24

Last week the terrorists, after much delay during which the plot got padded almost beyond recognition, finally launched a drone carrying a nuclear bomb. Needless to say they launched it from the Los Angeles area, because that is where everything happens. You might think that CTU, which is also located in Los Angeles and has satellites that can detect and track pretty much all earthly movement down to the level of individual gnats, would have detected the launch and sent somebody -- at minimum, California state troopers -- to the site to, you know, apprehend the perpetrators, maybe ticket them for drone-launching without a permit. But no. Not only did CTU not send anybody to the launch site, but it also somehow lost track of the drone.

Seriously: Has there ever been a less-competent federal agency than CTU? And yes, we are including FEMA in that statement.

Fortunately the terrorists this year also suffer from Tiny Brain Syndrome, so they decided to locate the guy who was piloting the drone three blocks from CTU headquarters. Yes! We are still trying to imagine the meeting during which the writers conceived of that. So our boy Jack Bauer, despite floating rib fragments, was able  to terminate the drone pilot with extreme killitude, take over the joystick, and, using what appeared to be Microsoft Brand Flight Simulator, land the drone (Why not?) on the deck of an aircraft carrier in San Francisco.

Vice President Powers Boothe, it goes without saying, decided to retaliate by launching a nuclear strike against... OK, we are not sure where. But we're going to launch a nuclear strike against somebody, unless Jack can do something. We don't really care: We're just grateful for Vice President Powers Boothe, who is (a) acting as president, and (b) a complete raving loon, which means he is our best current hope for the plot, unless the terrorists can pull it together.

In other news: Jack found out that Audrey died in China, but we don't believe Audrey can be killed that easily. Edgar, on the other hand, is still dead.

That is where we stand. I am again on childcare duty tonight, but I will make every effort to be here, ready for action.

UPDATE: Wow. That one guy on Prison Break finally killed that other guy.

UPDATE: No, wait, he just impaled him. False alarm! Sorry.

UPDATE: Fresh plasma! The best kind.

UPDATE: How come they call Fayed's country "Fayed's country?" Is that its name?

UPDATE: I got a phone call, if you can imagine. What happened? Why did Fayed choke Gredenko? Who are these people? Why does this person not eat red food? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

UPDATE: Ah! Mark Hauser. I knew it.

UPDATE: Jack's going back Into the Field. Good.

UPDATE: The Old Navy Shorts are WAYYYYYYYYYYy better than the Boyfriend Trouser.

UPDATE: How will they be able to tell when he's out of the coma?

UPDATE: So our missiles are so lame that we can't hit the Middle East without moving the submarine right up next to it?

UPDATE: Blah blah blah. Let's get back to Jack, in the Field.

UPDATE: Thigh shot! It's been too long.

UPDATE: "I'm gonna talk to him first." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: A nuclear power plant! NOW we are getting somewhere.

UPDATE: You'll be fine, Brady. Nobody ever gets hurt with Jack Bauer around.

UPDATE: Did you ever just really need some protocols?

UPDATE: Has there ever been a more dysfunctional workplace than CTU?

UPDATE: Who the hell is Johnson?

UPDATE: The Victoria's Secret bra seriously beats the Old Navy Shorts.

UPDATE: Assault Vectors! Those will be useful.

UPDATE: It's like "The Young and the Restless," but with worse writing.

UPDATE: This is President Payton's best acting by far.

UPDATE: "I need to put it in your ear." Har.

UPDATE: "Remember the position we talked about?" Har.

UPDATE: They're certainly doing all they can to protect Brady, other than not sending him out alone to meet with nuclear terrorists.

UPDATE: UH-oh: The Boyfriend Trouser ad. Where's the tranquilizer dart when you need it?

UODATE: Interrogation!

UPDATE: Wait... is this going to be just talking???

UPDATE: President Payton! He's BACK!

UPDATE: I hope he goes back into a coma soon, because Vice President Homicidal Lunatic is WAY more fun.

UPDATE: Coup! All right!

UPDATE: Next week, shooting, and Jack is PINNED DOWN. Take it, Amazing Steve.

Comments

[ArcticAl]

Let's play wake up Wayne! We'll see what he has to say on the subject and then watch him croak and go on to sell insurance.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

At the White House? Don't you mean just down the hallway? Are you all in a bunker??!?

[Steve-O]

A nuclear strike..? What is it?

[slyeyes]

OK, I was sure the leak was Milo and since he had loaned his logon info to Nadia, it looked like she was the leak.

But it wasn't Milo, it was a module.

And I totally don't understand that

[Suzy Q]

Blah, blah, blah, girltalk, blah, blah, nuclear attack, blah, blah, nail polish.

[danceswithvowels]

In the coma, the nighty coma
The lion gets a nuke.

[Aaronak]

Wait a second. Karen Hayes is wrong, the President was threatening the ambassador, too.

[TS]

Sandra just doesn't love her country enough

[Gretchen]

tw - NO! In the first Star Wars, Hamill was WAY cuter! Then he had the car accident and the plastic surgery and I totally lost interest.

Ricky will always look like the kid from Silver Spoons.

[Wes S.]

"When Wayne regains consciousness?" Was President Wayne Allstate EVER actually conscious?

[T-Bone]

Pssst ACT!!

[Beppie]

WWWD?

[slyeyes]

WWWD?

[Jazzzz]

Why haven't they killed that woman yet??????????????

[Jessica R.]

C'mon one brother assassinated, one brother blown up doesn't look good for the Palmer gene pool.

[Beppie]

Slyeyes--weird!!

[Razumihin]

If I had a nickle for every time they referenced the length of the show ("within the hour") during the show, I'd be able to retire . . .

[Gretchen]

*Snork* at Beppie!

[ArcticAl]

Why are the missiles on this show always operating in slow motion? Boomers can hit their targets from the dock in Virginia, so why does this one have to sail to Africa and launch a slow, slow missile?

[MJ]

Wayne Palmer dies, and goes to work for the competition "Geiko". Then they turn that into it's own tv series "As the Palmer's turn."

[danceswithvowels]

Wow, Tom launches a DROOOOOOONE.

[Wes S.]

Comment by Slyeyes:

"...But (the leak) wasn't Milo, it was a module. And I totally don't understand that."

Question: Who installed the module to let the terrorists have access to CTU's systems?

[Suzy Q]

Can't stop a man when he's gotta pee. It'll just be a minute, folks. Be right back! Nuclular attack right on schedule. Right after this lil tinkle.

[Gretchen]

I don't think there's any such thing as intercranial hypertension.

[danceswithvowels]

A fluid process. Intracranial fluid. Bwahaha.

[Beppie]

Or they drone whilst they launch.

[ArcticAl]

So the VP thinks that he can order everyone around who doesn't want to let him play with his nuke toys?

[Steve-O]

And what kind of doctor will we need to undo THAT?

[MJ]

GO DOCTOR GO!

[Aaronak]

Where is Jack? I missed something.

[Cheesewiz]

Cue the conga drums.

[Suzy Q]

Well, there IS such a thang as intracranial tension. But what they said? Not so much.

[Wes S.]

Ohnoes! CTU's going to shoot Rain Man!

[PinnyPed]

Hey how did Jack get to Rainman's house. I wasn't paying attention.

[danceswithvowels]

Jack's going to impound Tom Cruise's Porsches.

[ArcticAl]

THIGH SHOT!!!!

[Jessica R.]

Gretchen, I don't think there is any such thing as the most exciting hour on television.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

THIGH SHOT!

[Razumihin]

Jack's going after that red food recipe.

[Gretchen]

Sprint Picture Mall? What's that? I don't have that. That's not fair!

[Beppie]

IT's a hairlipped dog!

[Steve-O]

these guys at ctu couldn't take my pet turtle alive!

[Jeannie]

Oh no! Shot in the thigh!

[Layzeeboy]

Dear Teacher;

Please excuse Layzeeboy for being late. He had to bring all the laundry downstairs, separate it (which is no small feat for a guy who can't understand if a white t-shirt with red lettering is a white or a colored), put it into three loads and wash and/or dry it while watching 24. (Dave, I'll trade you kid duty if you do my laundry). Oh, then cook dinner and clean up.

*settles down at 00:18 to watch some stupid TV show*

Layzee's mom wife

[MJ]

Oh jeez....dramatic nonsense.

Jack bonds with RainMan. Another spin-off show I see....

[PinnyPed]

Buy him underwear from K-Mart Jack. That'll work

[slyeyes]

Qantas.

[Suzy Q]

OMG, my phone rang! I missed a thigh shot? Damn.

[ArcticAl]

So Rainman is Chloe is without the personality disorder?

[Cheesewiz]

Jack Bauer, diplomat-psychologist, thigh-shooting lunatic.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

THIGH TOUCH!

[Shelly Volante]

Rainman sounds like a dog with a hairlip . . .

Mark! Mark! Mark!

sheesh!

[MJ]

LOVED how that sentence went over Jack's head. You could hear the air whoosh!

[insomniac]

"stop whining, he was just shot, my innards look like Campbell's Cream of Spleen and you don't see me crying"

[Razumihin]

"Tell him, Ray."
"K-Mart sucks."

[Jessica R.]

If Mark dies, Jack gets to take Rainman home to drive slow in the driveway.

[Wes S.]

Ohnoes! Not the "let's blow up the 'nukuler' power plants" plotline from Season Four again!

[Steve-O]

Did Jack just say..nukular?

[Aaronak]

This guy was put on the show as a message: "If you thought Chloe has a personality disorder, you had no idea what a personality disorder is."

[Suzy Q]

SNORK at insom for Campbell's Cream of Spleen. Ha!

[Cheesewiz]

wouldn't they just download the specs to the G-Man?

[MJ]

Text message from a friend: "What is this, Rain Man?!"

[Jason]

Every once in a while... every great once in a while there is an hour of 24 that makes me fall in love with it again.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of those episdoes.

God bless you Jack Bauer.

[Josh D Ondich]

Vice President Powers Boothe keeps Palmer in comma, data files for a nuclear plant are being reveiled by a Gredenko Sympathizer through interrogation, when will we see more fighting,blowing heads off and extreme interrogation tactics. This season is getting Jack Bauer watered down.

[tw]

Gretchen - Okay, but what about Luke in Return of the Jedi? C'mon....Ricky looks a lot like the older Luke!

[Sam G.]

According to my dad, who works at a nuclear power plant, the one that they mentioned does not exist.

I don't know what to believe in anymore.

[MJ]

Does anyone know what happened to ManKim? He was more interesting (and less annoying...and smarter!) than Sandra Palmer.

[Razumihin]

Pfft, Luke. It's all about Han Solo. When does he show up?

[Peter]

My guess is that in order to catch gredenko CTu needs to set up a PERIMETER.

[ArcticAl]

Are they trying to say that us computer type people have certain challenges?

[slyeyes]

Sam, they made it up?!?!

Inconceivable.

[MJ]

There's a Power Plant about 20 miles from me.

But I checked www.whitepages.com, and there's a Jack Bauer that lives in Omaha, NE, so I'm safe.

[judi]

i heard someone's supposed to be a real surprise at the end of the episode.

[Razumihin]

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

[insomniac]

arctic al. - yeah....definitely yeah,
*rocking back and forth*

[Suzy Q]

Ok, quick recap of tonight: NOTHING has happened. Business as usual for CTU this season.

[Dan]

Is Rain Man the typical Fox News viewer?

[MJ]

Judi- a real plot appears?

[Steve-O]

Jack tallks to Mark, and Mark talks to Brady.
Brady Brady Brady!!!

[Beppie]

YOu'll be fine, until you get shot in the thigh.

[Wes S.]

MJ, never mind ManKim: the ORIGINAL Kim was more interesting, less annoying and smarter than Sista Sandra Allstate...

[ArcticAl]

Uh oh, Jack's going to look after Rainman. He's going to have a short life on this show.

[Jeannie]

Judi, by surprise to you mean that they will be throwing The Blog in as a plot twist?

[Suzy Q]

Oh, Jack. Don't try to be all fuzzy-wuzzy with the Rain Man just because he's...rainy. Just shoot him in the thigh already.

[Gretchen]

TW - Didn't see Jedi. Like I said, lost interest after the plastic surgery.

Did EVERYBODY learn how to play autistic from Dustin Hoffman? All together now -- this is DEFINITELY not my underwear!

[MJ]

How can these actors keep a straight face?! I'm laughing myself right out of my chair during the Rain Man scenes.

[slyeyes]

Was "protocols" one of our drinking words?

If so,

*hic*

[Steve-O]

Well Brady, It's been nice knowing you..

[Beppie]

The surprise will be Chloe will give everybody and unexpected "drug and alcohol test".

[tomservo]

Thus was born the greatest odd couple style crime fighting duo ever... JACK BAUER and BRADY!!!

[jodi-o]

Hi Hubby Steve-o,
At least we can be together in blog land tonight. See ya in a couple of days. This is way more interesting the 24.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jack just promised his brother would be "taken care of". Good thing that Brady doesn't understand what that means...

[JJ]

I'm on loan from District too

[ArcticAl]

The old double cross eh?

[PinnyPed]

Well I hate to disillusion you about the Nuke plant, but there's no such thing as a suitcase nuke either. The real "suitcase nuke" would be the size of that van they were driving around in.

[CJrun]

Somebody check Jason's meds. I think he has intracranial hypertension....

[Beppie]

Hell, I need some protocols right now.

[Gretchen]

Creepy blue-eyed guy is the mole.

[ShutUpMiles]

Could I *BE* less interested in the Ricky Rick Ricky sub-plot?

[slyeyes]

Is "her system was breached" a euphamism?