AH, ROMANCE

"Do these profanities you wrote on my back while I was sleeping make my butt look big?"

(Thanks to W von Papineau, which this blog hopes is not obscene)

Comments

[Just Ducky]

I never have a piece of paper handy when I need one, either.

[Annie Where-but-here]

The pen is mightier than the scorned.

[Dr.Rickenstien]

I have to think Sandusky just got off the hook around here.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Guess she shouldn't have married Mr. Write.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Or maybe when she got done with him, Mr. Uniball.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Maybe he wrote 'Your bait stinks....at least I think that's your bait.'

[CJrun]

*snork, snork, snork*!

At least she resisted pulling out a cottonmouthwatermoccasin....

[Annie Where-but-here]

Am I all alone in the '24' Twilight Zone?

[Annie Where-but-here]

CJ - get it right - a poisonous cotton-watercandy-mouthy-moccasin.

[Dr.Rickenstien]

Somewhere Marv Albert is desperately trying to track down this woman's phone number.

[CJrun]

You forgot cotton trouser snake!

[Rod *Bauer* Serling]

*cues Twilight Zone/24 music remix*

[CJrun]

Ok, the Blog is busy having a life, so....

Ready!

[Dr.Rickenstien]

Had this occurred at Hilton Head, I'm sure the world would be more interested....

[Annie Where-but-here]

Ooh, Rod - your pen is soooo....mighty!

[Bethie]

Gee, I wonder how true love goes so wrong.

[Dr.Rickenstien]

*sits speechless at Annie's last post.......*

[Sean Connery]

I'll take "The Penis Mightier" for $300, Trebek!!

[Dr.Rickenstien]

The only thing that would make this story better would be if it was Fred Thompson and his wife!

[Bethie]

You touch your mother with that hand?!

[Dr.Rickenstien]

*throws down clipboard, goes into the corner to sulk since the ladies are kickin' his ass tonight!*

[CTProf]

*Walks in a little nervous*

What'd y'all do to make Rick speechless?

[Siouxie]

Hola Prof!!

Rick?? why fer are you sulking???

[Siouxie]

Rick?? will it help if I open the blog bar??

[CTProf]

Hey Siouxie :)

[Ford79]

A Bluffton man, playing a trick,
Inscribed some bad words on his chick.
Hey buddy, take care
When your feelings you share.
The next time she may bite...your Bic.

[Just Ducky]

Apologies to the Beatles:

Dear Mr. lawman, will you read my back?
It took him hours to write, in permanent black
Base words he’d written after many beers
And I bit that slob; cuz he wrote on me, that on-my-back writer
On-my-back writer

It’s the dirty words from a dirty man
On his sleeping wife; don’t you understand?
That jerk is the one who should be in jail
So I made him sob; but he wrote on me, that on-my-back writer
On-my-back writer

It’s a thousand words, give or take a few
He’d have written more, if more words he knew
Those terms became stronger, they were truly vile
So I took him down, cuz he wrote on me, that on-my-back writer
On-my-back writer

If you really must, you can read me my rights
But we’ve had a million domestic fights
And when I return home, there will be more bites
And I’ll break his head, cuz he wrote on me, that on-my-back writer
On-my-back writer
On-my-back writer

[SW]

Once written, twice shy.

[SW]

Great song, ducky.
Great puns, annie.

[SW]

He wrote on her
And then he wrote her off.

[Dr.Rickenstien]

Open said bar Sioux! Time to rock and roll! Hey, isn't there supposed to be a 24 thingy on here or something tonight? Oh Crap! Maybe the FOX overlords captured Steve and have air mailed him to Wazhereonceistan?

[Siouxie]

WOW!! awesome Ducky!! and Ford!!

[CTProf]

LOL very nice Ducky

[Siouxie]

*jumps over the bar...trips and falls on her culo*

*oww*

What's ya'lls'alls's's pleasure>>>

[Edgar Greenberg]

Hilton Head Island — Was that a bad omen there?

[Siouxie]

that would be ????

[Dr.Rickenstien]

See Siouxie, I can't remember song lyrics because I am really....Mick Jagger. I am ashamed but I can't live with it anymore! All those years of mumbling and pouting out my luscious lips...it takes a toll.

[Just Ducky]

Thanks, S(tevie)! And Siouxie!

*Snork* @ Ford, and S(tevie)!

And belated *snork* @ Mr. Write!

[CTProf]

Well at least you fell on the...

*thinks for a second about what he almost just said*

*helps Siouxie up and gets her a kamikaze*

[Edgar Greenberg]

Oh and Annie those were some amazingly horrible puns. They surely deserved recognition.

[SW]

As long as we're (not) talking about 24, I would like to advise you that if you switch from the "24" diet, as I did after 4 epidsodes, to the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" diet, note that shows made for commercial TV run 44 minutes for an hour-long episode, but 2 half-hour HBO-type episodes run a full hour.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Perhaps even the Nobel Prize in Literature. I mean "Mr. Write" alone should put the prize in the bag.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

S(tevie) W... Yeah, I first noticed that when I was watching BTVS (Buffy The Vampire Slayer). Those ran about 42 minutes each.

[Just Ducky]

S(tevie), is Curb Your Enthusiasm re-running, or are there new episodes? I've never watched it, but I'd like to check out some shows I haven't seen before during the summer.

[Dr.Rickenstien]

Are you sure those episodes go the full 1/2 hour? I seem to remember watching "Dream On" and realizing they ran 25 minutes due to all the promos and lead ins to the next show.

[Just Ducky]

Isn't the bot like the policeman that is never around when the truly dangerous drivers are on the road,nearly killing you, but are quick to swoop on regular people going 5 miles over the speed limit?

Next time, I'm bringing my shotgun.

[SW]

I think I'm gonna get bit
I think it's todaaaaaay, yeah
'Cos I wrote on my wife's tit
But didn't get awaaaaay, hey
She's got a thicket to write on
She's got a thicket to wri-ite on
She's got a thicket to write
But I don't dare

[Siouxie]

eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk SPAM ALERT!

[John]

Where's the 24 story for this week?

[Ford79]

JDucky: that was superb.

[An Evil Man]

Ducky be careful. He has "40 Lvl Mount".

[Siouxie]

My baby don't dare!!

LOL Stevie!

Prof ;-) thanks for the Kamikaze!!

[Just Ducky]

OMG! BRAVO, S(tevie)! And GROAN!

[Dr.Rickenstien]

Ok, I have a new goal in life. I will track down this WOW dork if its the last thing I do. I will hunt him to the face of the earth and I WILL find him and when I do....I'm going to have Sioux, Annie, Diva, and the rest of the Bloggettes ready with a VAT of hot wax! I feel better now!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Thanks, EG. I think.

[Wes S.]

I think the spammer is running about 42 minutes for an officially hour-long episode.

[CJrun]

more *snork,snork,snorks*!

I note that Hilton Head is both a pronoun and an adjective/pronoun noun.... Ew........

[Dr.Rickenstien]

well, I meant "to the ends of the earth!"...that has to count for something doesn't it?

[SW]

JD - I got "Curb" on DVD. So far, HIGHlarious. A more mature Seinfeld, one might say.

Re "Dream On," doc: The promos and lead-ins may be the diff. None on "Curb," just closing credits.

[Siouxie]

Rick I have the hot wax ready!! and the spurs...and the whip...oh and the defibi defribrill the machine that goes ZAPP!!!

[Just Ducky]

Belated thanks, Prof, and thank YOU, Ford!

Evil, I have a Mossberg that's locked and loaded!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Here is what should happen to that spammer...

[Just Ducky]

Thanks for the viewing tip, S(tevie)! I will check it out.

Must flap away for awhile...

[Edgar Greenberg]

Wow, I really must be dead. I can't post at all in the thread above this one.

[Wes S.]

Rick: Were you just trying to say that the spammer is a pimple on the face of the earth and it's time to break out the Clearisil?

[Siouxie]

uh...Mr. Blog?? the 24 thread is not working...just saying...

[Annie Where-but-here]

El thread is still dead.

[Siouxie]

Well keep the alkyholics on this here thread!

Drinks???

[CTProf]

Sure... why not ;) Kamikazes all around!

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

OK..where did all my customers go??

[EB]

I wonder if the wooden board was her old Sorority Paddle??

Now, if only my ex was around for a good spanking....... no, that would be too good for him////

EB

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

Sure thing, Prof!

*mixes up a batch of kamikazes*

[Wes S.]

A kamikaze sounds pretty good to me, Siouxie. I'll take one.

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

*pours Wes a double kamikaze* Prof's buying tonight!

*kick starts the hot tub*

*getting the place ready for the late nighters*

[Eleanor]

El thread is still dead.

Are you talking about me, Annie? I just got here and I feel fine. :)

And I was heinzing and I saw that Stevie said a bad word. *snickers*

[Eleanor]

Hi Siouxie!

Could I please have an Appletini? I'm still fretting about the Sopranos and have been reading blogs and forums all day and I'm exhausted! Whew!

*grabs floor pillow and collapses*

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

El!!

*mixes up an Appletini for her bestest lawyer friend*

[CJrun]

If I drink one of those, do I really haveta crash into a ship? 'Cause that would suck.

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

CJ! you don't have to! just get your snorkeling gear ready for the hot tub.

[CTProf]

*checks wallet*

Hey go easy on those doubles there Siouxie!

[Meditrina]

Are we drinking here or on the island with Gilligan and Jack tonight?

Waitress, I'd like to buy a round of pina coladas in Steve's honor for the bar!

[CTProf]

Was that you adjusting the coconuts over there Med? LOL

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

Prof, don't worry...we'll put the rest of tonight's drinks on the Blog's tab...he's outta town. ;-)

Med, a round of coladas, coming up!!

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

So where are the rest of the alkys blogsters??

[CTProf]

Well in that case... doubles for everyone!!!

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

We may have to resort to our belly shots to get the regulars in here.

[CTProf]

*Gets in line*

Wait... who's belly?

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

*looks around*

guess it'll have to be me...

[CTProf]

Welcome one and all to the Siouxie and Prof show (please note SHE gets top billing). Audience participation is encouraged.

PLEASE?

[Eleanor]

CR@P!

My whole comment was deleted because I talked about an online ch@t about Sopranos.

Thanks for the Appletini, Siouxie, but now that I've gulped it down, I'd like to switch to JD on the rocks, OK?

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

Prof...I'm always on top!

whut??

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

You got it, El!

JD on the rocks ...slides it over!

[Meditrina]

Yep, that was med, er....ary ann. Another drink, if you please.

Prof, please don't ooggle the coconuts. *pretend blushes*

[CTProf]

No Med... I would NEVER do that. *innocent grin*

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

We need some male waiters to do the belly shots for the wimmin too!! It's only fair!

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

*pours Med another double kamikaze*

[Meditrina]

I nominate blurk and prof.

[CTProf]

*having a hard time hearing over the music*

What??

[Siouxie the Blog Waitress]

I do too, Med!!

[Meditrina]

Come on, Prof... Belly up, baby!