24

Last week the terrorists, after much delay during which the plot got padded almost beyond recognition, finally launched a drone carrying a nuclear bomb. Needless to say they launched it from the Los Angeles area, because that is where everything happens. You might think that CTU, which is also located in Los Angeles and has satellites that can detect and track pretty much all earthly movement down to the level of individual gnats, would have detected the launch and sent somebody -- at minimum, California state troopers -- to the site to, you know, apprehend the perpetrators, maybe ticket them for drone-launching without a permit. But no. Not only did CTU not send anybody to the launch site, but it also somehow lost track of the drone.

Seriously: Has there ever been a less-competent federal agency than CTU? And yes, we are including FEMA in that statement.

Fortunately the terrorists this year also suffer from Tiny Brain Syndrome, so they decided to locate the guy who was piloting the drone three blocks from CTU headquarters. Yes! We are still trying to imagine the meeting during which the writers conceived of that. So our boy Jack Bauer, despite floating rib fragments, was able  to terminate the drone pilot with extreme killitude, take over the joystick, and, using what appeared to be Microsoft Brand Flight Simulator, land the drone (Why not?) on the deck of an aircraft carrier in San Francisco.

Vice President Powers Boothe, it goes without saying, decided to retaliate by launching a nuclear strike against... OK, we are not sure where. But we're going to launch a nuclear strike against somebody, unless Jack can do something. We don't really care: We're just grateful for Vice President Powers Boothe, who is (a) acting as president, and (b) a complete raving loon, which means he is our best current hope for the plot, unless the terrorists can pull it together.

In other news: Jack found out that Audrey died in China, but we don't believe Audrey can be killed that easily. Edgar, on the other hand, is still dead.

That is where we stand. I am again on childcare duty tonight, but I will make every effort to be here, ready for action.

UPDATE: Wow. That one guy on Prison Break finally killed that other guy.

UPDATE: No, wait, he just impaled him. False alarm! Sorry.

UPDATE: Fresh plasma! The best kind.

UPDATE: How come they call Fayed's country "Fayed's country?" Is that its name?

UPDATE: I got a phone call, if you can imagine. What happened? Why did Fayed choke Gredenko? Who are these people? Why does this person not eat red food? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

UPDATE: Ah! Mark Hauser. I knew it.

UPDATE: Jack's going back Into the Field. Good.

UPDATE: The Old Navy Shorts are WAYYYYYYYYYYy better than the Boyfriend Trouser.

UPDATE: How will they be able to tell when he's out of the coma?

UPDATE: So our missiles are so lame that we can't hit the Middle East without moving the submarine right up next to it?

UPDATE: Blah blah blah. Let's get back to Jack, in the Field.

UPDATE: Thigh shot! It's been too long.

UPDATE: "I'm gonna talk to him first." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: A nuclear power plant! NOW we are getting somewhere.

UPDATE: You'll be fine, Brady. Nobody ever gets hurt with Jack Bauer around.

UPDATE: Did you ever just really need some protocols?

UPDATE: Has there ever been a more dysfunctional workplace than CTU?

UPDATE: Who the hell is Johnson?

UPDATE: The Victoria's Secret bra seriously beats the Old Navy Shorts.

UPDATE: Assault Vectors! Those will be useful.

UPDATE: It's like "The Young and the Restless," but with worse writing.

UPDATE: This is President Payton's best acting by far.

UPDATE: "I need to put it in your ear." Har.

UPDATE: "Remember the position we talked about?" Har.

UPDATE: They're certainly doing all they can to protect Brady, other than not sending him out alone to meet with nuclear terrorists.

UPDATE: UH-oh: The Boyfriend Trouser ad. Where's the tranquilizer dart when you need it?

UODATE: Interrogation!

UPDATE: Wait... is this going to be just talking???

UPDATE: President Payton! He's BACK!

UPDATE: I hope he goes back into a coma soon, because Vice President Homicidal Lunatic is WAY more fun.

UPDATE: Coup! All right!

UPDATE: Next week, shooting, and Jack is PINNED DOWN. Take it, Amazing Steve.

Comments

[WoosterGirl]

So they choose NOW to talk russian???

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Wow, a clean CTU operation! Amazing!

[Razumihin]

Look out, Dave - they're back!

[Aaronak]

BFTs !!!!!!!!!!

[tw]

The Boyfriend Trouser!!! (#1 of the night)

[jodi-o]

Wasn't Russian an upgrade in the Jack pack? Someone mentioned that a couple of weeks ago.

[Suzy Q]

Wooster, I thought them Russkies were speaking French.

OOo! Boyfriend Pants!

[slyeyes]

Jack learned Russian during the episode when he was hiding out at the Russian embassy.

Oh Boyfriend Trousers!!!!

[Gretchen]

Woostergirl - no lions. This show sucks.

[JJ]

Brady says "anything you can do I can do better"

[Layzeeboy]

K-Mart sucks.

[ShutUpMilo]

Angela Chase and Brian Krakow - sort of together again!

[Wes S.]

Goody, they're going to "prep Gredenko for interrogation."

I was afraid for a moment they were actually serious about cutting back on the torture in the show.

[Jessica R.]

While he was in the Chinese prison, he took a correspondence course in Russian.

[CJrun]

Given my 'druthers, I'll take Claire Danes pantsing me over Jack prepping me for interrogation

[Gretchen]

Could the third hostile be Awwwdrey? Pleeeeeeezzze?

[Crabby Appleton]

Show tunes sung by Ethel Merman don't age well and only add to the whole oddity of the BFT.

[Layzeeboy]

A redneck commercial? Isn't Fox overreaching their audience?

[Suzy Q]

Maybe it's Marwan. That would be cool.

[Jessica R.]

Dave, I shot the bot with the Tranquilizer dart. It didn't even faze the bot. HATE THAT BOT!!!

[ArcticAl]

So Rainman has a built in 20 second delay?

Brady get down on the floor.

Brady get down on the floor now.

Brady we've had enough suspense, get down on the floor now.

Oh go ahead and shoot him Gredenko.

[danceswithvowels]

You bet, judi! CTU sure could use River, too. They'd waste her, though.

[JJ]

they're playing the touching music

[WoosterGirl]

Has anyone said "perimeter"?

I need a drink.

[PinnyPed]

Here comes some torture

[insomniac]

jack knows all about brotherly love...with a vengeance!

[Allen at Division]

Heyyy...Milo is kissing MUCH better than he did in "What Women Want"!...

[Steve-O]

Hope Gredenko has his kevlar thigh pads on

[Wes S.]

Layzeeboy: "A redneck commercial? Isn't Fox overreaching their audience?"

Including us, L?

[Suzy Q]

Jew no who I yam?

[MJ]

"You know who I am." Uh, who doesn't?!

[danceswithvowels]

Time for Jack to give Gredenko some floaters.

[WoosterGirl]

It's thigh-shootin', neck-bitin', shoulder-drillin' time!!!

Give it to him, Jack! Hurt him good!

[Gretchen]

Gredenko is married and wears his wedding ring, so he's not all bad.

[JJ]

President Soofarov? Didn't they get him in "Air Force One?"

[Aaronak]

Gun in position for a thigh shooting.

[Layzeeboy]

Shot in the thigh?? Amputated pinkie??

[ArcticAl]

Just shoot him in the thigh Jack.

[Layzeeboy]

"I'm not Martha."

[WoosterGirl]

Veep es mucho loco.

[Allen at Division]

So Mark has an artery bleeding, the EMT says he has to go to the hospital NOW!, and as they wheel the gurney out the door--KA-THUNKKK! hits the speed bump threshold! Owww, that HAD to hurt!

[Suzy Q]

Vice Prez Do It Already doesn't suffer little Ally McBeal weasels well.

[Jessica R.]

This guy just wants to push the button. Is it that big red easy button?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

PALMER LIVES!!!!

[Gretchen]

Y'know what this show needs? Malcolm McDowell.

[MJ]

GO PALMER GO!

[PinnyPed]

hah Hah crazy powers booth vp. You are owned

[ArcticAl]

Hahahaha Mr. VP.

You're fired!

[danceswithvowels]

Lisa Miller. Please report to cell block 3.

[ShutUpMilo]

Dang, I kinda liked VP Psycho Killer. Now he's in troooooubleeeee!

[Razumihin]

Busted!

[Wes S.]

Damn, Wayne Allstate is back. Just in the nick of time, too.

[JJ]

OMG, what hath god wrought?

[WoosterGirl]

Mr. President grew a pair while in a coma.

[Aaronak]

You are aware that nuking a country is worse than shooting a man in the face by a factor of about one million.

[Suzy Q]

"Even though I'm technically brain dead, I'm resuming my duties as Commander in Chief."

[JJ]

The Fountains of Wayne, just in time

[Gretchen]

Damn. He's evil!

[tw]

What does Alberto Gonzalez have to do with this? Isn't he already in enough trouble????

[Jessica R.]

The Pres has a whale of a headache, and I think this VP is going to have an ache somewhere else!

[Steve-O]

This is sounding strangely familiar..yes, that's it, Anna Nicole!

[slyeyes]

One guy gets drilled in a shoulder and returns to work and is fine.

Another gets bombed, is in a coma, crashes, then returns to running the country.

************

oooooh, a coup in the works!!!

[ChuckE]

Those are exactly the words you want to hear as a cliffhanger: "Get me the Attorney General."

[thinksnow]

McDowel is Linderman on Heroes...which I am missing greatly at this moment

[padraig]

> UPDATE: How come they call Fayed's country "Fayed's
> country?" Is that its name?

VPPB has gotten even worse. Now he won't even say "America", he just says "our country." Pretty soon he'll start talking about "protecting the Fatherland."

[Wes S.]

...but VP Scary won't give up that easily.

And the hell of it is, he's right about Wayne Allstate not being fit enough to resume his Presidential duties. Wayne's been more or less comatose all along...

[Aaronak]

Uh, Mr. Vice President. Funny thing, about the Attorney General...

He's not exactly in a position to do anything right now. The Senate is "interrogating" him over that whole whatsit scandal (forget which one we're in now).

[insomniac]

didn't we do the attorney general deciding who should be pres. thing last year?

[Layzeeboy]

Uh, the Attorney General's kinda busy right now. Don't you read the papers?

[ArcticAl]

So political opportunism is alive and well in Washington. Where do these guys find their VP's anyways - Slime Balls R Us?

[Beppie]

Why do they not share their miraculous curative powers with the rest of the free world???

[JJ]

Cheney just appointed himself AG....finally an ass kicker

[abilicious]

Mutiny in the bunker!

[Jessica R.]

PinnyPed, love your blog name!

Homicidal Lunatics do not go quietly into that good night.

[Beppie]

The bot just told me the country they will be nuking. Khhkn8

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Gretchen: Yes...Malcolm McDowell...if anyone could kill Captain Kirk, they can surely kill Jack Bauer...

[Suzy Q]

Wayne Palmer is the new Tony. You just can't keep a good guy down! At least, not for long.

[MJ]

Ok, at the beginning I said:

Oh wonderful, Howard Gordon wrote this episode. Which pretty much means guaranteed sucking, and cranking up the Wooden Dialogue Generator.

Posted by: MJ | 08:09 PM on March 26, 2007

Now you understand?

[WoosterGirl]

I heard a rumor that Eddie Izzard is supposed to make a guest appearance on 24.

Any truth to that?

"Jack and CTU or Death!"

[judi]

fountains of wayne AND river and mal!? who knew 24 was so much fun!

[Wes S.]

Nothing to worry about...until VP Scary starts demanding to know who ate all the strawberries, at any rate...

[MJ]

Eddie Izard filmed for one day and then quit.

I did hear someone was fired after one day...but haven't gotten a confirmation that it was him.

[WizzyPigabeth]

Okay, well, I'm seriously missing my laptop tonight (I lost my wireless card!!!). I have to leave the room to go on the desktop to check Dave's updates.

LOL@ "How will they know when he's out of the coma." ROFL

I really liked tonight's episode. It was one of the best in recent weeks.

Whoever Johnson is, I like him. And I'm totally loving Evil Noah Jim Jones. He's awesome.

And big surprise, Gredneko wants amnesty/immunity. Who doesn't?

I miss Hoggett. It's about time for him to slither back on screen, isn't it?

[Layzeeboy]

Rollover minutes? Get a Jack-phone.

[Beppie]

Well thanks y'all! It's been fun as thigh shootin hell! Snorks all around! G'nite! See you next time.

[Aaronak]

You know, I love the transition from 24 to the 10:00 news. It's a jump from "The Vice President is going to start WWIII!" to "Our top story tonight: Kid makes a swear in a courtroom!"

[WoosterGirl]

Thanks, MJ. Bummer.

[danceswithvowels]

VP: Now what do we do if Yourcountry attacks us with a fresh kiwi?

[Jessica R.]

Enough fighting with bot. Bye bye all...

[MJ]

Wooster, totally agree. He can act better than a lot of these "random extra characters" can!

[danceswithvowels]

The big new here in Chicagoland is that it was sunny and 79 beautiful degrees. Shorts at work day.

[WoosterGirl]

Well, that's it for me. Gretchen, Suzy Q, I bid you all adieu.

Carrrrrrne asada de Evil Veep.

Steve, I look forward to a recap with my morning coffee tomorrow!

[Layzeeboy]

Aaronak, for me it's "The VP is starting WW111" to "Bridge repairs on I-81 tomorrow."

[Siouxie]

Next week on Dancing with the 24 Stars...Jack does the quickstep and accidentally shoots Bruno (the judge)on the thigh...

[Siouxie]

what?

ohhh...wrong show...

nevermind

[jt]

We've all been down THIS road before...in fact, there's a sense of deja' vu all season.

I've got two dollars that says the Amazing Steve can turn out his summary for NEXT WEEK'S episode before it even goes on the air!

[MJ]

dances - I'm going to Chi-town this weekend. If it's too hot, I'm going to get angry and start shooting people in the thigh.

[bauerbabe]

Sorry, but the Milo/Nadia scene was too much like the hallway rendezvous of Tony and Michelle. After Milo apologized, Nadia replied, "You said it," just like Tony did when Michelle apologized for helping Jack in season 2.

This season contains way too many "reruns". Ugh.

[Layzeeboy]

bauer, ya think it's easy coming up with mindless drivel season after season?

[Val]

Woohoo! Thigh shooting, protocols, and remote modules, oh my!

Tonight was a much better episode - that is until President Payton woke up. I expected him to say "there's no place like home!"

My Fox station is now showing news about 8 bodies found in the woods in Fort Myers. Has Jack been in south Florida?