August 29, 2007
ATTENTION, PARENTS WHO ARE SENDING THEIR CHILDREN OFF TO COLLEGE, AND BELIEVE THAT WHEN THEY GRADUATE, THEY WILL GO OFF AND MAKE THEIR OWN WAY IN THE WORLD
We don't want to see any jokes about Senator Craig in the comments, OK? This is a classy blog.
CRIME CRACKDOWN IN TORRANCE, CALIFORNIA
Where landscapers are not free to roam the streets.
(Thanks to fivver)
POLITICAL NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
August 28, 2007
THE FABULOUS OPA-LOCKA TRAILER-ON-DUMPSTERS AIR-TRAFFIC-CONTROL TOWER
Tragically, its days are numbered.
The Amazing Steve has sent in the following image of the Jack Bauer game card:
(Thanks to Lisa Gibson)
(Thanks to Bruce)
A PAIR OF FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY
(Thanks to oneblankspace)
We admit we are hesitant about traveling there, and this sort of thing does not do anything to change our minds.
Key quote, amidst a sea of quotes that could have come straight out of Haight-Ashbury in the 60s: "I was watching Terubi wash the dishes one night when the words 'butt-biting bug' just suddenly popped into my mind," Uruma tells Sunday Mainichi, recalling the creation of their fabulously famous fairy.
(Thanks to DavCat)
VIDEO UPDATE, thanks to Baron vonKlyff in the comments section:
CLEARLY MISTAKEN HEADLINE OF THE DAY
(Thanks to Russell Mc, who adds that the headline writer has "never been to a Dem/Rep political convention")
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS?
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of your little sister.
(Thanks to Wes VonPapineau)
WHY WE NEED GUYS
Here is the opportunity of a lifetime.
WHY THIS BLOG DOES NOT TRUST THE SO-CALLED "MAINSTREAM MEDIA"
August 27, 2007
HERALD HUNT UPDATE
Why are these people so happy?
The Herald Hunt is coming.¹
Be here or drink beer.
(Which, we should note, also makes these people happy.)
¹(It was way more fun to say this when it was the Tropic Hunt).
NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE PEOPLE GET INTO...
...They always blame the beer.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
We assume that The Amazing Steve will be posting his ongoing summary of how he imagines 24 would be going this week if it were still going on. As usual there will be a placeholder post here at 9, with Steve posting in the comments.
Meanwhile, thanks to Martha Thomases, we have this report from Gen Con 2007, the gaming convention, containing a reference to this blog:
A game I found particularly amusing was the 24 Trading Card Game. This game is intensely immersed in its license; players play with 24 card decks to reach 24 points. I was immediately disappointed to find out that none of the Dave Barry 24 clichés made it to the cards. There’s no establishing of perimeters or even shooting people in the thigh. The game is a lot more fun if you only play while speaking in gruff voices, the resource system is even denominated in time so if you can’t afford a card in your hand you can loudly declare “There just isn’t enough time.” The raw mechanics do have potential though. If the upcoming base set can give players a little more to do to each other while in the mission phase of their turn this game could be a real winner. As is it seems that raw stats win the day with an alarming frequency.
This blog fails to understand how there can be a so-called "24" game with no thigh-shooting OR perimeters.
DIDN'T THEY OPEN FOR THE STRAWBERRY ALARM CLOCK?
(Thanks to RussellMc)
(Thanks to tinkerbell)
(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here)
(Thanks to Tom Meerschaert)
THESE KIDS TODAY
...they think they can get away with anything.
(Thanks to chicomathmom)
THE REAL-ESTATE MARKET IS IN THE TOILET
SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE
(Thanks to DavCat14)
OK NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
BOYS VS. GIRLS
The past two weeks have been High-School-Musical-2-a-Palooza around our house. If you don't have a daughter in the age range of about 6 through about 12, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But if you do, then you know that this is the biggest thing in the history of the world, even bigger than High School Musical 1. If you can imagine. It's the story of some high-school kids who are just like high-school kids everywhere except that they're all in their 20s and they spend the vast majority of their time performing elaborate musical song-and-dance numbers that your daughter wants to listen to several million times per day.
At least it's wholesome. I attended a birthday party over the weekend for an 11-year-old boy, and his most-prized gift was a video game called Destroy All Humans 2. I watched a little of it, and the only similarity between it and High School Musical 2 that I could detect is the "2."
POSSIBLE PROOF THAT FIDEL IS DEAD
August 26, 2007
WHY WE ARE GOING TO REMAIN THE GREATEST DARNED NATION ON THE WHOLE DARNED EARTH
We have the leaders of tomorrow.
FIDEL CASTRO UPDATE
August 25, 2007
FIDEL CASTRO UPDATE
He is still either dead, or not. We will report any further developments on this story as they do or do not occur.
BREAKING UPDATE: This blog has learned that, as of 9:48 a.m. Eastern Time Time, Fidel continues to be either dead or not.
CLARIFICATION: But Edgar still definitely is.
SHED A TEAR FOR BLINKY
Two tears, actually.
August 24, 2007
(Thanks to Layla Bohm)
WHAT WE DO FOR ENTERTAINMENT HERE IN MIAMI
We speculate, weekly, about whether Fidel is dead.
(Thanks to several people, the first being onterrible, who notes: "Alcohol was involved.")
THIS IS SERIOUSLY MESSED UP
Half a million dollars for a beer, and you can't even DRINK it???
(Thanks to Drew burrpppp excuse me Harchick)
We have absolutely no idea what this is about, but we, as a woman, are in full support.
Key quote: The players took turns showing off their pads one by one, much to the delight of the crowd of onlookers.
(Thanks to Rob White)
(Thanks to Rob White)
ADVISORY TO LONGHORNS FANS
Key Alarming Medical Phrase: "extensive damage to another man's scrotum."
(Thanks to BillyJoeJimBob)
OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE
(Thanks to Jim Gilboy)