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June 19, 2007


If you want to read random answers to strange questions find out where I stand on the issues in the presidential campaign, you can go here and click on "Dave Barry for Prez." Or not!


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Random Answers, Strange Questions wbagnfarb ...

Besides that, does this count as a hat trick, since I also posted a question ... ?

Well, then ... does this?

(NO, I'm not gonna try fer a hat trick on the question page ... I don't want THAT 'bot mad @ me TOO!!!)


I may be old and slow, but I can still get the job done!

... um ...

waitaminit ...

Ignore that, please ... nevermind ...

Dave. I was just kidding about the haircut. Really.


I killed it ... ah, a short, but happy life ... kinda like that of a fruit fly ... eh?

THANKYEWTHANKYEWTHANKYEW, S(tevie) ... I din't kill it ... merely ... um ... Fasther than a speeding ... sloth?


The Blog's hair almost appears combed in that photo....

Allright, who photoshopped Dave's lips?

OtheU, I thought you were just doing your Daffy Duck impression.

*anxiously waits for personal response from presidential candidate*

*checks email*

*checks email*

*checks email*


I bet he has the option to ignore stupid questions like mine.

Layzee, clearly you are the guy from Nebraska....

CJ - Layzee can't hear you right now - he's napping.

Dam! "Some questions may not be answered due to inappropriate content." They should said that first off!

HAHA! Great questions, great answers! That Dave Barry person is a funny man. He should write a book or something!


Back from Biltmore w/Siouxie...she is awesome! A great time was had by all, except the kids who were bored out of there minds, and the moms who were sore and tired from walking to h3!! and back three times, and the dad who was sick of the moms and the kids complaining.... ok, let me start again....

Siouxie sure is a lot of fun to hang out with!!!!


Major snorkage:

Q: Why is man born only to suffer and die?
Howard, Sacramento 6/15/07
A: I would have to blame women.

This is serious, folks. We must step up to the plate and support our candidate. (Don't forget to change your name to protect the innocent unless, that is, you need a fake tax deduction.)

And Dave, may I suggest the Bot as your head of security? He certainly won't let anyone get near you.


I'm so jealous. I do so hope to meet the Queen of the Blog (no offense, judi) my next trip to FL. And CJ too, since I go to St. Pete often. We need to throw a blog party, on Dave of course. It must be deductible, at least for us.

casey, how fun! (Were all those people with you?)

ubetcha: FAKE tax deduction?

JD, we'll have to consult Siouxie, the tax goddess, on that one.


It's a bitch tonight.

I received a personal response from a Presidential Candidate! YAY! Its a first!

Also, would anyone happen to know where I can find a remote starter for a '74 VW Bus? Becuase if Dave actually wins this thing I believe that I am going to need one.

Great to see so many blog questions in the forum.

ubetcha: yup, Siouxie is a peach, even out of Miami.

Casey, road trip with Sio? I am very jealous!

Cheryl, I think you can get one from Hurley.

*crosses all available appendages*
*hoping for an answer to my question about squirrels and fighter jets*

Jeff, excellent call my friend! Snork, snork, snork!

Okay, now where can I find the Dave Barry for Prez bumper sticker?

*joins NT in appendage-crossing corner*

Nuse T: I asked about the really important stuff: Chloe's baby.

(what is a "Nuse"?)
Jeff, does that mean Chloe's baby will be abducted by squirrels with fighter jets? Because that would be cool.

Meeting up with Siouxie was a nightmare at first (totally my mom's fault) but it went up hill from there. She is in NC with some friends (a wonderful family of 4). We all hung at Biltmore Estate. I'm sorta shy when meeting people for the first time but by the time I had to leave, I was really feeling relaxed and was ready to let loose, but then I had to leave. Those of you that have not had the pleasure of meeting Siouxie, you don't know what you are missing. If the two of us ever got wound up over a bottle of wine, there would be no stopping us!

One funny story...Siouxie has this totally gorgeous Miami/Cuban accent and I have this totally red-neck hick accent. I asked her twice if a particular person was "blind" and she kept saying "no, his hair is gray". She thought I was saying "blonde". I've got to get rid of this accent.....

Sorry to threadjack, back on topic with the surging juggernaut or however the heck you spell it....

Cheryl, crank up the geezer bus!

Here's your starter! Let's get it on!

Wait - is an alternator a starter? Reason No. 1,347 why we need men, but only #3 counts.

ubetcha, is that because there is no #3?

casey!!! Here real quick cuz we're almost ready for dinner...

Thanks for the kind words. (you too Jeff - *smooch*)

YOU are a total babe and awesome! I had the best time hanging out with you and did NOT want you to leave!!! WE must do this again, in Miami. We'd really get in trouble ;-)

My girls thought you were really great and so did my friends. I will drink that bottle of vino you gave me when I get back home and think of you!!

I LOVE your accent!! LOL

ok...dinner time! I will be back.

casey - I'll load up the pics when I get back and send them to ya. We be hawt! LOL

be back laters!

Next time, Miami it is! SMOOCHES!

Eet ees alwayz zee wooman.

Damn drat! I missed Sioux again. but I picked a fine night to pop in on the blog.


Stevie. Watch where you are steppin', it appears there's only me and you around at the moment and I do be a woman of the female gender type....don't make me borrow Siouxie's hot wax....

OH NOES! I'm outnumbered!

Hiya Wyo!

Yo, wyo! Why don't you ask casey if she and sxi got that bottle of wine we had sent to them at the hotel?

ACTUALLY...we did visit the winery and did sample several excellent wines. I brought home two bottles (one of which I couldn't help but break into as soon as I walked in the door) and I bought a bottle for Siouxie, just showin' her some southern hospitality, but I think she is gonna wait 'till she hits Miami again to partake. However, if you wish to send bottles my way, I do take donations...

yes, S(tevie) why don't I?

consider it asked, casey. Hmmmmmm?

YAY - I got a personal response from a presidential candidate (yes, of the United States). Dave's gonna grant amnesty to the squirrels sneaking accross the border from New Jersey...and execute them.

Great diversionary tactics boys, but I aint bitin'

And forgive my spelling. I'm just tired of trying to be all proper and grammatically correct. We're among friends, right?

Annie, I wasn't napping. I was watching the insides of my eyelids for a while.

obveeuslee, spellin' never ment much two me.

Layzeeboy, I saw that Q&A an hour ago. Great question! Excellent answer! If we could just get the Prez (yes, of the United States) to execute all New Jersians, we would really be making some progress, huh?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE forgive me any New Jersians that are bloggers, I mean all New Jersians, xceptin' of course any that are blog pals.

Ubetcha. Man, I need a remote starter because if Dave wins the Presidency, I die. Unless of course we can hardwire this baby to my house in some sort of way...? I really think we are going to need a techinal mind here. And maybe even a perimeter. Oh and wine. We'll need lots and lots of wine.

casey, my grandfather always said, if you can't misspell with your friends...well, he didn't actually say that but he would have.

Hope you and Siouxie had a great time together.




I was thinking more of the Bloginator

wine's ok when you can't afford scotch.

just sayin'.

casey - our corporate HQ are in NJ and I have to go there every week when I'm not travellin'.

CH, I'll bring the chardonay

Layzee, people here just seem to be so dang smart and witty with good grammer and spelling and all and most of the time I feel like a schmuck (is that how it's spelled?) but screw it, I'm not stupid, just not the best speller person in the world and if y'all don't forgive me and overlook me, who in the world is going to? Your (not you're) grampy was a smart man!

Wyo, sippin some scotch as we speak (type?)

Layzee, you talking about Biltmore? Have you ever been? I was raised w/in 30 minutes of there and have NEVER been 'till today. Sorta sad, huh? Amazing place. I would really like to go back and spend hours and hours just looking at the artwork. Lately, I'm all in to the English monarchy and there is so much artwork there relating to this monarchy and that...I just didn't get enough time to look at what I wanted to.

Not two worry, casey. We love havin ya here.

Lagavulin, thank you.

by the way, casey, did you know that a schmuck is what's left over after a circumcision? (the part no longer attached, that is.) eewwwwwwww.

Nothing wrong with some nicely aged Scotch on the rocks. Or a youngly aged Scotch anywhere convenient, as long as it's wearing a kilt.

Scotch is fabulous. Great scotch is worth living for. Just the little measurement thingies come out a little bit weird at the end of the day. Meaning "Oh Hell, just order it and we'll make it fit.

Oh, Wyo, that is just gross. Is that true? I've never heard of that!

Haven't been there myself. Would love to go. I used to have a place on the Outer Banks and always wanted to get over there. I finally got to see The Queen for the first time last night. And after that was Matt Lawry's interview with William and Harry. I'm fascinated by the monarchy too.

To tag onto casey's 9:33 post...
especially if the nicely aged scotch is Sean Connery.

And schmutz is the stuff you get if you're not.

Casey, that's pretty funny! Blonde indeed. I say keep the accent though!

yes, casey, it's true. I know two Jewish words, schmuck and schlep. to schlep something is to move/carry it from one place to another.

casey, as you and I attended NC schools and spelling in yiddish was not taught there, you're OK. Schmuck is correct, but be aware it means 'Johnson.'

I suppose, with Sio gone, I have to do sommersaults and shout 'Wyo!' Welcome home, bud.

Layzee, I recently read a historical fiction about Marie Antionette and her sister and from there started researching the various lines to the throne around the time of Henry VIII. I'm still working on trying to tie in in the Scottish angle and then working my way down thru the timeline. It is all so fascinating. I am really amazed and consumed with it right now. With all the inbreeding and out of wedlock children, it is so hard to follow the families, but it simply fascinates me. I saw a beautiful portrait of Marie Antionette today.

And, I got to see my first real true live Renoirs! Two amazing portraits. I feel like I've visted heaven!


Thanks, CJ, always nice to be home.

Well, I guess I'll wipe schmuck from my vocabulary. Never having had foreskin and all, I guess it doesn't apply to me. Hey, my self-esteem just gained 2 points!

CH, totally agree. YUM!

casey, about 5 miles from my home here in PA the British built a cottage for Marie and Louis to escape to. It's still there and it's called The Assylum. Unfortunately they lost their heads and never made it to the beautiful Poconos.

Speaking of local history, Wyo, I live in the Wyoming Valley from which your state (and you I guess) gets its name.

I haven't done that in a while. Felt kinda good. But of course I'm still at work, so a sharp stick in the eye would feel good.

Funny, Layzee, my mother was raised in PA. I don't know much about the area tho...some day, I would like to to go visit tho!

CJ, you know if/when I visit the Miami area, I'm gonna have to meet you too, right? You up to that?

St. Pete. My grandparents owned a place in Punta Gorda. The homestead passed to the oldest sister in my dad's family years ago, but as far as I know, she still owns it and rents it out. The worst sunburn I ever got in my entire life was visiting St. Pete. I had blisters the size of silver dollars all over my shoulders, back, cheeks and nose. But I found some really cool sandollars and starfish...

Those were some of the finest hand-crafted questions and answers I've ever read. People around here are just crazy. :-)

Annie, it's quitting time. Need me to write a note to the boss? I will, ya know.

So, Steve, feel like you are in good company?

Wyoming means, "The end of the plains." I've heard that the Wyo Valley is beautiful, but have never been there. It's namesake is a pretty place

casey, what part of PA? You're welcome here anytime.

WOW - we got a compliment about our writing from the Amazing Steve. I am truly humbled.


Oh, for sure!

*ninjas in to off Annie's boss*

Wyo, the invitation extends to you too. I know some pretty good bars (around here they're called Beer Gardens) in the Wyoming Valley where we can get some decent scotch for .75 a shot.

I'm there, Lazee, don't know when, but I'm there!

Layzee, unfortunately, my family is WIDELY scattered and my mom's family is extremely disfunctional and I never really knew any of them. I'll try to find out tho. As I get older (damit!) I become more interested in my heritage. I know my mom has always told me that I'm Pennsylvania Dutch, which really means nothing to me...I don't know what that means! I'll try to pick her brain tomorrow and see what she can tell me.

*ninjas in to off Annie's boss*

Lol, cj. Let's grab some paper clips and a coupla staplers while we're at it.

Hey, guys, thanks - it worked. I'm off like a prom dress. Catch ya on da flip side. Toodles.

Guess I'm off, too. Not quite as smoothly as a prom dres, gonna stagger my way to the bedroom, but not all of us can be as smooth as Annie!

'Nite all...

Hope to catch y'all tomorrow. Hope each and every one of you have a wonderful evening!

Off like a prom dress?!?! Was I the only one who went alone to prom? Although it was pretty funny how long it took people to recognize me with so much bazoomage on display, especially because I always wore baggy, concealing clothes....

Mental note: do NOT have daughters.

casey - you're pretty darn smooth your ownself.
Nurse Tammy - I was FORCED to go - my mom got me a prom dress for my birthday. I had never even been on a date. I would have paid good $$$ to not go, or at least go in baggy clothes. I do NOT do dresses.

I generally do the baggy (comfortable!) clothes thing, yes... once at age 16 or 17 I decided to do an experiment... I got new glasses. The same day I wore my new glasses to school, I wore a short skirt and a more fitted shirt... My buddy Sean couldn't quite figure it out until our mutual friend Kathleen complimented me on my new glasses. His comment? "I knew there was something else different." That moment pretty well defined my view of those dirty perverts guys.

I see dresses as strategic weaponry, and generally deploy them as such. *evil grin*

First three blogbroads to submit their prom photos win a prize.

Nurse Tammy - shhhhh! No giving our secrets away!

But you're right about the boys.

Hello all. Where's everyone been? Its been real quiet the past couple nights.

And Tammy, we welcome the assault. :P

casey - very happy to hear you and Siouxie had such a good time! And yes SHE DOES have an accent.. she just won't admit it ;) But she says I have an accent too... and I really don't... honest.

Nurse Tammy - we never notice new glasses...just like we rarely notice new haircuts. Just a guy thing.


I have to admit I'm rather fond of prom dresses. or of the lack of them.

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