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September 20, 2007

ADVISORY TO MALE BIKERS

Do NOT wear rubber boots.

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Mom was right, motorcycling is really dangerous.

"Djindjic" in English is "singed dick." That is all.

YIPES!

That's gotta hurt!


It's Electric!!!

MSNBC top of the hour material.

Like this hasn't happened to everybody at least once...

"Singed Dick and the Lightning Bikes" wbagnfarb

Mom was also right about always wearing your rubbers...

As a Penis-Free American, I can assure you, Hammond, this has never happened to me.

Actually, russellmc, it would appear that mom was very, very wrong about wearing rubbers.

"Thankfully, the doctors said that there would be no lasting effects, and my penis will function normally eventually."

Right now, though, it's probably still buzzzzin'. I'm sure the gf doesn't mind.

One minute I was taking a leak and the next thing I knew I was in hospital.
That line's nearly as popular as "Hey, Billy bob, hold my beer and watch this."

Butt was he wearing clean underwear?

"As a Penis-Free American,..."

My condolences.

>Djindjic, who suffered light burns to his chest and arms, added: "Thankfully, the doctors said that there would be no lasting effects, and my penis will function normally eventually."<

Somehow, that's none too comforting.

Lightning rod.

That is all.

Ante: But you said I'd get normal function.

Doctor: Yeah, but only back to where it was before. You'll never be John Holmes.

LOL blurk

*Changes boots*

DPC,

No matter how clean his skivvies were beforehand, they surely were soiled afterwards...

Just speculating here...

I wouldn't want to join THAT weiner roast, IYKWIM.

*Crosses legs under desk.*

Why condolences, SW? I rather thought you LIKED the fact that women were penis-free....

Oops. Apparently the pirate in me is not quite through celebrating.

Mythbusters proved that this is indeed an urban legend (peeing on an electrified third rail electrocuting a male). Ultimately it was shown that while perceived as a stream the expulsion is really separate drops and therefore no connection possible.

Unless this guy was unloading a few gallons of beer all at once with the force of an F1 hurricane, that lightning was attracted to something else.

Well yeah, Chuckles, maybe...but then it wouldn't be funny ;-)

But the "3rd rail" is only, what, 440 volts? A lightning bolt is millions. It can obviously jump from cloud to ground, so it shouldn't have any trouble jumping pee drops.

The real lesson here is: Don't whiz outside in a thunderstorm. Ever.

Amen, DPC.

Oh, and never pee against the wind. But for a whole different reason.

That sounds like the voice of experience to me, blurk...

Lemme guess, blurk...Coors was involved???

Or on a police officer...

Trust me on this one.

I don't like the word eventually in that story one bit, despite Siouxie trying to put a good face (so to speak) on the tingling penis (GNFARB? or a 50s horror movie?).

Simuls sharing the same brain, Bethie!

A lightning bolt is millions. It can obviously jump from cloud to ground, so it shouldn't have any trouble jumping pee drops.

Which is why the rubber boots probably didn't matter much, either. And -- even though I have a penis and treasure it -- no matter where you get struck by lightning, it's going to ruin your day.

Sioux, Coors is almost always involved.

And *snork* @ Hammie and the police officer.

Speaking as a policeman, if someone p!sses on me I guarantee they're gonna have a bad day from that point forward.

Trust ME on this one.

Which is why the rubber boots probably didn't matter much, either. And -- even though I have a penis and treasure it -- no matter where you get struck by lightning, it's going to ruin your day.

Posted by: Will | 10:51 AM on September 20, 2007

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Will, is it detachable?? do you keep it in a treasure chest??

Mmmmm...Carmen Electra...

siouxie, 'detachable penis'?

that's a whole 'nother song, i think.

"A lightning bolt is millions. It can obviously jump from cloud to ground, so it shouldn't have any trouble jumping pee drops."

"Which is why the rubber boots probably didn't matter much, either."

The current would take the path of least resistance. If he weren't peeing at the time, it probably still would've gon through his boots, but since he was, it went that way. :O

-ME

Anyway, I'm glad he survived... just think of the cool nicknames his biker buddies will give him.
"Lightning Dick"
"Electric Johnson"

Stops the motor runnin'
Pulls off of the highway
Lookin' for a trench or
Whatever comes his way
Yeah, Willy's gotta make it happen
Gets unfurled with a gloved embrace
Fires out the gallons at once
And unloads into space

Don't like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Peein' with the wind
And the feelin' that he's done fer
Still, really gotta make it happen
Gets unfurled with a gloved embrace
Fires out the gallons at once
And unloads into space

Like a true nature's child
He was scorched, scorched in the wild
With volts so high
His Willy's gonna fry

Scorched in the wild
Scorched in the wild....

Oh, please. That lightning bolt just traveled hundreds or thousands of feet across OPEN AIR (itself a well-known insulator) - an inch or so of rubber isn't going to stop it. I'm with Chuckles and DPC on this one. Hoax.

*SNORK* @ Meanie!! awesome job!!!

Talk about something you just could never see coming. Jeff, great minds!

"Thankfully, the doctors said that there would be no lasting effects, and my penis will function normally eventually."

Yes, but the time he's 80, it'll be behaving like every other 80 year old's. He's just a bit ahead of his time at the moment.

Isn't this how Lightnig Lad got his powers?

or rather Lightning . . .

Though electrified
The young motorcyclist wakes
Finds he can't plug in

(repeat warning) We haven't seen Mr. Woody for a while . . .

Hoax.

Posted by: Mr. Completely | 11:29 AM on September 20, 2007

---------------

Not necessarily. People do get struck by lightning and survive. I've got pupils that don't dilate correctly anymore as a souvenir of my experience.

The new spokesman for Viagra and Jolt Cola.

Er, wow, DPC. You have my utmost .... not sure, actually. Extremely horrified that you were struck, awed and of course glad that you survived.

DPC - I'm absolutely not disputing that people get struck by lightning and survive (I've met Dannion Brinkley and my kids are good friends with him) - I'm saying that the rubber boots did nothing for him in the way of insulation.

my penis will function normally eventually

There's a statement ya hope ya don't have to say too often.

MtB - after such a full and rewarding evening spent with Dave, I'm truly impressed that you have the brain capacity for such artistry.

wickedwitch: I think Meanie (and others who've experienced it) will attest that a Close Encounter of the Dave Kind is more inspirational than draining.

And, snork at MtB's lyricism.

i'd assumed that the consumption of mass quantities of brew would have followed that outing.

"...my penis will function normally eventually."

Mmmmkay, so please describe your current state of "abnormal" function. And don't skimp on the details.

My brain capacity is a very speculative thing indeed.

Given the family presence on this particular strumpeting, and me being the captain on duty of the HMS Meanie, we were compelled to go for ice cream instead of rum 'n' brew afterward. (We had to do something while the horrendous traffic DaveLock™, which was murderous on the way in, dissipated.)

I thank you for the compliments, and while I'm thanking, I should mention my gratitude to Dave for his patience and willingness to stick around for photos and bantering, and for delivering a very entertaining evening. Oh, and for the bumper sticker, too.

Don't know about peeing on third rails, but peeing on an electric fence will certainly wake one's prostate up. That is all.

The amazing, disappearing duplicate thread. I was just extolling the virtues of getting a story posted, even though it had been previously blogged, and by the time I had finished and submitted my gloating at getting judi fired for the duplication my well thought out rejoinder, the thread had been summarily yanked.

"it earthed itself"???

Who talks like that?

The key word here is "eventually".

Mr. Biker is scheduled for the medical procedure, called addadictome procedure next Tuesday.

*still giggling a bit at jumping pee drops, although it probably wouldn't BAGNFARB*

Eleanor - Geeks and techs. "Earthing" is the correct term - that's what "grounding" means!

However, I understand that in keeping with the day's events the victim was heard to yell:

"AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

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