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April 30, 2007

ATTENTION, INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE

Hire these girls.

(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)

Comments

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They were arrested for stealing from people stealing? Or are they considered accomplices? I am so confused!!!

I have to agree that girls could make excellent criminal masterminds. They certainly would not have accidentally turned themselves in.

They worked on a commission basis...

YAY Baron!!

Actually these girls are too smart to work for the IRS.

A 12 year old looked old enough to get away with this? Eat a lot of beef much?

casey, that caught my eye as well. That comment seemed to have been made as an afterthought, as though they'd look real stupid if they did not add that as a qualifier for how the girls got away with it.

Every time I look at Dave's headline "hire these girls" I keep seeing "HIT these girls". I think it's because I have survived a 12 year old girl. Just barely.

casey, I'm constantly amazed I was allowed to survive to "adulthood". (note: I have still refused to grow up.)

I didn't know it was a crime to impersonate a store detective. Impersonating a doctor, lawyer, or a cop, sure. But impersonating a private citizen? I could see it if they were arrested for stealing, which is what they were doing, but for impersonating a store employee?!?!

Good point, there, Bãrön - unless the store dicks are licensed by the cops....

NT, I have one of The Dave's quotes as a part of my signature in e-mails. I think from your previous comment you would enjoy it, too:

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

If they worked for the IRS, they'd have to demand that the shoplifters not only give up their spoils, but also file Schedule N Loss On Non-Dividend Extortable Income From Capital Gains In Excess of Depreciation using the results of Worksheet 2,038 lines 12 through 714, in IRS Publication 19-553 Section 16a, i-iii.

Also, they would need to insist that the shoplifters check the box labelled "Do you want $1,000.00 from the amount owed to be dedicated to the campaign of Dave Barry for President, Yes, of the United States?"

Romanian girls ... Munich (Germany) ... "their" apartment ... 350 British Pounds (that's an indication of a crime??? Well, suppose in a British-sort of way).

*fails to see how they all fit together*

actually, baron, the head Lawn Ranger guy said that. dave put it in his column but he didn't SAY it, if you know what i mean.

Aha... I stand corrected, Judi. I had always attributed it to him.

Heh... DD said "dick"... heh heh...

Just for you, Mr. C. ;)

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