. They're just awesome animals. My mom grew up on a farm where those were the workhorses.

Siouxie - at least you got the pool part. I don't even know where there's a public pool in the area. I haven't been swimming all summer.

[Siouxie]

Rick, there is NOTHING wrong with trying to impress a HOT Latina ;-P

[Doc Rick]

The neighbors just had a party on a Thursday involving a large amount of bass in their stereo selection, so I went down to ask them to turn it down.

[Meditrina]

You're so right about the chicks, doc. (((((docs son)))) Bones heal and swelling subsides. And the story will grow. With time and with adult beverages.

Sioux, I hope you make it up for a meal at the restaurant. The food is superfluous and incredible. The service? Well, you know. *EG*

[Just Ducky]

*flaps in for a moment*

Clemson just beat FL State! Amazing!

I'll take whatever you're drinking, Siouxie. We had another inch of rain today. I'm so glad I didn't have any great plans for the weekend.

[ScottMGS]

Didn't do much today. Temp at home over 100 2 days in a row. No A.C. here, either. Just... hot.

[DeskDiva]

Med - May I ask whom you met? My former boss is now the librarian at the Nelson and is also a professor of art. I'm wondering if that might be she. Was her name Marilyn?

[Doc Rick]

Siouxie, I gave the boy a hug as I sent him with his mom off to the emergency room. Trust me, been there and done that.

[Siouxie]

You bet your @ss I'll make it to the restaurant! I do hope she does apply there. It'll give me a reason to check KC out.

[Just Ducky]

Whoa. I flapped in just in time to make a ScottMGS sammich with Diva. Now I really need a drink! ;-)

[Siouxie]

Rick, me too. I have two girls but they've both broken bones and I've gotten to see the ER plenty.