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June 21, 2007

BUT WALTER IS JUST LIKE A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY

(Thanks to Afkat)

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Maybe Walter could breed?

If there's a market for this. ;)

FIRST in spite of the bot!!!!

*high fives self*

YAY, El! And without a Zipper™ yet!

And to think he could have just $h!t on them and called them art, thus bypassing a stiff (haha!) fine!

I think the bot just told me it was bisexual and wanted to do nasty things to me.

^5 El!

Walrus oosiks are vastly superior.

Well they're certainly bigger.

Walter is an afro-dizzy-act? Is that like black-face comedy?

That's funny...the first time I read the headline I thought it said

Alaskan Man pleads guilty to selling STALE Seal Penises

Also - who wouldn't consider Walter a work of art?

Shouldn't that properly be "Walrus Penes?"

I was thinking the same thing, CH, but I didn't want it to look like I had nothing better to do than think about Seal Peni..Penises..oh, never mind

He's an Aleut? Jeez, all he had to do was hack at 'em with his pocket knife for a few minutes, and viola! Native Art.

Seal Peni? Wasn't he married to Madonna?

What did the gay walrus say when he heard Walter coming?

"That's oosik to my rear."

And who's this Viola?

Um ... um ... a viola is a critical component of good art! Yeah, that's the ticket.

... penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are believed to have properties similar to erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra.

Your secret is safe with us, Dave.

"...seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks..."

You know why they're called seal sticks, don't you? Cos some people were too embarrassed to write it out properly, seals' dicks.

If it is illegal, how did Dave come to possess Walter? Did I miss something?

penises got bones?

LOL Stevie!

Raw penises ... um ... nevermind ...

Really ... NEVER MIND!

O the U....Good to see you!
As is often the case, we're on the same wavelength.
The opposite of raw is...definitely NEVER MIND!

'member' of the family *snork*

Sure, Walter is just like a member of the family - a member of the family that you could sell under the table for a hundred bucks. I'm sure every family has someone like that.

The bot told me that guys are jerks. I told it that wasn't nice.

"That's oosik to my rear."


*snork* S(tevie)W

Death, for your information, Dave would never sell Walter for 100 bucks. I mean he could easily get 150 no questions asked.

belated *stevieanniesnorks*!

CITES, the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species bases the rules on the date of 'origin.' Old bones/teeth are legal to have. Newer ones must have a documented history. I suspect Walter is Classical Oosik....

("our lips are sealed")

did you see them?, they wrote about us
want to get a rise, use marine mammal thighs
can you sell them? sell them to men
for that perfect boner feel,can't go wrong with using seal!
it doesn't matter what they pay, it won't cure you
anyway
oosiks from seals!

Please understand, I've had a very trying week so far...


This is the way
I always dreamed I would be
The way that it is, oh oh
When you are holding me
I never had a love of my own
Maybe that's why when we're all alone

I have seal oosiks
I have seal oosiks
I ground up those penes, baby; put them in my beer
I have seal oosiks
Sweet seal oosiks
Whenever you touch me baby
Whenever you're near

Lovin' you
I'll keep you satisfied
And I can't explain, oh no
Those seal bones I liquified
You look at me we kiss and then
I close my eyes and drink it down again

I have seal oosiks
I have seal oosiks
I ground up those penes, baby; put them in my beer
I have seal oosiks
Sweet seal oosiks
Whenever you touch me baby
Whenever you're near...

How is it used as Via*ra? People don't actually eat oosiks, do they?

Nice job, ducky! I love that song. I sing it in my car about once a week.

And now, with apologies to Brian Hyland...

Though you had to say goodbye
To your boner
Darling, I'll get you a fix
I'll send you everyday
All the way from Alaska
Seals with oosiks

BUT WALTER IS JUST LIKE A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY...

He ain't heavy, he's my boner.

"I think the bot just told me it was bisexual and wanted to do nasty things to me."

Hey bethie (5:38pm), fuggeddaboudit. I get that all the time too.

The reason that Walter is legal is because some Eskimo gave him a hand job before selling him to Dave.

*snorks* @ insom and Stevie! And thanks, Stevie; it's one of my faves, too.

*gasp*

Brad said job.

*faints*

Hey all!

*snork* @insom - excellent earwig!!

extra *snorks* for Ducky and my good friend Stevie!!!

LOL'ing all the way from N.C.!

Hey bethie (5:38pm), fuggeddaboudit. I get that all the time too.

Hey Stevie, are you trying to tell us something? NTTAWWT. ;)

*waves hi to Siouxie*

How was the rafting?

Hey El!!!

It was AWESOME!! we got to jump off this rock into the river and swim around and slide down one of the smaller waves. "French Broad River" - how appropriate huh???

Very cool!

*waves bye*

*zips out*

Siouxie's on a Raft! WBAGNFA movie with Sam Jackson. HEHE!

By the way Sioux, glad to hear you are having a great time. Nothing like a good vacation to get your motor running again. Now if I could convince the dorks I work for to cut me loose for more than 3 days at a time, that would be spectacular!

LOL Rick!

Well Siouxie's been on a raft, on a horse and tomorrow we'll be hiking the Smokys. There's a trail I did way back when my girls were little that ends right at this really incredible waterfall. It's in the Tennessee side and a pretty easy one.

I'll need another week just to recover ...my body aches all over LOL.

OK, "Seals with oosiks" was just extra credit. I have managed to get my brother's Mac up, which is not as dirty as it sounds, and I am one pretend smart IT person.

*happy dances around notebook carcasses*

Sio, I need to come down Monday and stay through Tuseday night, so sharpen your boots; you too, ec....

*waves @ Siouxie* Glad you're having fun!

*Waves @ Ducky*!
We are ALL having a blast!!! Best kinda vaca - one with nature. (minus the bugs)eeky poo!

CJ, call me when you get there. I may have to drag my butt, but I will ;-)

Yeah, we need some butt kicking around here! Between you and the Diva being AWOL, this place is a lot more quiet than it probably should be.

Siouxie on a white-water rafting trip in the Carolinas? Ohnoes! Why is the "Dueling Banjos" theme from Deliverance suddenly going through my mind?

Rick, I'll be back in Miami on Sunday night and I'll be ready for full-time blogging! Get the blogbar stocked!

Wes - so far - no banjos and no hicks. (wheww!)

Off to bed now. Have a great night everyone.

*smoooochies*

Night Sioux! Post card us your adventures tomorrow.

'Night, Siouxie! Can't wait to see you back here!

Nighty-night, Siouxie! Sweet dreams!

You can tell its summertime. The late nite version of the blog is on hiatus until further notice it appears. By the way. Mert never came back from his *personal* time off so I'm going to assume he's quit. As soon as things justify hiring a replacement, the application process can begin. Good night to you all!

'Night, Doc Rick! See you tomorrow!

*flaps off to bed*

'Night, Doc Rick! See you tomorrow!

*flaps off to bed*

I get here just in time to tuck in the early birds. *sigh*

Had to have QT with my angel tonight, as she passes through on her way to another big adventure.

I'm ready for the blogbar and the blogtub, no the real HOT tub. Is anyone else here or am I on my own?

Merely passin' by on my way to RL bedtime, Med' ... enjoy ...

I have some real dicks in my family too.

You all know what a walrus and a Ziploc® bag have in common, right? They both like a tight seal.

*notes that Doc Rick put out advertisement for "french maid" as Mert's replacement*
*giggles*

I guess we are the night shift again, NT!

NT are you still up?

I think she giggled herself into oblivion, Mot.

How's things?

I thought about our last email tonight when I was taking care of a patient in US Marshal custody. All I can say is that after I found out why he was in custody I wanted the Marshal to shoot him again. I had to console myself with the knowledge that he would likely be gang-raped in prison.

See? There's always a bright side.

Yeah, still awake. Wish I could take a nap, but that would spoil my sleep tomorrow. I'm passing the time doing fun stuff like laundry, dishes, cooking dinner, and pricing equipment/supplies/services for fixing up the (fixer-upper, for sure) house we're going to offer for. This could be a very long weekend, waiting for news on that house. I've never bought a house before, so I only have a small notion of what to expect.

*digs in personal library for "Homes and Other Black Holes"*

((((((DDD))))))

G'nite Mot, DDD, and all. Please take care of the blog duties. Mert has chocoputeritis.

Mot - did you see my first post today? I am officially famous. and looking forward to your holiday visit... it's on my calendar. :)

Thanks, Med- Gunite!

diver, could you skimp on the anesthetic, just as a favor to me?

If not, make it subtle revenge: make all pain medicines PR. He may as well get used to it...

Nothing subtle for that guy. It should hurt. Bad.

In other news, I called you about that lecture (I've been afraid to wake you since we are on such bizarre schedules.) Basically, I
m interested in hearing things you wish you knew when you fist started. If you can think of any, email me. I've got until August 7th.

*slips apostrophe in place of (return) carriage*

And did y'all hear about this jacka$$? I haven't had a chance to catch up on the blog.

CYE, ddd.

I wonder what drug that idiot was abusing to think it was a good idea to have sonny boy scrub in?

There can be nothing closer to heavenly bliss than being the only guy (I think) on the blog with NT, DDD & Med. *Faints frome sheer ecstasy*

Getting their son to perform that op is wrong on so many different levels.

Aw, Mot, you say the sweetest things! Diver, who gets to revive him? Heads or tails? *flips coin*

Don't stay out too long, Mot- that guy might try to get his kid to do a vasectomy on you!

How about at the same time?

how about the same time?

Congrats on the self hat trick, diver!
All, right, let's wake him up!!! Woohoo!

I think that was too much for me- I'm exhausted now.

I'm gonna go to bed and get ready for my personal torturer trainer in the morning.

TTFN, or as my male docling has begun to say since we started the pool- "Gunite!"

And good luck with the house NT!

Had to take a short break there gals. Our IT specialist (resident geek), had to perform some magic on my computer to enable me to access my office mails from home.

IT geeks are awesome like that. I wish I had better computer skills, but I'm doing fairly well, all things considered. I didn't use computers much until after high school. Just think of all the eye-rolling-at-the-parents good times I missed.

They trot out all these acronyms that sound like gobbledygook to us mere mortals. I'm in no way a technophobe and, in fact, I've been referred to as "gadget boy" on occasion, but there are just some things I feel I don't need to bother knowing.

Do you ever get the feeling that they make some of those acronyms up on the spot?

The one I have to laugh at is the new one VOIP, it stands Voice Over Internet Protocol (skype etc.) and they now just say voip.

Ah. I actually knew that one. :)

My bro-in-law is a computer geek. I'm always tempted to walk up to his computer and make his brain explode by asking if it has a hemi.

Tell him that he needs to connect the widget to the gudgeon plate so that the CPU can transmodulate.

*snork* at Stevie's Bryan Hyland. I loved that song back in the days of sweaty panting and grinding. Now I'll only think of Walter when I hear it *sigh*.

Poor Assistant U.S. Attorney Andrea Steward
She works hard in college.
Works hard in law school.
Studies and takes the Bar Exam.
Get's a job with the U.S. District Attorney's Office aspiring to do good things.

And then she has to hold a press conference and say "seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are believed to have properties similar to erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra"

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