24

Only two hours to go, people. Even less, if you subtract the commercials, which will be worth watching tonight (more on this later). During the actual show, we loyal viewers are hoping that the writers at last answer the key questions regarding the plot, namely:

1. What is the plot?

2. There are writers?

3. How much do they make?

4. What will be the the "cliffhanger" ending  that sets us up for next season?

5. Will it involve either China or Audrey?

6. If so, where can we get some cyanide?.

These are the questions that are swarming in our brain as we prepare for tonight's finale. As you recall, last week ended with former child Ricky Schroeder grabbing Jack's evil dead brother's annoying mopey son Josh and putting him on to a helicopter to take him to Jack's evil mastermind father Farmer Hoggett. Ricky is supposed to trade Josh for the Top Secret Russian Circuit Board of Doom, which Farmer Hoggett was originally going to trade for Josh with the evil Chinese mastermind "Three Hummers" Cheng, who managed to escape from CTU last week for like the 11th time despite the fact that CTU set up a perimeter.

The reason our government is trading Josh, aside from the fact that he is annoying, is that we really want to obtain the circuit board, because if it falls into the hands of the Chinese, the Russians will -- pay close attention here -- attack the United States. No, we don't understand why, either, although the writers have written many riveting White House scenes attempting to explain it. You would think the Russians would be in more of an apologetic mood, since a Russian nuclear bomb went off in the Los Angeles area earlier in this very season, but nobody seems to remember that. Everybody is like, "The nuclear blast in Valencia? That is so 9 a.m.-10 a.m." 

Anyway, last week Ricky and Josh took off in the helicopter, so of course this week Jack has to go after them to rescue Josh. No doubt wherever they wind up will be swarming with Chinese paramilitary troops, who apparently make up 60 percent of the population of California. We know from the previews that there will be boats, helicopters, jets, shooting and explosions. So get ready, and when it's all over, stay tuned for The Amazing Steve.

Bonus Reason to Watch Tonight: Mrs. Blog, a professional sportswriterette who covers, among other sports, professional tennis, informs this blog that tonight's episode will feature the premier of a Canon camera commercial, shot at Cher's old house in Miami, featuring tennis star Maria Sharapova, who is smoking hot, although of course nowhere near as hot as Mrs. Blog. The commercial also features a small white male dog who thinks in a foreign accent. Plotwise, it could well be the highlight of the season.

UPDATE: How come there's a boys' choir singing in the helicopter?

UPDATE: We'll get you back, Josh! Nothing EVER goes wrong with our plans!

UPDATE: Ho-hum. Jack in custody again.

UPDATE: This here is some solid oak dialog.

UPDATE: Bill can't BELIEVE what has happened to the plot since he left.

UPDATE: So Karen, who works for the White House, and who fired Bill, is now asking Bill to foil a White-House-ordered operation. OK!

UPDATE: Farmer Hoggett has an uplink. They're going to have to keep a REALLY WIDE perimeter.

UPDATE: Do you think that if they showed all the scenes from this season in reverse order, it would make more sense?

UPDATE: It would end with Jack really suddenly growing a beard. That would be the least-realistic part.

UPDATE: You have to hand it to Marilyn Bauer: Even when she's really upset, she retains her inability to act.

UPDATE: Actually, given the competence of CTU security, Marilyn could easily take over using just her fingernails.

UPDATE: This is shocking. Jack managed to get out of custody again.

UPDATE: Wouldn't it be great if Jack and Bill decided the hell with it and went bowling?

UPDATE: Milo's brother! Welcome to the plot!

UPDATE: Milo's brother's job, apparently, is to pad the plot.

UPDATE: "Any sign of Phillip Bauer yet?" Good of Nadia to take a few minutes out of her busy schedule at CTU to check in on the CTU operation that's supposed to avert world war!

UPDATE: "Agent Doyle, be careful!" Thanks, Nadia!

UPDATE: Oh man. Not another White House scene.

UPDATE: This is sure to go well.

UPDATE: Hard to believe such a foolproof, well-thought-out plan could have gone wrong.

UPDATE: "It blew!" Yes, it did.

UPDATE: Just to recap: CTU, the nation's crack counterterrorism unit, which has a huge staff and vast computer capacity as well as helicopters and satellites, and which knew exactly where the bad guys were going to strike, was once again easily defeated, this time by two guys in wetsuits and a motorboat.

UPDATE: I still can't believe Melinda got voted off American Idol.

UPDATE: Another White House scene. Padpadpadpad.

UPDATE: The old Bloomfield Oil Platform! That's IT.

UPDATE: Three Hummers! He's still in the plot!

UPDATE: If anything bad goes down on the oil platform, the actors can just grab chunks of dialog and use them as flotation devices.

UPDATE: Do we think Chloe is pregnant?

UPDATE: One more hour, people.

UPDATE: "The submarine is on schedule." "How soon before they pick us up?" "Thirty minutes." Thanks, writers!

UPDATE: So they can't find the motorboat with three people in it, even knowing where it left from... but they CAN find human body heat on the oil platform.

UPDATE: Phillip Bauer and confederates! They can tell by the body heat who the people are!

UPDATE: And that they're confederates!

UPDATE: "Get the kid, Jack!" That's exactly what people say after bombs go off in their faces.

UPDATE: Hey! A helicopter! Do you think...

UPDATE: I think Maria should have gone with the bikini.

UPDATE: "We'll be in range in 22 minutes." Thanks, writers!

UPDATE: I suppose it would make way too much sense to have the fighter jets take out the submarine.

UPDATE: A five-mile perimeter. That's a big perimeter.

UPDATE: Those have to be the slowest fighter jets ever.

UPDATE: Catch them off guard? In a helicopter?

UPDATE: Ummm... Why did Cheng give the component to Phillip? Does that make any sense? Never mind! Who cares!

UPDATE: Shooting. Good.

UPDATE: Whoa! Josh!

UPDATE: Boom! Yay!

UPDATE: OK, the truth is that the Russians have no proof whatsoever that the component was destroyed. But who cares? Not us!

UPDATE: OK, there are 25 minutes to go. Cliffhanger time.

UPDATE: Aww. Chloe downloaded Morris's schematics.

UPDATE: Please let this be the last White House scene.

UPDATE: UH-oh... William Devane means... AUDREY.

UPDATE: I'm getting the feeling that this season is going to end with a whimper.

UPDATE: "I'm at a crossroads." Did he actually say that?

UPDATE: At least Audrey didn't get any lines.

UPDATE: Sigh.

Comments

[Wes S.]

Oh no. Don't tell me Jack is going to kill himself...?

[Suzy Q]

Adn, Jack walks off into the sunset...er, sunrise. Because he's...Jack.

[Dustin]

I SKIPPED HEROES FOR THAT? A VERY SPECIAL 24?

[Brad]

audrys best acting all year

[Ryan]

That was it? I'd say I was disappointed, but I think I knew better.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Silent countdown? Oh, maybe they wanted to reassure us that Awwwdrey didn't wake up and come running to Jack. PHEW!

[glow]

Emo!Jack is too painful to watch.

There's always the trailer girlfriend from last season, Jack! And her son likes you now.

[TandCinKC]

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

Did the writers just tired, or have a forest to eradicate?

[WizzyPigabeth]

THAT WAS THE WORST ENDING EVER.

I feel so violated.

[Momanon]

a fade to black ending? Really? The cliffhanger is that he is looking at a cliff?

[Aaronak]

Wow! What a twist - Jack Bauer looks at the water! I am shocked!

[MJ]

SILENT CLOCK!

[WoosterGirl]

Sorry, DeskDiva, I blame the extra-strong hooch...

You, me, Gretchen, Suzy, Cat, to the blog bar. NOW.

[DeskDiva]

*SNORK* @ TandC.

*sobs into her margarita that GRETCHEN gave her while she was being mercilessly ignored by WoosterGirl*

WHY OH (not Wyo) WHY DID IT HAVE TO END THIS WAY?!!?

[Zach Bauer]

So.... what was Stewie about?

[Kali.Amanda]

WTF?

[Jeannie]

That's it??????

[Kathybear]

Well, it is always hard to say goodbye when she's in a coma...

[Travis]

Just what the hell was that?

[insomniac]

with the russians, chinese, and the u.s mad at him, will he be jacques bauer next year?

[Wes S.]

Talk about a literal cliffhanger: Jack looking like someone just ran over his kitten, standing on the edge of a cliff above some scary-looking rocks with a gun in his hand.

[CJrun]

Hmmmm. Jack at a Crossroads, Bill and Karen out and retired, Chloe pregnant, most everybody else dead,...yep! Next season is re-vamp time. Enjoyed it Bloglits!

[Suzy Q]

This sucked.

I am thinking of shooting my OWN thigh just to get some action.

[Valerie]

Silent clock - did she die?!

[judi]

dustin: i taped it, just 'cause i can't stand to wait through the commercials. starting it as soon as i rewind. you wanna come over?

[WoosterGirl]

That's it???????

That's IT?????

Sh******t!

[Brad]

audrys best acting all year

[slyeyes]

Was he thinking about jumping?

[MIke Harmon]

No cliffhanger. I don't care; Jack for President.

[judi]

dustin: i taped it, just 'cause i can't stand to wait through the commercials. starting it as soon as i rewind. you wanna come over?

[Dr. Rickenstien]

I feel...wait, I have to wait 8 more months as a fan after this....I just...DAMNITTT!!!

[DeskDiva]

*heading to the blogbar*

ROFLMAO @ A Very Special 24

**SNORKSNORKSNORKSNORKSNORK**

[Cat R.]

Pour me one, Wooster. This "refreshing page" is so exhausting.

Looks like I got the best end of the deal, just reading all your comments and skipping the show!

[KJP]

Never has a ending matched the season it concluded so aptly.

[Dr J]

We sat through 23 hours and change to end with this torpid sh*t?!?!?!

[Aaronak]

The government should just give Jack Bauer the city of Los Angeles at this point. He's saved it so many times, it ought to belong to him.

[danceswithvowels]

I've heard they've signed up for 2 more years. One's for sure now.

[mm]

Next Season: the best yet

it'd have to work hard to be worse....

[glow]

Wow, was that the longest day. The writers obviously wrote the whole script in 24 hours...while smoking crack.

[Dustin]

Next season needs to have a Jack/Nadia romance.

Except Nadia was so torn up about Doyle that she will be married to him by next season.

As long as we have more Nadia, and only ONE enemy.

[Gretchen]

See you at the Blog Bar! Double margarita for me. Frozen. No salt.

[Suzy Q]

Oh, and now they LIE TO US EVEN MORE WITH FAKE PREVIEWS OF NEXT SEASON?

Oh. I think not.

*reports to the blog bar, dragging a sobbing DeskDiva with her*

[tropichunt.com guy™]

What will the next 24 hours be like? Please, let's help answer that question, because the writers don't know...

[slyeyes]

Silent clock for the death of the plot.

[WizzyPigabeth]

they said next season promises to be the best season yet.

dejavu.

that's what they said about this season.

It doesn't sound good for next year either.

I was faithful to 24, all waiting for tonight to be good. I didn't miss an episode, unlike some people who committed adultery and watched Heroes instead. I was faithful.

And this is the thanks I get.

BOO! HISS!!

[ChuckE]

Until we meet again in January, may your subcircuit board be in safe keeping, and may all your perimeters be airtight

[Wes S.]

Judi, don't fast-forward through the commercials; there's more shooting, action, abduction, explosions and violence in the previews of new movies than there was in the season finale.

[Zach Bauer]

I guess we're in a rebuilding season.

Thees one ended not weeth a bang, but weeth a wheempair...

[WoosterGirl]

Suzy, shoot your own thigh after you've shared a few thirst quenchers with the rest of us. Hurts less.

[MaryContrary]

Jack can jump, but he won't get far past the surface. All the flotsam and jetsam created by the Wooden Dialogue Generator will block the way.

[homeybeef]

if the silent clock is for the dead plot, it is very very late

[TandCinKC]

I must say, if they're still planning to write the 24 movie during this off season - I'm far from encouraged!

[WoosterGirl]

Frozen margarita for Gretchen - no salt - coming right up.

Or should I say....Marrrrrrrrrrgarita.

[danceswithvowels]

So, Zach, you think the franchise is turning into the Cubs?

[ced]

I feel like I've just played 24 games of Three-card monte! I've just wasted 24 episodes of my life!!

[glow]

The. Bestest. Cliffhanger. Evah.

[TandCinKC]

of course, I'm assuming there are actually writers who write these steaming piles of excrement passing for scripts...

[Suzy Q]

Zach, if they're anything like Homes for Humanity, the Wooden Dialogue Generator has left them enough wood to build an entire city.

[Jeannie]

If they are smart, they will hire the Amazing Steve to write next season's episodes.

[danceswithvowels]

Sorry Wooster & Gretchen, no carnal asadas, este noche.

[jt]

You know, considering that Jack never got to brush his teeth since chomping into the neck of whatizname, it's probably lucky for Audrey that she was in a coma when he kissed her...

Peace out!

[Wes S.]

I feel so...unfulfilled.

*walks to the blogbar, muttering darkly to himself, bypasses the Coke and a glass and just grabs the whole bottle of Jim Beam*

[Suzy Q]

The. Worst. Finale. Ever.

*tosses back a tequila shot, shoots self in thigh, posts it on YouTube*

[Dustin]

Tonight, On a Very special 24!

Josh is reunited with his mother. Jack says goodbye to his true love, after watching his own father die. The third or fourth one he's had after his wife was killed - by a former lover. Bill and Karen are pardoned. Tom's going to miss Karen. Cheng is taken into custody, but remains loyal to his people. VP Daniels gets out of a bases loaded jam unscathed after making bad decision after bad decision. Chloe and Morris are pregnant. Nadia is relieved to know that Doyle will be ok. Everyone is happy. Except for that other President, who we never heard from after he was stabbed by his wife.

[WoosterGirl]

Don't I know it, dances. I cry into my margarita.

Mierd@.

[slyeyes]

*snork at glow*

Bestest. Comment. Tonight.

[DeskDiva]

Wes- CYE!!

[danceswithvowels]

A waste of 2 hours tonight, as predicted.

[glow]

I think next season should have Jack in a shower ala Bobby Ewing. He comes out and Edgar is there staring at him, with a snow globe in his hand.

[MaryContrary]

Why does there have to be an Awdrey? The finale was getting on quite well without her.

[WizzyPigabeth]

How could they not update us on Wayne?
How could they not update us on Martha and Aaron?
How could they not update us on the Handbag?

Instead, we get bludgeoned with that dribble over Awdrey.

The WRITERS ARE IDIOTS! DO YOU HEAR ME!! IF YOU ARE READING THIS BLOG, and I HOPE YOU ARE, YOU ARE IDIOTS AND I FOR ONE AM VERY UPSET!

Actually, I'm upset that I forgot to pick up a bottle of wine to try and soothe the pain from tonight's episode...I'm stuck with stale coca cola.

[glow]

I think next season should have Jack in a shower ala Bobby Ewing. He comes out and Edgar is there staring at him, with a snow globe in his hand.

[Dr. Rickenstien]

Double of everything in the bar stock please. And a clip of ammo so I can shoot myself in the thigh as well! DAMN THIS SHOW!

[MaryContrary]

Wiggy, next season I will try to remind you about the wine beforehand. It soothes the pain.

Why didn't Stewart reappear, and take off his shirt?

There are just no answers.

[Suzy Q]

Oh, and Dave? You were VERY WRONG about Stewart just being plot padding. He was obviously (well-placed) there to give us girlies some hope to hang onto. Personally, I was hoping for a long, sweaty, shirtless interrogation.

But again, I was thwarted. Stupid writers.

[WoosterGirl]

Wizzy, here.

*Hands Wizzy some rum for her stale cola*

[slyeyes]

Hey, we never found out for sure that Josh is Jack's kid, did we.

I guess the fact that we didn't and the fact that we didn't actually see Farmer Hogget buy the farm (har) means there will be more tender Bauer family moments next season; on a special episode of Blossom 24.

[DeskDiva]

*grabs a bottle of tequila and pours out the worm. chews it to get the baaaaaad taste of tonight's episode out of her mouth. shoots Suzy in the thigh.*

What? Why should both of us be in pain?

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Previously on “24” – We found out: You should never ask Jack for a choker necklace; It is much more dramatic to walk through sewer water than walk on cement right next to it; If you ever corner a Chinese diplomat on a cat walk, he’ll disappear into thin air if you turn your back on him; Jack’s dad was really trying to make a good impression on the Chinese for his visa application, but that fell through; Whenever anyone new arrives at CTU to “take over”, they act like jerks; If there’s one way to fool Jack Bauer, it’s to distract him with a phone call.

The following summary takes place between 4 am and 5 am:

4:00 am – A helicopter playing weird angel voices flies over the ocean, really freaking Josh out. Mike tells Josh that they’re going to hand him over to Grampa Bauer, but it’s OK because they have a tracking device and nothing bad happened to the last guy that happened to.

4:02 am – A CTU tactical guy places Jack “in custody”, which is likely to be a very temporary situation, since Jack always figures a way out. Jack calls Chloe who informs him that CTU has ordered him placed “in custody” while they figure out this whole Grandpa Bauer thing. Jack asks to speak to Karen.

4:04 am – At the White House, it has been a full day, and no one except Lisa has changed clothes, so it’s beginning to smell like day 39 on Survivor around there. Noah is on the phone with President Suvarov, because the big television screen special effect has been sent to another show. Noah tells him that he’s authorized an exchange for the component. During President Suvarov’s little speech, Karen gets the call from Jack. Jack points out that Grandpa Bauer has been lying this whole time, yet everyone at the White House believes he’ll go through with the plan, because they’re SURE that little thing with the nuclear weapons a few hours and plots ago was just a mistake. Jack tells her to stop it, and the music track for the show slows down, much like the plot.

4:07 am – Karen tells Lennox about Jack’s call, and points out that Jack has been right a lot more than anyone else. Lennox does the old CYA, and tells Karen that she can do what she wants, and if that’s letting Jack loose to finally stop this season from continuing, he’s fine with that.

4:08 am – The FBI is getting ready for a garage sale over at Bill’s apartment when he gets a phone call from Karen. She tells him about Grampa Bauer, and that CTU has Jack in custody, because someone wants this season to never end. Karen tells Bill to do whatever he can to stop the exchange of Josh for the circuit board.

4:11 am – The helicopter with Josh and Mike lands, and Mike tells Josh that whatever happens, don’t let anyone cut off his arm because they’ll never find him. Mike goes out to stalk a Port-o-Potty, and the coast is clear. He goes back to get Josh, but instead of taking him to the Port-o-Potty, he goes to a picnic table and calls CTU.

4:12 am – Surprise! Grandpa Bauer figured out a way to get into the impenetrable CTU computer network! Who would have thought? He wants the satellite uplink to point to something more interesting, so CTU turns it off. Grandpa is afraid of helicopters, so Mike orders that to go too. Mike tells Josh to act like this is a completely normal kidnapping, looks down at his cell phone, and is relieved that he had the cell on mute. Grandpa tells Josh that he wants to make him into a successful homicidal maniac, unlike his father who was an unsuccessful homicidal maniac.

Commercial

4:19 am – It is the worst BBQ ever at the picnic table. Mike’s still a rookie at this, so he asks Nadia for permission to shoot someone after they get the circuit board back. We all know Jack would never do something so fundamentally stupid as “asking for permission”. Nadia, of course, says “no”.

4:20 am – Phone call from Karen to Nadia. Karen wants to fill a little time during the show that could be used for some shooting, and just asks Nadia about how everything is going with the operation. Even Nadia thinks Karen should wait until some exciting plot development happens, but understands about Karen filling time. Karen wants to watch what’s happening with Jack, so she gets the security code from Nadia. The access code is ACN. No wonder CTU has such poor security – they use three letter codes!

4:21 am – Chloe tells Nadia that Marilyn has a security problem in a unsecured room in a very insecure portion of CTU, so Nadia leaves.

4:22 am – Marilyn argues with a security guard, who isn’t being paid enough to talk back, and wants to know where Josh is. Marilyn is freaking out, because Josh got to ride a helicopter and she didn’t. Nadia calls Morris, who she tells to call security, so they can come and take Marilyn away. That’s despite having a phone to call security herself, or better yet just having security right there in the room with her call, er, security.

4:23 am – Chloe isn’t very happy about the exchange they’re making with Josh, because she thinks that circuit board is a lot more interesting than Josh has been so far. Morris agrees, but says they’re under orders. Chloe and Morris argue a while, rehashing the plot so far. Nadia overhears this, and tells Chloe that if the signal in Josh’s arm goes down even a little, to call her. Nadia also says if it goes down a lot, like if someone cuts off his hand, Chloe should call her even more quickly.

4:24 am – Back at the picnic table, there’s finally a helicopter coming and it looks suspiciously like something they’re used previously in the show, so Mike calls Morris. Morris says it’s probably just a helicopter that’s being returned before the end of the show. He also tells Mike that he thinks that Mike is doing the absolutely right thing, and Mike tells him that if he wanted his opinion, he would have asked Morris to make him pass out in a choke hold like Jack did.

4:25 am – Jack and his CTU handlers are driving down the completely deserted streets of LA, when a driver from South Florida nearly runs them off the road honking their horn, because the CTU truck had the gall to actually be in their own lane. The CTU truck drives off the road, the driver stops, and it is Bill! I had no idea Bill learned to drive in South Florida. The driver of the CTU truck gets out and recognizes Bill, while back in the truck, Jack takes the opportunity to take away the other CTU guy’s gun. Bill walks down the hill with his hands in touchdown position. While Bill makes small talk with the driver, Jack takes the opportunity to hit someone! Finally! Someone gets hit, and it’s only about half an hour into the show. Jack gets out of the truck and knocks the driver out too. Jack and Bill run off to Bill’s pickup truck, and they drive off. Bill is very excited to be out on a CTU mission with Jack.

Commercial

4:31 am – Back at CTU, Chloe goes over and hugs Milo’s brother Stewart, who has just arrived. Stewart looks pretty upset that Milo isn’t leaving the building in the same condition he arrived in.

4:32 am – Karen’s laptop is on the fritz, so she calls Bill to say goodbye just before the RIAA comes to arrest her for those music downloads she did.

4:33 am – Nadia introduces herself to Stewart to let him know that she’s really sorry about Milo. Stewart points out that Milo was in love with her, and Nadia has a look on her face like “NOW they tell me”. Nadia leaves the room to take a phone call.

4:35 am – It’s Chloe. Chloe tells Nadia that their crack field agents are handcuffed to a car, and they’re still looking around for the candid camera. When Nadia returns to the room, Stewart is gone! Or he’s hiding in a locker. We can’t tell which.

4:36 am – Josh pleads with Mike to not let him go with Crazy Grandpa Bauer. Josh just doesn’t like watching the “Murder She Wrote” channel as much as Grandpa does, and he’s scared. Mike promises to find Josh, and that he’ll only have to watch a little “Murder She Wrote”, probably just long enough for the police on that show to realize that Angela Landsbury is always around when people are being killed.

4:37 am – Nadia calls Mike, and tells him that Jack is on the way with Bill. Mike is pretty upset because he really wants to be the New Jack. Josh is excited that Jack Classic is on the way.

Commercial

4:41 am – Noah goes to visit Karen, who is in detention. Noah explains the plot that just happens a few minutes ago. Noah wants to know what the heck she was thinking, and she starts to explain that her agent said it was going to be a good job. Noah tells Karen that’s not what she meant, but that Karen and Bill are in HUGE trouble about this whole Jack thing. Noah then goes on to say that if Jack doesn’t prevent this from happening, “Any blood that spills will be on you!” Karen says, “Yuck! I just got this dress”, and then realizes what Noah really meant.

4:43 am – Mike gets a call from Crazy Grandpa, who tells them to walk to the water. Chloe tracks Josh, since he still has his arm on, but she looks pretty tired. Even Morris notices.

4:44 am - A couple of guys in a boat drive up to shore. Mike and one of the guys point their guns at each other in a very menacing way, and argue about who should move first. Finally the guy from the boat drops a silver case on the ground, and Mike forgets the old “Silver Case That Explodes” trick. While Mike is rolling around on the ground, the boat guy grabs Josh. Just as they start to leave, Jack and Bill arrive. There’s a brief exchange of gunfire, which completely misses Jack because he hides behind a thin post.

4:45 am – On the boat, the boat guy calls Grandpa, who orders Josh to be scanned. Boat Guy says that Josh doesn’t have any UPC codes visible, but scans him anyway. They find the tag, and fortunately for Josh, they use a laser to short out the tracker in his arm. Gredenko probably would have loved to know about that little trick.

4:46 am – Chloe immediately sees that the tracker has been lost because instead of the little blip going away, her whole screen goes blank. Jack calls Nadia, and tells her about the explosion that hit Mike in the face. Mike looks like he won’t be recognizable at the Silver Spoons reunion show.

Commercial

4:53 am – Lennox comes in to let Noah know that nothing was found during the last commercial break. Noah points out that Karen was right and he was wrong. Noah finally realizes that Wayne had been right this whole time, and that sitting in the President’s chair is a lot harder than he thought. Lennox points out that making Karen a scapegoat wouldn’t be a good idea, because everyone will let the press know that Noah is pretty much a nutcase.

4:55 am – The medics have arrived to help Mike. Jack tells Nadia that Mike might be blind in one or both eyes, so he’s going to require a special CTU seeing-eye dog to go out on missions. Nadia tells Jack that she’s sorry that no one believed him, and you can just tell that Jack wants to tell her that no one EVER believes him. Chloe breaks in and tells Jack that’ll be next to be impossible to find that little boat, and Jack realizes it’s probably an oil rig their headed too. Jack’s pretty excited about this because he knows that oil is highly flammable.

4:56 am – At the oil platform, Cheng and Crazy Grandpa wait for Josh to arrive. Grandpa and Cheng argue a bit about whose fault all this is, and Cheng leaves. Grandpa makes a weird face while looking out over the ocean, almost as if he’s picking up signals from Jack. I can’t even explain that one.

4:59 am – Meanwhile, back at CTU, Chloe either needs her contact lens prescription filled or Morris is messing with the focus on her computer monitor. She gets up to talk to Morris, and she passes out!

5:00 am – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME ON 24: COMING UP NEXT!

----------

I'm still working on the second hour. Stay tuned!

[Kathybear]

Pass me the tequila - forget the other stuff... Damn that Jack Bauer. How hopelessly romantic he is. For someone with such an overbite... Sheesh.....

[WoosterGirl]

Yeah. *hic* What Suzy said. Stoopid writers.

*stumbles, falls down*

[Siouxie]

Next season on 24: Chloe upchucks while Morris downloads

[WizzyPigabeth]

Save 24.

Bring back Nina, Tony, David, and The Handbag. Oh yeah, I'd love to see Darth Booth return too, as long as he can be EVIL, not chuckling and "aw, shucksing" his way through the plot.

Erase Awdrey; I love the Bobby Ewing dream idea. Only that would be Tony, since he's dead, and Jack isn't. This season was all TONY'S BAD DREAM, starting when he got knocked out by the evil mastermind from last season, and Edgar's death on up till this was all just a baaaad dream brought on by too many drugs.

Personally, I would prefer Michelle over Nadia too.

Did anyone notice Nadia's gash disappeared?

[FloydParsons]

summer/fall 05: discovered 24 DVD's & watched all seasons to date
winter 06: suffered thru my first real time season of 24
winter 07: eased suffering by sitting at my bar with laptop, back to TV for more time each week
08: if anyone (except this blog) even tries to tell me what is happening on 24, I'm gonna push 'em down

[Suzy Q]

OW!

*shoots Dr. Rickenstein in the thigh*

What? I should be alone in my pain?

[DeskDiva]

*snork* @ slyeyes

OK, I'm not crying anymore. Now I'm just POed.

[Aaronak]

They should have put the special effect of the nuculer bomb going off at 5:59:59, just for the hell of it. That would have made the finale much better.

[WoosterGirl]

OMG. Simulpost with The Amazing Steve.

I must be drunker than I thought.

[insomniac]

I was faithful to 24, all waiting for tonight to be good. I didn't miss an episode, unlike some people who committed adultery and watched Heroes instead. I was faithful.

we won't even mention those 'two and a half men' preverts...

[Dustin]

Someone get 24drinkinggame.com registered now! We'll have ongoing counts.

Every time Jack says "DAMN IT!"
Every time someone gives Jack a "direct order."
Every time Jack goes against an order.
Every time CTU loses communication/satellite.

And more!

[Ford79]

Haiku, concluded.

4:00 AM - 5:00 AM

Life’s a beach for Doyle
As Pa Bauer makes off with
Both the chip and Josh.

5:00 AM - 6:00 AM

Cheng in custody,
Grandpa dead, Audrey alive.
Two of three ain't bad.

(Let's hope for something a little better next year. Good night all.)

[Suzy Q]

You forgot "perimeter" and "schematics," Dustin.

Night, all!

*falls over with arterial blod spurting from both thighs*

[glow]

Thanks for the snork*, Slyeyes. The writers made it so easy, hitting us with anvils. The season started with a literal BOOM and ended with a cliffhanger. I just have to come back next year to find out about Disgraced Prez Handbag's fate, don't you?

Highlight of the season: Aaron Pierce. In black. Sigh.

[m]

i hope the writers are forced to watch this entire season over and over again all summer, if that does not shock them into writing something good the 24verse will collapse ( like it has'ent already)

gonna of light a candle in memorium of a previous cool show...
tears..

[Wes S.]

Hey, Wizzy: Jack's left hand burn scar and Morris' shoulder drill wound also disappeared during the course of the season.

Diva: Should I just delete "24" from my VCR programming and erase the tape, or just take the whole thing, VCR, tape and all, to the range and use it for target practice?

[WoosterGirl]

Suzy, drive me home.

'Night, everyone! See you next season! Gretchen, Suzy, Souxie, Cat, Wizzy, Homey's lady, and last but certainly not at all least, DeskDiva!!!

[Wes S.]

And will somebody please put tourniquets and/or field dressings on Suzy's thighs?

[Siouxie]

OK...there's still hope...The Bachelor hasn't picked "the love of his life"

[Siouxie]

Niters WoosterG!!!

[Wyo Cowboy]

Siouxie, there have got to be a lot of retarded guys where you live.

just sayin'.