24

Last week the terrorists, after much delay during which the plot got padded almost beyond recognition, finally launched a drone carrying a nuclear bomb. Needless to say they launched it from the Los Angeles area, because that is where everything happens. You might think that CTU, which is also located in Los Angeles and has satellites that can detect and track pretty much all earthly movement down to the level of individual gnats, would have detected the launch and sent somebody -- at minimum, California state troopers -- to the site to, you know, apprehend the perpetrators, maybe ticket them for drone-launching without a permit. But no. Not only did CTU not send anybody to the launch site, but it also somehow lost track of the drone.

Seriously: Has there ever been a less-competent federal agency than CTU? And yes, we are including FEMA in that statement.

Fortunately the terrorists this year also suffer from Tiny Brain Syndrome, so they decided to locate the guy who was piloting the drone three blocks from CTU headquarters. Yes! We are still trying to imagine the meeting during which the writers conceived of that. So our boy Jack Bauer, despite floating rib fragments, was able  to terminate the drone pilot with extreme killitude, take over the joystick, and, using what appeared to be Microsoft Brand Flight Simulator, land the drone (Why not?) on the deck of an aircraft carrier in San Francisco.

Vice President Powers Boothe, it goes without saying, decided to retaliate by launching a nuclear strike against... OK, we are not sure where. But we're going to launch a nuclear strike against somebody, unless Jack can do something. We don't really care: We're just grateful for Vice President Powers Boothe, who is (a) acting as president, and (b) a complete raving loon, which means he is our best current hope for the plot, unless the terrorists can pull it together.

In other news: Jack found out that Audrey died in China, but we don't believe Audrey can be killed that easily. Edgar, on the other hand, is still dead.

That is where we stand. I am again on childcare duty tonight, but I will make every effort to be here, ready for action.

UPDATE: Wow. That one guy on Prison Break finally killed that other guy.

UPDATE: No, wait, he just impaled him. False alarm! Sorry.

UPDATE: Fresh plasma! The best kind.

UPDATE: How come they call Fayed's country "Fayed's country?" Is that its name?

UPDATE: I got a phone call, if you can imagine. What happened? Why did Fayed choke Gredenko? Who are these people? Why does this person not eat red food? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

UPDATE: Ah! Mark Hauser. I knew it.

UPDATE: Jack's going back Into the Field. Good.

UPDATE: The Old Navy Shorts are WAYYYYYYYYYYy better than the Boyfriend Trouser.

UPDATE: How will they be able to tell when he's out of the coma?

UPDATE: So our missiles are so lame that we can't hit the Middle East without moving the submarine right up next to it?

UPDATE: Blah blah blah. Let's get back to Jack, in the Field.

UPDATE: Thigh shot! It's been too long.

UPDATE: "I'm gonna talk to him first." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: A nuclear power plant! NOW we are getting somewhere.

UPDATE: You'll be fine, Brady. Nobody ever gets hurt with Jack Bauer around.

UPDATE: Did you ever just really need some protocols?

UPDATE: Has there ever been a more dysfunctional workplace than CTU?

UPDATE: Who the hell is Johnson?

UPDATE: The Victoria's Secret bra seriously beats the Old Navy Shorts.

UPDATE: Assault Vectors! Those will be useful.

UPDATE: It's like "The Young and the Restless," but with worse writing.

UPDATE: This is President Payton's best acting by far.

UPDATE: "I need to put it in your ear." Har.

UPDATE: "Remember the position we talked about?" Har.

UPDATE: They're certainly doing all they can to protect Brady, other than not sending him out alone to meet with nuclear terrorists.

UPDATE: UH-oh: The Boyfriend Trouser ad. Where's the tranquilizer dart when you need it?

UODATE: Interrogation!

UPDATE: Wait... is this going to be just talking???

UPDATE: President Payton! He's BACK!

UPDATE: I hope he goes back into a coma soon, because Vice President Homicidal Lunatic is WAY more fun.

UPDATE: Coup! All right!

UPDATE: Next week, shooting, and Jack is PINNED DOWN. Take it, Amazing Steve.

Comments

[JJ]

DEFINITELY

[Layzeeboy]

Jack says nu-KU-lar. Just like Dubya. Is it too much to ask the leaders of the free world to speak English AS IT'S WRITTEN???

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Hey, who let the Tokra into CTU? DON'T TRUST THE TOKRA! Stargate SG1 didn't!

[judi]

i dunno, but i predict it's edgar.

[Suzy Q]

Oh, it's a ROGUE thingamabobble. Like that's never happened before!

[Razumihin]

If by "protocols" you mean "alcohol" then yes, Dave.

[Cheesewiz]

this is what passes for a twist at ctu.

[tw]

He's screwed with the wrong guy!

[Jessica R.]

judi, her initials aren't Audrey, are they?

[Steve-O]

Kind of like 24..

[Beppie]

Haha! Johnson screwed with the wrong guy! Haha!

[CJrun]

Johnson! Ohhh he is so dead! All of the Johnson's get offed!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Shake it, ladies! Woohoo!

[danceswithvowels]

VS reinvents the bra! Again!

[JJ]

did anyone see "The Shooter?' Very 24 like - lots of "hmmmm" plots

[slyeyes]

A SMIRK!! I love a well-placed smirk!

[Beppie]

Haha! Johnson "screwed" with the wrong guy!! Which one was he supposed to screw?

[MaryContrary]

So, does the discovery of the dohickey whatchamacallit device mean that there's not a mole? Or that there is a mole?

[insomniac]

i miss claire danes...

[ArcticAl]

OK Steve-o and Jodi-o. No discussing the grocery list during the show.

[Jason]

OK well the whole Doyle Ricky Milo thing sucks.

But personally, I enjoy laughing at Rainman and Jack.

[Wes S.]

"The Shooter?" Isn't that the film version of Stephen Hunter's novel "Point of Impact?"

...Somehow I can't really see Marky Mark as Bob Lee Swagger...

[danceswithvowels]

Mal Reynolds should Drive with Serenity.

[Steve-O]

Heh heh heh..well, ah..Nadia...ah...ahem..this is going to sound funny but...

[jodi-o]

HEY - My grocery list would be an improvement. Start with a bottle of good bourbon.

[Layzeeboy]

I wish this TV show would stop interrupting the commercials.

[Beppie]

Um, sorry we beat the hell out of you. Bygones??

[JJ]

"Somehow I can't really see Marky Mark as Bob Lee Swagger"

He's not too bad...film's fair as long as you think about it too much....

[Suzy Q]

Nadia's not a bondage slut anymore. She's been "cleared." Now, it's time for her to get her revenge. Wedgies all around!

[judi]

YEAH, dances. mal rocks!

[ArcticAl]

I want you to stay Nadia. I need you!!!! Haig is such a grouch most of the time.

[WoosterGirl]

*zips in*

Ooo,Nadia's a fool.

[Jessica R.]

Oh, sure NOW you need me!?

[danceswithvowels]

I'll stay. I understand they've reinvented the bra while I was detained. Again.

[Wes S.]

Nadia's taking it pretty hard, isn't she? Doesn't she know that occasionally being tortured in the mistaken belief that one is a mole comes with the territory at CTU?

[Gretchen]

I'll stay, but I'm going to need a makeup artist and a hairstylist.

Chloe's JEALOUS!

[Steve-O]

Here plot...whistle whiltle whistle!

[JJ]

awkward? not a CTU guy!

[insomniac]

"don't take it so personally, we've all been suspected traitors at one time or another"

[Layzeeboy]

This is gonna be awkward...your acting career is in the toilet.

[Jessica R.]

Chloe is SOOOOO subtle.

[Suzy Q]

It's part of the damn job description, Wes. Or it should be.

WooooosterGirlie! *waves*

[danceswithvowels]

Is Nadia still wearing her straightjacket?

[ArcticAl]

How come everyone is checking to see they've been drinking this year? First CHloe and now Milo.

[tw]

Yes, the hallway at CTU is not the best place to start a relationship!

[Cheesewiz]

Are there any rules at CTU at all?

[PinnyPed]

Hey sex harassement suit to go along with the you beat me up at work suit

[JBismyhomeboy]

they shouldn't have killed tony & michelle. big mistake.

[Beppie]

Men are so friggin romantic!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jeez, how many things does Nadia have to do against her will?

Hey, wait, isn't Nadia the true love of Sayid on "Lost"?

[Steve-O]

So instead of starting a relationship, why don't we just do this

[WoosterGirl]

Oh, YUCK.

[JJ]

at least they have no worries about anyone seeing them

[MJ]

What the hell is this Tony and Michelle moment?!

[Razumihin]

The hippies tried to make peace that way too, but it didn't work . . .

[Gretchen]

I like his watch. I know that's not what I was supposed to focus on, but there you have it.

[slyeyes]

Milo just tried to breach Nadia's system again.

[Suzy Q]

That chin on Milo could cut buttah. And not in a good way.

[Cheesewiz]

Back to the coma patrol

[MJ]

"Look Bill, I won't take legal action for torturing me. But I'm going to file sexual harassment charges against Milo."

[Aaronak]

Jack just got a text message on his phone.

FROM: Chloe
MESSAGE: Milo <3 Nadia, lol!!

[CJrun]

And we're not good at waiting for you to go away....

[Steve-O]

intracrainal...that means head, doesn't it?

[Wes S.]

You know... D.B. Woodside may be turning in the best performance of his career tonight.

[WoosterGirl]

"Permanent brain damage."

Just like the show and its writers.

[danceswithvowels]

The doctor has been giving Sandra "regular" updates?

[JJ]

intra-cranial swelling! how big can his head get?

[Cheesewiz]

I'm glad she's not my sister.

[ArcticAl]

Put yourself in the good hands of Alstate Wayne!

[MJ]

*SNORK* @ Aaronak!!!

[Gretchen]

WoosterGirl! Hey! Carrrrrrne Assada!

[slyeyes]

He'll crash, then they'll bring him back and he'll be fine.

[Razumihin]

Call Dr. House!

[Jessica R.]

Start a relationship...consummate a relationship...blah blah We want JACK!

[insomniac]

"if you want to stop the nukular attack, blink once..."

[WoosterGirl]

Jack said "dammit!"

*glug glug glug*

[Layzeeboy]

DAMMIT!! Everybody drink!!!

[JJ]

"wear one of these" (Jack used to say that Audrey - sniff sniff)

[ChuckE]

No Brady, this part won't hurt. Getting shot 44 times by Gradenko's men might sting just a little, though.

[Steve-O]

If you want a job at CTU, I suggest that this might be a good time to apply..

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Doncha think the blinds on the windows should be closed so that Gredenko can't see the CTU agents in the house...?

[MaryContrary]

I'm starting to think that Rain Man might be Jack's perfect accomplice . . .

[Suzy Q]

If you're Rain
Man, press 1; If you're Gredenko, press 2...

[WoosterGirl]

Gretcheeeen! Any lions?

Carrrrrrne asada, baby!!

[slyeyes]

Flank 2 position?

[Razumihin]

"Remember the position we talked about?"

dirty thoughts . . .

[tw]

This storyline with the mentally challenged guy is reminding me of one of those ABC Afterschool Specials.

[Wes S.]

Oh, Jack, you are SO going to go to hell for this...

[MJ]

Very seriously, the show is getting desperate for ideas when they are using a mentally challenged person to try to capture a terrorist.

[Layzeeboy]

This is your position. Then count the toothpicks on the floor.

[JJ]

looks a lot like the Desperate Housewives neighborhood

[CJrun]

I think Brady lives across the street from the barn in the forest of LA.

[ShutUpMilo]

Rainman going undercover. This should end well.

[insomniac]

brady: "i'm an excellent bagman"

[MJ]

"Get Ready"

Writers have been reading this blog! There's the proof!

[indygeo]

I keep hoping there will be a K-Mart commercial now.

[ArcticAl]

So when did Jack learn Russian?

[Suzy Q]

"I'm a really good driver!"

[Jessica R.]

A fully capable person wouldn't work with CTU at all.

[JJ]

pretend you're not going to get shot brady