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March 05, 2007

NO ONE OF EITHER GENDER SHOULD READ THIS ARTICLE

(Thanks to someone called "Bones")

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FIRST to agree?

Speaking of my ex-wife.....

Boy, two compelling reasons to have sex - death and "breakage".

Let me also add: ewwwwwwww...

My first post! Thanks, Judi!

I mean... um... I'm sorry.

Male spider: Hey, baby, wanna fool around?

Female spider: Put a cork in it!

Male spider: Okay!

Female spider: WTFBBQ!?!?

Male spider: ...Oh, that wasn't such a good ideeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaahhhhh !!!!!

Dang, Bones, I was just about to send that!

Congrats anyway.

Hmmmmm. Not necessarily a bad thing.

Does it vibrate?

I would need YEARS of therapy...

Well, tampons work in a similar fashion....
I'm at work, but TypePad says they're (not there or their) working on whitelisting my ISP (gee, somehow that does not make me feel a lot better). Greetings to all.

"Did I leave something at your place the other night?"

Let's see here... She's cruel and vicious and has all the power, he's doing everything he can to get in there and make babies...

Does this remind us of anyone?

Yikes, that's just like my ex-girlfriend. Except for snapping my dangly-bobbins off in her. Oh, and the post-coital cannibalism. And the 8-legged insect thing.

Ok, this isn't going where I wanted it to, but the fact that this reminds me of my ex-girlfriend at all says something. Although I'm not sure what. Am I typing out loud again?

Check, please!

*S@A*!

Soooo, MP; are you saying she was awarded custody of the dangly bits?

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Leaves behind what a spider can
Claims his turf -- weird surprise,
Blocks em' out - they can "eat his flies"!
Oh, S#!t!
There's part of Spiderman!

Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got jealous, possessive blood.
Can he swing
from a thread
Sure, but now he's a dud in bed
Oh, S#!t!
There's part of Spiderman!

In the chill of night
At the scene of that crime
Like a streak of light
She reacts just in time.

Spidergal, Spidergal
Been knocked up and she's mad as hell
WTF!? BBQ?!
Wait'll you see
What I'm gonna do!

To him, life was one great big bang up
But she gave him the final hang up
Dead dud, that Spidermaaaaan!

Look....I've already had enough trouble with getting things stuck in weird places..... "Check please!"

(and *SNORK* @ Cat!)

*snork* @ cat.

Aw, shucks. I've been double snorked! :-)

Excuse me while I go throw up...........*uuurrrrrppppp*

*Adds a snork @ Cat R*

CatR...Tooooooooooooooooo frikin' funny !!!!!

The randy, dandy spider was looking for a mate
After they met, she did retaliate
Out came the male, without his dangly bit
and the randy, dandy spider's life wasn't worth sh!t.

*snork* @ marfie - now he's REALLY an 'itsy bitsy spider, without his 'water spout.'

*snork* @ marfie!

Got a black widow spider,
I got a black widow spider
I got a black widow spider; holds me so tight I can't see
I got a black widow spider
She’s tryin’ to make a eunuch out of me
Turn your back on me baby, turn your back on me baby
Turn your back on me baby don't turn babe
Turn your back on me baby
You might just break off my magic stick
Don’t you bite on me baby, don’t you bite on me baby
Don’t you bite on me baby; burnin’ with poison, I moan
I’ll flee you so fast, widow spider, a piece of me you’ll own.

JD - you're on a roll today! *snork!*

Thanks, marfie! As are you!

*flaps away*

And the male spider cares about keeping other guy spiders away from her after he's dead because.....?????

Am I missing something here? Or is it the other way around? *chuckle*

Excelent point, counselor.

Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practice to concieve.

*Snork!*

Shout out to Beppie!

That's one of my favorite sayings, and how apropos here. Kudos!

Back from carpools....snorks all around!

hasty getaway

"Guns don't kill people. Husbands who come home early do." - Larry the Cable Guy

"By breaking off parts of their intromittent organs inside a virgin female," at this point, she's not exactly a virgin, is she? You wouldn't think that males would literaly die to have sex, but I guess spiders don't have many other options.

WAIT a minute - Bones? Bones McCoy...is that YOU?

Caught up, SNORK city!

Try as I might, I can't come up with a "Dammit, Jim" joke for this.

Thanks you for the kudos, Eleanor! :)

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