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August 30, 2007

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

The Toilet-Torching Ghost Man of Africa

(In your comments, please maintain the classiness of this blog by refraining from making jokes about Sen. Larry Craig. Thank you.)

UPDATE: Apparently the Ghost Man of Africa is also in Florida.

Comments

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DEAR GOD!! again???

*torches eyes*

Anyone wanting to make a pit stop in the 2400 block of Southeast Warwick Drive might need to stop elsewhere after a suspicious fire destroyed a portable toilet Tuesday morning.

Well there goes my whole day shot to h3ll.

*and then depression set in*

Key quote: "Although the unknown man, who The Voice reported about a month ago that he was terrorising the officers by looting their food, clothes and other small items, resorting to arson was the last thing that the scared para-military officers had expected."

Fine editing.

My god Dave I wouldnt do that to my worst enemy.

Radical idea: Post SOBER guards.

*Suspects Sen. Larry Craig is The Voice.*

craig suffers from restless leg syndrome, is all.

Another Craig innuendo, or more stall tactics?

P'boy - just another ill-loo-shun.

"We found the culprit's shoes print both in the camp and near the burnt toilet. We know that it was the same guy because he wears the pair of shoes stolen from one officer in the camp. When we traced the prints it led us across the Zimbabwean boarder,"

Maybe that Zimbabwean boarder can tell them who it was.

Or wait, do you think they meant border and this is just another case of fine editing?

I mean, who wrote this thing, the New York Times?

SSG:

  • Secretary of State to the Governor?
  • Secretary to the State Government (such as this man of whose name this blog will not make fun)?
  • sodium stibogluconate?
  • Staff Sergeant?

no...it seems that it's the Special Supporting Group (as seen in this article).

*tap, tap, tap*

Excuse me. Can you spare a square?

More fine "editing by Cuisinart":

In his other message that left the officers grabbed with fear, was when he was implicating them for knowing what killed his father.

"You people know where my dead father is. Do you know why lighting strike once in a year? By Air force," read the note that was scribbled on the ground within the campsite.

Sheesh.

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