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March 13, 2007
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First?
Posted by: AmerInParis | March 13, 2007 at 11:50 AM
"Paris Hilton has a new and larger chest. That aroused suspicion that she had plastic surgery."
he said aroused
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 11:50 AM
Maybe that's where she stores all that bullsh!t.
Posted by: bbescuela | March 13, 2007 at 11:50 AM
Do these b00bs make my nose look, like, less huge?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2007 at 11:51 AM
She cannot brag about the size of her brain, either.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | March 13, 2007 at 11:51 AM
You know, if Paris Hilton had a major personality transplant and gained quite a few more kilos, I could go for her.
Posted by: AmerInParis | March 13, 2007 at 11:51 AM
Annie, it keeps the focus off her stoopid eye...
Posted by: Siouxie | March 13, 2007 at 11:52 AM
psst - note to Paris....'staring' isn't always good.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2007 at 11:52 AM
Why not? Plastic is consistent with her whole persona.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | March 13, 2007 at 11:54 AM
All of the guests looked at her breasts confused
"pssst. Didn't she use to have just two of them?"
Posted by: fivver | March 13, 2007 at 11:56 AM
fivver - "Yes, but this ample bosom goes to three!"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2007 at 11:57 AM
Imagine how confused people would be if she exhibited a brain.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | March 13, 2007 at 11:59 AM
Skank alert!
Posted by: Suzy Q | March 13, 2007 at 12:00 PM
*draws an imaginary transverse section line @ the base of the neck in photo ... vacuum above, plastic below ...*
GRB/RAN
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | March 13, 2007 at 12:01 PM
we're hot!
Posted by: Paris's's's b00bs | March 13, 2007 at 12:08 PM
Well, Nature DOES abwhore a vacuum.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2007 at 12:08 PM
Shes got boobss, she knows how to buy them.
She never begs, she knows how to choose them.
Shes holdin boob wonderin how to feel them.
Would you bury face in them it ain't hard to find them?
Shes so skanque, shes so skanque,
No, she ain't right.
Shes got weird eye thats kinda lazy.
Shes a fake jet set, she never wears panties.
Everytime shes dancin dudes know what to do.
Everybody knows she's willin' to use it.
Shes so fine, shes all mine,
Girl, she just ain't right.
Shes got boobs, she knows how to buy them.
She never begs, she knows how to choose them.
Shes got silicone and this time,
Stays out exposing herself all time.
Oh, god not her, said, oh god dont want her,
The girl just ain't right, shes ain't right.
Posted by: The blog reader formerly known as Matt | March 13, 2007 at 12:08 PM
Meanie, maybe her brain slipped down into the breast area and...wait...it wouldn't change anything. Who'd know?
Posted by: Peg Leg Pete, CPA | March 13, 2007 at 12:13 PM
Peg Leg Pete - The blog did discuss a technique of moving cells from one location to another, so your theory is plausible. Paris tends to act like a
lab rattest subject.Posted by: Meditrina | March 13, 2007 at 12:21 PM
In related news, They cost so much poor Paris can apparently no longer afford her medication
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 12:26 PM
Holy Cra
pb!!that was uncalled for, Gadfly.
Posted by: Siouxie | March 13, 2007 at 12:31 PM
damn it! i just finished lunch gad, and now lunch is finished with me. please post warnings in the future.
Posted by: wickedwitch | March 13, 2007 at 12:33 PM
Maybe she should have just tried the bacon-around-the-neck trick.
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | March 13, 2007 at 12:36 PM
sorry,
*tosses up a warning*
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 12:38 PM
I thought she was just storing her cell phone. And a tower.
Posted by: baligurl | March 13, 2007 at 12:38 PM
Gadfly...is she pulling the crabs out or puttin 'em in?
Posted by: Chaz | March 13, 2007 at 12:47 PM
Good question Chaz, I will have to get back to you
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 12:52 PM
I think she was petting the crabs. They're the only friends she's got.
Posted by: The blog reader formerly known as Matt | March 13, 2007 at 12:54 PM
yeah, even with aftermarket boobs, I really dont wanna see that.
Petting the Crabs WBAGNFARB
Posted by: Chaz | March 13, 2007 at 12:56 PM
Gah! No pets allowed!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2007 at 12:57 PM
But crabs like wide open caves.
Posted by: The blog reader formerly known as Matt | March 13, 2007 at 01:09 PM
Matt - I'll have to trust your knowledge on the subject.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2007 at 01:12 PM
She looks udderly ridiculuous.
Posted by: ken in jax | March 13, 2007 at 01:14 PM
*also defers to Matt on crab caves*
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 01:16 PM
scuttled right into that one huh? oops.
*Makes mental note to think before posting*
Posted by: The blog reader formerly known as Matt | March 13, 2007 at 01:18 PM
In this case, they prefer damp, musty, stanky caves...
Posted by: Siouxie | March 13, 2007 at 01:19 PM
Matt, you can still claw your way out
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 01:20 PM
don't be blue
Posted by: Gadfly | March 13, 2007 at 01:25 PM
That would explain her grooming habits.
Posted by: The blog reader formerly known as Matt | March 13, 2007 at 01:29 PM
Once again, all I can think of is that her parents must be so proud (especially Gadfly's link).
Posted by: Kirsten | March 13, 2007 at 01:41 PM
Geezer / earwig alert!
Oh......
Crabs walk sideways
and lobsters walk straight
That's why you can't take a crab for your mate.
That is all.
Posted by: Rusty1 | March 13, 2007 at 02:03 PM
Her body was perfect for me. Her face has too much plastic, though.
Posted by: Moon | March 13, 2007 at 07:45 PM
Maybe her orifices have been sewn shut and she's just "filling out" now. It would be about time!
Posted by: shellks | March 14, 2007 at 01:21 AM