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April 24, 2007


Remainders Road Manager Ted Habte-Gabr informs me that the official  website is now up and running for the Rock Bottom Remainders "Still Younger Than Keith" Tour. I don't really understand why it's called a "tour" when it's all going to take place on one night in one city. But then I also don't really understand why we're called a "band."

But we're very excited about the big show, and are thinking about incorporating some new songs (defined as "songs that were written after the Spanish-American War"). Also we're giving serious thought to learning how  to tune our instruments. So as the "hep cats" say, it should be a "groovy happening" June 1 at Webster Hall. Be there, or be somewhere else!

You might even be able to go for FREE, if you enter this contest, whose winners will get air fare, hotel and VIP tickets to the show.

ATTENTION 24 FANS: Even if you can't make the show, you can bid on this Kiefer Sutherland model Gibson guitar, which I'll play during the show, and which the whole band (including Roger McGuinn and Steve King) will sign. (Yes, I know "Kiefer" is misspelled in the headline; I have informed Ted.) I'm not sure what, exactly makes this guitar a Kiefer Sutherland model; I just hope that I don't shoot anybody in the thigh.


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Couldn't resist.

first to pout about not being able to go.

Dave, that may be the best satisfaction guarantee ever conceived.

Woooo Hoooooooooo!!! I can't wait!!

um...I mean...groovy man.

It's branding, boss. Focus group basically said that the Beatle's 'toured," that the Stones 'tour,' and same of the Police.

Yikes, Ted!! that second link to you is...um...disturbing to say the least....

is it me or is there nothing on the blog page yet?

Maybe Kiefer Sutherland Guitar = Wooden Music Generator?

crossgirl: You are absolutely correct. You are not on the blog page yet.

Yeah, Ted. Why is there nothing on the blog page?

What's up with it not accepting aol addresses?

Mr. Blog- please enter my email address (amattke1@aol.com) in the contest 500 times (I REALLY wanna go!!).

Why does it tell me I am not entered in the contest?

RE: second Ted link: Who, on earth, taught Dave how to use Photoshop?

This is like showing chimps how to make gunpowder. (No offense Dave).

I'm on the blog!! you have to register with Google.

Uh, Dave RE: "Still Younger than Keith"

God is younger than Keith, and I hear, better looking.

how many times can we enter? how many different email addresses can we use? oh so many questions!!

RE: The Blog, I am on hold with Customer Service. Hang in there, as they say in New Delhi.


Hey, if that's really a JackGuitar, should it have a big bite out of the neck?

Sxi, get me a songlist. My band is preparing oue "RBRmania" tour. We're almost done learning our third chord. You know, "Not the original RBR's, but an incredible simulation."

Regarding how many times you can enter. The 'randomizer,' our programmer tells me, eliminates the 'noise' before it selects a winner.
Noise, he says, among other things is "multiple entries" by the same person.

thanks ted. anyone know how many free email addresses i can sign up for on yahoo...?

Ted, I was able to "post" on there.

LOL Stevie...maybe I can play the maracas!!!

ooooh! I can play some chords too!! A, E, C, D and G!

most songs can be played with those, right?

Four chords? You're overqualified.

And I can't count either. But, yes, come and shake it with us.

Why is it when I click on Satisfaction Guaranteed am I sent to a page with hair stylings of guys with mullets?

YOu could also call it the "We Never Snorted Our Fathers" tour. Rock, on dudes!

Ted, you lovely man...

I entered once each from two different email addresses. I also tried to send "contact" email through the site. Again...MAILER DAEMON time. Nothing at all of mine has apparently gotten through.

Please enter dobeka @ umkc.edu and diva4jesus @ faithmail.com as many times as humanly possible each.

Thank you.

Sycophantically Yours,


PS. You're right. It's NOT a mullet. :)

OK, Ted - Cancel the part of this request that says I'm not entered. I just got a notice saying I am (though why I still got the MAILER DAEMON notices I have no idea.

You're still marvy! ;)

DeskDiva, Ted is bound by a non-disclosure clause in his contract. He is not allowed to publicly acknowledge his mulletude, but he (and the rest of the world, even blind people) know he has a mullet. Sucking up to him by pretending he does not have a mullet will not help you win the contest.

*psst* (Oh, like you know that, casey...)

*rolls eyes*

so, uh, what do we have to do to ensure winning?

crossgirl and deskdiva: In order to gain Ted's attention and enlist his assistance, you must mail him pictures of your big, er, um, well, let me just say, "assets". Having seen pictures of Punkin's, I'm not even gonna try.

casey, me either. I figured if I don't win by pure LUCK - wasn't meant to be.

Please feel free to mail any of those photos to me...

LOL Hammie!!!

Hmm ok, Hammie! but just for you...here's a picture of my assets.

That's my favorite picture of you, Siouxie!


*Waves @ casey, too!*


awwwww...you say the sweeeeetest things, Hammie!

*adjusts her cone bra* It's a real man-getter too. Lots of guys have Wonder Woman fantasies.

When do we find out if we won? And will the winner be posted on the Blog so we can bribe - er, persuade - her/him to take us with them?

Btw, that letter to Amy Tan is....bizarre.

Well, casey...I put on the French Maid costume last week. I mean, ?

*ahem* NSFW

*watches Sio play with her maracas*

Shake shake shake
Shake shake shake
my maracas...my maracas


Well, casey...I put on the French Maid costume last week. I mean, just how far do I have to go?

*ahem* NSFW

*sigh* have fun at the concert punkin...........

awwww, cg! I wish you could come too!!!

I lucked out, my good friend lives in NY and I won't have to get a hotel room. She's been bugging me to come visit for a while now. My OTHER best friend is giving me a Delta buddy pass so it'll be dirt cheap.

so, siouxie....got any friends for me?!

I'm still trying to figure out how to make it work...winning that contest would sure help!!

Dave has some spiffy handwriting. And amazing doodling capabilities.

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