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"...he decided to end his ordeal by his own hand."
if he'd remained with his own hand and not been trying to impress others this tragic event would never have occurred. of course, he'd be blind.
Posted by: crossgirl | June 26, 2007 at 09:56 AM
with thick, full, hairy palms.
Posted by: wickedwitch | June 26, 2007 at 09:58 AM
I guess asking him "how's it hangin"? would seem cruel now??
Posted by: Siouxie | June 26, 2007 at 10:01 AM
Notice no men have posted yet. They are still grabbing their crotches in sympathy pain, unable to type.
Posted by: Bethie | June 26, 2007 at 10:02 AM
Injected? Um. Most men make it a habit to keep sharp objects away from that region...
Posted by: Nurse Tammy | June 26, 2007 at 10:05 AM
OK, I'll be the first man to post:
Warning: injection of foreign substances may lead to undesirable schlong-term side effects.
Posted by: Ford79 | June 26, 2007 at 10:06 AM
I was noticing that as well, Bethie.
ya'll can come out now, boys!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | June 26, 2007 at 10:06 AM
LOL Ford! and very brave of you.
Posted by: Siouxie | June 26, 2007 at 10:08 AM
Isn't injecting things into it kinda backwards?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | June 26, 2007 at 10:08 AM
I wonder if his huevos were blue.
Posted by: pete | June 26, 2007 at 10:14 AM
Did the hair tonic specifically say it only worked on hair? I mean, if you can sue because your hot coffee is hot, I'm thinking this guy was entitled to millions.
And *SNORK*@many. I will be revisiting the comments hair throughout the day, I'm sure.
Posted by: KOW | June 26, 2007 at 10:18 AM
"... the hair tonic remedy which advertised it gave thicker and more lustrous locks..."
Locks, not rocks!!
Craw, not craw!!
Posted by: SW | June 26, 2007 at 10:23 AM
There was a man with a small member
He couldn't find it when limber
He injected hair ointment
But to his disappointment
It turned to jello not timber.
Posted by: pete | June 26, 2007 at 10:24 AM
Just when you thought Intelligent Design (read FSM) may have a foot to stand on, a man goes and does this and proves beyond a doubt that Darwin was right and this man deserves one of Darwin's coveted awards.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | June 26, 2007 at 10:25 AM
I never understood why guys put themselves through this kind of thing. I, for one, am very happy with my extremely normal-sized 15-inch penis...(I was almost able to type that with a straight face.)
Posted by: Scott | June 26, 2007 at 10:26 AM
LOL Scott
[-----] = 6 inches???
Posted by: Siouxie | June 26, 2007 at 10:28 AM
*feels pity for Scott's shortcomings*
Posted by: fivver | June 26, 2007 at 10:41 AM
I guess he was well hung after all!
Posted by: BillyJoeJimBob | June 26, 2007 at 10:52 AM
Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait! "Shortcomings?" I never said there were any "shortcomings" involved here. For the record, my wife at least claims to be very satisfied. True or not, that's good enough for me.
Posted by: Scott | June 26, 2007 at 10:55 AM
Just teasing, Scott!
Posted by: fivver | June 26, 2007 at 11:03 AM
*SNORKs @ the term "shortcomings"*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | June 26, 2007 at 11:12 AM
"what's the matter, bill?"
"i just don't feel comfortable, guess i'm having a bad p*nis day."
"injected anything into it lately?"
"no, what do you recommend?"
"well, it's a little-known fact most personal grooming products have a dramatic effect when subcutaneously inserted dongwise. for example use conditioner if you have a dry,lifeless, flyaway p*nis."
"this product says it's for split ends."
"ewwwwwww, gross!"
Posted by: insomniac | June 26, 2007 at 11:17 AM
clap, clap, clap
bravo, insom.
i hate it when it flys away.
Posted by: mudstuffin | June 26, 2007 at 11:22 AM
I know, fivver. I just thought I would play my role as "Offended Testosterone Guy" to the hilt (so to speak).
Posted by: Scott | June 26, 2007 at 11:23 AM
When I read this I crossed my legs so violently I almost got the same result.
Posted by: padraig | June 26, 2007 at 11:24 AM
hanged himself last week after the hair tonic remedy which advertised it gave thicker and more lustrous locks failed to have the same effect when injected into his penis.
Apparently, the guy didn't read far enough, to where it said it was only supposed to be applied topically.
And snorks go out to the following:
- Sioux (that deserved a "bad, ,i>bad Sioux!" but I laughed anyway)
- Ford
- Meanie
- Pete
- Everyone else.
Posted by: Schadeboy | June 26, 2007 at 11:30 AM
It's a small world after all;
It's a small world after all...
Posted by: Wes S. | June 26, 2007 at 11:38 AM
My eyes nearly bugged out of my head at this story and even as a woman I wish I had not read this. My ramparts are desperately trying to shrivel in sympathy....
insom,
derangedbrilliant as always!Posted by: DeskDiva | June 26, 2007 at 11:52 AM
If he was so concerned about size, he coulda just bought a Porsche or a Hummvee, like everyone else...
Oh, and snork at insom.
Posted by: Lairbo | June 26, 2007 at 11:55 AM
or he could have learned to part his hair with his tongue. that way nobody would be worrying about the size of his thing.
Posted by: wickedwitch | June 26, 2007 at 12:06 PM
Oh great! Now I have 'Home p3nis enlargement' in the browser cache of my work computer....
Posted by: CJrun | June 26, 2007 at 12:24 PM
oh. my.
Posted by: crossgirl | June 26, 2007 at 12:24 PM
BWAHAHAHAHA, CJ!! That'll help you in that political run...!
Posted by: DeskDiva | June 26, 2007 at 12:25 PM
Scott knows I was kidding too, right?? right??
it's really [----------------------------] this much!
Posted by: Siouxie | June 26, 2007 at 12:26 PM
Siouxie -- You're too kind, but really I knew y'all were kidding (NOTE: As an Ohio person, I rarely get to use "y'all." I kind of liked it.)
Posted by: Scott | June 26, 2007 at 01:49 PM
;-)
good! and nice to meet ya! (we have another Scott around here but he's on vacation).
Posted by: Siouxie | June 26, 2007 at 02:08 PM
"He wanted a bigger one very badly, and the results were tragic,"
Ain't that always the way.
For those who haven't seen it, perhaps the nameless Cambodian could have taken a tip from Mr. Cuba Gooding, Jr.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 26, 2007 at 02:08 PM
LOL Jeff! The last scene cracked me up. Always remember;"..do not take cialis if your already injecting hair care products into your penis. Ask your doctor if cialis is right for you"
Posted by: GungaDan | June 26, 2007 at 03:56 PM
And as expected you all don't disappoint. Nice find Jeff Meyerson.
Posted by: KOW | June 26, 2007 at 08:12 PM
See? Evolution straight-up. This is how the world will eventually rid itself of stupid pixi-dicks.
Posted by: bour3 | June 26, 2007 at 09:04 PM