ATTENTION, INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)
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April 30, 2007
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They were arrested for stealing from people stealing? Or are they considered accomplices? I am so confused!!!
Posted by: Laurie | April 30, 2007 at 11:23 AM
I have to agree that girls could make excellent criminal masterminds. They certainly would not have accidentally turned themselves in.
Posted by: Bethie | April 30, 2007 at 11:23 AM
They worked on a commission basis...
Posted by: mm | April 30, 2007 at 11:25 AM
YAY Baron!!
Actually these girls are too smart to work for the IRS.
Posted by: Siouxie | April 30, 2007 at 11:27 AM
A 12 year old looked old enough to get away with this? Eat a lot of beef much?
Posted by: casey | April 30, 2007 at 11:29 AM
casey, that caught my eye as well. That comment seemed to have been made as an afterthought, as though they'd look real stupid if they did not add that as a qualifier for how the girls got away with it.
Posted by: MOTW | April 30, 2007 at 11:37 AM
Every time I look at Dave's headline "hire these girls" I keep seeing "HIT these girls". I think it's because I have survived a 12 year old girl. Just barely.
Posted by: casey | April 30, 2007 at 11:41 AM
casey, I'm constantly amazed I was allowed to survive to "adulthood". (note: I have still refused to grow up.)
Posted by: Nurse Tammy | April 30, 2007 at 11:44 AM
I didn't know it was a crime to impersonate a store detective. Impersonating a doctor, lawyer, or a cop, sure. But impersonating a private citizen? I could see it if they were arrested for stealing, which is what they were doing, but for impersonating a store employee?!?!
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlyff | April 30, 2007 at 11:46 AM
Good point, there, Bãrön - unless the store dicks are licensed by the cops....
Posted by: DeskDiva | April 30, 2007 at 11:48 AM
NT, I have one of The Dave's quotes as a part of my signature in e-mails. I think from your previous comment you would enjoy it, too:
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlyff | April 30, 2007 at 11:49 AM
If they worked for the IRS, they'd have to demand that the shoplifters not only give up their spoils, but also file Schedule N Loss On Non-Dividend Extortable Income From Capital Gains In Excess of Depreciation using the results of Worksheet 2,038 lines 12 through 714, in IRS Publication 19-553 Section 16a, i-iii.
Also, they would need to insist that the shoplifters check the box labelled "Do you want $1,000.00 from the amount owed to be dedicated to the campaign of Dave Barry for President, Yes, of the United States?"
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | April 30, 2007 at 11:49 AM
Romanian girls ... Munich (Germany) ... "their" apartment ... 350 British Pounds (that's an indication of a crime??? Well, suppose in a British-sort of way).
*fails to see how they all fit together*
Posted by: kibby F5™ | April 30, 2007 at 11:50 AM
actually, baron, the head Lawn Ranger guy said that. dave put it in his column but he didn't SAY it, if you know what i mean.
Posted by: judi | April 30, 2007 at 11:55 AM
Aha... I stand corrected, Judi. I had always attributed it to him.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlyff | April 30, 2007 at 11:59 AM
Heh... DD said "dick"... heh heh...
Posted by: Mr. Completely | April 30, 2007 at 12:05 PM
Just for you, Mr. C. ;)
Posted by: DeskDiva | April 30, 2007 at 02:40 PM