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February 25, 2007

THE OSCARS

I'll be on the road tonight, so I'll miss some, if not all, of the show. I'm posting this here in case you commenters wish to comment. I'll join in if I get where I'm going in time, but I don't know much about this year's nominees, because as in past years, I generally see movies with my daughter, and thus am pretty much limited to the genre known technically as "Movies Featuring Talking Raccoons."

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Talking raccoons? Dave is gonna be watching a psychedelic movie with Sophie. Cool

I hear there's a special category for "Best Performance by a Piece of Wood", and Al Gore is picking up the prize. That guy is everywhere.

Then let's all give it up for "The Talking Raccoons"!!

That's right, Steve! I think his entry is called "An Inconvenient Spruce."

hahahaha....that's great JD. :-)

Ducky....I *snorked* my kitten up my nose on that one.

Jazzzz, your poor kitty! Meowch!

I'll probably watch some of it, but only for two reasons.

1) Hoping someone important will fall down

2) So I will know what they're talking about on right-wing talk radio tomorrow while I'm in my car during the lunch hour. Last year, on the Monday following the Oscars, I had no idea what they were talking about because I hadn't watched. Apparently, the Oscars was full of Hollywood liberals and other narcissists, so it was horrible to watch, but the radio hosts and most of the listeners watched anyway. So the fun doesn't end tonight, folks!

Dave, just be glad that she's out of the revoltingly cute w/ colors-that-don't-occur-in-nature animal stage. I d@mn near cried the day I overhead my 7 yr. old saying that she thought Care Bears were stupid.

De@th to My Little Ponies! Power to the Parents!

Wow, marfie! Gumball?

I'm kinda in the same boat (blimp?) as Dave, because we rarely go to movies, so I'm not really familiar with most of the nominees, either. Unless Harry Potter has been nominated?

An Inconvenient Spruce would make a good name for a rock band

I'm off to the movies with my daughter. Since she's 16 now, we can watch grown up movies...like Ghost Rider!!

I've seen Little Miss Sunshine and it's really good. Haven't seen the others. Soooooooo I'll root for Harry Potter and the Talking Raccoons to win for best whatever.

Speaking of movies, Gone With the Wind is on right now, and Scarlett just slapped the dickens out of Prissy when she said, "Miss Scarlett, I don't know nuthin' about birthin' babies."

Now THAT was a movie!

Gumball?

Oh btw, I just finished watching The Descent, which was one of Stephen King's fav horror-type films of the year ...wow...very good! If you like horror/blood/guts of course.

I'm off now...see ya's later!

Cheryl and marfie, we need to be Oscar ready by 8 EST!

Helen Mirren was amazing in The Queen, BTW. Although it's a little weird watching the kindly farmer from Babe playing her stiff-necked husband. I kept waiting for him to say: "That'll do, Pig."

I'll miss the Oscars tonight, too, unless I get out of work early. The only movie I've seen is The Departed, which was great.

Snorks @ Ducky & Jazz (for kitten up the nose)

If there was a best wooden acting category there'd be a hellovalot more than 5 nominees.

I'll be ready as soon as I can find those clippers and my bic lighter...

Harry Potter and the talking raccoon WBAGNAFSBINSWAIDWTGS (would be a good name for something, but I'm not sure what and I don't want to get sued.)

marfie, the "Death to My Little Ponies" comment sounded a bit like a rant, and therefore gumball-worthy.

better talking raccoons than nuclear squirrels I say....

I finally found the right dress , tho...

Woo-hoo, marfie! Whatta gown!

I kept waiting for him to say: "That'll do, Pig."

how do we know prince philip doesn't say that "afterwards"

So, Ducky - is a gumball good or bad? Is it like: "Nice rant girl, have a gumball!" or is it a subtle way of communicating that the blog community is a wee bit worried that you are about to go off the deep end without a life preserver? (which would certainly be appropriate, given how I feel about My Little Ponies)

Oh, *SNORK*, insom!

marfie, a gumball is a reference to a marihoochie-laced gumball, and offered when one might need to chill out; similar to a chill pill. I will have to ask the blog elders (I mean, those who have been blogging here longer than I) for the specific reference, but I think it was probably from a story posted on an earlier thread.

*Royally swinish SNORK* @ insom!

Uh- the second one, marfie.

*Jai-lais a valium-dipped gumball in marfie's general direction*

major "snork" at insom

Whoops! Sorry JD- I Jope that didn't Jhurt.

Nice runnin' into ya, ddd! Have you recuperated from the Your Mom's @ss debacle?

The gumballs I've been chewing are a dirivitive of skunk

Here's the deal - Kiefer will be at the Oscars tonight. He will, of course, party his pants off again. My question is, where will he end up tomorrow morning?
1.in a Dennys in Burbank
2.in a Buick in Long Beach
3.in a movie with a talking squirrel
4.in an IHOP in Compton
5.on the floor of Club 88

Look!! A 3!

i've seen little miss sunshine too. and the devil wears prada, which both my daughter and i described as "cute" but unmemorable. i am unbelievably surprised that it has anything to do with the OSCARS for gods sake.

Annie, I'll go with the Denny's. Although the talking squirrel movie may be a close runner-up.

Ah, now all is clear....and look at all the pretty colors!

hmmm, since there's no such thing as a talking squirrel, there is no #3.

Prolly won't watch ... no credibility as to havin' a brain in their collective heads = no interest on my part ...

so ... I'll keep up with y'all and yer postin's here ... tho I might have it turned on, with the sound muted, merely for company in the room ...

Unless there's a rerun on another channel ... Mebbe I can find Casablanca ... heck, even Abbot & Costello Shoot the Moon would be preferable to whut else is on ...

If Keifer imbibes enough, the squirrels will be talkin', Trust Me.

Oscars!!!

*reaches up and switches i & e around* Sorry, these gumballs wreak havoc on my spelling...

Mebbe I can find Casablanca ...
TCM 6 PM EST, excellent choice.
Your Runyon quote on another thread was great.

I've had better luck picking Oscar winners when I don't know any of the movies.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar movie winner,
That is what I'd truly like to be-e-e.
'Cuz if I were an Oscar movie winner,
Maybe I could jam with Dave Barry!

judi - I read somewhere that the Oscars are contractually obligated to nominate Meryl Streep every year, apparently that explains The Devil Wears Prada being involved in the awards.

judi, if meryl streep isn't nominated for something, then the terrorists have won...

*psychic simulpost*

Sorry...I would rather have painful rectal itch than watch. Plus, the last time I went to the movie theater, I don't think they were "talkies"

well shoot! I've never watched the Oscars before.. but laughed so much last year reading Dave's comments.. I was going to watch it. At least muted though. I can't watch much TV.. sends brain cells packing

I just want the little girl from Little Miss Sunshine to win. That dance number was the funniest d@mn thing I've seen all year and you never see it coming. My sides hurt from laughing.

*SNORK!!!!!!!!*

Jazzzz & Annie - you have a way with words. OMFG!

marfie, I agree w/ you on Lil Miss Sun. The whole cast was awesome.

My best Oscar moment --

Watching them on TV when they were held in downtown LA (Dorothy Candler Pavilion at the Music Center, I think), driving to almost-downtown afterwards to satify a craving for an Original Tommyburger ( a greasy 24/7 chiliburger stand/institution where there are no seats, always a line, and a 50-50 chance of a knife fight the line).

Up pulls a limo and out pops Muhammed Ali looking splendiferous in his tux - he had been a presenter at the ceremony - proclaiming his love for Tommyburgers, which are probably the one thing that brings Los Angelenos together. A true man of the people, the crowd loved it, and he gave an autograph to the big sweaty guy working behind the chili pot on a cardboard burger tray. I wouldn't be surprised if it's still up.

wow, Stevie - only in LA, right?

Wait a minute. 24 isn't on until Monday night. What the hell are you talking about? Do you mean that 24 is up for best picture and Keifer is up for best Actor? That Chloe is up for best Canadian nerd turned hottie? That Edgar is up for best still dead guy? That Jack's dad is up for best father? That Walter Payton is up for best dead President starring in insurance commercials? Yeah, see if you can make sense of that last one.

Yup, aw, a true LA experience. No squirrels with purses though. You must be familiar with Tommy's now that they've branched out a bit.

Why'd you think I had NY roots?

That means your roots don't match the rest of your hair

Brad, sweetie, it's a party in LA. Kiefer's a party boy. Plus, most tv actors wanna be movie actors, so they hang out there. And his dad did movies. Anyway, I'd explain it further, but if you're not here, you probably won't understand. Now excuse me, but it's quite hard to type with my nose this high in the air.

Stevie - your sense of humor is New Yawkish. Something in the water back there. And I don't mean beavers

I just watched The Devil Wears Prada, just so I could be one of the "in" people watching the Oscars. The only other one I've seen is Little Miss Sunshine, which was adorable. Devil/Prada: not so much but great clothes and shoes.

And the bagels and the pizza crust, I know, I know.

I'm an LA native but I guess my roots make me bicoastal (waiting for Jazzz' crack about that word). Reminds me of how Calvin Trillin says an upbeat realtor would describe some land in the midwest he's trying to sell: "Equally convenient to both coasts."

"waiting for Jazzz' crack"..... I'm scared

I usually tune in to see the "Host-of-the-Moment" do his/her schtick at the beginning....then I switch to the History Channel.

Anybody see Bill Geist's take on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this morning??? Even David-frikkin-Hasselhoff has a star!! And Judge Judy too!

The only reason I'd watch tonight is to find out which stars will stick their feet in their mouths. And the clothes.

True story - remember Billy Crystal hosted, and entered on his horse, then used his car alarm to 'lock' the horse? I got to meet his horse. No autograph, though.

WOW! I've mocked the Yankee fan who touched the horse that touched Billy Crystals' A$$!!!

*snif*

I feel so honored.

*snork*@ Punkin, if I follow that correctly. His name was Buttercup, and he was a very nice horse.

Hey, I wonder if AlanBoss is working today. He's a makeup artist. I'll bet he has some stories.

Screw the Oscars, Dave! The REAL question is: Will you be traveling while 24 is on tomorrow night?

However, I have never ever touched Jazzzz's bicoastal crack. NTTAWWT.

Joan Rivers' is sucking the fun out of the red carpet.

I saw Joan on TV today - her face is so tight, she literally could not form words correctly. SO sad.

Ok, pop survey - if money were no object, and your safety was guaranteed, would you have plastic surgery and if yes, on what??????

If Joan gets one more face lift, she'll have a goatee.

*throws stale bun at Jazzz*

Punkin - 10 years ago, I would have said emphatically NO.

The same thing can be said about my (x)marriage and my breasts: they were such a cute couple before they had kids.

Punkin,

Yes in a few years, I might have a few little things from a previous medically related surgery corrected and while they were there, maybe fix a few wrinkles. It's hard to say now whether they would bother me enough then.

Patrick O --

Alas, no TCM here @ this hotel ... rats!

I've always liked Runyon and his characters ... I directed Guys & Dolls once ... had a great time!

OMG re Joan Rivers -

I just turned it on and only saw the back of her head while she was interviewing the tall guy from Indiana and Santa Clarita. She finally turned around and I swear I wa thought I was watching the end of that Twilight Zone episode, "Eye of the Beholder" (the one where the doctors and nurses are trying to make the ugly patient beautiful, but in reality everyone but her is ugly), at the moment when we finally see the faces of the doctors and nurses.

Remember?

ok. finally i'm back on. these are the only oscar's that i like to watch.

I'm definitely rooting for Little Miss Sunshine. I love Steve Carell, and I think the whole cast did a good job.
I've also seen The Devil Wears Prada, which was ok, but not my type of movie. Other than that, I haven't seen any of the nominated films. I'm just that cultured.

SteveW....they look so..so..unhappy!

Punkin- no way - I'm perfect already. Besides, Joan is an excellent example of why you shouldn't have it done.

Eyathan1238, that was war crimes material!

I may have a couple of things "lifted" in the future.... I've assisted at liposuction procedures and since then I have crossed the thought of THAT completely out of my mind! SO brutal.

My sister had lipo (she didn't tell me before she did it or I would have tried to talk her out of it) while she was in Germany. I think it was performed by a former Nazi, cause she ended up hemorraging and couldn't even speak the language. Not my kinda fun.

Ok, resume Joan Rivers cattiness.

If Sally Kirkland paid more than a plug nickel for her facelift, she got ripped off. Or was that Miss Piggie?

Punkin, YES!

(1) if money were no object (but it always is around here)

and (2) your (my) safety was guaranteed (and we know what happened to the author of The First Wives' Club)...

I would LOVE to have this darn Caesarean-sag lopped off! (I suspect Mr. Avid would appreciate it too, but he's just too darned nice to *ever* say anything about it.)

And *SNORK* at Meditrina's cute couple!

I would like to get my head removed from my a$$

*snork* @ jazzzz's crack surgery!

Punkin, Yes; and anything that needs it.

Anyone watching the Red Carpen on E? (I got fed up with Joan and switched).

One of their commentators has an illustrator thingy like John Maddens'. I think they are calling it the "Glamostrator" and use it to circule fashion no no's.

Oddly, they are not drawing circles around Cameron Diaz' mess on top of her head. Did she not realize tonight was the Oscars?

Annie...I'm dying here!!!

At least he moved his tie to the side.

The guy on the right on ABC is pretty fuuny.

gosh Jazzzz, that looks awfully uncomfortable. You're gonna need some industrial strength preparation H after that comes out....

Not to mention a really good shampoo.

Poor man's endoscopy. Dude needs a better HMO.

What's the drinking game?

Does it include taking a shot every time Will Smith laughs at a bad joke on camera?

Do you have to drink a bottle of Jack if Joan Rivers face falls off? (I LOVE Joan Rivers, BTW - she is HILARIOUS and a real pioneer!)

Here gerbil, gerbil...

jazzz - of course you are - you can't breathe, and it'll take more than an inhaler to get you going again.

DAVE really needs to live blog the Oscars. There's so much material that we may need a whole crew of bloggers out here to cover it all. It needs to be done right, and of course, wearing formal wear. I'll go find a baby blue tux for Dave for next year's 'Blogscar Cast.'

Years ago, I remember watching Dolly Parton, fearing that at any moment her corset would give way. That's how I feel about Joan's face.

Annie, you mean you aren't in formal wear? Personally, I'm wearing my best pesto-encrusted sweats.

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