24

Here, from London, is your abbreviated summary of the plot so far:

Edgar is still dead.

This has been your abbreviated summary of the plot so far. We now turn you over to The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

NOTE: Some of you may have noticed that while the episode said it took place between “12 midnight and 1 am”, the actual times were listed in the episode as running from 1 am to 2 am. This was completely due to the fact that the number twelve key on my keyboard was broken last week. Rest assured that the keyboard in question has been severely reprimanded, and there’s a 50-50 chance this won’t happen again.

24 – Two Days Later – Hour 7

The following takes place between 1 am and 2 am (really, I mean in this time)

1:00 am – Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack stand in front of the door for a moment, when Morris starts to reach for the doorbell. Actually, it’s not so much a doorbell as it is some kind of old-fashioned door knob. Chloe stops him by yelling, “Will you just wait a minute? I’m sick and tired of what’s happening around here! One minute we’re back home, the next minute we’re in someone’s house. Then we’re in outer space! THEN Jack nearly gets killed by a giant robotic squirrel! And all this time, we’re chasing around Cheng, and God knows how many ninjas, or terrorists, or whatever they are! And your very next reaction is to just go along with things, and try and see who’s behind that door? I want to know what’s going on around here, and I want to know RIGHT NOW!”

1:02 am – Everyone is a bit taken aback by Chloe’s outburst and stands silently for a minute. Jack finally says, “Look Chloe, we’re doing the best we can. We can’t panic. We’re all trying to figure this out. Before we do anything else, we need to get in touch with CTU. The best thing we can do is try to find a federal courthouse or a police precinct.”

Bill and Morris agree, and Chloe seems satisfied. Bill says, “Let’s get out of here. This abandoned house is creepy.”

1:04 am – They start to walk towards the front wrought-iron gate of the house, which is unlocked and swinging in the wind. The cement walkway is lined on either side with dead flowers, and what little grass there is in the lawn is dead. The address on the gate is “0001 Cemetery Ridge”. As they walk onto the sidewalk next to the street, the gate slams closed and bolts itself shut behind them.

1:06 am – They start heading towards what appears to be the main part of town. As they walk Morris says, “Well, let’s go through what we know. When we were in the warehouse, there was a computer wired up to that arch. After we went through, it was like a one way trip: We couldn’t go back because the arch had turned into a solid wall!”

Bill says, “And the thing I don’t understand is how we could be flipping around between all these places, but at the same time we keep finding the terrorists we’ve been chasing after.”
Chloe says, “Whatever has been making us move between these places must be doing the same thing to them. If I could only get my hands on that computer…”

1:07 am - They walk past some storefronts before reaching a police station. They walk up the steps and go in. At the main desk, a police officer argues with someone on the phone, “I’m not going to argue with you any more. I’m not going out there no matter what kind of howling or explosions you hear. …. Yeah, Yeah… I love you too, Mom.” He hangs up the phone, and asks Jack, “What can I do for you?”

1:08 am – Jack holds up his badge and says, “My name is Jack Bauer. We’re all with the Counter Terrorism Unit in Los Angeles. Our phones don’t work, and we need to reach someone there to help us. Can I use your phone?”

The officer looks at him suspiciously and says, “Counter Terrorism Unit? Like soda fountain counters? What kind of place is that?”

Jack says, “Look, all I want is to be able to talk to my superiors, I’d appreciate it if you’d give me a phone.”

The officer shrugs and hands Jack the phone. Chloe says, “Jack, wait. We’ve been through this before. We can’t get CTU on the phone. We’re going to need some help from the people here.” Jack dials anyway, and gets a recording saying that the number he dialed isn’t in service. Chloe smirks.

1:10 am – Morris says, “We have to think about this. Every place we’ve gone, we’ve seen the terrorists nearby. We haven’t had to go far, and sometimes we’re nearly on top of them when we arrive. Shouldn’t we go back to that old mansion on Cemetery Ridge?”

The officer at the desk interrupts Morris, “Cemetery Ridge? You mean the Addams house?”

Bill says, “I don’t know if it’s the Addams house, but the address is 0001 Cemetery Ridge.”

The officer says, “Well, you’re on your own then. None of my guys are going there with you.”

Another officer standing nearby says, “Yeah, they’re creepy and they’re kooky!”

A third officer agrees, “They’re altogether ookie!”

Morris says, “What’s ‘ookie’?”

The officer says, “I’m not sure. It just sounded like the thing to say.”

Commercial

1:16 am - Jack, Chloe, Morris and Bill are back on the street headed back towards to the mansion where they first arrived. Morris says, “I can’t believe the police won’t go to this place. Do they think it’s haunted or something?”

Jack says, “Never mind that. I’ve been thinking. That knife that I had from that space ship… Doesn’t it seem a little weird to you that I still had it? Everything else around us changes radically, but I was able to bring that with me?”

Chloe says, “Not necessarily.” She pats her purse. “We still have everything we’ve been carrying around since this whole thing started. Whenever we switch to a new place, the only things that have come through have been us and whatever we’re carrying. You probably brought that knife and that ray gun with you, just by having them with you when we switched to wherever this is.”

1:18 am – They arrive at 0001 Cemetery Ridge. Jack says, “We’ll go in through the front door. We arrived at that door together when we first got here, so that’s the best bet.”

Bill says, “Won’t that be dangerous?”

Jack replies, “Well look at it this way. Every time we go in the back way, someone shoots at us. This way they’ll be taken completely by surprise.

Morris reaches for the handle on the gate, and the gate opens by itself! Bill seems startled by this, but Morris isn’t as impressed. “I’m sure this is some sort of ‘home automation’ device. It’s rigged to open whenever someone gets near it.” They walk the pathway up to the house.

Bill reaches the door first, and opens the door. The door opens slightly and then slams shut. Bill opens the door again, and this time holds the door handle to keep it open. A hand appears from around the door and slaps Bill’s hand. Bill is so startled that he lets go and the door slams shut again.

1:20 am – They all look at each other. Jack steps forward and just as he reaches for the door handle, the door opens. Inside the door is the largest man any of them have ever seen. He looks like he hasn’t gotten any sleep in a very long time. His face is pale, and there are rings under his eyes. He’s dressed as a butler. The man stares at them, but doesn’t say anything. Jack finally speaks up, “Ah, hello. My name is Jack Bauer. We’re here to see the person that’s in charge.”
The man says, “Follow me.”

1:22 am – They follow the man into the house down a small hallway. The inside of the house is elaborately decorated with hunting trophies, strange looking furniture, and wild looking portraits. The man reaches some steps at the end of the hallway. He says, “Jack Bauer.”

They all step up to the edge of the steps and a croquette ball hits Morris in the middle of the forehead and knocks him out.

Commercial

1:27 am – Morris starts to wake up, but he seems out of it. Morris blinks a couple of times at the woman kneeling next to him. She has long black hair and is wearing a long black dress. She holds up three fingers and says, “What color is this?” Morris says, “Uh… Hamburger?” She turns to someone behind them, “Gomez, he’s fine. Nothing that a little hemlock won’t cure.” Chloe, Bill and Jack give each other looks as though they were trying to figure out if they heard what they just thought they heard. The woman gets up and shuffles down the stairs and into the living room. Chloe turns to Morris and says, “Morris, are you O.K.?”

1:29 am – “Morticia helps me every time that happens! A little glue and that croquette ball will be in shape in no time!” says Gomez. Gomez has black hair and a thin black moustache.

Jack stands up with some help from Bill. Jack says, “We’re looking for the person in charge. Are you in charge here?”
Gomez says, “Oh! You’ll want Fester!” He steps over to a hangman’s noose that’s hanging from the ceiling and pulls on it. A very loud gong sounds. Morris falls over again. Jack, Chloe and Bill barely keep their balance. Morticia and Gomez aren’t affected by the noise.

The tall man from before walks out from a room behind Gomez and says, “You rang?”

1:33 am – Gomez replies, “Lurch! Get Fester, would you?” He then turns to Jack, and says, “Fester will be here in a moment.” Gomez asks Morticia, “Now where were we? Can I have a ruling on that last shot? It was about to go through those wickets before it….. Fester!” Gomez turns to a man on the stairs.

1:34 am – Everyone turns and sees a man dressed in a black robe with a fur collar. He has a light bulb in his mouth, and it’s lit! Fester says, “Hiya!”

Gomez tells Jack, “Fester is more ‘in charge’ than anyone else I know!”

Jack says, “That’s not what I meant! I meant, ‘Who’s the head of the household?’”

Gomez says, “Well, why didn’t you say so? That would be Great Uncle Snerk, wouldn’t it, Tish?”

“Oh, yes. He’s had his head in that jar for years now. Loves it in there. The only time I’ve ever heard him complain about it is when Cousin Phlegm poured champagne into his tank. He said it made his nose all bubbly!”

Morticia says, “Why don’t you all get a bit more comfortable.” Fester pulls up a chair for Chloe.

Jack feels something at his side. He looks down and sees that a hand reaching out from a box has grabbed the phaser in his pocket, and it pulling it back into the box! Jack grabs the phaser. Jack arms are pulled down into the box all the way up to his armpits!

Fester says, “Oh, that’s just Thing. He’s just helping you put things away!”

Jack yells, “It’s doing something to my hands!”

Fester says, “I told you before, that’s THING. Cousin Itt is over there!” A short creature covered with hair shambles into the room, and says something unintelligible.

Jack finally pulls his hands free, and he looks at his hands to make sure they’re O.K. He does a double take and says, “Hey! My hands are manicured!”

Commercial

1:39 am – Lurch appears from another room and announces “Lunch!”

Morticia shuffles over to Chloe, “Oh, you pure dear! You look absolutely famished! You really must stay for lunch.”

Chloe welcomes this hospitality, and says, “Thanks, I’m not feeling very well. I’m pregnant, and I think we all are a bit hungry.”

Morticia says, “You’re going to have a baby? How exciting? Do you know what it’s going to be?”
Chloe says that she hopes it’s a boy, Morris is hoping for a girl. Morticia says, “Boy? Girl? Young people have no imagination these days. How disappointing.” She turns to ask Lurch, “Lurch, be a dear, and pop a few more wombats into the oven, s’il vous plait?”

Gomez says, “TISH! That’s French!” He starts kissing Morticia on the arm.

Morticia reminds him, “Company, darling! Company!”

Gomez says, “Oh, of course… Where are my manners? Off to lunch!”

Chloe leans over to Jack, “Wombats? I’m not eating wombats! This place gives me the creeps!”

Morticia seems a little surprised, “No, dear, I’m sorry. We just had the last of the creeps for breakfast this morning. We’re having a bit of a treat tonight, since wombat is one of Uncle Fester’s favorites.”

1:43 am – There’s a loud explosion from somewhere outside. Jack yells, “WHAT WAS THAT?”

Gomez seems surprised that Jack is so alarmed. “Why, I think that’s just Pugsley out playing in the backyard.”
Fester says, “Gomez, isn’t Pugsley still at Camp Crystal Lake?”

Gomez thinks about that a second, and says, “By Jove, you’re right!”

Morticia says, “Then it must be those nice Chinese Building Inspectors.”

Bill, Chloe, Morris and Jack, say, “Chinese Building Inspectors? What Chinese Building Inspectors?” all at the same time.

They all look at each other, and Bill says, “O.K…. That was weird.”

1:45 am - Morticia asks Gomez, “When we sent them out back, do you think we should have mentioned the children’s mine field?”
Jack yells, “Those men are wanted terrorists! How do we get out there?” Fester volunteers to take them to the backyard.

Commercial

1:51 am – Jack, Bill, Chloe and Morris emerge from the back of the mansion, “How big is this place? It took a long time to get out here in the back yard.” Fester confesses that he gave the scenic route, since they don’t have guests that stay very long. Gomez opens a door the leads from the house to the backyard, and says, “If you didn’t want the scenic route, you could have just taken this to the backyard.”

1:53 am – Jack says, “We’re wasting time! Where are they?”

Gomez says, “Well, the last time someone did something like this, we found them down by the swamp. And in that tree. And in that tree over there….”

Lurch points to the mansion roof, and says, “Mr. Addams….”

Everyone looks up, and we can see several of the terrorists climbing up the outside of the Addams mansion.

1:55 am – Jack says, “What’s the best way to get up there?”

Fester says, “I sleep up in that belfry! I’ll show you the way!” He starts to go back inside the house.

Jack hesitates and says, “We don’t have enough time. I have to get up there, NOW!” He looks around, and realizes the answer is standing there right in front of him. Jack says, “Lurch! You have to give me a boost to the roof so I can climb up!”
Lurch shakes his head and grunts, “Uhhhhhhhhh…..”

Gomez says, “Come on, old man!”

This small amount of urging convinces Lurch, and he cups his hands for Jack to step into.

Gomez continues, “It’s just like when we play Heads and Tails!”

Jack hears this and says, “Wait a minute…What did …. AHHHHH!” Lurch stands up quickly and lifts with all his might, sending Jack flying through the air. He goes past the edge of the roof that he hoped to climb to, past the terrorists climbing up the building, and past the very top of the roof. He hangs in mid-air for a split second, and starts coming down again.

1:57 am - A large net comes out of the belfry, and catches Jack. He’s dazed, and sees that Thing is there with Cousin Itt. Jack starts to say something, and Cousin Itt starts jabbering away in some unintelligible language. They pull Jack over to the edge of the belfry and Jack asks Thing for his phaser. Thing disappears into the floor boards.

1:58 am - Jack sees the terrorists converging on a gargoyle attached to the building. They’re trying to pry it off its perch. Jack hears a scream from the ground, and looks down to see Chloe, Morris and Bill surrounded by the terrorists. Jack leans out from where he’s standing in the belfry and yells, “Leave them alone! I’m coming to help you!”

1:59 am – A metallic voice behind Jack says, “But who will help you, Jack?” Jack turns around. There’s a man dressed completely in black on the landing next to where Jack is standing. The hairy creature tries to kick the man in the shin, but it doesn’t have any effect. He’s wearing a black hood with a metal screen over the area where his mouth is. Jack tries to kick the man in the face, but the man is too quick! He grabs Jack’s foot by the heel, and pushes with all his might! Jack goes tumbling backwards off the building headed to the ground below.

There’s a bright flash.

Jack materializes in mid-air and falls into a swimming pool.

2:00 am - Time’s up!

[OtheU(manity)]

Oh, MY!!!

Better'n'better ... WTG, Steve!!!

[Just Ducky]

Creepy? No. Kooky? Yes. Amazing? Yes, indeed. And a cameo by Darth Vader! The Force is surely with you, Steve.

[Wes S.]

Steve, this is great! Keep it up!

[casey]

Steve, you are my hero.

[CJrun]

I think this Addams Family episode has been my favorite....

[The blog reader formerly known as Matt]

Hit the blogbar hard for me. I'm back off to work.

[Jeannie]

Thanks Steve. You continue to be truly amazing!

[homeybeef]

where oh where could them folks be now? This is one wacky adventure

[Edgar Greenberg]

But what happened to "You Rang?"

[Doc Rick]

Steve, just based on your intro as to time screw ups you have been awarded a full year's contract on the BIG show. Congratulations!.....oh wait, we've already screwed up that bad. Never mind! *just kidding Stevie! Hadn't even noticed*

[Doc Rick]

Holy crap Steve. Your not about to go to the dark side are you? ARE YOU?

hehe

[Ms. Nomer]

Wheeeeee!

[DeskDiva]

HEY Doc!!! :) I'll go back and read shortly, but I wanted to make sure I said hi if you're still around!

[DeskDiva]

Oh, this was the BEST YET!!!! I'm a huge Addams family fan and this was rockin' awesome!

I'm wondering if they landed in a "cee-ment pond." Hm.

[DeskDiva]

STEVE - I forgot to say that you captured the Addams's dialogue smashingly well. It was brilliant.

[diverdowndoc]

Steve- I was never an Addams Family fan until now.

[John Cow]

Say, are you the Dave that says cows are the fastests animals on the planet? Otherwise we linked to the wrong Dave

[rob]

Beverly Hillbillys here we come! Jack lands in the ceement pond! Maybe?

[ubetcha]

Steve, you are AWESOME. I'll have what you're drinking.

*patiently waiting for judi to entertain us gals*

[Leetie]

Steve,

Seriously. Excellent.

I look forward to every week's episode. :)

[Siouxie]

Mornin'!!

ubetcha, I'll have whatever he's smokin'!

Excellent, Steve the Magnificent!

[diverdowndoc]

Mornin' Siouxie! The doclings know me too well- one of my Birthday cards played Kiss' "Rock and Roll all night" and the other played Smashmouth. Those guys are da bomb!

[Hammond Rye]

DDD, did you get issued a birthday?

[diverdowndoc]

I did! Standard issue today. Mr. ddd and I are celebrating thus far by trying to get our finances in order.

Hope it gets better because this is depressing.

[Hammond Rye]

Happy Birthday!!!!!

[diverdowndoc]

Though I hear tell-tale backing-up-beeps from outside, so construction continues unabated. Mr.ddd dropped the doclings off at camp this morning and returned to find the Dirt Fairy had come.

[Meditrina]

Diver -

They say it's your birthday!
It's my birthday too, not,
They say it's your birthday!
We're gonna have a good time...........

Many more happy returns, Diverdocdarlin'!

[diverdowndoc]

Thanks Hammy!

[Bãrön vønKlýff]

The blog must be suffering from a case of iron crotch... hangover... jet-lag since our morning posting has not arrived for us to be snarky at. I guess I will have to do a sudoku work instead

[diverdowndoc]

I thought I heard you blurking, Meditrina! Thanks!

[Siouxie]

((((((((((((ddd))))))))))))))HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SEXIEST DOC I WOULD DO IF I WERE GAY (NTTAWWT)!!

[Siouxie]

damn and I missed a birthday simul!!!

[Meditrina]

Note to self: quietly loiter.

[diverdowndoc]

LOL Siouxie! Wow, thanks! That's one of the most disturbing yet strangely flattering things I've ever heard!

[Siouxie]

hehe...yer welcome ;-)

I mean I DO have my standards. That "would do" list is selective.

[diverdowndoc]

Med- it was the brussel sprouts and the humming that gave you away.

Speaking of brussel sprouts, diverdowndog already gave me a salute here in my office this morning- PHEW! It made my eyes water, and not in a good way. It is nicer here on the blog.

[Siouxie]

In fact, Med...after a nice meal at her new place of employment and some fine Chardonnay, may just wooooo me. (IIWG - NTTAWWT).

[Meditrina]

Diver - did it remind you of German bromodosis stinkfoot? I can send over a swat team for evacuation if necessary.

[fudtheman]

Happy Birthday ddd!

Sioux - Matt Damon in the Bourne Identity is at the top of my list.

[Hammond Rye]

Is that where that woooing sound is coming from?

[Siouxie]

fud, you have fine taste in men.

*WAVES @ Hammie*!!!!

[Hammond Rye]

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!!!*

[diverdowndoc]

It did, Med!

Thanks fud!

[Mot the Hoople]

((((((((DDD)))))))) birthdays come by with much too frequent regularity these days but despite that, have a great day.

[Meanie the Blue]

Happy [number]eth Birthday, doc! And many more, only not necessarily like this.

(Warning: not especially suitable for work.)

[Siouxie]

*AHHHHOOOHHHSNORK* @ Meanie's "birthday video"

[Meditrina]

(Warning: not especially suitable for work.)

Meanie, Ya think?!!!

ROFLMAO!! Thanks, doc. That made ME appreciate your birthday.

[wickedwitch]

After working with me for 9 years, my boss is pretty much immune to embarrasment, but when i checked out the 'birthday video' he turned bright red and ran away. Good one MtB!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

HBD DDD !!!

Are all of you Floridians OK?

[crossgirl]

awesome job, steve!! this was my favorite.

happy birthday ddd, hope you get lots of frogs.

[Steve Haller]

Good show as always. But you still haven't gotten around to my favorite. I'd like to see Jack hauled into court for his questionable interrogation activities by Lt Tragg and Hamilton Burger and defended by Perry Mason with the help of Paul Drake. Throw in that great theme music and I'm there...!

[Siouxie]

Chris, fine here in Miyami. We'll be giving that pilot and Florida Driver's license. awful though.

[Siouxie]

*jumps up and grabs the extra nd*

[Mot the Hoople]

Meanie the Blue from submarine the yellow, that was a very naughty video, My dogs are looking at me strangely as I choked on my tea with laughter.

[Mot the Hoople]

Meanie the Blue from submarine the yellow, that was a very naughty video, My dogs are looking at me strangely as I choked on my tea with laughter.

[Bãrön vønKlýff]

It's 10:38 am (Florida Driving Time)... Do you know where your blog is?

[Meditrina]

Uh, Baron, somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, I believe. ;)

[Siouxie]

Baron, he was flying home so ...hopefully not inside that Orlando house.

[Bãrön vønKlýff]

Ahhhhh... I thought he flew back yesterday. My bad.

oh, and 'appy anniversaire DDD.

[Siouxie]

Actually, you're right. It was yesterday. ok..he's probably still on England time which would make it almost 4 which means he's at Fritz & Frans drinking recuperating from his trip.

THERE! I found the Blog! (judi may have joined him like the great assistant she be).

[Just Ducky]

Happy birthday to you, ddd
You're this blog's favorite blonde M.D.
Have fun today--you rule!
(Just don't fall in your pool)
And please save a piece of cake for me!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Happy Birthday, DDD!

[crossgirl]

someone say beer? and cake?!

[Eleanor]

*zips in*™

Happy Birthday, DDD!!!

That was some video, Blue!

*fans self*

[OtheU(manity)]

OK ... Happy Day, ddd ... enjoy ...

Sorry I missed the link, MtB ... somethin' about bein' 18 & signin' up or registerin' ... so ... that shut the door fer my access ...

[Siouxie]

cg, two of my favorite food groups.

Ducky! excellent song!

*smooch* to El!

[crossgirl]

dpc, fine here, that is the fourth central florida aviation fatality since yesterday afternoon. sadly, my ex was not involved in either.

[OtheU(manity)]

... and ... I apologize in advance for bein' cranky and curmudgeonlyistical ... HOWever ...

WTF!!! is goin' on with this stoopid server?

Over half the time when I click "post" ... it goes to a second screen, and tells me "Name and email address required" ... AND MY NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS WERE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND ARE THERE ON THE REQUEST FOR MY NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS!!!

SO ... I click "post" again, and it gets posted ...

(This experience, except for happenin' on the same server/outfit/whutever, appears to be in no way connected to the 'bot ... which will pop up (for moi ownself) on a two or three-word post ... for no discernible reason ... merely sayin' ...)

So ... my question is ... NEbuddy else havin' this happen? Or is it merely me?

... oh ...

Well ... nevermind ...

[Siouxie]

OtheU, that's happened to me a few times. Not sure why. I've had to pour some hot wax on it...that seems to do the trick. ;-P

[OtheU(manity)]

... um ... might I be able to borrow your machete, Siouxie? (Mine is sorta semi-buried in the back of the garage ...)

[DeskDiva]

OH. MY. Meanie....just....I don't.... HOW DID YOU GET MY BIRTHDAY VIDEO?!?

[Siouxie]

OtheU?? anything for you! I've even cleaned the blood stains out of it.

[OtheU(manity)]

Tnx muchly, Siouxie ... must be sanitary, y'all know ...

[Eleanor]

*smooch* back at ya, Siouxie! I hope Mot doesn't put me on some list for this. I still haven't recovered from my category yesterday. ;)
*giggles*

[Tori Lennox]

Another smashing episode, Steve!

[diverdowndoc]

Just back from the b-day celebration. Meanie- that video is hilarous! Can't wait for the doclings to go to bed so I can show Mr. ddd (the video, I mean!).

Thanks for all the good wishes everyone!! It more than makes up for the b-day when I lived in NYC and by 7pm NO ONE had called (including my mother!!), so I whipped out the cat-o-nine tails and my phone book and started making heads roll. It must have worked, because the next year my best friend had 6 members of her family call, as well as some other friends and some magazine sales-type guy. He did wish me happy bday then tried to sell me something.

[Kathybear]

Meanie - that Bob just got way out of hand - and elsewhere. I didn't listen to it, but then again, just the video part made me speechless.........