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April 20, 2007

SUDDENLY, GUYS ALL OVER CHINA...

...are buying motorbikes.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

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First!

"The chief surgeon at Xinyang 1st Hospital says the phenomenon is "inexplicable"."

I'm not sure of the Chinese term, but the English (Merrikan) term is "lying."

oh she should so take advantage of this!

That's not so inexplicable. I'm sure it happens all the time!

He forgot his wife? What a clever man! This could have saved me the cost of a divorce.

Oh, and Yay! Siouxie!

*waves*

YAY!

When he is changing, he pushes me out of the room, and tells me every time that I shouldn't cook for him, since I'm a guest of his house."

I kinda like this little arrangement ...

*waves back @ Hammie*

Yup, CG - Run, wifey, run!

He tells her she shouldn't cook for him, but I'm sure he eats anyway.

I forget my husband when I'm drinking, but there he is the next day...

He tells her she shouldn't cook for him, but I'm sure he eats anyway.

Posted by: Clean Hands | 03:36 PM on April 20, 2007

---------------------------------

She should only hope ;-)

Well I'll be hanged if that man's not lying like a dog.
If they lived in texas he would know better than to pull a stunt like that, 'cause all the little wifie would have to say is he needed a killin'.
That my fellow bloggers is justice.

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make amnesia last.
Just kicking down the wedding vows.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch my freedom growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.

Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

That's weird, Baligurl, because my girlfriend suddenly acts like she doesn't know who I am when we're out and I've been drinking... Even when she hasn't had anything to drink.... Kind of strange, huh?

*snork* @ bali & Meanie (awesome earwig)

*humming to the song*

*Snork* @ Meanie!

Inexplicable? I'd call it convenient. Wait until the little head kicks in -- it'll all come back to him then.

"Who is this woman?"

This is ROFLMAO funny! That's the best sentence of the millenium, IMO.

WTG, Siouxie! This is priceless.

*smacks Meanie upside the head*

Memories,
Leave concussions on my mind
Wifey whut-you-sayin' memories
Of my way with her.
Scattered sutures,
Of the miles on my behind.
Miles I rode away from Mother
From the way we were.

Can it be that I am just an @sshole then?
Or did I just write the perfect lie?
If I had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, who, me? Who, me?
Memories, may be dangerous and yet
What's too ugly to remember
I simply choose to forget
So it's the fracture
I will remember
Whenever I remember...
...what was I talking about again? Hey, who are you and what are you doing in my room?

*Cross-eyed SNORK!@ Annie*

(from the smack upside my head, you understand*

*SNORK*@ Annie and her Mammaries Memories (agnfa self-help book about amnesia).

Strangely, her birthday, anniversary and mothers day all aligned to the day of his wreck, he forgot all three! rather than being nagged to death he choose the pole as the easy way out.

A Chinaman who wrecked his motorbike
Can remember the people he likes,
His life and his work
To his wife he's a jerk
Cheers, Darlin' - go take a hike.

But why would he want to forget his wife?

can't top david byrne...

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

El, I know! I read that and thought..how could he say that with a straight face??? LOL

sorry to have *snorked* right into you, Meanie!

SNORK @ everyone! Hey, the Extreme Makeover, Home Edition that I worked on airs this Sunday night at 8, 7 central on ABC. YAY! (I'm the one in the blue shirt with a white hardhat.)

I'll look for you baligurl!

Yay, bali!! I'll have to watch and keep an eye out for you! Soooo cool!

*double snork for Meanie and Annie*

Oh, you talented spoofers.

bali - don't they always dress alike?

Shoot, Bethie, if I'da known that, I'da waved!

Even for "the crying show" this week's looks particularly wet, so bring your hankies.

As for the Chinese guy (darn you, Siouxie for beating me to it again!) maybe he shouldn't have been wearing that shirt you see all over Vegas. You know, the one that says, "If You Can Read This, The B!tch Fell Off!"

*Sniff*
This man is my hero.
*Waves flag*

ubetcha...you betcha! So I can say I'm the thin blonde and no one will be the wiser.

MeanieAnnieInsom *Snorks*!

What people will do to avoid telling wifey that her cooking sucks!

What if his wife actually died in the accident and a quick thinking interloper replaced her and all their photographs while he was unconscious in the hospital?

That would make it explicable, yes?

Why are we all italicky?

Cheesewiz - that would make it a FOX movie.

...called "While You Were Stupid"

"While You Wre Stupid"...starring Alec Baldwin.

Why are we all italicky?
'Cuz Jeff fergot to wipe his fingers off before he clicked Post.

"Whyle U Were Spelcheking" starring baligurl. ;)

Jeff, sorry ;-) you don't have to get all italic on me!!

bali, I will look for you and be proud to know someone in the show!!

bali - is ALL you'll be wearing a blue shirt a white hard hat?

In that case I'm TiVoing it ;)

fud - you're such a dog. We love it. ;)

bali also has some slightly used dive bags for sale.

Who is this woman?

It's a beautiful thing. I think the next time CG comes over I'll look off into the distance and say

Who is this man? Since he doesn't read the blog, it could be fun.

Forget the Chinese guy, what happened to the angry lady in the white bikini? She was a fixture as much as Walter or toilets. And she asked the tough questions the "mainstream" media won't. Questions like "Sun or Cabana?" "Pool or ocean?" and "Wheat or white?"

The right column of the blog and my heart now each have an empty spot. :{

Didn't have time for spellcheck, as I was posting between clients. Thank God they've gone home, and left me their money.

*watches Annie's eyes roll across the blogcarpet*

marfie, when you find them for me, rinse them out in this margarita.

They're gonna get lint on'em...

Drat, I accidently dropped them into the jar of pickled onions on the bar. D@mned if these things don't all look alike...

*faint aroma of vinegar wafts through the air...*

*eyeroll*
ouch!

Wow, these taste really evil!

*gives Meanie the evil eye...again*

"Eye Bleach, STAT!"

*hands Annie tissues and superglue to keep her eyes from rolling away again*
Serious *snorks* @ everybody! My humble offering:

Had your motor runnin’
When you hit that lamppost
Woke up with no memory
Amnesia was diagnosed
Yeah Wei thought he could make it happen
Telling fibs; he is such a louse
Now he recalls everything but
Can’t quite place his spouse

Likes his situation
No more thumb he’s under
He’s free as the wind
If he doesn’t make a blunder
Yeah Wei is gonna make it happen
Telling fibs; he is such a louse
Now he recalls everything but
Can’t quite place his spouse

Like a true male--surprise!
He was born, born to tell lies
Though he tries and tries
The truth he can’t disguise

Born to tell lies
Born to tell lies...


*gives CJ the stink eye*

Gives Just Ducky an aye-aye.

Good God, Awbh, what the hell IS that thing?

Annie. Give me eyewash. Please.

It's an aye-aye, silly.
*Tosses eyewash to Deskdiva*

*DOUBLE SNORKS*!

The aye-aye. Thanks, Annie.

No wonder I hate it! It's related to SQUIRRELS!

Hey, now, they're kinda cute. In the picture I posted, notice the band-aid on the woman's finger. That's what you get for waking up an aye-aye.

A boo-boo?

Hahahahahah!

*SNORK* @ JD!!

Bwahahahaha!

"...his wife of nine years..."

It took him nine years to get to "Who is this woman?" Hell, I was thinking that the day after the wedding.

(Nice work, songsters.)

Excellent observation, Steve. I bet that's pretty universal!

There are faces I'll remember
Not my wife's, no not Jing Yang's.
Some forever, but forget her
Dim sum gone, and shrimp chow mein.

Who's that cooking in my kitchen?
You must stop now, you are my guest
I shall treat you with good manners
Not my wife, I won't undress.

Well, this way he can get some "strange" without getting in trouble.

Houseguest...wife...hey, if the woman wants to cook let her cook.

*prepares for onslaught*

Blurk, maybe her cooking really is that bad!

stevie - it took him 9 years and a sharp blow to the head.
the latter being something I strive to deliver verbally every dang day.

here, blurkie, blurkie, blurkie...

WTG Jazzzz, always finding the bright side.

*snork*

Sioux, I eat quite well, thank you.

yo blurk!

whoa...I wrote that before I realized blurkie was here.

Hey, Wyo!!

And who is that woman? Nevermind, I'm hungry.

Of course you're hungry. You've been away from the blog too long. You're starved for rejection.

Ah, come on Annie...you can't let that one go.

I knew she couldn't stand it. heehee

Ha! Who da man?!

annie, I have to admit, even though I don't want to, that "starved for rejection" was pretty blasted funny.

well done.

aw, gosh thanks, Wyo. It's what I do.

he could have mistook his wife for a hat...

WOW...look at all the creative juices flowing!! We need to clean up the blog bar after this....

Anywho..here's my VERY LAME attempt at a parody with my sincere apologies to "The Who"

Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

I woke up in a hospital
And my wife she knew my name
She said "You've been in an awful crash
"lucky 'nuff to get up and walk away"

I looked at her and I said
Who's this woman next to me?
I remember my kids and friends
Hmm..This is it, I can be free

chorus:
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

WYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! nice to know you still have your appetite ;-)

BLURKKKKKKKKKKKKK!! hungry?? I'm reaching for the duct tape now!

gosh, when's the last time I was on the blog with Annie, blurk and Sioux (and El) all at the same time?

yes, blurk, I'm hungry too. haven't eaten in a few days.

Well I'll be danged!! Blurk and Wyo! IF it weren't my two faaaavoriiite cowboys in one place!
um...you and Keith Urban and Tim McGraw and Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney
and Brad Paisley and Brooks and Dunn and Big AND Rich and Cowboy Troy..
oh and the 12 guys in the Studs & Spurs Calendar
and Alan Jackson and the really cute guy in Sugarland...I'm sure I'm
forgetting a few..but you guys ARE my favorites...really.


oh yeah...Yee Haw!!

Sioux, don't forget Clint Eastwood, circa 1964 in a Fistful of Dollars, which I'm watching right now.

OMG I missed a blurk/wyo symo post?

I am so reklempt that I cannot hardly carry on.

OOOOOH...Clint! good one, Wyo.

SO...how are things??I do miss you, my friend!!!! You need to email me and let me know how you're doing.

blurk?? did I scare him away?

Oh, Siouxie - Toby Keith. Yum....

And as for cleaning up this place, I can put on a cute little

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