IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Chastity Belts for Spiders

(Thanks to Craig Berg)

Comments

[padraig]

None of the males on this list will be able to respond fully to this until we figure out how to unclench our crossed legs...

[padraig]

Ok, I'm relaxed now (don't ask how).

So the question on every male's mind after reading this has got to be: How long's it take one of them things to grow back?

Oh, and please: no "keep the tip" jokes.

[AmerInParis]

On behalf of the guys: OUCH!!!

Also, what a way to make a living....not!

[Bãrön vønKlýff]

"Genital tip as a 'cork'"

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... and *snork*

[Siouxie]

The female usually puts an end to the affair after a few seconds by attacking her partner and killing him if he does not escape in time.

IF only...

[BillyJoeJimBob]

"...when the sexual orifice was blocked, the game was over after only eight seconds; normally male spiders copulate for twice as long."

Knowing that you're about to be killed by your lover will ruin your staying power every time!

[SW]

"...the oviposition is unaffected by the ‘chastity belt’: ‘for that the females have a separate aperture...’"

With eight legs, that's not surprising.

[Siouxie]

What they all have in common is that the female attempts to kill her partner during intercourse.

I would kill the bastid too if he did his thing, broke off his penis and kept me from having more sex.

[wickedwitch]

that's why you keep a supply of black widow spiders around your house, Siouxie. see spider post back there aways.

[Siouxie]

I saw, wicked and I ^5'd ya!! vewwwy clever!

[fivver]

Source: University of Bonn

Jeez guys, just go back to invading France or something.

[Bethie]

And yet, the male spiders still seems awfully eager for sex.

[russellmc]

‘The males show maximum investment.’

understatment of the day....

"Jutta and the Detached Tips" wbagnfarb

[SW]

Ich bin ein schtickitinner.

[Schadeboy]

Bethie - all guys are willing to court death if it means we get to have sex.

I will admit, I didn't get past the whole tip-of-the-genital thing, on this article.

[ubetcha]

*snork* #2 of the day for Stevie. My coworkers are beginning to wonder.

Why does this story remind me of Punkin's "trip to the vet?"

[Mitch Connor]

Wasn't this blogged a couple of months ago?

[DeskDiva]

Stevie, I live for your comments.

[Alive and Kickin']

So, somebody's gotta ask...if the service is good does the dude spider leave more than the standard 15% tip?

[SW]

Oh, just stop it, dd. You too, ub. I embarrass easily.

[Siouxie]

*swooons over Stevie*

A&K, it's all or nuthin' mister! Although, if she's gotta ask "is it in yet??" he ain't doing his job too well...iykwim.

[SW]

I try to be always prepared and carry a few mucus plugs in my wallet.

(Lol, sxi. You know I have a special one with your name on it.)

[Siouxie]

Gosh, Stevie...my OWN mucus plug?? how disgustingly romantic of you!

[Annie Where-but-here]

All right, guys - put a cork in it.

[Siouxie]

HAR!

[Alive and Kickin']

Put a cork in whut?

[Siouxie]

HEY BUDDY! keep that cork away!

[Scott]

Siouxie - If I read the article right, the female can keep on having sex with other partners, but they won't be able to impregnate her, what with the first guy's spider schlong blocking the way and all. So really, it's like nature's own form of birth control.

[Siouxie]

I read that too, Scott. But how?? with the blockage?? I mean...really. HOW?

[Betsy]

along came a spider that snapped off inside her...

[marfie]

okay, broken tips and mucus plugs - I think male spiders have some serious self-esteem problems, they always seem to be worried about cheatin' females...

[Siouxie]

LOL Betsy!

[ArcticAl]

Quote: "The tip of their genital breaks off during intercourse, blocking the sexual orifice of the lady spider."

I'm rocking quietly in the corner sucking my thumb after reading this, trying hard to not think about how this would feel for the male. Having my partner kill me after sex does seem to be a viable alternative.