RETURN RECEIPT REQUESTED
It's a small thing, but it's like a chigger. You know? Chiggers. They burrow under your skin¹ and itch and burn and when you were a kid you scratched 'em til they bled 'cause they just drove you NUTS.
"Return Receipt Requested" is the chigger of the s.b.'s online world.
"Hi there! I don't trust you! My name is John. I'd like to talk to you about this item of interest to us both, but I don't trust you to behave like an adult human being and reply if you are interested. And oh yes, if you don't reply, I'm going to badger you about it, and if, once I finally reach you, you try to tell me you didn't see my email, I'll triumphantly crow, 'But I've got proof that you opened it on July 19, 2007!' Have I mentioned that I think you're a lying slob? But let's do business. Better yet, let me ask this favor of you, you cheating, lying (until-proven-otherwise) scum. Thanks so much!"
Please, don't anybody say, "Someone needs to get a life." We are busy scratching.
----------------
¹UPDATE: Okay, they don't burrow under the skin. From Wikipedia: "Contrary to popular belief, the larvae do not burrow deep into the skin and live there. Rather, the larvae pierce the skin and inject powerful enzymes that digest cellular contents, which become liquified and are consumed by the larvae."
We feel much better.
Download your 'Fins iPhone application
Jazzzie! SMOOCHES!
My work here today is done.
Posted by: casey | July 25, 2007 at 05:09 PM
Stevie's on a roll today!
*winks at Jazzzz*
Posted by: Eleanor | July 25, 2007 at 05:14 PM
*cleans up puddle of drool*....suuuuuuuuuuuuure! ;-0
Posted by: Jazzzz | July 25, 2007 at 05:15 PM
My e-mail client has the option of never sending an acknowledgment back that I received or opened an e-mail message. I turned that option on. Even if someone sends something to me with "confirm delivery receipt" and "read receipt requested," they'll never get any acknowledgment message back from me.
If they then ask, "Did you get my e-mail?," I simply give them a one-word answer: "Yes" -- then let my subsequent lack of elaboration clue them in.
Posted by: Wavey | July 25, 2007 at 05:16 PM
Thanks, Siouxie & SW (and *snorks* to Mr. Death and SW's list of Skin-pathetic Songs)!
*hands Jazzzzie a towel to wipe up drool*
*flaps off to buy large, economy size insect repellant and hydrocortisone spray*
Posted by: Just Ducky | July 25, 2007 at 05:20 PM
*Exchanges repellant for repellent*
Posted by: Just Ducky | July 25, 2007 at 05:23 PM
Can I take this time for a mini-rant? Why thank you, thank you so much.
I wish you guys would quit correcting your misspellings. (Is that spelled correctly?) I simply don't give a crap, I KNOW all of you are incredibly smart and witty. Who cares if you misspell (sp???) something? I hang around here hoping some of y'alls smarts will rub off on me and I'm starting to get a complex cuz I are not a two good a speller type person.
Unless of course, you are getting tired of my sloppy grammar and misspellings (sp??) and want me to buck up and be more responsible. Am I bringing the collective IQ level of the blog down cuz I aint too bright?
Wasn't there something floating around a while ago that said as long as your intended word began and ended with the correct letters, all the letters in the middle could be completely screwed up, but people could still read and understand the message perfectly. Mybae I'll strat wirtnig lkie taht.
Is it wroknig?
Posted by: casey | July 25, 2007 at 05:37 PM
ROFLMAO, case!! It's PERFECT!
Posted by: DeskDiva | July 25, 2007 at 05:45 PM
Casey, I'm still running through meadows.
*even though it's a picture of a beautiful ancient Greek statue, WARNING*
Posted by: fivver | July 25, 2007 at 06:07 PM
Cesay's arligth whit su!
Posted by: Mealie the Bune | July 25, 2007 at 06:26 PM
fiv' ... that map of the Mull of Kintyre seems to be upside down ... merely sayin' ...
and ...
She's giving away pus kitties in the parking lot?
Yeah, but only if you found her car keys ...
and ...
*visualizes casey ... runnin' thru meadows ... spellin' everythin' correctly ... NAH! The nekkid imagery is LOTS more fun ... um ... nevermind ...*
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | July 25, 2007 at 06:29 PM
*searches for hidden camera casey's planted in my house
Posted by: Jazzzz | July 25, 2007 at 06:47 PM
FIVVER! That is hilarious! You are a Centaur: a mythical creature: Here's something I shared with someone else once upon a time(sorry, can't do the linky thing):
http://www.choiceshirts.com/item/k/pl-90115a/
Posted by: casey | July 25, 2007 at 10:45 PM
reality update, in case anyone cares: the option to turn off the receipt thingy is not an option for me, because my version of the email proggy does not match the version on the server. which is way more information than even i actually wanted, but hey, thanks robin, for finding out! ;)
Posted by: judi | July 26, 2007 at 12:01 AM
Dang!
I HATE it when that happens ...
Sorry, judi ... perhaps you'll be fortunate enuf to discover tomorrow that sumbuddy has broken into your office, and *gasp!!!* stolen your computer ... BUT IT'S NOT ENTIRELY A TRAGEDY!!! Becuz the security guys saw him, and, while in pursuit, he DROPPED THE COMPUTER ... OFFA THE BRIDGE (you do have bridges in Miamie, right?) ... and ... golly, they'll hafta buy you a NEW one ... OH, THIS IS
WONDERFUL!!!REALLY BAD!!! BUT OUR WONDERFUL judi will maintain her poise and dignity, and struggle with the added chore of learning how to operate her NEW COMPUTER!!!Well judi, I tried ... hope it werks out ...
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | July 26, 2007 at 12:42 AM
Some really neat-o shirts on that site, casey ... I like the Monty Python one, among others ...
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | July 26, 2007 at 10:55 AM