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July 30, 2007

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY, NOT TO MENTION ROMANTIC GIFT ITEM, STORY OF THE DAY

(Thanks to many people who are not sorting panda poop for a living)

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"They don't smell too bad because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest," Jing said.

Yes, but the other 30 percent is SH!T!

Yay!!! I got posted!!! OK, well, sort of. ;-)

i do admit to receiving a lot of crap gifts in my life, but so far, nothing made from actual crap.

Punkin, can you honestly say that at least 30% of YOUR job ISN'T poo? I mean, really, counting the blank space, 30% of your NAME is 'poo.'

You're welcome, judi ;-)

"We used to spend at least 6,000 yuan ....a month to get rid of the droppings..."

We're gonna need more Mexicans.

For those worried about how sanitary this is and/or the smell:


An official who answered the phone at the Chengdu facility said the dung is "carefully selected, smashed, dried and sterilized at 300 degrees Celsius (572 degrees Fahrenheit)." He refused to give his name but said the products will be of all colors because they will be dyed.

[Maybe they can put the dying process on a live webcam too!]

"They don't smell too bad because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest," Jing said.

No, John that was the drying process.... ;-)

While no price has been set, he said the most expensive souvenirs will contain a panda hair — collected from the wild — in each package.

I guess pandas living in captivity don't shed?

Once again, I am reminded of Mike Rowe and his Dirty Jobs.

Brought to you by the people who brought you that tasty killer pet food. :(

Speaking of pets, Annie - how's Jake doing?

"the most expensive souvenirs will contain a panda hair — collected from the wild — in each package."

Wild Panda Hairballs WBAGNFARB

Also, "Wild Panda Hairballs" WBAGNF something I would NOT want my pet to catch.

People who spend good money on gimmicks like this are getting bamboozled.

Bamboozled would imply that the people were conned into buying the panda crap SW. In this case, they know upfront what the hell it is they are buying. Therefore, they are just stupid.

This is true. I have a friend who was hired by the Seattle Zoo to turn its elephant dung into handmade paper. The zoo has "painting elephants" that then draw on this elephant-dung canvas, commanding $2,000 or more for a single piece.

I believe they display it in a Peanut Gallery.

Hey mary!

Whatever you do, do NOT let your kids read the previous thread! By popular demand, Punkin has linked to her "buzzzzin'" story.

Siouxie -- Thanks for the warning. The kids have all been securely locked in the basement as a precaution.

mary - that elephant story is just...ew. I mean, who the heck thinks this crap up?

The Chinese do Diva! Who else could pawn that crap off on the world.

Ohhhh....right! Panda...China...Jack...Cheng... of course!

DD -- The marketing people, I'm sure. :)

Either that or the folks who don't wanna have to haul off the poop. I mean - imagine what elephants put out in a day!!

*gags at self*

Or don't.

*urk*

Come on now, think about it. You don't really care for someone, but for whatever reason, you're forced by some constraint of society to make nice. So.... you send them a lovely gift, neglecting until later to mention it's made of Panda Dung. Tusk, tusk.

I can think of a few people I'd like to send some "poop in disguise" to.

hehehe...BRILLLIANT!!!

When I was in jr. high my sister was living in Alaska and sent me a genuine moose turd key chain. It was lacquered and even though I didn't have any keys, I carried it everywhere just for the response, which was pretty much always the same.

uh..and that would be: "EWWWWWWWWWWWWW", ubetcha??

*waits for a "Panda Present" from Siouxie*

I'm surprised that no one has noted the RBNing potential of "Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base"

It was "ewwwwww" and I loved it! The label even said "Moose Made in Alaska."

*Will be making the cats work overtime to create "Special" gifts for the bloggers for the Holidays. It'll be a surprise!*

How do THEY know the moose was made in Alaska, ubetcha? Maybe his parents emigrated from Canada after he was born!


...soon we will have Panda Poop manufacturing plants in the USA producing poop packages made by US workers.

I mean as long as it employs US workers, no problem, right ?

Not anymore it won't, Hammie!!

*reminds self to nail up mailbox by december 1*

*WAVES!!*

*Waves @ DD!!*

HAMMIE!! Waves @!!!

Hairball Heirlooms by Hammie! LOVE IT!!

Um...Tex? Do you mean the POOP comes from US workers, or the construction of the package? Just clarifying....


...or maybe we could use Punkin Poohp. That way, it's already produced in the US by a red-blooded American.

* waves flag in the face of those Chinese Commies *

DD. Like Toyota does.

Would those be Heirballs, then, Siouxie? Or possibly Hairlooms? ;-P

If you're interested in pics from our show, Hammie, you can find them linked on the forum. I'm in the lavender dress with the royal purple accents.

Sorry DD. The Poop would be produced in China and assembled / packaged in US.

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!*

Oh - reverse economics!


DD. Exactly ! Economic slaves to a foreign country.

Great pics Diva!

Thanks, Danny!!! :) :)

Oh - I didn't take those photos. Those were done by others.

"The Chinese do Diva!"

Hey, DocRick(2:35pm): Wasn't that the bootleg Asian porn tape you sent me? No wonder they're such good acrobats.

Plagarized Unicorn poop!!

The Humanity...

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