NEWS MAKING THE NEWS

This blog has been busy drinking providing in-depth coverage of the Super Bowl, and thus has fallen behind on some of the major news events that many people with way too much spare time alert correspondents have been sending in links for, such as:

-- The terrorist eagle that cut off the electricity with a deer head;

-- The detouring moose, which would be a good name for a rock band; and of course

-- The Porn and Pancakes Church Breakfast.

But the big news is that a mathematician, using mathematics, has calculated -- women of the female gender, take note -- that is it mathematically inefficient to always be leaving the toilet seat down.

Comments

[Baron vonKlyff]

Another simul with Siouxie. Things are looking up.

[Clean Hands]

So, a woman with triplets is one of those fortunate folks with a third nipple? Just trying to figure this all out....

:-D

[Siouxie]

*all woozy now*

smoke??? ==~~

[Punkin Poo]

No, CH - If this were prehistoric times, a woman with triplets and only two boobies may not have enough milk, and one baby may have to die so the others can live....same with animals - too many mouths, not enough nipples means someone suffers.

[Baron vonKlyff]

Baron, I meant hands used as claspers...and to prevent slippage???

Actually, part of the science note I left out is that the 'clasper' also keeps the mate from running away. That's what the handcuffs are for... just sayin'.

[wickedwitch]

Baron - TMI! there are things that i don't really need to know.

[Siouxie]

ahhhhh, gotcha Baron...carry on.

*prefers silk scarves*

[Clean Hands]

Punkin, I'd guess that not too many triplets survived childbirth in prehistoric times... and if they did, other moms would probably lend a, er, hand.

...too many mouths, not enough nipples means someone suffers.

Amen to that!! :-D

[ubetcha]

The clasper thingie sounds like a good idea to me as long as it stays, um, erectified. Think of the advantages, ladies!

[Hammond Rye]

This is why humans invented tasers and duct tape.

[Baron vonKlyff]

It's amazing the details you retain from a course you mostly slept through... college biology 101. I remember almost nothing else from that course, except that I almost failed it. That, however, is the one salient point that remains ingrained in my sick and twisted enlightened mind.

[Baron vonKlyff]

*snork* @ Hammond

[Siouxie]

ohhhh Hammie...you're sooooooo romantic!!

[Baron vonKlyff]

Then comes the tractor battery and nipple clamps wine and roses, right?

[Mot the Hoople]

Toilet seats to tatas with a thomas excursion along the way. I see my blog brothers have still got theirn priorities right.

[Baron vonKlyff]

See you sickos bloglits later. Gotta take Mastiff vonKlyff to the vet.

[Hammond Rye]

I've gotten no complaints.

Ever.

[Annie Where-but-here]

If you give a moose a detour on the way to the porn & pancake breakfast, he'll probably fall in the toilet.
btw - it is mathematically inefficient to waste your time calculating whether it is mathematically inefficient to always be leaving the toilet seat down.

[Siouxie]

bye Baron!!

[catman]

You left out the Boston idiots thinking a PC board with LEDs of a stick figure being misinterpreted as "bomb".

What fools!

[Clean Hands]

That was frigging hillarious, catman. Here in Portland, someone just took it down and stuck it on the filing cabinet - thought it was a hoot. In Boston, they're pressing charges.

Now, if Jack got his hands on one of these devices, thighs everywhere should be on guard.

[Hammond Rye]

Someone already has one on Ebay for $5k.

[Jazzzz]

I'm trying to calculate the ideal mouth to nipple ratio. ... anybody? Bulher?

[Siouxie]

psssssst...wake up people!! new thread ----->

[casey]

Come here Jazzzz, I have something I need to um, uh, talk to you about.

[Mot the Hoople]

Hey, if there're 2 nipples I aint sharing man. T want those babies all to myself. Does that answer your question Jazzzz?

[Mot the Hoople]

Don't know my IIIs from my TTTs

[Addicted to 24]

Totally off any of the topics provided but am I alone in thinking that this whole Boston thing is kinda funny.

[Addicted to 24]

Totally off any of the topics provided but am I alone in thinking that this whole Boston thing is kinda funny.

[Comrade Pierce]

Mr. Barry, I am a BIG FAN of yours. I love to write and sometimes I would try to imitate your writing style. I just posted a story on my blog. I know you are busy, but could you read it and email me your comments? You can also find another story I wrote b4, which is called "Pierce, 2PAC, and a Dull Afternoon". I thought it might be fun to read it too.

Here is the link: http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1259879087#sort_3

My email address is piercewang07@yahoo.com

Hearing from you will be a major thrill in my life!!! Even if just a few words!!!

Btw, I am from the communist China. I don't mean that everybody who is now reading your blog should wet his pants because I am not hear to scare anybody. Actually I am just hoping that they don't beat me up! haha ~~ Just kidding!

[Addicted to 24]

Double Post WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Siouxie]

Comrade P, the peeing was on a previous thread.

[Punkin Poo]

Addicted - Folks around here don't think the stupid stunt was funny at all. And I just heard on the radio a "press conference" given by the two idiots that put up the signs. They had just been bailed out on a rather serious charge, and all they wanted to talk about was how "cool" their dreadlocks are.

Somebody please sterilize them.

[Val]

Waaaayy back up there ^^^^

And be sure to attend our follow-up breakfast sermons:

- French Toast and Ticklers
- T!ts 'n' Grits

And our special series on gambling:

- Roulette & Omelet
- Craps 'n' Crepes

*SNORK* Meanie you're killing me!!!!

[Meanie the Blue]

Wow, a retro-SNORK. Thanks!

[Stevie W]

I thought Pierce Wang was a male fetish porn star.

(2:18 pm)

[Cookie]

Punkin, I didn't think it was funny either. I can only imagine how scared I'd have been.

What idiots!

[Brian]

I'm going to the Porn and Pancakes breakfast with some guys from my church. Maybe I'll send back a report.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Some of the movies to be discussed include:
"Debby Does Dishes"
"Short Stack, But Lots 'o Butter"
"He Likes His Eggs Over Easy"
"Flap Jack and Pour His Jelly"

[Brian]

Porn and Pancakes was an awesome event. Here's a link to a local news article.

They interviewed a guy named Donny who is a pastor's kid who started producing porn. (He's the guy on the left on stage in the picture.) His life ended up being a mess. He told how God turned his life around.

I'm the guy on the far left in the audience wearing a grey sweatshirt.