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May 16, 2007
IF YOU GO TO SAN FRANCISCO
(Thanks to RussellMc)
Posted by Dave on May 16, 2007 at 11:53 AM | Permalink
Comments
Damn! It's half over and nobody told me.
Posted by: Howard from Broward | 11:55 AM on May 16, 2007
... teaches people about positive sex.
Hum ...
*thinks*
... na ... can't come up with any examples of the opposite ...
Posted by: kibby F5™ | 12:00 PM on May 16, 2007
So when exactly is this???
Posted by: Siouxie | 12:03 PM on May 16, 2007
ejaculation distance spewing contest.
Don't shake hands, and don't even get close.
Posted by: Olo Baggins of Bywater | 12:04 PM on May 16, 2007
I can almost hear The Village People singing...San Francisco!!
Posted by: Siouxie | 12:07 PM on May 16, 2007
A friend who was recently at a conference in San Fran found out about this and asked if I'd sponsor him. :-D Naturally, I said I would.
Posted by: DeskDiva | 12:10 PM on May 16, 2007
She thought group activities would be more fun that spanking the monkey at him in private.
I guess the author was typing one-handed. I think that should read "than spanking the monkey at home in private."
But I could be wrong.
Posted by: diverdowndoc | 12:11 PM on May 16, 2007
They should had out bags of Cheetos to everyone in town.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | 12:12 PM on May 16, 2007
*SNORK!* Steve!!!! That is an AWESOME idea!!!
Posted by: DeskDiva | 12:16 PM on May 16, 2007
Team captain: "All together, now. Stroke... Stroke..."
Elderly tourist: "Look, honey. I think they're having boat races over there!"
Posted by: Hammond Rye | 12:16 PM on May 16, 2007
LOL Steve!
And they're OFF!!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | 12:20 PM on May 16, 2007
Oh, man! They have rules about that sort of thing at work. I guess I'll have to wait until I get home.
Posted by: ScottMGS | 12:25 PM on May 16, 2007
Okay, class, let's have a show of han...er, hairy palms.
Posted by: smartypants | 12:29 PM on May 16, 2007
All I have to say is that I just came back from a week in San Francisco.
;-)
Posted by: ArcticAl | 12:33 PM on May 16, 2007
Proceeds will go to the American Stroke Association, Charities for the Blind, and various cliteracy programs.
Posted by: Ford79 | 12:36 PM on May 16, 2007
Sounds like a perfect celebration...for people who can't get a friggin' date!!!!
Posted by: blurk | 12:40 PM on May 16, 2007
I clicked the link that said "Enlarge", but nothing happened... .
Posted by: jon | 12:47 PM on May 16, 2007
AA, no wonder you look so relaxed!
and a strokesnork @ Ford!
Posted by: Siouxie | 12:50 PM on May 16, 2007
****SNORKSNORK!!!!**** @ HandsyHammie and Ford
Posted by: DeskDiva | 12:53 PM on May 16, 2007
so, uh, blurk, see you there?
Posted by: crossgirl | 12:53 PM on May 16, 2007
why is the handwriting on the sign-up sheet so shaky?
gives a new meaning to the olympic motto : "Faster, Higher, Stronger"
t.v ratings were very high in the first half-hour or so, then the audience lost interest...
Posted by: insomniac | 12:54 PM on May 16, 2007
and your point is, blurk???
*can SO get a friggin date!!* geez!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | 12:55 PM on May 16, 2007
call it what you will
you still look pretty foolish
f--king the wind
Posted by: mudstuffin | 12:59 PM on May 16, 2007
Can I just be a cheerleader? "Go, team!Beat ...um... never mind."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | 12:59 PM on May 16, 2007
uh...crossgirl?? whatcha doing this sat??
Posted by: Siouxie | 01:02 PM on May 16, 2007
masturbate-a-thon
where they say of the winners
'don't that just beat all?'
Posted by: insomniac | 01:11 PM on May 16, 2007
"A woman in London holds the world record for the most orgasms at 49 big O's."
She was faking it.
Posted by: random thunking | 01:11 PM on May 16, 2007
Wooo hooo!! my birthday is on masturbation month!! Everyone, blog party next week! come one come all and BYOT (bring your own towel) ;-)
Posted by: Siouxie | 01:13 PM on May 16, 2007
spank the monkey
shake the snake
frisk the frank
drain the lizard
shake hands with the president
schwing and a miss
makin' shaky puddin'
burn the mayonaise
squeeze the squid
mash the spud
Posted by: mudstuffin | 01:19 PM on May 16, 2007
49 O's? I think most teenage boys could beat that in an afternoon.
Of course, I never . . . .
Posted by: Pinky | 01:26 PM on May 16, 2007
polishing the porpoise
wax the dolphin
bleed the weasel
choke the chicken
jerkin' the gherkin (please see previous thread if this applies to you)
floggin' the log
clickin' my mouse
and my personal favorite - manual override
Posted by: Meditrina | 01:47 PM on May 16, 2007
whacking the gopher?
Posted by: Siouxie | 02:08 PM on May 16, 2007
If you're coming in San Francisco
Be sure to bring some lotion if you care
If you're coming in San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there
For those who come in San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
In the streets of San Francisco
Gentle people with personal gifts to share
All across the nation such a strange vibration
People in motion
There's a whole generation with a new explanation
People with lotion people in motion
For those who come in San Francisco
Be sure to wear some lotion if you care
If you come in San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
If you come in San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
Posted by: Hammond Rye | 02:14 PM on May 16, 2007
*snork* Hammie!!
I had that song in my head but the words wouldn't cum out!! ;-P
Posted by: Siouxie | 02:20 PM on May 16, 2007
Another standing O for Hammy!
Let's all give him a big hand! See? that wasn't so...ooo..OH God! Oh God!
Posted by: diverdowndoc | 02:21 PM on May 16, 2007
*SNORKIN'Os* for DDD
Posted by: DeskDiva | 02:26 PM on May 16, 2007
Hammie, that was a stroke of genious!
Posted by: Siouxie | 02:30 PM on May 16, 2007
Squeezin' the squirrel
Pullin' the pud
Bo Diddling
...
and I'm spent.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | 02:31 PM on May 16, 2007
Thank you, thank y...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | 02:33 PM on May 16, 2007
See the tree, how big it's grown,
But friend, it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big...
Posted by: Mr. Completely | 02:33 PM on May 16, 2007
hmm
"manning the torpedoe"
Posted by: Siouxie | 02:34 PM on May 16, 2007
"Flogging the pony"
Posted by: Mr. Completely | 02:40 PM on May 16, 2007
"mastubeation"
Posted by: Siouxie | 02:47 PM on May 16, 2007
twirling the licorice
flying the joy stick
And just do atheists say as they can't say "Oh my GOD!" when they have the big O.
Also for the distance competition, from where do they start to measure the distance? Is it like the long jump and they measure from the take off board, or is it from point of lift off?
Posted by: ArcticAl | 03:05 PM on May 16, 2007
AA, that would only work if the uh..hmm point of lift off is at the same angle, no? What about the er..curvature?
Posted by: Siouxie | 03:16 PM on May 16, 2007
Yes Siouxie it's an interesting problem in math. We better conduct some experiments to determine the best method of measurement. Care to assist?
Posted by: ArcticAl | 03:21 PM on May 16, 2007
"polishing the porpoise
wax the dolphin
bleed the weasel
choke the chicken
jerkin' the gherkin (please see previous thread if this applies to you)
floggin' the log
clickin' my mouse
and my personal favorite - manual override"
med? med!?
(takes cover as his house-of-cards mental image of meditrina comes crashing down around him)
how could such a refined lady as yourself know these things? surely you have brothers!
oh, and
yank the yam
pound the pommegranate
shuck the corn
empty the eclair
crank the kielbasa
playing pocket pool
pine-tar the bat
waxing the cue
rosin the bow
pulling taffy
getting in touch with my inner wanker
strangle the stork
milk the snake
Posted by: mudstuffin | 03:31 PM on May 16, 2007
Sure AA!! Hang on...let me put on my labcoat and get my gloves.
*SNAP!!*
READY!!
Posted by: Siouxie | 03:39 PM on May 16, 2007
Watch out! They're on the march to San Francisco!
Posted by: Mr. Completely | 03:42 PM on May 16, 2007
YIKES!
We're gonna need a bigger lab.
Posted by: Siouxie | 03:47 PM on May 16, 2007
manipulate the manatee
fondle the frenchman
shine the schnauzer
boff the buffalo
toast the marshmallow
trim the tree
mow the grass
exascerbate the situation
Posted by: mudstuffin | 03:58 PM on May 16, 2007
Mud... I think we can now add
"visiting 'Frisco" to the lexicon....
Posted by: russellmc | 04:02 PM on May 16, 2007
maybe "Crisco the Frisco."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | 04:21 PM on May 16, 2007
I've always been more than happy to masturbate for Charity. Of course, I haven't been able to do so since she stopped working nights at the Lusty Belgian Strip Club and Waffle House out on Rte 133. Oh, Charity...you were the best one-legged stripper/waffle-slinger in ten counties. You are missed, angel.
Now I'm forced to entertain myself for Charity's much less attractive friends Faith, Hope, Patience, Joy and Glory. (Joy is the best of them, at least she still has all her teeth. I hear she's moving to Portland, though, to teach 10th grade chemistry.)
Think Crink!
Posted by: Wender J. Crinklebank | 04:48 PM on May 16, 2007
random, that's exactly what I was thinking - you know she did - sheesh. ;)
Posted by: Eleanor | 09:04 PM on May 16, 2007
My favorite euphemism is British in origin:
"bashing the bishop"
Posted by: Dr Alice | 10:18 PM on May 16, 2007
What organization is the keeper of the world records? Do people call in to see if they've broken one? (a record that is)
just wondering
Posted by: pete | 10:59 PM on May 16, 2007
TOAST the MARSHMALLOW?
Good God, mud!!!!
I am falling on my @SS laughing over all y'all here....
Posted by: DeskDiva | 11:32 PM on May 16, 2007
It's that time of year again and we're celebrating all month long at Wankerparty, culminating in the world-wide Wank for PEACE! Love it.
Posted by: Chas Diamond | 03:00 AM on May 5, 2008
