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March 28, 2007

THAT HAS TO HURT

"In a worse case scenario, a mature animal can emit about a 44 gallon drum of methane per day."

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*wonders how I missed seeing all the 44 gallon drums on Grandpa's farm*
*hopes nobody lights a match*

Well, if it's already in the drum ...

*wonders how the drum got there*

... shouldn't the methane be easily transportable and used?

Let's see, a 100 head herd of cattle; 1 44 gal drum each per day ....

*does math thingie, by the sticking-the-tounge-out technique*

... WOW! In little over 1 week I'd have enough methane to either heat the house for a month, or stink out the entire Moscow metro system!

I was wondering what that long, agonized mooing was all about.

If only someone could invent a fist sized pill to give the cattle... .

Did cows not fart in the Days of Yore™? I bet they did. With all of those greenhouse gas emissions, that's probably why the last Ice Age ended. I guess we can blame cows for the extinction of the Wolly Mammoth.

44 gallons per day? Heck, after a burrito dinner I can do that by lunch.

*disdainful sniff*

Roughage is one thing, but emitting a 44 gallon drum every day would require mucho TurboLax™!

An Incontinent Truth

*44-gallon SNORK @ Stevie!*

oh, can it....

Pull my udder....

Someone tell Dr. Al "The planet has Hot Flashes" Gore!


LOL Stevie!!

Stop he told me, pa rum pum pum pum
Please make less gas, you see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our planet's atmosphere, pa rum pum pum pum
Was warming up he feared, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

No more methane, please, pa rum pum pum pum,
With my drum.

So he blames me, pa rum pum pum pum
I need to digest too, pa rum pum pum pum
My rear end needs to sing, pa rum pum pum pum
To keep from exploding, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I make for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
One of my drums?

Nearly fainted, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I made my drum for him, pa rum pum pum pum
Nose does protest again, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then Al smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.

Holds up lighter for MtB

*Detonation*

Oops, sorry.

Attach a vacuum line to one (or both) ends!

Gotta go mend the fence up on the north farty.

*turns fans on and lights a match*

Good job, Meanie!

What about an immature animal? How would he handle it?

Aren't people experimenting with using methane for power generation? Let's harness that flatulence. You first. (chortling at layzeeboy. Aside from a fine pun, it sounds very New England.)

Those cows need Beano!

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