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June 26, 2007

ATTENTION, INVESTORS

Just a few days left.

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Wow. What a non loser-ey way to make a living!

Oh, and FIRST today, yeah! Good start to the morning!

Trash²

*looks at trash can speculatively*

I'll write a guarantee that it came from a star's house, how much money for the whole trash bag?

I'm holding out for the Paris Hilton cake.

So.. trash's trash is worth $157 these days? Man am I in the wrong business.

Cake is worth even more. Hint hint beg and please to Dave.

I meant plead, but please will do.

white trash trash


*sigh*

*stocks up on canned goods as Apocalypse is surely near*

WOWSA! it's now up to $300

Some people just don't know what to do with their money. I COULD help them out.

$3000 trash is still trash.

I, for one, am saddened that Paris has been reduced to eating dog food. Jail food can't be THAT bad, right???

So if you are a celebrity simply because you are a celebrity you can sell your trash?

I made a bad career choice somewhere back there.

Siouxie, it's GOURMET dog food... it even sounds better than jail food.

I have got to figure out a way to tap into the idiot market. If somebody will pay over $300 for an empty dog food can I have to have a gold mine around here.

Having a Great Dane, I have TONS of slightly used gourmet dog food lying around my back yard. Bidding begins NOW.

ahh...gourmet puppy chow! yummmmmm, Prof! lol

In case you haven't heard by now, Paris is a FREE woman!

Oh good... she's free. So, who's watching Larry King tonight... anyone? Hello?

*listens as even the crickets stop chirping*

bb, the news made my day. really.

ok I lie.

So she ate dog food out of her own free will? I didn't think even she was that stupid.

*pin drop*

Prof, I um...need to fold my laundry tonight. yeah.

Yeah Siouxie, there were a few episodes of Barney that I missed... I need to watch those. Darn, I can't believe I'm going to miss Paris.

does it come with an authentic "seal of disposal"?

she could endorse her own line of garbage with the tagline, "That's rot!"

dumpster diver #1: ready for the big time, kid?

d.diver #2: i don't see what the big deal is , i used to steal stuff from k.fed's packing crate all the time. finally i just took the crate!

#1: this is it! if we can get her first post-jail meal garbage we'll live like the queen's garbagemen!
it might be half a grape, or a popiscle that's been licked a couple of times or...

#2: what's this? it looks like...underwear!

#1: had all your shots?

#2: no...

#1: well, the good news is your next-of-kin will be very wealthy...

*SNORK* @ insom. Up to your usual standards, sir!

The winning buyer will send in his check just as soon as he can cash in one of his Nigerian War Bonds.

I have a great publicity stunt for the Lumbering Dave Barry for President (Yes of the United States) Campaign Juggernaut (LDBFP(YOTUS)CJ)! If we all chip in about fitty cents, we can buy Paris Hilton's trash and donate it to charity! In Dave's name! If that doesn't represent true presidential timbre, then I just don't something something bring daddy the bourbon.

Who's with me!?!

*digital tumbleweeds roll by*

So what, precisely, is Dave's Official Presidential Candidate Position on Paris Hilton?

If Dave can guarantee, once elected, that we never hear her name again, he's got my vote.

*snork* @ FedDuck. Excellent segues. Very nice.

*hands over the bourbon*

Hiya Wes!!! New computer's in and running!!! I'm back online!

*snork* at FD... I'm online with Vista Ultimate and boy howdy, was it an ordeal getting the computer up to snuff before the Ultimate. I feel like I should get some kind of award for dealing with HP's "tech support". I now have three sets of recovery disks- none of which worked reinstalling Windows. Thank whoever is in charge of this kind of stuff that I won the Vista Ultimate playing games. :-)

I'm waiting for the discarded vacuum bag or feminine napkin -- what finds!

DIVA!!! I missed you!

How are you, dear? Sorry I missed your return last night; wouldn't you know it I decided to go to bed early for a change?

This time...please keep the chocolate milk away from the laptop, OK?

why do I care what Paris eats?

*back for a bit*

Chaz!!!!!! I saw you were back a few days ago!!(and acknowledged your return) where the heck have you been???

Er, Insom? Unless Paris moves in with ArcticAl, a discarded popsicle is really just a celebrity stick. Which, of course, is Nicole Ritchie....

wonders if judi knows she's sitting near a goldmine.
pssst, judi, offer to empty the wastebaskets!!!

as an aside, the pic of just released paris is very pretty. she looks natural and, dare i say it, happy? they should lock her up more often.

I'm good, Wes. And I promise *crosses heart* no more chocolate milk near the laptop. Sheesh. Did you get my message the other night, by the way? I left it on your cell, I think....

They talked about this on CNN today. They said there are people who make a living lurking around celebrities' trash cans, taking stuff, and selling it. (judi, ya better keep an eye on the Herald's dumpster in case someone is looking for a certain Pull It Surprise winner's booger packed Kleenex™). They specifically mentioned the dog food can and also sid there is a Paris toothbrush on ebray. I have neither the time nor the inclination to look.

Actually, they didn't mention sid at all.

*going to The Herald dumpster now*

Message, Diva? No, unfortunately not. I don't have a voice mail account for my cell set up yet; since I have it pretty much for emergencies only, I don't even turn it on unless I need to make a call.

Yes, I know, I'm a total Luddite. Heck, I'm still using a 56K dialup connection for this ancient HP I've got...

...On the bright side: my e-mail still works.

cg, I did notice the one quick glimpse of her I had today...she did look much more natural, less plastic than usual. Surprised me.

By the way check this company MDFI. Their stock is set to increase because of their association with Apple iphone and Complete Care Medical. Find more about this company and stock http://www.growurmoney.com/medefile/

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