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September 17, 2007

24

In last week's episode, Jack ended up dressed as Batman. (Don't ask.) (And don't tell.)  Edgar is still dead. We now give you The Increasingly Amazing Steve™.

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This might take a minute...they think I'm posting comment spam. I have to look it over to see what it might be barfing on...

Maybe just too many comments in a day.

24 – Two Days Later – Hour 17

The following takes place between 11 am and 12 noon, and is part of an ongoing documentary.

11:00 am – Chloe, Morris, Jack and Bill are standing in an office parking lot. Jack is still wearing the Batman costume. A tall man standing next to his car in the parking lot looks very startled at seeing the group appear out of nowhere. He slowly starts walking towards the building, and then when he thinks he can make it, runs for the building and goes inside yelling, “MICHAEL!”

Jack says, “Chloe, give me my clothes. I have to find a place where I can change back to my street clothes.” They go inside the building. Jack runs into a men’s room with his clothes to change. Chloe, Morris and Bill wait outside.

11:03 am – Inside the building, there’s an office where people are working in an open area. Desks are everywhere, and people work at computers, take phone calls, and process paperwork. The man from the parking lot runs into the room and heads straight for the receptionist and a young man, carrying a coat and briefcase, who is talking to her.

The man says, “Pam! Jim! Plan 920! Implement Plan 920! Where’s Michael!?”

Pam says, “What? Dwight?”

Pam and Jim watch as Dwight runs into Michael’s office.

Jim walks over to his desk to drop off the coat and briefcase he’s carrying. He opens his desk, and the contents have been completely encased in solid Styrofoam.

[ The scene shifts to Pam in a conference room, speaking to a camera ]

Pam: I think it was Dwight. Jim’s always playing pranks on him. Yesterday he filled Dwight’s desk with ping pong balls.

11:05 am - Back in Michael’s office Dwight says, “I was just in the parking lot! I saw four people appear out of nowhere! One of them is dressed like Batman! Implement Plan 920!”

Michael looks out of his office window, but doesn’t see anything. “Well, there’s no one there now. Did you get enough sleep last night?”

Dwight looks desperate: “Michael, listen to me! Four people materialized in the parking lot!”

Michael says, “Look, if people are collecting money in the parking lot, that’s up to them. Even if they decide to dress up like Batman.”

Dwight shakes his head, “No, I mean they appeared out of thin air. And only one of them was dressed like Batman. They don’t know how to dress like us! We have to implement Plan 920!”

Michael cuts him off. “Dwight, just stop it!”

11:06 am - Back downstairs in the lobby, Morris says, “I wonder what we’re going to find here?”

Bill replies, “I don’t know, but it’s kind of weird that we’re in an office building. You don’t think those terrorists set up an office, do you?”

After a few minutes, Jack comes back out in his own clothes. He says, “I had to stash that Batman outfit behind one of the toilets, but I took the utility belt. We’ll come back for it later.”

Chloe goes over to Jack and pulls out his shirt so it covers the belt. “That way you won’t look like a goof.” She points at a directory on the wall near the elevator and says, “I think we have to go upstairs. There are some offices up there.”

Commercial

11:14 am – They get off the elevator and enter an office. A receptionist answers the phone, “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. … I’m sorry, but Michael is busy right now. I’ll have him call you back.” She looks up and sees Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack. “May I help you?”

A man comes out of his office followed closely by the tall man they saw downstairs in the parking lot. The man says, “Michael Scott, Head Honcho. What can I do you for?”

The tall man whispers loudly to Michael, “Plan 920! Plan 920!”

11:16 am - [ The scene shifts to Jim sitting in the conference room ]

Jim speaks to the camera: “When Dwight first became assistant to the regional manager, he came up with contingency plans for every conceivable problem that might happen around here.”

[ Switch to Dwight, in the same conference room ]

Dwight: “A good assistant regional manager has to be prepared for any office emergency. I’ve handed out a pamphlet explaining them all, and issue quarterly updates with changes and new editions. It’s right in here.” He holds up a red notebook labeled: Dunder Mifflin – Emergency Procedures – Scranton Branch, opens it and points, “Plan 920: Alien invasion.”

[Switch back to Jim]

Jim: “Dwight’s book? I used it under one of the legs on my desk to make it level.”

[ The scene shifts back to Michael talking to everyone ]

11:18 am – Michael says, “Stop it, Dwight! These are completely normal people!” Michael looks at the group and says, “Well, for computer people, I mean.” He laughs. He turns to the other people in the office, and says, “Attention, everyone! Attention! The people I asked corporate for are here. They’re going to help us with our computers. Now, I want you to be nice to them, because they’re computer nerds, and not used to interacting with people.”

Pam looks embarrassed, “Michael…”

Jack tries to interrupt, “Uh, excuse me, I think that you’ve…”

Michael continues, oblivious to Pam’s embarrassment and Jack’s interruption. “I want you to give these computer geeks whatever access they need to help clean out that computer problem that’s going around.”

11:22 am - [ Switch to Michael in his office, talking to the camera ]

Michael: “I get a lot of e-mail every day. You’d be surprised at the number of women in Eastern Europe that contact me just wanting a friend. I also get quite a bit of e-mail from Nigeria, asking for my personal assistance. They send me attachments all the time, and I open everything. It’s important to be thorough and follow up on every lead in a job like mine. Now, somehow, we’ve gotten a problem on the computer network, and I’m way behind on my e-mail.”

[ Switch back to Michael talking to Jack and company ]

Michael says, “We don’t have much room here, so I had the people in the warehouse clear out some space for you to work. Jim, I want you to take these people down to their offices. I gave the warehouse staff the rest of the week off, so they shouldn’t be disturbed down there.”

Dwight hesitates, and says, “I can help them, Michael.” He turns to Jack, “What do you say, Batman? I can take you down to your office.”

Michael shakes his head, “Dwight, just stop it.” He turns to Jim, “Jim, can you take these people downstairs to their offices?”

Commercial

11:29 am - Chloe starts to try and explain to Jim what's going on, but Jack motions for her to stay quiet. Jim takes Jack, Chloe, Morris, and Bill downstairs to a set of desks in a corner of the warehouse and then heads back upstairs.

Chloe says, "NOW what are we supposed to do? That guy upstairs thinks we're here to fix his computers!"
Jack says, "Well, can't you?"

Chloe says, "Of course I can! But what has that got to do with catching the people we're chasing after?"

Jack says, "I have no idea... You know how this goes! We'll know when something happens."

Bill whispers, "Psst! Jack! That Dwight guy is watching us!"

11:31 am - Dwight is watching through the door at the top of the staircase.

[ Switch to Dwight in a conference room ]

Dwight: Usually aliens have apparatus that they need to use to breath in our atmosphere.

He thinks for a moment and continues.

Dwight: They’re not using anything like that. I might be wrong about them

[ Switch back to the warehouse ]

11:32 am - Jack lowers his voice says, "Morris and Chloe, go back upstairs and see if you can find out what's going on with their computers. Just act like we really belong here, and don’t create a scene. If those terrorists are around here, we don’t want to tip them off. Bill and I will check around the warehouse.”

11:33 am - Chloe and Morris both head upstairs, and Dwight is gone by the time they reach the top. They re-enter the office area, and meet Michael.

Michael says, “Well! All settled in then? I forgot to ask you your names.”

Morris shakes his hand, “I’m Morris and this is Chloe.”

Michael turns to Morris and says, “Are those other guys coming up to help? Or is it just you and your secretary?”

Chloe says, “WHAT?”

Morris turns his head whispers, “Calm down! Calm down!” Chloe stops talking. Morris turns to Michael and says, “We’re both computer experts.”

Michael laughs, “What? I’ve never seen women on those Geek Squad commercials. Are you sure she can handle it?”

Morris reaches back and keeps Chloe from taking a swing at Michael, “I can assure you that she can handle it. We should have your systems running better in no time.”

Michael tells Chloe, “You can start with Angela’s computer over there in accounting, and then Kelly’s and Meredith’s.” He leans over to whisper to Morris, “She should feel more comfortable working with women’s computers,” and walks back into his office.

[ Switch to Chloe in the conference room ]

Chloe: I wish I had my taser.

[ Switch back to the office ]

It’s all that Morris can do to hold Chloe back. She finally calms down and walks over to Angela to help her. Morris goes into Michael’s office to help him.

Commercial

11:40 am - Chloe works on Angela’s computer while Angela stands next to her. Chloe says, “I like your poster.” The man sitting next to Angela’s desk rolls his eyes.

Angela seems pleased. “Why, thank you. Have you been with the company a long time?”

Chloe pauses and says, “No, not long. We’re both new, to this job.”

Angela says, “Oh, you knew each other before?”

Chloe says, “You could say that. We were married. We’re divorced now.”

Angela prickles at this. “Oh. How disappointing.” She walks away.

Chloe looks around to be sure no one is watching, and types a few commands to try and contact CTU’s computers, but is unsuccessful. She pounds the desk in frustration. A heavy-set man across from Chloe says, “I know. I couldn’t find it either. Angela must have come in on the weekend and taken solitaire off of all of the computers.”

11:42 am - Morris works on Michael’s computer.

Morris says, “I can’t believe this. I’ve never seen an e-mail inbox this full before. Or all this extra junk you’ve downloaded! It’s a wonder this computer runs at all.”

Michael responds, “Why thank you! I work really hard on this. With all the typing. And mousing. And hard driving.”

Morris says, “That’s not…”

11:44 am - He’s interrupted by a young Indian woman who comes running into the room, speaking very quickly, “Omigawd! Omigawd! I’m so glad you’re here to fix the computers because I haven’t been able to get on the Internet in a week and I don’t even know what to do with myself since my boyfriend moved away a few months ago I haven’t had anyone that can fix it and it’s so important for me to keep up with all the world events like Paris and Lindsay and how quickly Tom and Katie’s daughter is growing up, not to mention all the great Internet sales going on that I haven’t even been able to look at for such a long time and with the new fashions coming out this month I’m SOOO desperate to find something I can wear.” She leaves.

Morris asks Michael, “Does she breathe?”

Michael says, “I don’t think so.”

11:46 am - Jack and Bill search around the warehouse stacks to see what they can find. Jack tells Bill that it looks like this is a paper company, because that’s all the stock is. Dwight is attempting to watch what Jack and Bill are doing.

[ Scene switches to Dwight in the conference room ]

Dwight: I’m still not sure they’re aliens... But if aliens do come to this planet, it makes perfect sense they would come to a paper company. Infect the world’s paper supply, and they would enslave the whole world.

11:48 am - Back upstairs in the office area, Morris comes out to tell everyone that the computer that had the infection has been cleared, and that an antidote has been placed on the network drive. He tells everyone to reboot their computers.

Michael says, “You heard the man! Creed! Stanley! That means you too!”

[ Scene switches to Creed in the conference room ]

Creed: I’m not rebooting. I learned a bit about computers over the summer, and now I run online betting from that computer. I can’t afford the downtime.

[ Scene switches to Stanley in the conference room ]

Stanley: My computer broke three weeks ago. Still no replacement.

11:51 am - Downstairs in the warehouse, a truck rolls up to the loading dock of the warehouse. Two men get out, and look around. They start loading their truck with paper.

Dwight steps out from where he was hiding and yells, “Hey! Stop! There isn’t any paper pick up today!”

Jack and Bill run over to the truck. One of the men yells to the other, “It’s Bauer! Get him!” Jack tackles one of the men, and Bill punches the other in the face. Dwight runs upstairs.

11:53 am - Dwight bursts into the office area and yells, “Pam! Call the police! We have intruders in the warehouse! Tell them I’ll meet them down there. I have to get something from my desk!”

Dwight runs over to his desk, which is missing. He stands there, not knowing what to say.

Jim says, “Dwight, are you looking for something?”

Dwight says, “Jim, where’s my desk? I have something very important I need to get out of it.”

Jim says, “Desk? What desk? You don’t have a desk. You usually just sit on the floor and work.”

Dwight gets madder, “Jim!” He runs back out of the room.

11:55 am - In the confusion over the desk, Chloe and Morris run out of the room and back downstairs to the warehouse.

Bill is standing next to one of the men, who has been knocked out. Jack is lying on top of the other man, with his forearm over the guy’s throat. Dwight comes to the top of the stairs, and looks very alarmed at what’s going on. Jack yells, “What are you going to do with this paper? Tell us who you work for!”

Dwight runs downstairs, and says, “The police are on their way. What’s going on here? Who are you people?”

11:57 am - There’s a flash of light. Morris, Chloe, Bill, Jack and the two men disappear.

Dwight is dumbfounded, and after a minute realizes he was right all along. “They WERE aliens… !”

Jack, Chloe, Morris and Bill stand on a sidewalk on a busy street.

11:59 am - Back in the office, Dwight is standing on top of Jim’s desk, looking through the ceiling tiles at his desk, which now sits on boards in the ceiling. The desk has been reassembled exactly as it was when it was on the floor.

12:00 noon - Time’s up!

I'll set up a perimeter around the Bot Steve. Just let me know if we need to get Siouxie's hot wax out for it.

...So: What happened to the two guys Jack and Bill subdued?

As always, fantastic fiction at it's finest! Just a suggestion for the last episode. Have them leap into "Burn Notice" on the USA network. Michael Westen is a fired U.S. spy, has a cool car, an ex-current girlfriend who was trained by the I.R.A., and his buddy played by Bruce Campbell of "The Evil Dead Fame".

*should have written, "of "Evil Dead" fame.". Got a little quick with the typeage.*

I guess I'm out of the loop - I don't understand any of this. Batman, Arnold the Pig and the Beverly Hillbillies I understand - this? No....

Hahahahah, the Office. Man, if there's a 24/The Office crossover, I really need to start watching more TV. Well done. An excellent chapter- er, episode.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND best one ever.

Hysterical! Love the desk trick. We did that to one of my bosses on April Fools Day one year. We also moved the Youth Pastor's office into the baptismal waiting area. He thought he'd gotten fired...

*applauds The Amazing Steve!*

*also applauds Dave for remembering to add the semi colon to the Amazing Steve's name!*

That was officially amazing, Steve. And now our heroes are on a sidewalk, by a busy street? Well, that sure narrows down the possibilities. Can't wait till next week!

Thanks everyone! "The Office" is one of my favorite shows, and this was especially fun to do.

Here we come
Walkin' down the street
We get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet

Hey, hey, we're Jack junkies
Amazing Steve spins tales quite renowned
And we stay busy snorking
Till next Monday rolls around...

T-minus 4 months until the return of *not Steve's* Jack Bauer. Having read some of the show producer and directors blogs it looks like they are heading away from big bombs and back to potential assassination stuff similar to day 1. And Chloe is back on board as is her shoulder-drilled hubby. *crosses fingers and prays for good writing*

LTTG, Steve, due to performing in Aida. Even though I've never seen The Office, I figured it out a little way through - mostly due to how many times you typed the phrase "the office" in the synopsis. ;-) Sounds like a riot, though!!

Yay, Ducky!

OUTSTANDING!!! I love The Office!!

This has been my favorite so far!

Dave nailed it- the Increasingly Amazing Steve!!

*kick starts blogomatic coffeemaker for early risers. Places out baskets of fresh bagels just texted from H&H in NYC*

Yawn- think I'll head to bed now that I am caught up on the Amazing Steve's amazing work. What a great bedtime story! Think the writers of 24 read these? Wouldn't that be great?

Nighty-night, all!

Note to Med. South Africa did a total shut-out of England on Friday the final score was SA 36 England 0 and England were lucky to get the 0.

Steve, that was great!! LOVE "The Office"!!!!

Hmmm...I have the same question as Wes. What happened to the two dudes?? they disappeared with Jack & co...but didn't reappear on the street.

Other than that I think this is one of your best ones, Steve!

oh and Good Mornin'! (Afternoon to Mot)

*grabs a bagel* (thanks and smoochies, ddd!)

Good Morning, my fine feathered friends!

*sips a steaming cuppa, reads paper, schmears cream cheese on bagel.....life is sweet*

Oh, and WHOO HOO! I'm post 24!!!! ^

*Digs into H&H sourdough bagel that was intercepted before transmittal; sends thanks to ddd*

Amazing work, Amazing Steve.

amazing, steve.

every time i read the word, "office" i drank a shot!
my boss isn't real happy with me right now. *hic*

If anyone's interested, I posted a summary of the Season 3 premiere episode of Prison Break on my blog. I've tried to watch that show for a couple of seasons now, couldn't take the off the wall things that happen in that show, and finally broke down and had to give it the "24 treatment".

Ok Steve, now what happened to those two guys???

I NEED TO KNOW!!

*sends cg some more coffee*

Me, too, coffee.

*sips steaming hot java*

Steve, I haven't read all of your 24 episodes. Have you done a Lost episode? (Not that I can figure out anything that's happening on Lost).

Yes, do tell us. We can't wait for next week.

*office*office*office*

Your references to aliens somehow made me remember "Mork and Mindy".....not sure how funny a 'Jack meets Orson' moment would be, but I'm sure he'd look great in those colorful suspenders.

Siouxie, all will be explained by the end... :-)

Daisymae.... yes, I did. Here's the link:

http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2007/08/24.html

Steve, you tease!

*snarfs down bagel and juice*

Mornin'! Steve, I have every bit of faith in you.

tw - Weird. I thought of Mork & Mindy too, but it was cos "Pam" reminded me of Pam Dawber.

A sidewalk on a busy street... I've got it, they're all gonna be on "Cops"...!

LOL or Reno 911!!

that would be a HOOT!!!!!

You’d be surprised at the number of women in Eastern Europe that contact me just wanting a friend. I also get quite a bit of e-mail from Nigeria, asking for my personal assistance. They send me attachments all the time, and I open everything. It’s important to be thorough and follow up on every lead in a job like mine.

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