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June 16, 2007


(Thanks to Susannah Nation)


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The teacher was just teaching economics!

Thanks for letting me be first- here is the $3 I promised.

*gives bot extra $5 for the self-simul*

Hmm- everyone else must have paid so they didn't have to show up today.

Gotta go get ready for work- Ta!

A diller, a dollar, hell, you ain't no scholar!
How'd you get home so soon?
I thought you had detention today.
'Dja pay off that crazy loon?

This is just early student instruction to show how life really works.

The teacher said, "Why am I canned?"
It's only supply and demand!"
The school board said, "Look...
If you went by the book,
You'd have used your Invisible Hand."

"Class, settle down now, I'm sending this note home to your parents to let them know that detention-avoidance fees are going up. Spitballs are now going to cost you $3.00 , passing notes $4.00, and cutting in the milk line $5.00. As before, shaking down smaller and weaker students for their money is strictly encouraged. Have your parent or guardian sign the note and return it to me, ...or give me 2 bucks."

"Awwww, Mom....How come at Billy's school they get a free blow job with every $20 detention avoidance fee??? All I got for MY $20 was 2nd base! School is so not fair!"

And for a flat $100 up front, you can get unlimited detention excuse for the entire year! Act now, as this is a limited time offer.

Payp@l accepted.

Punkin, you are just sick. Go see the nurse and gimme a dolla'.

CJ - I can't afford to see the nurse, the gym teacher took my last $15 to excuse me from the rope climb.

When I was a kid we were told that someday we would have to pay for our sins. I guess the Nuns were right.

I'm sure this is totally within the parameters of "No Child Left Behind." If kids can't afford the payment they can apply for a FEMA grant.

WHERE was this concept when I was in school?

Um, I mean. Well, heck.

Hey DDiva, are you blogging from work on Saturday?

Only 3 BUCKS!!!! I make 'em wash my car and mow my lawn.

Teachers always complain they are underpaid. I guess this is one way to supplement their income.

Now class, who would like to skip detention this afternoon?? Class? Class?? Cl.. SHADDUP!!!!!!!!

Thank you

That'll be $3

Hi Scott! Nope - I'm at the public lib for a bit longer. Not much more time, but it's nice to be on for a bit. I'm nearly seizing from withdrawal!!!!

Siouxie Sister! That's one of my all-time favorites!

Siouxie, I hope you have a good trip. I'll be out of town for almost two weeks so I'll be blog-deprived even longer. *lip quiver*

Hang in there, DD. You'll have that new computer pretty soon.

Just a well meaning teacher giving her students a good lesson in how the real world works.

Too bad DD isn't a teacher. I'll bet she could figure out a way to finance her new laptop.

My sister teaches near there. She's at a Montessori school so the parents pay, instead.

Thanks, Scott! I'll be leaving tomorrow night and I'm hoping the dial-up works at least to check in once in a while. You have a great vacation too!!


geez...that Charlton...had to steal my scene!

Don't you hate when that happens, Siouxie?

Siouxie, is that how much you pay the blog to get posted every day? ;)

private message to Dave - whatever Siouxie pays, I'll double it!!

"Quirk Middle School"? What a quirky place.

And snork at insom.

The class was told, “You must atone
For your crimes; but we can postpone
Your detention, you know,
If you give me your dough,”
Said their teacher, Mrs. Corleone.

*One parent who made a complaint said that the teacher took $30 or $40 from her son.*
*"She was always getting $2 or $3 for him not to serve detention," Raynette Little told the Hartford Courant.*

Ok, with a little help from the ol' calculator on here I figured that her son had been in detention anywhere from 12-16 times. Methinks Ms. Little's view of the situation needs to get just a BIT bigger if you ask me?

Completely off the subject, but today (or yesterday), the below blog has this cute video of kitties. It starts with sleepy kittens, then suddenly the video swings into cats in action!

Pippy's blog

Yeah, Charlton, you're running away just as I'm arriving. Fortunately, these wireless aircards work very well, so I'll be able to annoy with impunity!

DocRick, I hate to be suspicious but it occurs to me that it's just possible that the detentions were given out not, as is usually done, in response to childish exuberance, but in response to the teacher needing another cuppa Starbucks.

Hey, Scott! Hope you have a great trip!

Thanks, Charlton and JD. We'll have fun... if it kills us! This will be the first long-distance drive for oldest daughter. I'll let her have California's Central Valley. We'll put on Harry Potter book 6 CDs to prep for next month's two releases, The Order of the Phoenix movie and the final book.

CJ - I just read an article in the July Popular Science about the worst jobs in science. According to the article the number one worst job in science is Hazmat Diver. If I recall correctly, you do something like that, right?

Oooh, Scott, I can't WAIT for the latest Harry Potter! Although I am a bit apprehensive about the last book--hate to see it end, and hope I like the ending!

We had study hall in the cafeteria and we used to throw things at each other (the teachers knew we were assholes and they separated us). We threw pennies one day and the teacher said "If you are going to throw money, throw it up here!"

She said that she got $3.12 that day (a lot of money in 1970 - about 5 gallons of gas, for comparison - or 3 hot dogs with fries)

Scott, I do that for reasons; I'm skinny and single and very, very clean. We have hundreds of employees that are suited-up most days, most of the day and they are pretty clean. When I do that stuff, I have to go in and come out like surgical people, but I'm usually double-suited; people meet me when I come out and remove my gear from around me and I pass through a series of cleaning stations. It can be done safely, but mostly not by young punk kids that don't have a lot of patience. The second suit protects you if you get a tear, giving you protection to work your way back out if something goes wrong. This is a very small part of what I do, very rare, and it should be. I really thought New Orleans was going to turn into one of these, with flooded mechanical rooms in commercial buildings, but (of course) NO is too low to have mechanical rooms below the first story and the water was out of the City after a couple of weeks. GE had people below ground, night and day, rebuilding pumps, but the water was testing reasonably safe; the only real waste was an old (you can tell by the lab results) petroleum, probably a sediment washed up from the bottom of Ponchartrain.

On a lighter note, I dare you to watch this and not be at least a bit impressed!

CJ - thank you SO MUCH for that. She was incredible. I hope judi sees it because she'll love it.

Yup, I'm impressed. I prefer vibrato-free voice but there's no doubt she's good.

CJ, here's the article.

Ducky, yes, we're on tenter-hooks but I need to see it through to the conclusion however it goes.

I liked Betsy's "invisible hand" poem.

I remember the penalty for chewing gum during Algebra. You had to stand in the waste basket with the gum stuck on your nose. I never did it -- I was quite impressed by the example.

*in for a bit*

CJ - that little girls is AMAZING!! Prof sent me that video the other day.

El - WAY back up there...I pay my blogging dues just like everyone else here!! right? right?? I know judi takes my $ per post.

Oh for the love of Mert! I swear we should have the Chinese government rounding up their spammers instead of trying to get the North Korean nuclear problem shut down. I'd rather have to stare down crazy people with faulty technology that will probably blow up on them then the freakin' Chinese power leveling spammer twerp!

Well, at least the teacher in this story was just a shakedown artist and not dating one of the students. Speaking of which, when I was in junior high and high school, I can't remember one teacher I would have wanted to diddle since they were either old men or women, gay men or women, or just flat out fuggly!

And had there BEEN a smokin' hot babe-a-licious teacher wanting to bring me into manhood, I would like to think I could have kept it secret so I could keep the freaky-deakiness going! I just don't get kids these days....

woohoo a hat trick. Nothing like hearing the sound of your own demented thoughts in an empty blog bar. *strolls to end of said bar and puts a dollar in the new video poker machine to kill time till the cool kids come back.*

Of course, Siouxie!

That was just a test - you passed!
YAY! ;)

Sorry, Scott, butt you have to be kidding me? What a bunch of amateurs and posers, complete with cartoon images. The most dangerous, civilian, job in the world is crabbing in the Bering, but that's solvable with smart people. I spent a two half-years of winters up there and smart people do just fine, knowing when to back-off or spend their time busting ice off the boat.

The second worst civilian job is a cab-driver in a big city. I don't speak arabic or swahili, so I sometimes have to go into water with live electricity (worst case, my opinion) and full of bad things. That Popular Science article kinda ticked me off, as I don't dive into that sort of thing unless it needs to be done; those were thrill seekers diving into whale poop. That irritates me as much as amateur climbers getting stuck on Mount Hood, sometimes costing lives in rescue attempts.

I am not nearly as fond of humans as I am of crabs and I wouldn't lift a finger to help an amateur climber or someone one on a pure research dive. I draw the line at 'if I do this other innocent people will be better off,' not some jerk needing a rescue. Sorry, but that's my outlook. In 23 years, no one has ever died on one of my jobs and I have had to clean up deaths on several other people's jobs several times. It's not a sport for me; I see people driving badly and worry; I watched a boat being run by a moron today, up and down the beach around swimmers and they had no idea how dangerous that is. I don't have a dangerous job; people don't know how to dangerous things safely.... Here's a point of comparison: over 600,000 separate people have rotated through the military through Afghanistan and Iraq in the last 5 years; from that group, over 5-years there have been 3,500 deaths, 700 per year. A terrible tragedy, but a statistical blip. These are very well trained and protected people. Go look at any actuary of 600,000 people and the deaths over 5 years. That's what people miss. In my line of work we kill too many people, but it's mostly dumb, obvious stuff. I'll bet (actually know for a fact) extension cords foolishly-run are 5 times more dangerous than me diving into a problem area. I see it constantly, the dumb@ss running a cord through water or a supposed professional going into a transformer that is still hot. Sorry, can't think of a funny way to end this, as this is just something I deal with, people getting killed by making dumb-@ss decisions. When somebody bites it, part of my job is to go in and figure out why (of course, to prepare our legal team). It's always a dumb-@ss move, something we all know not to do. This might prove interesting to you folks... I am essentially the other side of 'Sicko.' The lawsuits against you (mostly), America, by the first responders to the World Trade Center (we say WTO) collapses, my friends represent you and the US Army Corps of Engineers and the USEPA. We know, personally, every fireman, policeman, EMT, truck driver, you name it. We have their chest X-rays. We have their entire medical histories. Not one single professional person, after the immediate collapse, didn't know we had asbestos through the roof, airborne. When I hear sob stories, they irritate me as there is only a small group of people that is allowed to enter an area like that; the law is that if your job requires you to wear a respirator, even occasionally, you have to have a special annual physical, with a chest x-ray, and what is called a 'Physician's Written Opinion,' entitling you to have a job that requires you to wear a respirator and when to put it on. I'm here deadbeats in the Michael Moore newest scam movie. I know you smoked 4-packs of cigarettes a day and have your medical records. It sucks that you have asbestosis, but you're not going to sue America over the WTO. You, the guy that fell off the ladder and is suing the people in America, You're the biggest p@ssy on the planet and you haven't met me in court, yet. Take a snapshot of your life, now, then go into court against the guy that goes under your City into bad stuff. Remember, I am the person with the file boxes that include your entire life history... care to play? That's what you @ssholes are facing. I am not well renumerated for these services, this is something I feel very strongly about. I will eat you and your attorneys alive, for sport. You do not have a leg to stand on, and I've looked at every case I'm aware of. You are a classic set of bullies, trying to beat up on the system. Guess what? I get paid to beat up on bullies, so bring it on Michael Moore, you've met your match, you p@ssy.

Sorry, just can't think of a way to make that funny, except that it should be funny on it's face....

Hey, CJ, you don't have to apologize to me. PopSci is a pretty fluffy mag, more about entertainment than information or education. I just remembered that you wrote something about diving in nasty locales when I read the article. There are a lot of things wrong in the world and I'm glad you're the careful type when you go and try to set things right.

I don't mean to butt into a serious conversation here but, uh, has anybody opened the blogbar yet?
Long day.
Good day...but a long day.

No? Oh well, I should take my tired butt to bed anyway.

Blurk, I didn't so much open it up as help myself to the inventory on my own. I think it's a fend for yourself kinda' night.

I believe there's cold stash in the dog house fridge.

Jeez...Annie shows up and already tries to send us to the doghouse.
But, hey, as long as there's beer there....

You betcha Blurk! Plus, the dog doesn't cut ya a bad look unless you mess with their food dish!

I think Tiny left a bunch of IceHouse in there. Used to be a popular place. Or at least crowded.

Okay, I'm going to ask a silly question? What exactly did someone do this time to necessitate the trip to the dog house? And when did we get a dog to necessitate said dog house? And why do I like the word *necessitate* so much? heh!

Ages ago, we bloggals would boot the boys to the doghouse when they misbehaved. It happened so often the boys finally got wise and stocked the place. Legend has it there may even be a flat panel in there now.

Blurk - Do NOT tell them where we hide the porn.

I remember when Tiny was a regular resident of the doghouse. Usually 'cause El sent him there.

How old are you people anyway?

Tiny got so used to El sending him there that he started going there on his own. He was one well-trained guy.

Well, thats 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Shoe spammer guy always gets in, but I try and post something about preferring to hang out with smokin' hot hoops playin' red head's instead of the blog dog and I get the *spam content detected* filter. Sheesh!

the bot likes shoes...hmmmm...that may explain a lot.

The bot probably got some cool power-ups from the power leveling guy, too...

Back on topic: Like Rick, I think it's a shame that all the smokin' hot teachers who were perfectly willing to educate young boys in the mysteries of sex weren't around back when I was in school. At least in my school.

On the other hand: When I went to school, I also didn't have to worry about the bully trying to take my lunch money also being my teacher. So I guess it's a wash.

Hmmm. I suppose it might be helpful for you guys to understand I fight everyday, My life sucks, big-timr. I fight every day to make things better and get basted with a conservative brush, as some person that can be ignored. I suppose I am, but I'm the smartest person I ever met, till I met Annie. I will do my best for everybody that I can do, but will freely admit I am not as smart as Annie. I will do the best I can, when a town calls and tells me a place is wrong, and I have to tell them about there town. I have to go to Lauderdale, tomorrow, because I can't explain my vision to Lauderdale. I am considered the smartest person in my business, but I can't convey that as she can. So I'm a dummy that has to drive and make this happen, the vision in my head, to get somethng done. The good news is that young employees are converging from all over country, with their bosse's permission, in Miami next week. We are going to do an amazing thing, the best in the country, working on a wildlife conservation area. Paid for by you. I would like to think I'm the best in the world at this, but the truth is I am probably second or third, in the world. I suppose this makes me try harder.

I can quit anytime, and plan to, but all I do is worst-case engineering I want to stop caring about capital letters, but I'm Chris Johnson and I will crush you. Yes, that's whom I am I look forward to us visiting, you girl-killers. There is not enough sand to protect you, I will find you and not report that day. There are not enough hours in your day to keep me from you. I'll be there soon....

I remember having a granny-age teacher who wore white, knee-high gogo boots. It wasn't pretty. Many of the boys in my class had nightmares. NOT my fault this time.

I laugh everytime some babe teacher gets caught doing one of her students. The media and all the experts talk about how traumatized the poor lad is now. Hogwash! I can still remember high school. There are several terms that could be used to describe me if a good looking woman abused me that way. "Traumatized" would not be among them.

Lordie, CJ. You have got to do something to boost your self-esteem. Only the 3rd or 4th best in the world? Don't be so hard on yourself.

*restocks the gumball supply for CJ*

I had a college poli-sci prof who constantly had a teeny bit of spittle hanging from his bottom lip. Once every few minutes it would launch into his audience, usually during a plosive consonant.
Is that considered traumatic?

Oh, 2nd or 3rd. Maybe not as bad as I thought.

I vote for definite trauma on the spittle! The question is whether or not he was a *drooling* lunatic communist avowing liberal or not?

Probably grounds for a lawsuit, Annie.

Since no one else has said it: Perhaps if we paid teachers decently, they wouldn't have to bribe the students.

((((((CJ))))) I, for one, and I'm sure ALL of the other bloglits would agree, are dammmmmmmed glad we have INCREDIBLY, PHENOMENALLY BRILLIANT, not to mention willing, scientists like yourself. And I am fedxing a big bowl of gumballs for next week.

Now, who is bartending and is the tub hot? And NOT the wax!!!!!! Someone check the doghouse and make sure some dude named Tiny isn't stiff in there. ;)

Annie - I had that guy for 7th grade Algebra, and since I am and have always been a smart a$$, he put me on the front row.

Let's check with El on that lawsuit potential.

There was always an adoring groupie sitting in the front row kissing up to the prof. That kid was a human salad guard.
Dr. R - it's hard to remember what was said when you're waiting for the spit to hit the fan.

CJ - You are brilliant and I know that for a fact because I only understood about 46% of your post. Annie does get points for "plosive consonant," a phrase and concept I have somehow managed to get along without being aware of my entire life.

*bows before the comic genius of Annie*

Med, bar tending duties are on "grab it yourself" basis tonight unless you want to volunteer. Mert was supposed to check the pH levels and do basic maintenance on the hot tub, but with it being the weekend I don't know if I would just jump in. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him around today so he might have just gone on another bender.

"I had that guy for 7th grade Algebra,...Let's check with El on that lawsuit potential."

I thnk she'll tell you that the statute of limitations has run. Unless, of course, you completed the seventh grade within the last year or two.

I enjoyed a hot tub soak earlier today, but alas, I was alone. "Grab it youself?" Sometimes you ggot no choice.

Alas, Stevie.... you called me right on out.

Hi CJ,

I'm trying to figure out your last post - I think there's some context to it that I missed. The first serious post you sent, I think I understood.

Glad to see that I'm not the only person who thinks Michael Moore is irritating.

Almost 11 pm my time, so I'm outta here for now.

I don't remember any of the teachers being cute, oh, except for this 1 guy who was also the P.E. teacher. Oh, he was good-looking. And really, really boring. He also taught history, in a monotone.

And there was this cute guy who was a teacher's assistant or something... Of course, back then, I just sat in class and tried not to drool over him. Dating the teacher didn't seem like an option.

Well, the crickets have started chirping again so I must bid adieu for the night. Take care all and see you later.

My high school Algebra teacher was actually pretty hot. She had a French name and accent to match, which didn't hurt either. Unfortunately, she couldn't control the rowdies, so the class was a bit chaotic.

Vive la differential!

By the way, to all the Dads on here...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!! ;)

*runs out to get a father's day card*

Damn, that means I have to drive to Orlando and hand deliver it... Thank heavens he's visiting Florida and not in MA!

Happy Father's Day!!!!!!

Going to take my Dad out for breakfast and then to the top of the Prudential Center so Dad can gaze upon Boston, then off to the JFK Library for quiet reflection.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!!!

Perfect! Just in time for Fathers' Day - my old Niike's have worn out, along with my Addidas, my Poomas, and my New Balences.

..."My sister teaches near there. She's at a Montessori school so the parents pay, instead."

Sounds like those Montessori parents pay twice unless there is some sort of school voucher program.

I believe I heard somewhere that the Mafia was moving into legitimate fronts....I was thinking something like pizza parlors...not teachers unions

Not too many lads I know that would be overly "traumatized" by a young teacher.

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